How to host a successful Super Bowl party

You and your buddies have been planning a Super Bowl party for months.  Deep down inside, you know the party with its canned beer, half-eaten bag of stale chips and couch that seats three will suck, but at least you’ll be with your boys for the most hallowed of all sports days.

Then your girlfriend gets a call from the doctor’s office where she works part-time and guess what…. her boss is throwing a Super Bowl party.  You’ve met him before, know he makes a mint and should throw one heckuva bash.  He’ll probably even have a plasma TV and those crescent roll-wrapped mini-hot dogs you love so much, but you can’t dis your boys.

So you’re in a bind.  The doctor’s party will have its merit, but having to explain the principles of illegal man downfield to those who don’t understand football isn’t always worth the free liquor.   Your friend’s couch may have fleas but at least he has a keen knowledge of the sport.

Decisions, decisions.

No worries, we’ve made it easy for you.  Here is sportschump’s end-all, be-all guide on How to Properly Host a Super Bowl Party.  Assuming you can’t get to Las Vegas to bet your Super Bowl odds the old school way, follow these simple instructions to host your own Bowl extravaganza.

guac_dip_football1TREATS: What’s a party without supplies?  Plan your food purchase around how many people you’ll be having over.  The last thing you want is people leaving hungry by halftime.  Remember, you’re competing with the doctor.  While your knowledge of Super Bowl MVPs past is impressive, it might pale in comparison to his endless supply of baklava.  You don’t need the most luxurious of local catering but you’ll want plenty of finger foods.  Shrimp, chips, chicken fingers, subs, veggie trays, and pizza are all good suggestions.  Having people bring a covered dish is never a bad idea, that way you’re not left footing the bill.  Don’t forget the paper/plastic utensils.  You don’t want to be doing dishes for post-game celebration.

TV: Depending on the size of your place, you may consider two or more televisions.  A large-screen plasma isn’t required, but you don’t want twenty people huddled around your iPod either.  With anything more than a dozen people, you may want another boob tube so people can float around and watch.  Volume is also key.  Amazingly, not every person will be tuned into the game.  We suggest keeping the volume high enough so the conversationalists can get the hint.

COMMERCIALS: You get up for a beverage during a commercial break only to forget that some corporation has just spent $2.5 million on the next thirty seconds to sell you something you don’t need.  The next day, someone asks you if you caught that one commercial with the monkey in the tutu dress dancing the lambada and you feel out of the loop.  Don’t worry about it, your drink was better anyway and you’ll likely see that commercial for the rest of eternity.  But many partygoers will want to pay attention to the ads.  Keep in mind, that’s part of the Super Bowl and money makes the world go around.

superbowl-party2LIQUOR: BYOB are four letters your friends should be familiar with.  It’s bad enough you’re going to have to clean the place on your own, you don’t need your crew getting drunk at your expense.  Have people bring what they’re going to drink.  Remember, one of the benefits of hosting a party is the leftover booze, assuming there is any.  Make sure people bring a variety so the gang isn’t drinking the same flavor of Arbor Mist all night.  Mixers are important too.  Keep an adequate supply of soft drinks and juices on hand.

GAMBLING: Since most of us won’t be playing Super Bowl odds at a Vegas sportsbook, we’ll have to make do with a pen and paper.No Super Bowl party is complete without a Super Bowl grid.  Aside from adding an illegal edge to your shindig, it keeps people entertained and gives everyone the chance to leave with more money than they came.  Create a ten-by-ten square grid on a large piece of paper and post it on the wall.  Do NOT assign numbers to the grid until all 100 squares have been filled out with names of people at the party.  Depending on the median income of the group, charge anywhere from a quarter to a few dollars per square.  Once all the money is collected and all the squares are filled in, assign teams and numbers to the grid.  One team is assigned the horizontal, another the vertical.  Have the prettiest girl at the party pick random numbers from 0-9 out of a hat and write them in the order they’re picked along the top and side of the chart.  Prize money can be awarded per quarter or at the end of the game, winners determined by the last digit of each team’s score.

Here’s hoping your party is a success.Don’t forget to send me an invite.I know what BYOB stands for.

36 thoughts on “How to host a successful Super Bowl party

  1. So, what’s the girlfriend going to tell her boss and what if she REALLY wants to go to the boss’ party and what if she goes to boss’ party and you have your party and she runs off with the boss? Huh, huh, huh? What then!

    Maybe Lady Gator will have an opinion, too!lol

  2. That was uncalled for! This is a response to a story where no one considered the girlfriend’s feelings! But maybe you’re throwing a party no woman would want to miss since the guys are bringing enough girlfriends for a “prettiest girl there” to pull numbers out of a hat. Might be worth crashing!lol

  3. Ath… I think we all know that whatever girlfriends want, girlfriends get.

    And if you hosted a Super Bowl party, I’d be honored to be the one chosen to pull numbers out of a hat.

    Just don’t ask me to jump out of a cake.

  4. Chris

    Not exactly Mr Ray of Sunshine at the moment. Not with Spurs’ GM, R C Buford and ‘Pop’ seeking to trade Manu to the Suns for Amar’e Stoudemire !

    Couldn’t they think about a multi-player deal involving another team ? Man I’m pi_sed !

    Here’s my take on it all.


    Say It Ain’t So R.C ? Say It Ain’t So ? Not My Beloved Spurs …..Please Don’t Split Up ‘The Big Three’ ! Don’t Do It …..Please …… Just Don’t Do It !

    Superbowl parties will abound unfortunately for you or I Denise Milani won’t be attending any that either of us know of . And that’s a real shame when you come to think of it, real downright shame !

    Vid montage of Denise for you to devour.

    Alan Parkins

  5. I can tell, Al. The mere mention of breaking up your beloved Spurs is as if Pop just peed in your Wheaties.

    I already commented on your post.

    I could see them giving up Manu for Amare and personally, as they say ’round your parts, you might should be okay with that.

    Although, I would like to see what they do with a full season of RJ before blowing everything up.

    But Pop is a shrewd cat. I can see him just throwing the Spurs name into the mix just to get other interested parties to pony up more than they ordinarily would.

    He lives in San Antonio. This ain’t his first rodeo.

  6. LOL…Athens. I couldn’t let you down, girl!

    My personal opinion, keeping in mind I’m a HUGE footbal fan, GF should graciously decline the DR’s party invite. Hang with her man and his boys instead! These are the chumps you can really feel yourself around anyway. Besides, it’s the SUPER BOWL! Time to show these guys you can call a play like a coach and spot a penalty before the flags get thrown.

    If, by chance, the GF isn’t into football, take his credit card and go shopping or the spa. But, for goodness sake, let him and his buddies watch the Super Bowl game in peace.

    I seem to recall SportsChump offering up other options to GFs of football fantasy addicts; review “A woman’s guide to coping with fantasy football addicts” dated August 19th, 2009.

    BTW, my Super Bowl pick…the SAINTS! They’re playing with serious heart and I love that! GO SAINTS!

  7. Last years party was a success thanks to your tips. This year I got a good start by breaking down and getting the big screen tv, but I couldn’t help feeling that I was missing something. Then I read your post and realized what it is that will complete the party. Baklava! Rev you’re a genius. Thanks once more for coming to the rescue.
    p.s.
    You would be more than welcome to the party, but I know you will be too busy with your other celebrity friends to attend.

  8. Aer… the baklava seals the deal, baby. Nothing says Super Bowl like middle eastern pastries.

    And by the way, you are one of my celebrity friends.

    It’s a black tie affair. You comin’?

  9. I will try and sneak away at half time. I’ll be the one with a tray of baklava in one hand and a bottle of ouzo in the other. Opa!

  10. Super Bowl parties are the best. Love the pools. I have left a few parties richer than when I walked in. All luck, but still fun.

    One more bit of advice for the attendees…. Do not be the guy who won’t shut up. You know, the guy who calls the plays beforehand. He’ll actually get one or two correct…out of the 150 that are ran!

    Sorry, Lady G, but the Saints won’t be marching out with the Lombardi hardware. Peyton will be performing open-field surgery, it won’t be pretty.

  11. Al… I love me some juicy NBA rumors. And I love you keeping me posted on them.

    Now THAT is a move I can sink my teeth into.

    It will make the Heat immediate contenders although they’ll now have three power forwards in Amare, Beasley and Haslem, unless either Beasley or Haslem would be involved in the trade.

    At a minimum they’re making an effort to keep D Wade in South Beach. Don’t sleep on Riley, dude. He knkows what he’s doing.

  12. Rev….Son, you went 4-0, and you still only tied ME for the overall playoff lead. Bleed went 4-0, I went 3-1. It must not have been that tough of a weekend…lol.

    The Super Bowl, over/under, and maybe a couple of props will be posted on Wednesday. Have to give time for that Colts line to top out. I think it’ll hit 7, maybe 7.5.

  13. Damn, Han. And here I thought I was special.

    I actually really liked the Colts minus and the Vikes plus but I couldn’t get a wager in in time.

    Let me know when the SRM post is up.

  14. Chris

    How bad are things now getting between the Lightning ownership ? I thought that via Bettman’s decree the ownership had the _hit sorted out ? Now word comes down the pike that both Len Barrie and Koules are still at it like a bunch of rabid dogs !

    There’s now said to be a potential buyer of the franchise , which approximately worth $175 million .

    Courtesy of Bleacher Report

    Boston-Based Financier Could Purchase Lightning But Trade Vinny

    Since being drafted by the Tampa Bay Lightning in the 1998 NHL Entry draft, trade rumors have circled superstar Vincent Lecavalier throughout his career.

    It seems every single season his name was connected to rumors to teams in Canada or the Northeast, anywhere that could allegedly appreciate Lecavalier more than the ignorant hockey fans in Florida (even though most of the people living in the Tampa Bay area are from the Northeast, Midwest, and Canada, but I digress).

    However, if reports are true and Boston financier Jeffrey Vinik completes a $170 million purchase for the beleaguered hockey club, his first order of business is to cut payroll, which brings us back to the oft-rumored face of the franchise.

    He’s the team’s highest paid player, at $10 million a year, and an obvious choice to be moved first.

    ==========================

    Click on link to read in its
    entirety
    ==========================

    Potential buyer Jeff Vinick is Boston financier , said to be extremely wealthy. Hopefully if he buys the team , he’ll prove to be more successful than those pu__ies Len Barrie and Oren Koules . The Lightning’s present ownership are still behind on their payments that are due to be made the former owners.

    How f_cked up is the NHL and its hierarchy ?

    Missing In Action ………No This Isn’t One Of Chuck Norris’ Lame A_s Movies ……………….. Hello Tiger Meet Brett It Appears That The Two of You Have Something In Common ?

    This that completed piece on Tiger and Favre , should you want to revisit it ?

    🙂

    Alan Parkins

    🙂

  15. Al… you talking about hockey?

    I did catch some of the Lightning game at work tonight. Inept on the power play and then lose in overtime.

    They’re not gonna make the playoffs like that.

    That’s pretty much the extent of my hockey knowledge.

  16. Chris

    The whole Lightning organization is a joke from top to bottom. They still owe the Davidson family who they bought the team from
    … money. And Bill Davison’s widow doesn’t want to have the back in her hands.

    That’s how screwed Len Barrie and Oren Koules are ! In the bay are in terms of sport’s franchise , all we at present have are a bunch of scum-bags ! And that includes the Rays’ ownership. I dare not say what I think of the Glazers !

    Alan Parkins

  17. I think we can both agree that the Mavs are a paper tiger, Al. Until they can beat the big three in the West in the playoffs this year, I’m not convinced they’re actual contenders.

  18. Chris

    The only thing that Mark Cuban and the entire Mavs’ roster are capable of beating up on , are their own ‘peckers’ for self gratification. Beyond that they’re just a bunch of wimps !

    Spankin’ the monkey , spankin’ the monkey, spankin’ the monkey. Ooh , ahhhh ! Relief ! Words uttered by Mark Cuban to Dirk Nowitzki. In reply Dirk says…’I need help to get my own load and shot off ‘.

    Dropped this on the Pittsburgh Pirates.

    The Pirates Still Suck Pittsburgh Pirates That Is …. !

    Alan Parkins

  19. Chris

    Rumor has it that both the Nets< and Hornets will either throw in the towel or make a formal request to join the WNBA and make it a co-ed sporting endeavor.

    What with CPIII now being lost to the Hornets indefinitely. Do you think that they’ll start to stink up the joint even more so than they did before ?

    Alan Parkins

    🙂

  20. The Hornets are gonna have an even tougher time without Paul in the lineup, Al.

    That’s okay. The town is high on Super Bowl fever.

    Bourbon Street’ll be a mess to clean if they seal the deal Sunday.

  21. Pingback: Tuesday Roundup: Lots of Super Bowl Links, Of Course

  22. Justin should hold onto his single status for as long as humanly possible. I’m having a ball since embracing the single lifestyle. Being tied to just one woman can be extremely stressful.

  23. I’d be inclined to acknowledge with you here. Which is not something I typically do! I enjoy reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!

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