71 thoughts on “Sportschump.net presents… Out of the (Tiger) Woods Driving School video

  1. I’m laughing my ass off watching this video. Thanks Chris. I needed that. I just forwarded it to everyone that I know. All 3 of them.

  2. SWEET!!! Where do I sign up??? Very funny. Let me know when you have “yard time” in the Slammer!

  3. Martina… with your driving record, I should have listed you as one of the celebrity instructors.

    Hey, I might be up in the Ville this weekend. Let’s hook up. Please advise the McDiesel.

  4. Chris

    Does this mean that Tiger is entitled to ‘a mulligan’ for doin’ that NY nightclub hostess ? Man his ‘9 iron’ and ‘sand wedge’ must’ve seen a great deal of action with that chick ?

    Now what’s the bet he was _hittin’ bricks when Elin said ‘ I want half you _bastard ‘! Half of upwards of $ 600 million plus,is a nice chunk of change, wouldn’t you agree ?

    There’s more to come from this story. Especially when the likes of TMZ and Nancy Grace start digging for ‘dirt’. Whoops here’s Jamie Foxx’s Lawanda Page saying that she had oral sex with Tiger . Like whoa ! LOL,LOL,LOL !!!!

    Alan Parkins

  5. For $19 9 99 99 99 99. (ha-ha) I’ll reveal all my dring skills and secrets!

    10 star post!!! Again, NICE!

  6. Chris

    What’s the ol’ sayin’ …..’you don’t s_it where you eat, nor do you have sex with one your wife’s best friends. And if you’re doin’ it on the DL, then you’d better remember to get your alibi’s straight.

    Hon’ what’s this phone # doin’ inside your pocket book with the name Emma and 5 stars by the side of it ? Oh , not to worry Elin , she’s just an intern from Nike I’m helpin’ get established.

    The five stars either measures her level of maturity or how good she is in the bunkers , if you know what I mean ?

    Alan Parkins

  7. Chris

    As with the credit card commercial .

    Tiger winning at golf . No big deal !

    Tiger crashing his $ 65,000 plus Cadillac SUV …. no worries !

    Tiger being beaten black ‘n’ blue by his wife , for cheatin’ and lyin’ ’bout it ….well, that’s just got to be priceless !

    Alan Parkins

  8. Chris

    Visa it’s everywhere Tiger doesn’t want to be at the moment. Do you think he’ll do a ‘one up on’ Kobe and buy Elin a $8 million diamond encrusted ring , just for good measure ? LOL,LOL,LOL !!!

    Alan Parkins

  9. Hey Rev baby, that was fantastic. Have you found representation. Stick with me kid, I’ll make you a star. I hear they’re shooting a re-make of Westworld and if you can sing I can get you a off Broadway production of the King and I.
    Call me!

  10. Chris

    ‘All the allegations are false according to Tiger ‘? Then why the profound apology to his family for his transgressions ? And what are those transgressions by the way as inquiring minds needs to know .

    Tiger has now become a douche-bag and a bona-fide hypocrite. Here he is with his learning foundation steering kids on the right path and stating that honesty is the best policy. And what does he do ?

    Cheat on his wife and then lies to her about it , attacks the press for unearthing his lies. What’s are we suppose to think ? Take him at his word because he’s Earl’s son ? His father must be now turning in his damn grave at the sheer stupidity shown by his son ‘the hypocrite .

    Alan Parkins

  11. Al… I’m totally okay with whatever Tiger wants to do as long as he’s okay with the repercussions.

    Personally, I don’t care what happened. I don’t feel the need to know every sordid detail.

    But I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna make fun of it.

    The guy in the video looks a little like Tyrese, huh.

  12. Last night, Keith Olbermann said that Tiger was having some problems with his driving but more importantly he was having a lot of problems with his putz. Ha, Keith still has it. What a guy.

  13. Nice film there Hollywood! You would probably get more views if you had a chick in it…not a married chick…but like one you would cheat with…Did I say that? NO I DID NOT!…Just “The Ugly Truth”!..great movie by the way. Gville this weekend? Giv me a buzz or at least help me pay for one :^)

  14. Chris

    That’s where you and I differ on this to an extent. He’s holding himself up as some paragon of virtue and telling kids that education and ‘honesty’ are things to strive for . But yet once it’s found out that he’s a liar and a philanderer . He expects empathy from the fans. Let’s just that it’d had come out that he’d slept with an underage female. What would be your thoughts then ?

    The guy is a friggin’ hypocrite !

    Answer me this , does David Stern and the NBA have a comprehensive drug and steroid abuse policy ? Because by my way of thinking with Ron Artest’s statement. There’s grounds for some sort of warranted suspension. Given the fact that he’s freely admitted to drinking during games . And if that’s the case , was he then getting into his own personal vehicle and driving himself home after the home games for the Bulls, when he played for them ?

    They’d always been somewhat ‘sluggish’
    when it came to the players’ use of ‘weed’. Being as he (Stern) knew that MJ quite often was known to get his ‘highs’ off a joint or three as the case maybe.
    But as of now Stern has been eerily silent after Ron’s admitted statement.

    No Big Surprise There What Do You Think ….?

    Alan Parkins

  15. Snake… sounds like Tiger’s putz is working just fine.

    Nice win by the Celtics in San Antonio tonight. Too bad they won’t be able to beat the Magic when it counts.

  16. Al… don’t get me wrong. By no means am I defending Tiger. I’m just saying what he does with his own putz is his own business. And he’ll pay the price. Dearly.

    And there’s no truth to the rumor that Ron Artest was in the car drinkin’ Henny with Carlos Dunlap.

  17. I am starting to hear the late Oscar buzz my man. Funny stuff holmes. I shared it with the wife and some others…waiting on feedback. I did not reveal your wayward sports affiliations prior to the viewing, in order to solicite accurate feedback from the midwesterners. A demographic I know you value….

    How big are those fing crickets down there? I could barely hear you at the beginning!

    Bucks and Ducks…awesome, just what i wanted for New Years…the OSU defense doing their best Rocky-Chase-the-chicken impression.

  18. C’mon, Petey. Why do you think the women threw their panties at the Reverend all the time?

    You’re right. Love the Midwestern contingency. I have a few faithful Buckeye readers who provide me with some Big Ten perspective when I get too big for my SEC britches.

    At this point, you’ve gotta be happy with the way things ended up for the Buckeyes. I fully expect you to handle Oregon and end up a Top Five team.

    The question is what Jimmy T’s gonna do with that next year. With one more year under Pryor’s belt, I think you guys would have to be favorites to win a national title going into next year… ya know, put things back in their proper place, you might say.

    Now just go out there and make that happen.

  19. Chris

    I’ve no time for someone when they’re being self righteous and holier than thou. While at the same they’re back sliding.

    I mean what did Tiger think was going to happen once this all came to the fore ? We’d all forgive and forget ? What he does behind closed doors, quite rightly is his own business. But he’d better be prepared to meet the consequences in whatever shape or form it represents when it comes calling.

    If he’s now asked a question by one of the students at his learning center there in California, on honesty . How the hell can he look at that kid in the eye in all sincerity and explain the meaning of the word ? Especially given the fact that the kids’ll no doubt snickering at him behind his back.

    What’s Tiger’s comeback gonna be ? ‘Do as I say not as a I do’ !

    I’m not saying that Roy’s beating at the hands of Danny Green was bad. But the last time I saw someone hit the canvas that fast they’d been hit by a bullet in the side of the head literally.

    One’s Fall From Grace Can Really Be Bad But When It’s There For All Too See It Can’t Get Much Worse, Or Can It ?

    Alan Parkins

  20. Al… he’ll probably say the same thing Rick Pitino says when he walks into a recruits living room.

    I see that the Pacquiao-Mayweather date is set. Very nice!

  21. Hope you’re right on all counts. I was hoping to make the trip to Cali (never been) but we already have a family trip scheduled to Disney for Christmas. I will be needing that list of adult entertainment facilities for the greater Orlando area at your convenience.

    I think the Gators should wrap up another title this year and then it will be time for the Buckeyes to gather some redemption the next couple of years.

    Going head-to-head for a couple of stud recruits right now too…you guys have enough, tell Urban to back off Joyner & Henderson.

  22. Well, Pete, this could be Florida’s last run for a while. One can only assume Dunlap is gone. Spikes and Tebow obviously are. There’s also rumors of Haden leaving early. And now Charlie Strong’s name has been linked to the Louisville gig, so we’ll see what happens.

    As I’ve told all my Gator brethren, enjoy this season like we enjoyed that second run at a national basketball championship because we won’t be seeing this again any time soon.

    I’m in Tampa now, not too far from O’Town. Drop me a line and perhaps I’ll drive over to give you a tour of some of those finer establishments.

    Not that I’ve ever been to any.

  23. Well the cupboard will not be bare at UF. Having a player like Tebow can definitley spoil a fan base (see Troy Smith), but rest assured UF will be back quick, maybe not dominant but replenished. That is how the big boys roll!

    I will definitiely give you a shout if there is a night I can sneak away…long shot at this point. The wife likes to drink more than I do, but I don’t think I can send Mrs. Nice out solo with the Rev….

  24. She’d come home wearing a Gator hat, my friend. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact you both might. Bring her along and you can D.D.

    I know UF just reloads but look at Pete Carroll this year. The guy loses three games and people are starting to ask if the dynasty is over.

    I’m interested in seeing how Meyer adjusts his play-calling with Brantley next year, who’s more of a drop-back passer.

    We’ll be tipping back a few tomorrow, pacing nervously. Wish us luck.

  25. I will be watching too my friend. I am a Buckeye fan first, but a CFB fan second. Setting up the venue as we cyber-speak. I think Tebow will find a way to win it. That is what he does.

    I think Gator aparrel on my body might cause severe skin rash, so no thanks breeze.

  26. You’ll be happy to know I have a collection of photographs of different Buckeye fans wearing Gator gear.

    TURNCOATS!!!

    By the way, those Central Florida adult establishments are known to cause the same sort of rash.

  27. Love it! The Chump pulling a Trump, and branching out! Multi-media.

    All it needed was Spike Lee being put through the rim.

  28. You are too funny, bro! I never knew. By the way, isn’t Tiger “supposedly” under contract to ‘only drive Buicks?’

    So what’s up with the Escalade?

    🙂

  29. And you thought you were the only one with a face for tv.

    And c’mon, Mean, you know it’s not like el Tigre to be faithful.

    Nice to see you back on.

    I think I took you guys off the blogroll so let me know if you’re putting out more stuff and I’ll throw you back on.

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  37. How did I miss this the first time around? That was awesome. More of this Chump.

  38. Yea, D.

    MoS and I had some fun with this one.

    Wild how it still rings true nine years later.

    I’ll see what I can do about more of this in the future.

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