Weekly Caption Contest celebrates Tiger Woods, the Masters and sexting

What kind of sports website would we be if we didn’t celebrate Tiger Woods’ return to golf the right way… with a caption contest?

These last six months have undoubtedly been the most trying of young Eldrick’s life, so I figured why not pile on.  As more former lovers come out of the woodwork like rats off a sinking ship, Tiger fans (that still care) are left putting together the pieces of a sordid puzzle that denotes the sex scandal of the decade.

So readers, pretend you’re Elin and give Tiger your best shot, preferably with a witty caption this time instead of a nine iron.

Seen below, Tiger Woods is photographed standing by his golf clubs… texting.  Or should I say sexting?  I’ll let you be the judge.

This contest is one big meatball, folks.  Have fun!

56 thoughts on “Weekly Caption Contest celebrates Tiger Woods, the Masters and sexting

  1. “Come strong, people”, Rev?

    That’s what she said… and Tiger, too.

    Let’s see:

    1) “No baby, Amen Corner is on the golf course – but I like where your head’s at”

    2) “Whaddaya mean you don’t know what a golden shower is?”

  2. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin….

    If that’s the first contribution of many I expect, we could be in for a doozy.

    Earmuffs, people.

    Amen Corner…. Nice!

  3. Al chimes in with the first Jesse James reference.

    I’m surprised SNL or Mad TV hasn’t come up with a Tiger & Jesse School for Cheaters skit yet.

  4. we’re meant for eac other babe. . . You’re a woods hooker and I just hooked into the woods.

  5. Eeny meeny, miny, mo…which one of these b—–s will be my next ho?

  6. Beard…

    ‘Anal’ and ‘beard’ are two words I definitely don’t want to hear in the same sentence. Ouch!

    Besides, I think Tiger’s rich enough to afford a spellcheck on his texting options.

    Well, maybe he’s not anymore.


  7. Chris

    In this day and age how is it that James can get away with his bs on the side with him being an alleged Nazi sympathizer ? Apparently he and the skank he hooked up with have pictures of them dressed in the whole Nazi regalia and giving the old Zeig Heil salute ? Sandra Bullock may well feel devastated but I think that a lot of her fans within the Jewish and African American communities aren’t going to be at all pleased .

    Alan Parkins

  8. Chris


    I hear that there’s an open invitation for James to meet with some ‘bruthas in da hood’ to discuss his problems as with regards to race relations ? Do you think that there’ll be some sort of tutorial that will take place ?

    At the end of it all he’ll be given a test and then become someone’s rag doll .

    Alan Parkins

  9. Al… SportsChump is quite large in the African-American community so if your boy Jesse James needs a little help, I’m sure I could do so for a nominal fee.

  10. As a condition of keeping the AT & T sponsorship following his adultery fiasco, Tiger Woods is required to pretend to call someone after every third hole, to give television viewers the false impression that you can actually get cell reception in Augusta, Georgia.

  11. “My caddie sucks at cleaning my balls. Do you think you could help?”

  12. “Of course you know me well enough to sleep with me! I was the one in the corner booth. Yes, I had the short stack and the the chicken fried steak. Now do you remember me? Okay…good. Now, how abou I fly you down here and I make you the 19th hole?”

  13. Chris


    Well now that Jones had his rear end handed to him by B-Hop. What’s this ’bout him willing to fight anyone’s grandmother for the right price ? LOL,LOL,LOL, !!! Are things that bad for Roy up there in Pensacola ?

    John Ruiz is still fighting ? Does that mean he’s taking double doses of both Viagra and Calis before he gets into the ring. My countryman David Haye knocked his _ss out in their WBA heavyweight title fight last night in Manchester , England.

    Alan Parkins

  14. Bolt Backer… From what it sounds like, that’s a pretty high-paying position.

    Nice to see you here, man. Are you over the LT deal yet? Whoops! Didn’t mean to reopen a healing wound.

  15. Al… once again, we’re stuck in the same conversation.

    Last night’s bout, which I did not watch, is the best boxing has to offer?

    ‘Rocky III’ is more entertaining than the heavyweight division these days.

  16. Headline => “Booking a Fishing Charter so he could do some Master Baiting”

    Help this is in the realm of possibilities….

    This is Mel the Computer Repair Guy…Hope all is well…

  17. Chris

    I took the girlfriend out to the movies and came then on to a club. I wasn’t at all interested in either bout . Like I said in my piece Prison Bi_ch the sport is in a really bad shape. I’m more attuned now to MMA (UFC) than anything else .

    My two favorite fighters there are George ‘Rush’ St Pierre and Anderson Silva ! You should check it out some time you might even get to like it ?

    Alan Parkins

  18. Jeremy! You’re so right on with that cell reception in Augusta, GA, only it’s after you leave Augusta going to Savannah, miles and miles of NO SIGNAL!

    I think Tiger is calling his “sponsor,” like in AA, when you have a “sponsor.”lol

  19. This is an interesting picture. I’ve heard of it being done, but I didn’t know a women could actually suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

  20. I have watched some UFC, Al.

    And in my mind, it’s clearly overtaken boxing.

    But what I want to know is…. what Dundee club did you and your girl stumble upon?

  21. Chris

    That’s good as you now know how I roll ? LOL,LOL,LOL !!! Honey’s MMA > and sports though not all necessarily in that order on a given day.

    Remind me never to take a domestic flight anywhere within the continental US ! Especially if there happens to be a Browns’ player on board. Browns’ nose tackle forgot that he had a loaded weapon in his carry on luggage when he tried to board a flight this past weekend at Cleveland’s Hopkins Int’l Airport. I’m surprised that he didn’t realize that it’s against the law ? But then again he may well have tried to use the Arenas’ cop out ploy. I didn’t know that was the law ? ‘Guns don’t kill people, people kill people’.

    Next time around I hope that Rogers gets an in depth cavity search courtesy of the TSA ! LOL,LOL,LOL !!! No orifice should be left un-probed.

    How screwed are the players within the NFL and NBA ?

    Alan Parkins

  22. Chris

    Loved the fact that the Lakers enjoyed that beatdown courtesy of the Spurs ! The fans at the Staples Center actually ‘started to boo’ the Lakers’ team in the latter moments of the third and fourth quarters of the game. I guess when your butt gets handed to you in front of your home-town fans that’s all you should expect them to do isn’t it ?

    A crushing blow losing like that 100-81 . Ouch ! Artest’s defense is like a used feminine hygiene product. It absolutely stinks to high heaven ! They (fans) sorely miss Trevor Ariza but they’re too damn proud to admit it .

    Alan Parkins

  23. What… nobody’s going to run with Tiger’s comment at his press conference today where he says “He’s going to try to put the ball in the hole as best he can.”

  24. Al… the Lakers will be fine, until the second round of the playoffs. They’ll destroy Portland but after that will face some stiff competition.

    I can’t wait.

  25. Chris

    That may well be the case with the Lakers but that bench of theirs is nowhere good as advertised !

    Artest is being overpaid and hasn’t been that much of a difference to the the ‘team’.

    But these playoffs once they begin will become very intriguing. I like the fact that the Spurs will get Parker back quite possibly before the playoffs actually begin. The player himself stated that the broken hand has healed faster than the orthopedic surgeon had anticipated . And that’s a good thing.

    Alan Parkins

  26. Al… if the Spurs get Parker back, particularly with healthy legs, that’ll be a huge boost.

    The Nuggets do not want to play them in the first round.

  27. Al.. for me, nothing will top the two Florida wins of just a few years ago but that game kept fans on the edge of their seats until the very end.

  28. I’m laughing too much to think of something…Chris I’ll be back! 🙂 Haha These people are great on here

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