Weekly SportsChumpdate feat. Chris Carpenter, Matthew Stafford, Melanie Oudin, Derek Jeter, Sam Bradford and the dangers of tequila

football-25x25
Proving once again that reality television is bad for you, San Diego Charger linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested for allegedly restraining and choking his girlfriend, former reality television star, Tila Tequila.  Tequila hasn’t done this much damage to someone on the west coast since my last trip to Tijuana.  Tequila charged Merriman with battery and false imprisonment, while Merriman claims he was only trying to stop her from driving under the influence.  Several witnesses back up his claim.  Neither the Chargers, nor the NFL, will take any action against Merriman until all the details of the case have come to light.

 

baseball-25x25-21A carpenter is slowly constructing his team’s path to the playoffs.  St Louis Cardinal ace and probable NL Cy Young Award winner, Chris Carpenter, has earned himself a 16-3 record and a miserly 2.16 ERA.  He ranks second in the NL in wins (16), second in WHIP (0.97), third in complete games (3) and first in both ERA and winning percentage (84%).  Carpenter has been nails lately, winning his last eleven decisions, going no less than six strong in each of those outings.  Last time he took the mound, he one-hit the Brewers and they’re one of the best hitting teams in baseball.  Someone please give this carpenter his hardware already.

 

football-25x251Some top drafted quarterbacks have been brought along slowly, having the luxury to learn from a more experienced mentor.  Others have been thrown to the Lions immediately.  Chalk Matthew Stafford up among the latter.  The Detroit Lions have pegged the former Georgia Bulldog as their opening day starter, edging out Daunte Culpepper.  The bright side for Stafford is that the Lions can do no worse than last year’s dreadfully imperfect 0-16.  Their first win this season might just bring about a parade, or at least the traditional rioting Detroit is used to when celebrating their sports victories.  If Stafford learns to get in sync with future superstar, wide receiver Calvin Johnson, that celebration might come sooner than people expect.

 

tennis-25x25The only American men attending this weekend’s US Open quarterfinals will be those who bought a ticket.  Americans Andy Roddick, James Blake, Sam Querrey, Jesse Witten and Taylor Dent were all eliminated in the third round.  With second seeded Andy Murray also eliminated, the weekend sets up nicely for another possible Federer-Nadal Finals: the Ali-Frazier matchup of our generation.  Federer would be trying for his sixth consecutive Open title while Nadal would be gunning for his first.  In the women’s draw, the story of the tournament has been unseeded, 18-year old Melanie Oudin from Marietta, Georgia.  Oudin has already beaten 13th seed Nadia Petrova, 29th seeded Maria Sharapova and 4th seeded Elena Dementiieva.  At least American women can still play tennis.

 

baseball-25x25-22When you’re mentioned in the same breath as Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, you must be doing something right.  That’s exactly what Derek Jeter has been doing in the Bronx for fifteen years.  Jeter, who is only 35 and shows no signs of slowing down, only needs four hits to pass Lou Gehrig’s all-time Yankee hit record.  As if that weren’t enough of an accomplishment, Jeter needs just over 1500 hits to catch all-time hit leader, Pete Rose.  At his present pace, Jeter will have to play until the age of 43 to catch Rose, who played until he was 45.  And as far as we know, Jeter never bet on baseball.

 

football-25x252Silence struck Norman, Oklahoma last weekend as a season of promise came crashing down with one Mormon tackle.  In the first half of Oklahoma’s season opener, BYU linebacker Coleby Clawson tackled Heisman trophy winner, Sam Bradford, spraining his throwing shoulder and forcing him out of the game.  The Sooners lost 14-13 and dropped from 3rd to 13th in the AP rankings.  Early reports indicate that Bradford will not need surgery but could miss anywhere between 2-4 weeks.  Redshirt freshman Landry Jones, who was 6-for-12 for 51 yards after Bradford’s injury, now has huge cleats to fill.  To make matters worse, the Sooners have also lost their starting tight end Jermaine Gresham for the season due to an injured knee.  Oklahoma’s next difficult road test comes at Miami on October 3, but with a freshman quarterback and an inexperienced offensive line, even the September 19 home game against Tulsa should not be overlooked.  If their defense and rushing attack cannot circle the wagons until Bradford’s return, any hopes for a return to the BCS title game are as good as over.

 

12 thoughts on “Weekly SportsChumpdate feat. Chris Carpenter, Matthew Stafford, Melanie Oudin, Derek Jeter, Sam Bradford and the dangers of tequila

  1. Chris

    I’m so disheartened that a sk_nk like Tequila wasn’t inclined to share with us all , her wares. As to Merriman, why didn’t he just get one of his boys drive her home ? Better yet I’m sure that there’s got to be a cab or limo service there in Poway. Or do they still prescribe to using a horse drawn buggy in that part of California ? Where’s the Amish when you need them ?

    Any one of the Cardinals’ three top line starters could be up for the Cy Young. Wainwright has been sensational. Carpenter has been a beast. And my God, what’ve they been feeding Joel Piniero ? His era is minuscule and not only that , he’s rolled off 8 straight wins since his last no decision or loss.

    Bradford is out for the Sooners and now they may well have lost their TE Jermaine Gresham , quite possibly for the season. He’s a freak of nature !

    As to the US Open and the field. It’s now been made a great deal easier for both Serena and Federer with the seeds tumbling like flies. As for Melanie Oudin. She may well have the crowd behind her but at the end of the day-we all know that she’s going to have to raise her game up sevral notches if she’s to succeed against either Serena or Kim Clijsters. And did I not state ……’ that Clijsters could prove to be a surprise in these championships ? ‘

    So Capt America has surpassed Gehrig on the Yankees’ alltime hits’ list ? No word yet though on the projected time that he’ll surpass Rose , though. Quite possibly by 2018-19 ?

    How is it that the Lakers Lamar Odom can seemingly jettison his wife and end up with one of the Kardashian sisters ? What’s up with that ? Is there a ska_k alert on for any professional athlete to bag-n-tag a Kardashian ? Inquiring minds need to know ?

    Here’s your proof that all is not well in La-La land ……… Click here

    After he nails Khloe does that mean he’ll also want a piece of Kim’s po-dunk-a-dunk ?

    Alan Parkins

  2. I wasn’t there but I can easily see Tila going postal on him, or maybe even doing his machine gun celebration while toasty in the parking lot, trying to wrestle away the keys to his Lamborghini. I wouldn’t want her wrecking that thing either. Do you know how much body work on a Lamborghini costs? More than the body work that she’s had done, I can tell you that.

  3. Chris

    Lamborghini shlamborghini all I know is that these two are made for each other.

    One way or another this is just another black eye for the NFL.

    Furthermore this isn’t the first time that there’s been a situation of this nature concerning Shawne Merriman and a female. Need I say anymore ?

    Here’s my piece on Richard Seymour and the latest concerning the player, the Patriots and the Raiders.

    What’s A Guy Supposed To …….Do Not Pass Go Do Not Collect $200-00 Afterall The NFL Is A Business ……………

    Alan Parkins

  4. Devil’s advocate.

    Merriman could have let that craziness drive off, wreck his or her car, and possibly been held accountable for her well-being, depending on what exactly what went on in that house.

    One thing for sure, Tila Tequila could probably have taken Flavor Flav.

  5. Chris

    Had Merriman allowed that to have happened. Then he could well have ended up behind bars had she killed someone. There’d have been a trail no doubt. And the victim or victims not only would’ve gone after Tequila but also Merriman as well in the terms of a civil suit.

    Reality show stars now come a dime a dozen and have nothing of importance to say whatsoever ! I mean who the *&%k are John and Kate plus 8 ? That bi_h and her low life ex , oughtn’t to be out there talking about what it takes to be a parent. Much like Octomom ……LOL,LOL ,LOL !!!

    I wonder what Dr Spock would’ve made of all three ? And no I’m not talking about Spock from the Star Trek tv series .

    Alan Parkins

  6. Either way, Merriman got locked up. Damned if he did, damned if he didn’t.

    He just needs to realize for future reference he’s twice her size.

    So… if Brad and Angelina are Brangelina and Ben and Jennifer are Bennifer, can we now call Shawne and Tequila Shakira?

    The hips don’t lie, man.

  7. Chris

    If the Bucs are willing to up the ante then I might as be wiling to watch something else . If not I can spend the time at home doin’ an Al Bundy. Or the girlfriend can assist me by acquiescing to my demands for more sex. I like spontaneity but damn but not while I’m watching the NFL or UFC . It messes with my concentration . LOL,LOL,LOL !!

    Premier Bucs’ seat are outrageous when compared to the talent and entertainment at And at this moment in time I’d rather listen to anything that Joe Redner has to say rather than listening to either Raheem or Mark Dominik. Redner is far more coherent even if he were inebriated.
    And that’s a fact , Jack !

    Here’s my latest .

    Where There’s A Will There’s A Way ……….

    Alan Parkins

  8. Chris

    So Madden has been hired by the NFL to provide Goodell with good & wise counseling ?
    Any word as to when they’ll be celebrating Brett Favre Day ? Cause that’ll be no doubt the very first edict coming from the lips of Madden to begin with !

    Alan Parkins

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*