Charles Barkley to leave TNT for Phoenix Suns? A Dear Chuck letter

Dear Chuck,

As I sit here on my sofa writing this, you’re probably out at a casino, golf course or ritzy, all-you-can-eat buffet somewhere, having the time of your life.  But I have something other than cards, bunkers and food on my mind.

It’s no secret that you’re currently mulling over whether to leave the four-time Emmy award winning Inside the NBA for general managing pastures.  While this might be the right career move for you, I think I speak for basketball fans across America when I beg of you…  PLEASE DON’T GO!

When we heard the news that Steve Kerr had stepped down as GM of the Phoenix Suns, a nation of collective round ball addicts and TNT watchers shuddered, knowing you’d be a leading candidate to replace him, and thus leaving the greatest sports show on television in your wake.

Anyone that follows the NBA understands you have the burning desire to step into the front office to put together a championship team, earning that ring that eluded you as a player.  We also know that after playing in Phoenix, that town soon became your second home.  The Suns job seems the perfect fit.

But think of us for a second, Chuck, your people.  I know we should want what’s best for you but to paraphrase Colonel Jessup, we want you on that set, we NEED you on that set.

You have a style unlike any other we’ve ever seen in an analyst.  You are honest to a fault and comical in the process, something our coverage of the sport so desperately needs.  You were the first television personality I EVER heard tell an audience, prior to the broadcast, that there was no reason for us to watch that evening’s game because one of the teams outright sucked.  That goes against every rule of network self-promotion.  But we watched anyway, if only to hear you tell us how right you were all along.

How could we possibly go on without pearls of wisdom such as…

“We better not be doing the Bulls this year. Man, they suck! Bunch of high school kids with $70 million contracts. Damn! I hate my mother for having me too soon.”

or

“I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, ‘Yeah. I’m going to retire.’ They said, ‘Well, we’ll give you $9 million.’ And I said, ‘You got a pen on you?'”

or

“It’s kinda great to see the Celtics doin’ well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith’s house.”

Chuck, if you leave, TNT double-headers just won’t be the same.  The last thing any of us want is for you and the Jet to be replaced by the unintelligible shouting match that is Chris Webber and Gary Payton.  Save that for NBA TV.  We’ve come to expect better.

Tim Legler said it best.  Becoming a general manager requires a full-time commitment.  Right now the only thing you appear committed to is blackjack and Taco Bell…. and that’s okay.  That’s why we love you.  Nobody questions your eye for talent.  Most of us think you’ll be a fine GM.  We’re just being purely selfish.

Sir Charles, we wholeheartedly wish you the best in whichever path you choose but, for our sake, please consider signing a lifetime contract with Inside the NBA.  After all, you have your fans to think about.

Besides, being a GM isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Just ask Kevin McHale.

42 thoughts on “Charles Barkley to leave TNT for Phoenix Suns? A Dear Chuck letter

  1. And my personal favorite:

    Question: What do you call a power forward that gives you 15 pts/7 rebounds a game?

    Answer: A small forward.

  2. Yeah, I’m a selfish bastard too. I don’t want Sir Charles to go to Phoenix either. I enjoy him too much at TNT. I’ve got a good idea. Make TNT better by sending Ernie Johnson to the Suns.

  3. Chris

    You obviously don’t know Charles as he also likes to frequent the “ladies of the night”. I guess in Arizona the prices there are amenable as well ?

    Hopefully should he get stopped the cops there won’t ask him to produce ID to prove he’s a legal alien. That new law SB 1070 has got quite a few people running for the hills including probably 40% of the hospitality staff in the state of Arizona.

    So John Daly can play a round of golf when sober ? Whi actually knew ?
    Oompa !

    🙂

    Alan ………… 🙂

  4. Chris

    Has Charles’ estimated $60 million fortune dwindled that much where he now needs to work for Robert Sarver ? The Suns’ owner’s IQ is marginally above that of Paris Hilton’s.

    🙂

    Alan Parkins ……

    🙂

  5. Good points, Al, and it’s one that I hope Chuck’s well aware of.

    I think Commissioner Stern and Mr Sarver would probably frown on that sort of extra-curricular activity, not that TNT’s crazy about it either.

    It’s also kinda disturbing that Chuck would have to pay for it.

  6. Chris

    How can it be frowned upon when more than half the players in the NBA has some piece of tail on the side ?

    I mean we see Mr Kardashian and his new love Khloe and she’s wanting kids. But low and behold Lamar has two kids and some baby mama drama.

    So please get off that soap box of yours and calm down. It’s all part of the game. I mean even MJ __ Magic and Bird had their fair share of tail . And let’s not forget about Wilt “The Stilt”

    Keeping Up Appearances As Well As With The Jones’s………..And All Things Sporting

    🙂

    Alan ………… 🙂

  7. Chris

    It seems the whole world now wants to play for the Heat ? Lil’ Penny now says he’s prepared to come out of retirement and contribute to the team in any way that he can.

    Wait so let me get this straight Lil’ Penny wants to play but Latrell Sprewell can spend his time being part of a county prison crew picking up trash off the county highways ? Screw that !

    Where do I sign my jump shot is da’ bomb !

    🙂

    Alan ………….

    🙂

  8. Impossible to not like Chuck. I have a feeling if he ends up being a GM he will get fined a lot for saying stuff you just can’t say. Either about his own players or some kind of tampering conspiracy. I doubt we’ll ever see an annoucer that speaks his mind as much as him. TNT hit the jackpot when they hired him on!

  9. Chris

    TNT doesn’t mind their employees fraternizing just as long as they don’t get caught or there are pictures of them in a compromising position with a farm animal .

    ESPN on the other hand will let it go just as long as it doesn’t involve them having sex in the office or the parking lot. Someone should’ve reminded Steve Phillips of that.

    Is it me but is Erin Andrews running with this crap about her being photographed way too long ? Now she’s out to sue the hotel chains Marriott , Days In and Hilton Hotels for allegedly passing on her information to the guy who’d stalked and taped her. How the hell were they suppose to know who this guy was in the first place ? He passed himself off to them as an employee of ESPN each time he was in contact with each of the hotels where she’d stayed.

    She’s upping the ante in order to get a lucrative contract in light of all of the publicity she’s gotten. Way too much as far as I’m concerned !

    🙂

    🙂

    Alan ……..

  10. Hey Chris. Ernie Johnson is there to be the straight guy? I thought he was there to be the white guy.

  11. Al…

    There’s a difference between NBA players rolling from town to town and meeting different women and Charles soliciting a prostitute. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t remember that even happening.

    And Bird getting tail? Now that image is just friggin’ FUNNY!

  12. Good point, Chap.

    As much as Stern recognizes that he’s good for the league, he won’t hesitate to slap Chuck with fine after fine for opening his mouth too often.

  13. I’ll venture to say that the Round Mound is the most honest sportscaster EVER!

    If he ever leaves TNT he should go to CNN or MSNBC… they need a little help when it comes to telling the truth.

  14. Chris

    So you don’t remember Charles’ most recent run in with the law wherein TNT suspended him ? That was because of the traffic stop where he’d been caught speeding and when asked what the rush was he told the cop that the female at the time accompanying him in the vehicle had promised him oral sex back at his hotel .

    Only Charles could be that honest and sincere at the same time.

    🙂

    Alan ………

    🙂

  15. Al…

    I try to make it a habit not to follow the lifestyles of the fat, rich and horny, but as you suggest, perhaps we should commend Chuck on at least being honest about his escapades.

  16. Chris

    More satisfaction to be had out of Chuck than Paris Hilton’s exploits !

    Tiger finishes 27th at The British Open . OK so what’s next for El Tigre ?

    🙂

  17. Chris

    Bob Arum says that he doesn’t need Mayweather as much as Mayweather needs him . Who the hell is Arum kidding ? Pacquiao (his fighter) fighting anyone but “Money” is a joke to begin with !

    🙂

    Lindsay Lohan says that she’s found her happy place. Nothing like crack ho’ knowing where she’s welcomed and how to get there fast in sure shot !

    tophatal …… 🙂

  18. Al…

    If that fight doesn’t happen, boxing will lose even more fans than it already has.

    As we’ve talked about before, I wish professional boxing had ANY sort of organization whatsoever to force that fight to happen.

    That fact that it doesn’t might just mean the end of the sport.

  19. Al…

    I didn’t even realize the WSOP was going on right now. Another year for me, another 10 grand shy of entering.

    One day.

    But it’s just too tough these days for the pros to compete with the online entrants.

  20. Chris

    Let me ask you this if you’re owed money wouldn’t you want to be paid back in a timely and reasonable manner ?

    Then how is it that current Texas Rangers’ owner Tom Hicks doesn’t seem to understand that he can’t disseminate or tell his creditors how much and when he’s going to pay them back ?

    The club is over $170 million in debt but he doesn’t want the club to be sold for less than his valuation of $500 million. Based on the debt amassed on other obligations with the accrued debt and other obligations he’ll be lucky to come out even.

    While this is all happening Selig remains ominously silent. Never mind the fact that there could be as many s 5 or 6 other clubs in similar financial mess within the league at present.

    🙂

    tophatal …………..

    🙂

  21. Chris

    We all know that MLB has never cared about anyone but themselves and the teams . The players just like the owners couldn’t give crap about anyone to begin with !

    Myer and Foley have a lot to be answerable for concerning Maurkice Pouncey. They can’t any longer hide behind the veil of the fact that they didn’t know what was happening . It’s their duty to know that’s why there are compliance officers and an athletic director to begin with to monitor the players.

    Too many trite excuses all-round and typically the idiot fans try to excuse the behavior !

    🙂

    tophatal ……….

    🙂

  22. Chris

    We all know that this happens up and down collegiate athletics and as such the NCAA are either powerless or in some cases they’ll choose to turn a blind eye ’til some real malfeasance comes to light.

    So the Rays’ front office are interested in acquiring the Phillies __ Jayson Werth ? If anything that should add some “pop” to an at times inconsistent offense.

    Courtesy of ESPN …. Jayson Stark

    Phillies seek pitcher, shop OF Werth

    There were indications Tuesday the Philadelphia Phillies were working on a major deal to acquire a starting pitcher in an attempt to save a season that has veered in the wrong direction this month.

    The Phillies will need a starting pitcher for Saturday, since they sent Monday’s starter Kyle Kendrick back to the minor leagues on Tuesday. Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr., who is with the club in St. Louis, hinted strongly to reporters that the Phillies could acquire a pitcher from outside the organization to make that start.

    The club might also need a starter for Sunday now, as well, because the tentative pitcher that day, Jamie Moyer, left his start Tuesday after one inning with what was described as a left elbow strain.

    At the same time, they were also discussing a companion trade that would move outfielder Jayson Werth to free up money, open a spot for top prospect Domonic Brown and replenish their prospect supply. The Phillies have talked to multiple teams about Werth, but a source indicated Tuesday night that Tampa Bay appears to head the list of interested teams.

    Amaro said Tuesday night the club was “not close” to completing any deal, but he declined to comment about other details of ESPN.com’s report.

    On the pitching front, the Phillies have discussed deals involving a number of starters. They’ve talked about Arizona’s Dan Haren, Baltimore’s Jeremy Guthrie and Oakland’s Ben Sheets, among others. But there were indications they’ve spent a lot of time in recent days exploring a trade for Astros ace Roy Oswalt.

    ==================================
    To read in its entirety click on link.
    ====================================

    Anyone going after Roy Oswalt is crazy he’s too banged up and he’s damaged goods to begin with . Plus he’s owed in excess of $20 million including an option yer.

    🙂

    tophatal ….. 🙂

  23. I hadn’t heard the Werth rumors, Al, or at least not to Tampa Bay.

    To be honest, I’m not sure they need to tinker with that lineup.

    They’re scoring as much as anyone in the league and actually lead the Majors in run differential.

  24. Chris

    What worries concerning the Rays is when they go into one of their prolonged offensive slumps . They can’t seem to find a hit then .

    🙂

    tophatal ………. 🙂

  25. They’ve weathered the storm, Al. They just need to keep the Sox at bay.

    And with the Sox looking like the walking wounded, the Rays should be just fine.

    Maybe.

  26. Dear CHARLES, My dear friend! What ever you set your mind too do, you can do.I know if you decide to except the GM job here in Phoenix,you will bring a championship team to the valley. Charles my dear friend, good luck to you what ever you decide to do….Charles get back at me with love!

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