I know just enough about the internet to make me dangerous but I still can’t help but wonder… what the hell is spam and where does it come from?
My inbox and comments section are flooded on the regular. And for what? Spam serves no purpose other than to piss us off. It is the internet’s equivalent of cockroaches or keying another person’s car.
Even though WordPress has a spam filter to block out solicitors, webmaster Eddie G and I still waste precious hours weeding out emails for designer handbags, bankruptcy lawyers and magical penis enlargers, fortunately none of which we need.
Here we are spending millions of dollars trying to determine whether Barry Bonds lied to a grand jury while spam runs rampant through our airwaves. Isn’t it about time we reassess our priorities?
Spam affects us way more than any home run hitters’ drug allegations. Isn’t the time and money we’re dedicating to the Bonds trial better spent on eradicating spam and its various sources or is wishing for both of them to just go away an exercise in futility?
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
An old friend once told me that the eventual success of an athlete could always be found in his name. Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Babe Ruth, Cassius Clay. These are names that scream sports royalty.
Spencer Whipple does not.
Without getting into the whole “What were his parents thinking” argument, it’s hard to imagine a guy named Whipple doing anything other than selling bathroom tissue.
Whipple, now a senior at the University of Miami, was reportedly challenging Jacory Harris for the starting quarterback position but lost ground during spring practice. No reports as to whether his name had anything to do with it.
Bernie Kosar, Jim Kelly, Vinny Testaverde. THESE are the names of successful University of Miami quarterbacks. Whipple doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of man. Either way, whether it’s Jacory or Whipple taking snaps this fall, Hurricane fans are hoping they can improve upon last year’s 7-6 record, whether their quarterback has a funny name or not.
I was born in New York City. Even though most New Yorkers don’t even drive, we were still magically born with the innate ability to parallel park. I didn’t start driving until later in life but parallel parking was always a cinch.
It’s all about the spacing, people.
For those of you who need assistance – and you might not know who you are – drive past the space you plan on parking in, turn on your blinkers to notify the vehicles behind you, then put your car in reverse and turn the steering wheel accordingly.
This should take one attempt, two max. It’s really quite simple.
That being said, there is absolutely nothing more enjoyable than watching a driver incorrectly pull forward into a parking space, then repeatedly fumble his way around, stopping traffic behind him, until his car is still unevenly parallel with the curb. It’s even more enjoyable when it’s a guy who has a date in his passenger seat he’s trying to impress.
You can literally see his chances of getting to third base decrease with each awkward turn. Unless, of course, his date can’t parallel park either. Then she probably finds it charming.
I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDA
I finally saw The Fighter. Good movie. Definitely worth the price of admission… or rental, whichever floats your butterfly.
For whatever reason, boxing movies pound for pound (pun intended) are the easiest to turn into a box office hit. Look at the amount of quality boxing movies that have been put out over the years: Rocky, Raging Bull, Cinderella Man, The Fighter, Requiem for a Heavyweight, Million Dollar Baby, all of them about underdog boxers who overcome all odds. Heck, even Diggstown was better than most of the droll football, baseball or basketball movies that have been made.
Sure, every once in a while, a movie will come out based on one of the three major sports that’s worth watching, but the list of horrendously unwatchable movies on these sports reads like a Siskel & Ebert wet dream: The Replacements, Varsity Blues, Eddie, Coach Carter, The Scout, The Rookie… need I continue?
The Natural, Hoosiers and The Longest Yard all obviously rank, but do production companies really expect us to buy Keanu Reeves and Adam Sandler as NFL quarterbacks?
I guess when it’s all said and done, we still have a soft spot in our heart for the underdog. Fortunately many of those stories still come in the form of quality entertainment.