Weekly Chumpdate feat. Michael Phelps, LeBron James, Larry Bird, Jonathan Sanchez, Lance Armstrong, Shawn Marion, Brett Favre, Manny Ramirez, Phil Ivey & Michael Jackson

 

1st-place-25x25Michael Phelps recently set the world record for the 100 meter butterfly at the US Swimming National Championships.  On a related note, scientists have now found that marijuana can serve as both a depressant and a stimulant.

 

basketball-25x252In a recent Nike-sponsored, pick-up game, LeBron James was allegedly dunked upon by Xavier’s Jordan Crawford.  Nike immediately confiscated all video of the event, saying it is against company policy for the media to record such practice sessions.  Similarly, sportschump.net has been caught on video in compromising positions.  Most of these recordings have also been destroyed.  The others can likely be found at the eBay.com bargain bin.

 

basketball-25x253Indianapolis Star sportswriter Bob Kravitz inexplicably used the drafting of (Caucasian) Tyler Hansbrough to mention that (Caucasian) General Manager Larry Bird was building a basketball team around too many… Caucasians.  Stimulating detective work.  During the interview, Kravitz failed to ask Bird much less relevant questions like how his first round draft pick, a national champion, college player of the year and the ACC’s all-time leading scorer, fits into the Pacers’ future.  One day, race will no longer be an issue in sports.  Until then, we’ll be subjected to articles like these.

 

baseball-25x25-22After being demoted from the Giants rotation last month, Jonathan Sanchez (2-8) took the mound Friday night in place of the injured Randy Johnson.  Proving you can in fact get a second chance to make a first impression, Sanchez struck out eleven batters and threw a no-hitter, the first for San Francisco in thirty-three years.  Seeing Sanchez embrace his tearful father in the dugout after the game is the reason we watch sports.  However, had Bob Kravitz written this snippet, he likely would have mentioned Sanchez was the first Puerto Rican Giant pitcher to have thrown a no-hitter.

 

bicycle-25x25Lance Armstrong, seven time Tour de France Champion and former beau of Sheryl Crow, remains in the running at this year’s grueling bicycle competition.  The race’s final stage is July 26th.  Another unprecedented victory would further cement Armstrong’s legacy as the greatest cyclist ever and once again thumb the nose at those trying to accuse him of doping.

 

basketball-25x254The Mavericks were involved in a four-team trade, bringing Shawn Marion to Dallas.  Team owner Mark Cuban showed he’s still interested in surrounding Dirk Nowitzki with championship caliber talent, but will it be enough to keep up with the joneses?  Marion is one of a long list of marquis names to have been traded this off-season, a list which includes Vince Carter, Shaquille O’Neal, Ron Artest, Richard Jefferson and very possibly Carlos Boozer.  The wheels on the bus go round and round.

 

football-25x25What’s a sportschumpdate without mentioning Brett Favre?  The Minnesota Vikings are cashing in on their Mississippi frequent flyer miles.  Their trainer now travels regularly to check up on their 40-year old investment, further leading us to believe that barring any unforeseen failure to recoup from surgery, Brett Favre will be suiting up for the Minnesota Vikings this fall.  RB Adrian Peterson carried the ball 363 times last season.  Anyone else fear he’ll get fewer attempts in 2009 with Favre behind center?

 

baseball-25x25-23Manny Ramirez was ejected from a game this week, having returned from suspension only days earlier.  Facing a 3-2 count, the final pitch of his at bat appeared to be well outside the strike zone, prompting Manny to walk to first base.  The umpire then called a third strike.  Walking toward the outfield in disgust, Manny removed his elbow pad and nonchalantly tossed it over his shoulder.  It fell at the feet of the umpire who promptly ejected him.  Manny was also called out on another questionable strike earlier in the game.  Human error in officiating or grudge against an alleged substance user?  You be the judge.

 

poker-25x25The legend of Phil Ivey continues.  In an effort to confirm he is the world’s best poker player, Ivey remains among the chip leaders at this year’s World Series of Poker Main Event.  He has also won two other events at this year’s WSOP: $2500 Omaha 8 or Better/Seven Card Stud or Better and $2500 No-Limit 2-7 Draw Lowball.  Rest assured, the Main Event bracelet is the one he wants.  Fear for those at the poker table who get in his way.

 

music-25x25I’d be remiss if I failed to mention the passing of Michael Jackson.  In a week where Hollywood lost David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Karl Malden, Michael Jackson’s death sent the entertainment world into shock.  While many question his legacy, he leaves behind an indelible mark on the entertainment industry; his music will live on.

 

football-25x251On a much brighter note, football season is less than two months away.

62 thoughts on “Weekly Chumpdate feat. Michael Phelps, LeBron James, Larry Bird, Jonathan Sanchez, Lance Armstrong, Shawn Marion, Brett Favre, Manny Ramirez, Phil Ivey & Michael Jackson

  1. Viva Sanchez The Puerto Rican was on Baby. Viva Puerto Rico . Viva also Lance Armstrong He prove that you dont need testis to be the Man Ha Ha Ha . Viva also SportsChump.net

  2. Well said, Angel.

    Did you happen to catch the San Francisco feed of Sanchez’ no-hitter? His dad was going bananas in the stands.

    It was the first time his father had seen him pitch in the majors.

  3. Chris ….Sporstchump

    It’s raining cats and dogs here in Dundee. I was going to be hitting a sport’s in W Haven to watch UFC 100 . But if the weather continues as is. Then it’ll be on my lonesome streaming via Yahoo sports. The better hals is at her digs up in O-town .

    So Phelpsie’s given up at the US trials ? Whew who knew ?

    I know why Bron Bron didn’t want the vid to be seen. It’s been alleged that the kid who dunked on him was a pre-op transexual …..LOL,LOL,LOL !!

    White Men Can Jump ! That’s all I’ve got to say as far Hansborough is concerned.

    Sanhez was simply phenomenal

    The Matrix to Dallas and they’ll still remain soft as a baby’s a_ss !

    You could’ve had your prayers answered had you been there for the WSOP . As I’m sure Phil’d have willingly given you $50,000 .

    Enough with Michael already. His father’s now saying that he died under suspicious circumstances. There’s nothing suspicious when you’re taking multiple doses of Diazapan and Demerol What was dickwad the ,em> elder Jackson is !

    I see that Jason Whitlock is proving himself to be a real as_s ! He’s now stating that Serena’d be an even better player were she to lose a few lbs off her rear end .

    Let me know when Whitlock joins Clayton Bigsby and become a Klan member. This guy does more to damage the African American race than David Duke has ever done as a racist.

    Alan Parkins…..

  4. I read about it on the Nuevo Dia Newspaper this morning and espn deportes en espanol

  5. Al… Speaking of Puerto Rico, when I think White Men Can’t Jump, I think Rosie Perez in that tank top, on the hotel room bed, drinking Stoli straight from the bottle. Dios mio!!!

    Brock is a considerable favorite tonight with Mir coming back over 2:1. On that same note, the odds of a fight breaking out tonight in that Dundee bar are considerably greater.

    I just checked the chip standings at the WSOP Main Event. Your boy Hellmuth is making a nice little run. If by some bizarre chance he wins this thing, it would be an amazing accomplishment.

    And re: Whitlock, thanks for reminding me. I need to read that article he wrote about Serena. Something wrong with that body? Are you kidding me?

  6. Salsero… if I can find the link to that video of him and his father in the dugout after the game, I’ll either post it or send it to you.

    It’ll make you cry worse than working 21 straight days working in Clovis, NM.

  7. Oh yeah you know it Baby check it out . he almost lost it on the last inning but the centerfield make a hell of a catch .

  8. I was actually listening to JT The Brick give a play-by-play of the broadcast while driving in my car, then made sure to watch the highlights when I got home.

    No link, bro.

  9. Chris ….

    It’s hard for the top guys to pull of the big win at the main table at the WSOP . But that being said you ..can never say never !

    As for Whitlock he’ll put it out there just to draw a reader’s ire. He gives journalism a thoroughly bad name.

    See my piece on what ought to be an interesting and budding rivalry in the true sense of the word. I know you may not be a track & field fan. But the piece on Tyson Gay and Usain Bolt.


    I’ve Heard It All Before The State Of US Men’s ..Insert Sport Here

    Alan Parkins

  10. Must be tough for the old school pros to make it with all the newbies gunning for ’em.

    I’m not sure how to take Whitlock. I have mad respect for him but sometimes he’s a little over the top for no reason at all.

  11. Chris ….

    Whitlock is an as_shole ! And maddeningly so ! I’ve no time for absolutely anything that he tends to proffer up as an opinion.

    Man how screwed up is the world ? First the death of McNair . And now I read about the death of former lt welterweight champion Arturo Gatti in Sao Paulo , Brazil. Man it’s sad and messed up !

    Former boxing champ Gatti found dead in Brazil

    Alan Parkins

  12. Chris ….

    Like I said I’ve no interest in anything that Whitlock has to say on any topic whatsoever. He’s crass and has about as much knowledge on sports . As Paris Hilton’s knowledge of the English is meant to be profound.

    I’m trying to a a small piece on Arturo Gatti in the form of a eulogy somewhat.

    Alan Parkins.

  13. If anyone can pay homage to a boxer, it’d be you.

    After watching Lesnar highlights, I’m wondering how many hits it would for him to cave in my skull.

  14. Chris

    I’m somewhat disappointed with (Brit) Michael Bisping’s loss to Henderson. But at the same time didn’t St-Pierre look good against Thiago Alves ? He knock the shiz-nit out Alves with a complete array of skills and in particular his takedowns. He and Anderson Silva are by far the two best exponents of the art in UFC.

    As for Lesnar until he meets Fedor Emialanenko . I don’t consider Lesnar the best heavyweight fighter in the world. It’s a joke !

    I hear that Beckham and Landon Donovan as teammates won’t be having a Brokeback moment anytime soon ?

    Alan Parkins

  15. Chris …..

    Don’t buy into the hype over Lesnar. He’s still learning the sport. Dana White knows that he can’t afford to have in the octagon with the likes of Emialanenko as of yet. He’d have the crap kicked out of him.

    And oh how porous and bloviated has the US national soccer team become ? They have a great series of games in the Confed Cup and then they go and lay a goose egg in a lackluster 2-2 draw against Haiti ?

    Gimme’ a break !

    Alan Parkins

  16. Has Beckham lashed back at Donovan? All I’ve heard is Donovan complaining but haven’t heard Beckham say anything. Is he even aware of Donovan’s existence?

    I’m not buying into Lesnar other than the fact that he’s a freak. Like Kimbo, he has marketability, and I would imagine the sport will use that for what it’s worth.

    Be right over to check out the Gatti piece.

  17. Chris ….

    Upon Beckham’s official return to the MLS team L A Galaxy . He says he’ll then address the issues raised directly with Donovan.

    At the same time Donovan has tried to retract some of the statements that he’s made. In actuality Donovan is just showing what an a_ss he really is !

    See this piece on sprinters Usain Bolt and Tyson Gay and let me know what you think as to the piece’s merits ? As and when you’re ready I’ll look forward to reading your comments.

    I’ve Heard It All Before The State Of US Men’s ….Insert Sport Here

    I see that US men’s tennis is back where it belongs in terms of team competition ? It’s losing to Croatia in the Davis Cup . And this is now what we’re meant to hang our hats on ?

    I know that Roddick isn’t competing. But man oh man, this is so asinine ! I hear that Mary Carillo is now making use of her v_brator in order to keep herself excited ?

    As for Johnnie Mac he’s said to be excitied just seeing Carillo in action. Whoo hoo !

    Alan Parkins

  18. Chris ….

    As for UFC , Kimbo’ll be part of the next upcoming UFC series. That guy couldn’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag. Even if he were being given an assist.

    But like I said White and many of the top heavyweights in the UFC stable want absolutely no part of Fedor Emialanenko whatsoever.

    White knows that if any of his guys were to take him on and then lose. Then the division would lose its luster and shine.

    Alan Parkins

  19. I’m surprised Johnny Mac hasn’t given Roddick a good talking to. He’s always been adamant about the the best men’s tennis player committing to the Davis Cup. I have to say I agree with him.

    Is this Beckham/Donovan squabble the lamest professional sports has had to offer? I mean, what’s the point?

    Al… how much of the UFC would you say boils down to luck? I mean it seems the best fighter does not always win. Would you agree? And why the hell do fighters go out there when they’re not ready to fight. If a guy walks out there with a huge bump over his eye or an elephant ear that’s about to pop, why even enter the ring?

  20. Dude, I’m disappointed.. I sent you that piece on Beckham 3 weeks ago and you didn’t pick up on it…

  21. Chris …

    UFC is all about matchups and that’s what White saw when he went about making the matches.

    I can tell you this that by far in a way the two best exponents in MMA/UFC are St-Pierre and Anderson ‘Spider’ Silva. Those actually take time to watch the sport know what I’m saying is true !

    As for Beckham and Donovan the MLS game needs crap like this in order that it gets noticed. Hell how inane is that you’ve got one guy in Phillip Anschutz through his AEG Inc controlling in part 6 or 7 teams in MLS ? Certainly that’s a conflict of interest don’t you think ? And I’m suppose to take an interest in the sport here at the domestical level , much less at the international level as well ?

    US men’s tennis is much like the careers of Tara Reid and Paris Hilton. Who gives a flying #hit what’s happening to them or much the less state of US men’s tennis game in the US to begin with ?

    I hear that Carillo’ll moving up to a 10″ vi_brator with max power ? I bet she’ll be creating a buzz in the commentator’s booth ?

    Alan Parkins

  22. Nice stuff, Chris.

    Nike destroyed the tapes?

    That’s the same thing that Tommy Lee did to the tapes of me and Pam Anderson. Couldn’t compete, I guess.

  23. I hear St Pierre will have to change weight classes to find some competition.

    And I just heard Gatti’s wife was arrested, no? She sat in the hotel room with ten hours before realizing he was dead? Nothing like an attentive wife.

  24. Chris

    I’ve ni doubt that the conspiracy theorists out there’ll have their suspicions as to what happened with the LeBron tapes.

    No doubt that they’ll be thinking …’that the man had something to do with it all ‘! I mean what other explanation could there be ? Surely Bron Bron couldn’t have been embarrassed ?

    As to St-Pierre a chance for him and Anderson ‘Spider’ Silva to face off in the octagon would be something special.

    But a lot of that’d be predicated on the actual purse. It’d have to be in the range of $1.5m apiece for each fighter. Lesnar apparently earned in excess of $2.5m for his contributions in defeating Mir.

    Alan Parkins

  25. I don’t understand what the big deal is. We all saw LBJ get dunked upon TWICE in that Orlando-Cleveland series.

    If Nike had any sense, they’d incorporate that into a new ad. That wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

    Got Brock’s number? Sportschump needs a loan.

  26. Chris …

    Nike has got over $100m vested in Bron , Bron. How’s it going to look if this tape gets out there viral and it makes him their guy look nothing more than average. That’s what they’re looking at in some respects.

    But the way I look at it LBJ already hurt his own credibility with his petulant display against the Magic at the end of the Eastern Conference Finals.

    Alan Parkins

  27. Al… With all the LeBron love, I didn’t think he could do anything to tarnish his image but he is STILL taking heat for leaving that floor without shaking the hands of his opponents.

    Someone might want to tell him he’s not going to win a championship again this year either.

  28. Chris …

    It only takes one momentary act if stupidity or indiference and it’s curtains as to a celebrity’s image. In the case of LBJ he proved that with unsportsmanlike behavior and demeanor.

    The same can now be said of Lesnar after his victory over Mir at UFC 100.
    I’ve read a comment where some idiot stated that Lesnar is entitled to his free speech.
    I don’t think that deriding and verbally abusing your opponent and the audience in attendance is meant to be an acceptable form of free speech , do you ?

    A belated happy birthday to you. I hope the festivities were enjoyable for you ? And at the same time all that you’d wished for was fulfilled ?

    Alan Parkins

  29. Chris …

    In need of a loan ? Do check out Craigslist. There are some lonely females searching for love and companionship and who are willing to pay for that privileged and oh so private service to begin with. If you catch my drift ?

    And the chances are it’d be mutually beneficial for all parties concerned. Nevermind the fact from a business standpoint there’d be nothing to pay back at all.

    Alan Parkins

  30. I was okay with Lesnar’s post-match antics if he’s going for a type of WWF bad guy image. The fans were booing him pretty good so if that’s the rep he’s going for, I’m cool with that.

    Re: Your craigslist suggestion, will they begin frequenting the site. You know we’re always looking for a healthy dose of traffic.

  31. Chris …

    If Lesnar wants to play the anti-hero ne’ villain. Then let him do so ! But don’t insult the fans who came there by abusing them with profanity and then trying to write it off because he was upset with their antics. If he’s allegedly man enough to step inside the octagon. Then crap like that from the fans ought to ride off his back to begin with.

    He made himself and White look the complete as_s to begin with !

    Alan Parkins

  32. Chris

    I’m sure those females will if you start to post one or two provocative pictures of youself in some rather meaningful and suggestive posed. I mean what ‘cougar’ isn’t going to like that ?

    Alan Parkins

  33. Interesting that Silverman is calling out the fans. And I like Romano’s follow-up article. One of my boys is not his biggest fan but I like his writing and I liked how he put Silverman’s comments into perspective.

    I don’t think the team is in danger of moving anywhere any time soon. Maybe you and I should head over there one night, shout for the Rays and hear the echos.

  34. Al… better athletes than him have flipped off fans in their day.

    Sounds like Dana White pulled him aside.

    If the UFC wants to further legitimize themselves, perhaps they should fine Lesnar for his post-match behavior.

  35. Chris …

    It’s obvious at present Lesnar makes for a great selling point as far as the fans go up to a point. Every sport as such needs a perceived hero and a villain. And MMA is no different from any other mainstream sport. That being said there’s a fine line that needn’t be crossed at all.

    And White knew that Lesnar overstepped the boundaries of decency in terms of his behavior. But then again White himself is no angel. As can be borne out by his recent homophobic tirade against a reporter.

    As for the Rays, Silverman , Sternberg had better watch themselves altogether. Especially if they want to remain on the good side of the fans within the Tampa Bay area. There’s only so much that I think that they’re prepared to take up to a point, before they’ll go elsewhere to spend their disposable income. Alienating what little fanbase that they have within the area isn’t the right way of building up goodwill and their continued patronage.

    And here I am thinking that they were astute businessmen ? But apparently that they’re not all that bright to begin with. Carrying on like that and they’ll make the likes of Koules, Barrie, Naimoli and Culverhouse seem almost cerebral. And that’s saying a lot given those guys’ histories.

    And as to the fact that they mightn’t move. If they keep on pushing the stadium issue down the throats of the people of Hillsborough and Pinellas county. Then they might well be told to go to hell.

    The Trop’ may not be up to their standards as to what they deem appropriate . But for now it’ll have to do. As for them once again looking for public funding in order to faclitate the building of a new ballpark. Let ’em at least put up some form of collateral ($75m-$100m in escrow) first as a means of goodwill. I’ve yet to hear Sternberg much less Silverman state that they’re prepared to do that.


    Alan Parkins

  36. Chris

    As far as I’m now concerned if the Rays’ hierarchy wants to show any goodwill. Then as suggested in the previous comment. They’d better put their money where they mouth is. If not then they ought to just shut the *uck up once and for all !

    And as far as the next great rivalry in sports’ll come from. It may not be in NASCAR, tennis or in the NBA. It may well happen on the track between Usain Bolt and Tyson Gay . What’s been building up between those two recenty has become mesmerizing to say the least.

    Check out the piece below and let me know what you think ?

    I’ve Heard It All Before The State Of US Men’s …Insert Sport Here

    Alan Parkins

  37. Chris

    If you rememebered I’d stated that Tom Ricketts had overpaid ($900m) in his actual purchase of the Cubs ?

    Well it’s now being rumored that the team could very well file for bankruptcy protection.

    And though the sale agreement has yet to be finalized as to the sale. It’d suggest that the sale itself may well now be a thing of the past. As present owner Sam Zell looks to relieve or divest himself of basically the none-core assets of the Tribune Co altogether.

    Here’s the link to the story.

    AP Sources: Cubs exploring bankruptcy filing

    I bet that this’ll shake Selig and the game’s hierarchy to its core ? Especially a team that’s as big as the Cubs.

    Alan Parkins ……

  38. Who is SportsChump?

    “It’s tough to score a basket against your opponent in basketball, yet it’s just as tough to defend your basket from being scored upon.”

    Unless it’s me scoring on you, homey…

  39. I myself have been depressed and stimulated at the same time on numerous occasions.

    I bet you thought you lost me huh!

  40. Tophat… true. It could always be worse. We could be Nats fans. Personally, I still think they should have named the team Capitol Punishment. Had a much more threatening ring. Be right there to check out the McGrady piece.

  41. Chris ..

    I have you know I’m no Nats’ fan ! I’d rather swap spit with Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres before I go down that route and then some ! Pass the whipped cream please.

    I’d completed a piece on Acta’s firing. See the link concerning D.C.

    Alan Parkins

    <a href=”

  42. I have a preview from the Paris Hilton video on my blog. To bad it got leeched onto the internet for everyone to watch. She did not want it to be released as it was her ex Rick Salomon that released it.

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