November Chumpservations, Part Two: Tim Lincecum, Las Vegas, the NFL and Hall & Oates

sportsbook1Wanna bet?

Las Vegas sports books have been taking a bath lately and I don’t mean comfortably inside a lavish Bellagio hot tub. Weeks ago, Vegas reported its biggest losses in years. The reason? The disparity between the haves and the have-nots in the NFL is so broad that when these teams play each other, bookmakers can’t set the lines big enough for gamblers to bet on the underdogs.

In the NFL, a 14-17 point spread generally indicates one team is significantly better the other. But even with lines that high, the stronger team has still been covering the number.

Take a look at some of the scores this season between the good teams and the bad: Philadelphia 38, Carolina 10; Seattle 28, St Louis 0; Denver 27, Cleveland 6; Denver 23, Oakland 3; Houston 29, Oakland 6; San Francisco 35, St Louis 0; Minnesota 38, St Louis 10; Giants 44, Oakland 7; Indianapolis 31, Tennessee 9; Green Bay 26, Detroit 0; New England 59, Tennessee 0; Indianapolis 42, St Louis 6; Jets 38, Oakland 0; Chicago 30, Cleveland 6.

There have always been really good teams and really bad ones but for some reason, the discrepancy this season seems greater than ever. Or maybe those betting on the games are just getting smarter.

The question remains whether this is ultimately good for the NFL. It’s certainly not good for the bookmakers. Why would fans of the Buccaneers, Raiders, Rams, Lions, Redskins, Chiefs and Browns continue to cheer for their teams if losing, and losing big, is a foregone conclusion? And to think the league is about to disband its salary cap.

Then again, in the see-saw world of the NFL, only 2 of this Sunday’s 12 favorites covered the point spreads. Guess it’s safe to build that new casino after all.

tim-lincecum-giants3dazedconfusedmitch-kramer3Blazed and Confused

Is anyone surprised that San Francisco ace and Cy Young Award winner, Tim Lincecum, was recently busted for marijuana possession. After all, Lincecum is the spitting image of Wiley Wiggins in Dazed and Confused. They might even be the same person, or at least separated at birth like Tommy Bowden and Tommy Tuberville.

It seems Wiggins and Lincecum have a little more in common than just their looks. Wiggins’ character, Mitch, and most of the cast of Dazed and Confused were blazing throughout the film. You remember Dazed, right? It was Matthew McConaughey’s first major movie, the one where he played the comb-overed pedophile stalking high school girls.

What’s odd about the Lincecum case is that baseball is a sport not generally known for its players’ marijuana consumption. That’s reserved mainly for the NBA. Baseball’s known more for its cocaine, methamphetamines and of course, performance enhancers.

In his last two seasons, Lincecum has averaged 225 innings pitched, so maybe baseball has finally found the key to longevity.

hall_and_oates1Sara Smile

I bartended a private event the other night and had the good fortune of seeing John Oates perform for the crowd. It was quite a thrill as I had never seen them live before, even though his better half, Darryl Hall, was not present.

My co-worker, a 31-year old female, was taken aback by my excitement. I asked her whether she had ever heard of the band and she said, quite sacrilegiously….. no. I rattled off Sara Smile, Rich Girl, I Can’t Go For That and a number of others to no response but a blank stare. It wasn’t until Maneater that she finally recognized a tune.

I turned to my barback, also younger than me but a self-professed music aficionado. He hadn’t heard of them either. What in the world is going on here? Am I getting that much older or has the world just lost its taste in music? Hall and Oates had six number one hits in the 1970s and ‘80s! They were a pop rock mainstay on any radio station around the country.

So I thought I’d give my readers a chance to openly ridicule my partner for not having heard of Hall and Oates. I mean, the duo had seven platinum albums! Wait, you know what an album is, right?

34 thoughts on “November Chumpservations, Part Two: Tim Lincecum, Las Vegas, the NFL and Hall & Oates

  1. yo,
    H & O were the MC of the Endymion parade in my first-ever Mardi Gras in 88
    Needless to say, I went for that:)
    Have they not heard of the Bee Gees either?
    How about the Beatles? Stones? Lionel Ritchie?

  2. Never having heard of Hall and Oats is absolutely criminal…second only to actually liking Hall and Oats.

  3. I had a similar experience back in 1988. I was lounging at the pool and there was a young girl, about 18, a few feet away. She had a boombox and a new George Harrison song came on. He had just released a new CD a few weeks earlier. She changed the station and I said to her, Put that back. Its George Harrison.
    She asked, Who?
    I said, George Harrison, he was one of the Beatles.
    She looked at me and said, The Beatles? What a lame group.
    I told her that if she didn’t leave right away, I was going to dismember her.

  4. Oh, by the way, I saw Hall & Oates at the old Hollywood Sportatorium back in 1986. I was sitting 4th row center and they put on a great show.

  5. Bryson… my man!

    Way to let her have it. Of course, everyone’s knowledge of music pales in comparison to yours, even the arthritic Semitic, but to not know Hall and Oates, nuh uh.

    Funny you went on that diatribe. I hit up her up, asking if she had heard of similar acts

  6. Damion 2.0… you’re gonna have to mix in something other than NWA and Snoop at your wedding, dog.

    Maybe we can get that DJ at Austin’s friend’s house to work the ones and twos.

  7. I certainly hope you are using your considerable NFL handicapping skills to stimulate the Hillsborough economy.

    “I keep getting older, they stay the same age.”

    ***Pssst, hey Rev, you actually knowing Hall and Oates songs and stats will not help get your co-workers ridiculed. In fact, it should have the opposite effect.*** LOL

    P.S. I know the one on the right is Alexis Arguello, who’s the other guy?

  8. Beatles lame, huh? I’ll just have my mom read right over that comment of she might hunt down that girl too. But that’s what you get for hanging out at the kiddy pool, Snake.

    Good thing she didn’t say she didn’t know who Larry Bird was or your head might have exploded.

  9. Good point, Han. I did get the whole “You’re old” thing right after that conversation, but I’d rather be old and hip than young and not so much.

    I think I had a rough week picking teams on SRM, Han. Fortunately, I had a nice head start.

  10. Hey Rev,
    I’m not sure about the spread for the pros, but if I were a betting man I’d like some of those points they’re giving the underdogs in college.
    I’m not suprised about Linecum, in fact with that haircut I would be suprised if he didn’t get high.John Oates huh, thats like seeing Jim Messina without Kenny Loggins. And you think your getting old.
    Thanks for letting me play along.
    Take care my friend.

  11. Chris

    Hall & Oates ? They still alive ?

    As for AI I wouldn’t want him anywhere near a young roster of players. But mind you, I just realized that the Grizzlies have Zach Randolph on their roster. Oh my God ! That’s akin to having Pee Wee Hermann in a room full of pre-pubescent boys. Yada, yada, yada , yada !

    Hey, since when did Sammy Sosa see fit to channel his inner Michael Jackson ? Have you seen the color of his friggin’ grill ?

    Check out my piece on him and his peers of yesteryear.

    Mirror Mirror On The Wall Who’s The Fairest Of Them All Is That Really You Sammy Sosa ?

    Alan Parkins

  12. Chris

    I’ll go with that on the Tebow vote.
    Other than Ingram I can’t really think of another worthwhile performer for the Heisman this year. It’s been a down year in terms of top of the line performances overall.

    But considering the Heisman voters are all about the here and now rather than a player’s overall body of work. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they give it to someone other than Tebow or Ingram.

    Alan Parkins

  13. Chris

    Let Lincecum do what he’s doing , just as long he’s not doing while DUI. I mean we don’t want another Nick Adenheart or Donte’ Stallworth tragedy .

    Alan Parkins

  14. 78’s or 45’s?

    Yup… I know how you feel.

    And whaaaaat??? The Beatles lame??? You dont want to get me started … that little girl wont like me when I’m angry! :] (what an idiot)

    Great post …keep ’em coming sportschump. 🙂

  15. Chris

    So the 21 year old Cada ended up with the WSOP Final Table bracelet and the $ 8.5 million then ? Good for him !

    So what are your thoughts on Sosa’s new look ? Channeling his inner Jackson or what ?

    Alan Parkins

  16. Aer… I generally bet money lines in both college and pros. I’ve found it’s the best way to make money.

    For example, the Gators spreads have been way inflated this year. I think they’ve only covered two or three games this season while they covered EVERY spread after the Ole Miss game last year.

    Messina without Loggins? GREAT comparison! If Messina toured with Oates, do you think anyone would attend?

  17. I remember a young Zach Randolph at Michigan State. I really thought he would develop into a nice little (well, not so little) post player.

    Shoulda stayed in school.

  18. Al… I was working tonight and didn’t catch the end of the tourney.

    I heard the head to head between Cada and Moon took quite a while before Cada finally took him down.

  19. 1983, Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum…I was 12 years old and I won front row tickets for Hall and Oates from the old 103.5 WAPP in New York. The show was fantastic. They had Big Country and Til Tuesday opening up if you remember them.

    It is amazing that the younger generation does not know about the music, movies and TV shows that came before them. When I was in my teens and early twenty’s I enjoyed checking out old 60’s and 70’s music, movies and TV shows. It was nothing more than pop culture curiosity. I am around 18-22 year old students all day and it’s amazing that they can’t remember popular TV shows, music or movies from just a few years back. i made a Jerry McGuire reference in class last week and the students had no idea what i was talking about. I had another students tell me he loves classic rock and when I follwed up with “what bands” he said “Pearl Jam and Nirvana but, you know, just there older stuff.” I nearly fell over.

    Today’s twentysomethings are so consumed by facebook and texting that they have no desire to explore older movies, music and TV shows. If it came before them, they figure it must not be worth anything.

  20. I saw Hall & Oats at Senior Night at Six Flags (GA) back in 1981. A couple years later a bunch of us were running when someone started singing “Maneater”. Then one of the girls, really tired from the run said “It feels like a man’s been eating me!” We could hardly finish running we were laughing so hard!

  21. Frank… they didn’t catch on a Jerry Maguire reference? That movie was a few years ago…. wasn’t it? Doesn’t matter, you’re still my ambassador of Kwan.

    I don’t know if you’re a Family Guy fan but their references are all over the place.

    I guess we’re getting old, man. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  22. Pingback: Bear Down and Get Some Runs, best-of: March 7, 2005 «

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