It simply would not be a summer without Brett Favre talk. The former Falcon-slash-Packer-slash-Jet-slash-Viking is the gift that keeps on giving, the ultimate cure for writer’s block.
According to some television station in Philadelphia, probably looking to make a name for itself, the Eagles are gunslingingly interested in signing the perpetual retiree. As soon as I saw that report flash across my television screen, my eyes lit up with joy.
The tractor jokes. The Wrangler references. Once they were lost but now they are found.
There’s literally nothing that can’t be said about Brett Favre these days that we wouldn’t find believable. Favre’s backing up Michael Vick in Philadelphia and signs for the league minimum. Done. Favre beats him out for the starting spot. Also done. Green Bay signs him to a one-day contract so he can retire a Packer. Why wouldn’t they? Favre’s return is a secret ploy by the commissioner to help repair his image after a summer-long lockout. A peace offering if you will. Favre’s running on the Republican Presidential ticket in 2012. The only way they stand a shot at returning to the Oval Office.
All perfectly reasonable possibilities.
In fact, I propose that we all secretly yearn for yet another, teary-eyed Brett Favre press conference where he does his best “I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack.” We want him on that wall, we need him on that wall. Note: back-to-back Jack Nicholson references are perfectly appropriate since both he and Favre are nearly the same age.
Come on, people, Favre is a helluva lot more fun to talk about than “collective bargaining agreements” and “labor disputes,” so let’s not roll our eyeballs just yet.
Even if none of this is true, at least it’s comical to discuss. It’s time to give in, America. Favre is with us and always will be, like a bad itch that just won’t go away.