Chumpservations (am I infringing on a trademark here?): Mel Gibson, Louis CK, the All-Star Game and the Real World of the New Jersey Nyets

Man, things have been slow. Ever since Lebron-gate-athlon-palooza, the sports world has been boooooooring. Since I couldn’t pinpoint a topic that I wanted to write [enter large number] words about, I decided to make a list at my desk of some random things going on that I wanted to touch on. Feel free to chime in with comments on any of the topics covered as I’m curious to hear what your thoughts are.

1. Mel Gibson

So we all pretty much knew he was racist. But racist and crazy!? Okay, well we kind of knew that as well. But nothing can take the place of actual evidence. Four different recordings of the raving lunatic have surfaced and each one has been more hilarious than the next. And damn do I feel bad for his girlfriend. I mean sure, she’s a smoking hot Russian model and got to hang around movie stars and do whatever she wanted with Mel’s millions, but is it worth getting berated and abused every day? Probably not. But then again, she was only with him for a couple years, probably made out pretty well in the divorce and is still a Russian model (aka HOT). So at this point, she could solve the whole “super crazy bigot ex-husband” with a simple “300lb body guard” and chill at some tropical resort for the rest of her life. Luckily I am not a smoking hot Russian model with a crazy millionaire husband, so these are problems that I don’t have to worry about. I do, however, have to make a decision on what toothpaste to buy. I live a tough life.

2. MLB All Star Game

Blehhhhhh. I watched an inning before I got bored and watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Awesome movie by the way, I highly recommend it. Robert Downey Jr. is the man. See, Mel Gibson? If he can turn his life around, so can you (nah, just kidding). Anyway, back to the All Star Game. I felt bad for Joe Girardi. I can’t believe he was getting grilled for something so stupid. I mean, yeah, maybe he didn’t manage the game well, but it’s not his fault he has to play everyone (except A-Rod, HA!). This game has no business counting. It  should simply exist for the sake of the fans. Whitey Herzog once said, “The only thing bad about winning the pennant is that you have to manage the All-Star Game the next year. I’d rather go fishing for three days.” I agree completely.

3. The NJ Nets

Remember when the Nets were the next big thing? Now they’ve gone from having a chance at signing Lebron James to settling with overpaying Travis Outlaw and signing a bunch of other scrubs as well as hiring an epically bad GM. Prokorohov may be an outstanding businessman, but is it possible that being completely unfamiliar and foreign to the NBA could be detrimental to this team? I’ll wait and see how they perform next year and whether or not Derrick Favors pans out, but from the initial signs it’s not looking too hot. Don’t forget…they’re playing in Newark(!!!). Could be a rough two years.

4. The Real World

Chris has talked briefly about getting into reality TV. I’ve been an on-again-off-again fan of the Real World. I mainly just watch hoping to see the housemates get plastered and do stupid stuff. I watched last season because my cable was broken for most of the year in my room and the only things I could watch was “On Demand”. But I literally spent half the season fast forwarding because most of the characters were just plain awful. I watched the first two episodes of this new season in New Orleans because I was bored yesterday, and let’s just say I am pumped. All four of the girls are attractive, which I’m not sure has ever happened. They also have possibly the worst, most hate-able real world character in the history of the show. I know it’s early to say, but watch the first two episodes and tell me you don’t want to punch Ryan in the face. If you can resist, let’s just say I envy your restraint. One more TV note: You should start watching Louie. It’s every Tuesday at 11pm on FX. In my opinion (see: meaningless) Louis CK is the funniest stand up comedian in the country. The show is funny, but it’s also very well written and covers certain social issues that other shows wouldn’t be able to handle correctly. Start watching that and the Real World. I mean, come on. It’s the summer, what else are you doing?

18 thoughts on “Chumpservations (am I infringing on a trademark here?): Mel Gibson, Louis CK, the All-Star Game and the Real World of the New Jersey Nyets

  1. Good stuff as always, A.

    My thoughts…

    1) Really the only three Mel Gibson movies I ever care to watch, and that I’ll only slightly miss as I boycott his drunken, insane ass are Braveheart, the Payback and occasionally Ransom. Otherwise, his other stuff is garbage. You can have Mad Mel. Dude needs some serious therapy… and an ass-whoopin’.

    2) I didn’t get a chance to watch the All-Star Game as I was slinging cocktails that evening. Although had I had any sense, I definitely would have parlayed the National League with the under and it would have hit. Oh well, wagers never placed.

    3) The Nets will suck but it’s probably a drop in the bucket to Russian Mikey. This was an important post-season for him to make a splash and I don’t see where they made any progress, particularly with so many other teams getting stronger.

    4) I haven’t embarked on my reality TV experiment (can you tell I’m stalling? I really like my brain cells), but I do have most of the shows DVRed. And I do plan on watching Louie CK. He’s a dirty bastard. I’m curious to see how his comedy will translate to TV.

  2. Chris Humpherys

    I think it only right that a racially intolerant misogynistic bigot like Gibson be seen in his true light. Blaming his travails on alcohol is the act of a coward. It’s a pity that none of Oksana Grigorieva’s male siblings or cousins are here in the US that way they could kick his a_s all over the place.

    If that had been a sista or my sister on the end of that abuse Mel’s a_s would be six feet under already !

    Hip hip hooray for Limbaugh and loquacious and insensitive remarks yesterday concerning Steinbrenner and his death. I hope he meets Jeter , Poasada , Rivera , Cano and the rest of the Yankees’ roster in a dark alley somewhere !

    🙂

    Alan …………

    🙂

  3. No black chick would be caught dead with Mel, Al, particularly not after these latest tirades.

    Imagine if that had been a Puerto Rican women.

    We’d be mourning Gibson’s death right now, talking about what a great but misguided actor he used to be while mulling over his stab wounds.

  4. Mooney’s contributions to comedy are vast, Al.

    From Richard Pryor to Sanford & Son to Good Times to In Living Color to Chappelle, he’s boasted quite a resume.

    That being said, Louis CK is also funny as shit.

  5. If that had been a Puerto Rican woman and he tried to throw every expletive and dirty name at her, he probably would’ve gotten halfway through the first b—- or c— before waking up several hours later (if he ever woke up) and wondering what the hell happened.

    Americans are a forgiving people, but considering he already used up his mulligan, well…good luck to his crazy self.

    There’s a girl from my area on the new Real World. I’ve heard that a few Mississippi State folk are a little less than enthused about their school being represented in such a setting, but hey, it’s New Orleans, and it’s the Real World. Good, wholesome Southern belles need not apply.

  6. Eddie… wait a minute. YOU’RE NOT A PUERTO RICAN WOMAN?!?

    You’re right about Mel. He may have just cashed his last ticket.

    Look at Michael Richards. This guy went from being one of the most beloved characters on TV to an outcast after his N-bomb tirade… and appropriately so.

    I hear movie stars and studios won’t touch Gibson right now with a ten-foot pole.

    Maybe those two can star in an off-beat comedy where they play L.A. cops beating up on minorities. At least it’d give Rev. Jackson and Rush Limbaugh something to talk about.

  7. Did you see the All-star game had it’s worst ratings of all time since the nielson ratings came out!?! It was a boring game, and I don’t like that they have to play everyone. It would be much better to see them play to win it. I mean, with the game on the line Buck and Kinsler are supposed to keep me interested, PLEASE!

    I thought the Nets would make a bigger splash but I guess not… He’s making bad choices already. I do like Morrow, but not for as much as they signed the offer sheer to him for…

    Haven’t caught any of the real world in a couple seasons. I guess you just made me interested enough to check it out!

  8. Chap…

    Even as an adult, I have ALWAYS watched the All-Star Game. It traditionally fell on, or around, my birthday so I always cooked up some dogs, drank some cold beers and cracked open a bag of Doritos for the occasion. It’s the simple things in life.

    That night I had to work slingin’ drinks so I was unable to catch the game in its entirety.

    But I’ve been saying for years that baseball lost fans first by canceling the World Series and second by turning a blind eye to the steroid issue, both of which happened under Selig’s watch.

    Again, Jason Smith was right today when he said baseball lacks star power. For all those purists still hung up on the way the game SHOULD BE PLAYED, those same old farts are about to ensure nobody watches.

    Tell me ratings wouldn’t have been higher if Strasburg pitched an inning.

  9. Agree about Louie…very funny show. Drags at times, but the first four shows have delivered lots of laughs.

    You mean to tell me that spending $70 million on Petro, Farmar, Outlaw and Morrow in addition to bringing in one of the five worst GM’s in modern NBA history were bad moves? Are you sure?

    Thought the 6’8″ Russian was going to turn things around. I guess not…

  10. Drew…

    I think we all thought Prokhorov’s partnership with Jay-Z would attract some high-profile free agents.

    That has yet to happen.

    I’d feel sorry for Nets fans… if there were any.

  11. Chris

    A sista would’ve cut Mel’s cojones .

    TO has his own reality show still going on VH1 and now Ochocinco has his very own show where 85 women are looking to curry favor and find love . What Chad couldn’t afford to go the route of LT and find an underage teenager ?

    Mooney is one of my alltime favorites along with Pryor and Murphy before he went all family oriented a la Shrek and The Nutty Professor.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b80Ic2MWRrQ]

    🙂

    Alan ……. 🙂

  12. Yeah, I always at least watch some of it too! It’s kinda weird but when guys like Bonds, Clemens, and everyone else from that steroid era left it got slightly less interesting. The matchups just weren’t there. I think some of it has to do with all the guys that were picked deciding not to play in the game. If it counts for something don’t call it an exhibition, and force the best guys to go! I think that pitching rule two days before the game is lame. I understand they are protecting guys, but they throw side sessions that are more strenuous than one inning of work. I’m sure they could make sure the manager knows how many pitches their max is!

    I agree Stasberg would’ve made at least a few more people tune in!

  13. Another thing Smith mentioned yesterday, and I hate to keep bringing him up, is that in the 1941 All-Star Game, the last at-bats came down to Joe Dimaggio and Ted Williams.

    Who was the game decided by this year? Guys nobody’s ever heard of?

    I’m totally down with shrinking roster sizes and eliminating the need for every team to be represented.

    We need a new, young commissioner to come in and shake that sport up a bit.

    Kinda like a drinking game or something. For example, let’s allow the reigning MVP to take as much HGH as he can ingest for a month. Or have a HGH mole where one player on each roster is randomly selected to take HGH and the fans have to guess who he is by his sudden increase in offensive output.

    See? I have ideas. Call me, Bud.

  14. Hahaha, I guess you were into Smith yesterday!

    I like your solution though. Either juice these guys up a little or bring the walls in, so all the parks are like Arlington!

    I think Selig needs to understand we are in a new era of instant gratification, and baseball is still catching up to the 80’s!

    I heard this Colin Coward rant where he was talking about why we love football, and it’s because there’s defined rules that you clearly see, like offsides, there’s replay for missed calls, so everything is usually correct, and we end up getting the right winner.

  15. Chap…

    I just happened to being driving around in my car the other day when he was going on some good rants.

    And Selig is going to take his status quo/purist stance to the grave with him, which is nightly, since he’s the CryptKeeper after all.

    I think that Cowherd rant you’re thinking of is when he compares baseball’s all-star voting to college football, two things that drive fans mad because they’re imperfect. He said he hadn’t talked baseball all season long until people starting griping about who got left off the team. Same thing with the BCS. All we do is complain about the system but hey, they got us talking about it.

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