This week’s caption contest featuring Sammy Sosa
November 11th, 2009 by Chris HumpherysIt’s rare that we at SportsChump.net are blessed with a photo that needs no doctoring or no explanation. It stands alone on its own freakish merit.
Such is the case this week.
Most of the major names surrounding baseball’s steroid scandal, i.e. Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro, have disappeared into obscurity… until recently, when sports fans were shocked to see the emergence of a new-look Sammy Sosa.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that’s him.
So in the spirit of retaliation against someone who allowed us to believe that the late 1990s home run races were legitimate, let’s let him have it good in this week’s caption contest.
Let’s get this party started right, shall we…
1) Sammy Sosa seen here in full costume at the premiere of the new Michael Jackson movie.
2) With just a few minor skin treatments, Sammy Sosa went from being 6th on the all-time home run list to the second greatest white home run hitter ever.
Beat that, boys and girls.
The bar has been set.
Chris
One can only surmise that Sosa’s channeling his inner Whacko Jacko ? God-damn !
Mirror Mirror On The Wall Who’s The Fairest Of Them All ? Is That Really You Sammy Sosa ?
Pitch him against famed actor George Hamilton and then try to guess which one is the real freak ?
As to the Heisman I think you make a valid point with McCoy . But were he to win it , I’d view it as something of a consolatory award .
Something of a payback for missing out previously and that’s not what the Heisman vote is meant to be about is it ?
Alan Parkins
My comment was going to be Michael Jackson-related, but alas, I wasn’t quick enough to the draw.
From my view though, it looks like he took being Count Chocula for Halloween just a little bit too seriously.
That’s exactly why I think McCoy will get it this year, Al.
Chris
Mirror Mirror On The Wall Who’s The Fairest Of Them All ? Is That Really You Sammy Sosa ?
Ricky and Sammy hiding in the fields , Ricky finds Sammy’s fo_eskin so easy to peel .
Ricky Martin is said to have had a crush on Sammy ever since his days in Menudo .
Alan Parkins
It must have been the Clear…
EG…. in that case, is McGwire Frankenberry?
Al… does Cotto have any chance this weekend?
Arthrtitic Semitic coming up with some honorable mention.
Dude, you jumpin’ on the Magic bandwagon yet? That’s a nice damn team they have there.
Magic is amazin’! Have 2 tix for game here if you want to come see how tolerant the NOLA crowd is.
Chris Humpherys
Cotto has a puncher’s chance and that’s about it. As I feel that Pacquiao will wear him down and either win by a majority decision or a knockout. Cotto’s jaw is like porcelain. One good shot and he’s down like a sack of potatoes .
This was piece on the Haye Valuev heavyweight title bout (WBA)
http://tophatal.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-beholder-oops-weve-another-heavyweight-champion-of-the-world/ …
Alan Parkins
Chris
So what gives with the Bears ? I thought that they were meant to contend , now that they had Cutler ?
Add Lovie Smith‘s name to the potential list of year end managerial casualties in the NFL.
Alan Parkins
“What? I heard pale, ex-juicing, white guys were getting hired as hitting coaches now.”
Sosa on the Red Carpet for the “Twilight” premiere
Let’s leave steroids out of it. I still think that there’s nothing wrong–save for an occasional heart failure–with juicing. It’s the athlete’s choice. I most certainly makes for a better game.
That aside… what the hell? it’s the reincarnation of ‘Granpa’ from The Adams family.
Sosa is on the left, correct? Who’s the guy with Sammy?
Vitiligo been berry berry good to me.
that woman looks really pissed..she thought she was going out with sammy sosa..her face is saying ..who is this freak??
Jeremy… they’ll be tolerant ’til Vinsanity drops 30 on ‘em.
Al…. is that pay-per-view?
Silly me for asking. What major boxing match isn’t these days?
Will the last fan of that sport please turn out the lights when they’re done watching?
Well, the Urlacher injury hurt. And in all fairness, Lovie does have a brand new QB.
I don’t see him losing his job in the off-season.
This will be a tough Thursday night game for them though.
Han…. Very nice. Reverse affirmative action.
DB… I was thinking along the same lines. I ended up going with the Michael Jackson premiere instead of the Twilight one. Nice work, 11/11.
Wow… MMI comes out a-blazin’! Interesting take.
I must say, I’m okay with it also. What a person does with his own body is his own business, even if it turns your face white.
So your take is no asterisks or nothing, huh? Let ‘em all into the Hall of Fame?
I like it.
Snake… I do believe that’s Priscilla Presley to Sosa’s Michael.
Damion 2.0 going with a Chico Escuela reference… while simultaneously deleting all the Hall and Oates from his iPod.
You’re right, Lee. That’s not exactly the most flattering picture of his date either.
Apparently, the company line is he admitted to using the skin treatments but it was the lighting that made things worse that they looked.
‘Sosa adds another four-bagger to his total.’ (Although, I do wish the camera had panned down a little to see her fun baggers)
‘Mr Sosa’s makeup and wardrobe provided by Jack Nicholson’s Joker, c.1985′
Han… that is simply not nice.
How about something like… Sosa’s date, hoping to find out if it’s true that once you go black, you never go back, was slightly disappointed when Sammy Sosa arrived at her door that evening.
She could put up with his shrunken testicles and his man boobs, but this is ridiculous.
Aer… don’t talk about Al’s girlfriend that way, man. We prefer to consider him aging gracefully.
Oh, my bad. You were talking about Sosa.
“In a surprise move, Sammy Sosa is reprising his role as Al Jolson in “The Jazz Singer: White Man’s Burden.”
Where did I put that glove?!
aero
The day I’m seen with a chick with a bigger Adam’s apple and a block and tackle between her legs. It has to be the day when it’s one of the chicks that you’ve already been with and now trying pimp out amongst friends and family. And that ain’t happening with me bro’ ! LOL, LOL,LOL !!!! Ouch !
In all honesty though Sammy’s excuse is laughable at best.
He’s channeling his inner Whacko Jacko just be on the lookout when he’s then chasing after young boys and offering to buy them ice cream if they come back to his place for a massage or things of that nature. He won’t just be swinging bat then, though. He’ll be letting them get a hold of his personal Louisville slugger of the co_k variety.
Alan Parkins
Chris Humpherys
Yeah the bout is on PPV and it’s priced at $54-95. To my that’s far too steep a price to pay. I’ll try and hit a bar that’s showing it locally in the area or just wait ’til next weekend and watch it on HBO .
I’d dropped this piece on Kareem after his illness had been announced formally. As and when you’re ready let me know what you think as to its merits ?
Heroes , Villains & Icons …..
Alan Parkins
Al… I do believe I’ll be watching the bout. I’ll let you know what I think.
Chris
I’ll be putting up my own thoughts on the upcoming bout between Cotto and Pacquiao within the next day or two. As and when it’s ready I’ll give you a heads up on it.
Here’s my piece on Kareem , with regard to him being diagnosed with myeloid cancer.
Heroes Villains & Icons
As and when you’re ready I’ll look forward to reading your comments.
Alan Parkins
Heroes , Villains & Icons
Alan Parkins
Al… Cotto’s not even a 2-and-a-half to 1 underdog against Pacquiao.
I thought that would have been a little bit higher.
Chris
Cotto’s chin is like porcelain. And if Pacquiao even uses 1/8 of his punching power. Cotto’s a_s will be grass.
Vegas hasn’t overlooked the fact that in the Cotto Margarito bout. Cotto was bloodied up badly . You don’t think Manny’ll do the same thing , if not worse ?
The Griffin Doctrine that’s a good one with regard to adjudicators of the Heisman !
They can’t have a back to back winner and they’ll no doubt be undecided as to whether or not Tebow is deserving of a second triumph in winning the accolade.
Dropped this on the Bears and their qb Jay Cutler.
The Sad Thing Is The Chicago Bears Are What I Thought They’d Be Just Another Average Team Behind The Arm Of A Much Overhyped QB ‘nough said !
Did I read that right, the Hornets have fired Byron Scott ? Say it ain’t so ?
Alan Parkins
> Chris
You’ve got to give Lane Kiffin credit where it’s due. Only he could get three of his players motivated enough to go out and commit armed robbery .
What the listening to Lil’ Wayne wasn’t enough for them to begin with ?
Alan Parkins
Chris
So that game last night between the Bears and Niners , what was it meant to do ? Extol the virtues of the NFL or just downright bore us to death ?
And the public were meant to be enamored with a 10-6 win by the Niners over the Bears ?
Alan Parkins
Cutler looked awful last night. Fortunately I had the 9ers and laid the points.
We’l see if Cotto goes down that easily.
Like the Don Calvino says, Knoxville Correctional empties its cells on Saturday so that UT can field a team.
Somewhere, Urban Meyer is having the last laugh.
Actually, Al. That final drive was definitely worth watching.
Cutler was channeling his inner Trent Dilfer with all those picks.