Snapshots of the apologetically jailed: A celebration of the University of Miami

“The University of Miami, as an institution of higher learning, is a leader in exploration, achievement and excellence and we will work hard to do our part to live up to that standard.”

– UM athletic director Shawn Eichorst

My mother always taught me not to kick a man while he’s down.

Today, I disregard her advice.  Here’s hoping she doesn’t mind.  Plus it’s the University of Miami, so who gives a shit.

Upon hearing the news that one of Tampa’s premiere high school football coaches was allegedly linked to Nevin Shapiro and the University of Miami scandal, I scoured the web to find out more.

Suffice to say Plant High’s Coach Robert Weiner won’t be the only name dragged through the mud as the investigation continues.  Plenty more ugliness will surface which once again reminds us a) how the NCAA has absolutely no control over its universities or college athletes b) how much money is actually involved in college football and c) the extent some people will go to win.

But enough about Miami.  They’ll get theirs if the NCAA has any cojones at all… which means Miami probably won’t get theirs.

Upon reading about the “Weiner allegations,” I stumbled upon some mug shots of recently arrested Hillsborough County residents, who obviously weren’t too happy about being taken downtown, not that anyone ever is.

So, to honor the sinking ship that is the University of Miami’s football program, I hereby present the Nevin Shapiro honorary mugshot reel.

Remember, readers.  Always obey the law.  And if you’re a high profile college athlete, please have enough sense to avoid getting your picture taken with hookers on some shady character’s boat.  In fact, it’s probably best to avoid shady characters and hookers altogether.  If you do get caught, try not to let the mascara run.

*All photos courtesy of jailpaper.com and wtsp.com and surprisingly not UniversityofMiami.com

Mom is gonna be SO pissed when she finds out I totaled her Prius.

 

 You can almost hear the whimpering.

 

Nobody likes to see a grown man cry…. Except in this picture, which is pretty damn funny.

 

 Obviously mourning the loss of her comb

 

How can a balding woman have so much hair?

 

I’m just gonna let you guys go ahead and come up with a caption to this one.

 

How many Rush albums do you think this guy owns?

 

At least the jumpsuit matches her hair.

 

You’d think being Alanis Morrisette’s dad would count for something.  No way they would have taken this guy in if Jagged Little Pill were still on the charts.

 

All I want for bail is my two front teeth

 

Here’s hoping I am never THIS &#%@ed up

 

This guy is so trashed, they needed to hold his head up for the photo.  Any resemblance to Edgerring James is clearly coincidental.

 

Sorry but since we’re talking Miami and crying, I just couldn’t resist.

25 thoughts on “Snapshots of the apologetically jailed: A celebration of the University of Miami

  1. Those are some sorry blokes… How many frequent the Soho district???

    Then there are the ones that walk… Pryor is essentially walking. Newton walked, I guess. Will Miami walk? Ohio State? USC sure as hell didn’t…

  2. Dwin…

    Not sure too many of them could afford to hang in SoHo, except for Morrisette’s dad. He’s probably still living off of royalties.

    And Miami probably won’t skate, but they probably won’t get what they deserve either.

  3. I guess it kinda depends what your getting arrested for, but the two times I went to jail I didn’t shed a tear. Maybe I did and just don’t remember the blacked out night before… Funny pictures either way!

  4. Is there such a thing as an episode of “Cops” that wasn’t filmed in Florida? Maybe if the cops down there disn’t spend so much time on the crackheads they could deal with women who kill their kids…

    Too soon?

  5. Plant football coach Robert Weiner is a gem ! WTSP’s Mike Deeson really loves him a great deal .

    Eichorst’s predecessor Kirby Hocutt who’s now the AD at Texas Tech stated at no time during his tenure was there a time that he witnessed any wrongdoing by a Canes’ athlete or anyone on the football or coaching staff . Then again didn’t Al Golden say ” some mistakes were made “ ……

    Donna Shalala will be running across the campus of Miami butt naked as a way of taking the students’ minds off the controversy . .

    Does this also mean that Drew Rosenhaus will be keeping a low profile from now on when he visits the school as several of his clients are embroiled in this mess ?

    Pats’ player Vince Wilfork when questioned answered ……… ” I’ve got nothing to say ” !

    Miami was never a school of higher learning it was simply a myth to begin with !

    tophatal …………….

  6. Al…

    I guess that all depends on one’s definition of ‘wrongdoing,’ no?

    I mean, I know I’VE never done anything wrong but others might disagree with me.

  7. Chris

    Does cheatin’ on the ex count ?

    Why is it that Selig simply has to do nothing to literally ##$s people off ? Because of his inaction , the pending sale of the Astros to Jim Crane could be upended . Jim Crane is said to be ready to withdraw his $ 680 million bid for the team . Apparently the commish’ is said to be unhappy with one or two details of the deal ?

    And here’s me wondering how he (Selig) allowed McCourt to purchase the Dodgers with all of his financial problems at the time !

    For Christ’s sake can we get someone with an ounce of god damn common sense to take over the role as commissioner ? That’s not too much to ask is it ?

    If Curiosity Killed The Cat Then Who Led The Cat There In The First Place ….. ?

    Bud Selg Puts The Emphasis On The Letter “D” In The Word “Dumb” …….. !

    tophatal …….

  8. “c) the extent some people will go to win.” ~~~ To my knowledge they have not won shit in the last 10 years.

    Dude, Miami is as clean as a Columbian kilo! Little Madoff sitting in jail, trying to stir the pot.

    Yahoo went overboard on this one. They claim 72 players involved over the last 8 years. They presented actual evidence against 12 players, all at least five years ago… when Dirty Larry Coker was still coach.

    Having a picture taken with a booster is not a violation. Having a dinner bought by a booster is not a violation. Phone calls or texts from a booster… not a violation.

    The unsubstantiated word of a convicted felon doesn’t carry a lot of weight in a legal proceeding.

    I’m sure the Canes had their hands in the cookie jar, just like every other program, but Yahoo did little more than a hatchet job.

  9. Dearest apologist Han…

    UM’s going down and they’re going down hard. It’s okay, you still have your Gamecocks.

    And you’re right. They’d vacate wins, if UM had any recent wins to vacate.

  10. Football players accused of taking cash, jewelry, meals, and nightclub outings….. sounds like the same things that thousands of college co-eds do every night. lol

  11. Anthony Weiner has a brother who coaches?

    Either way, stepping on one’s own self is some funny stuff in Weinerville.

    Hillbilly Hanahan laughed his ass off when the Buckeyes went up in flames. Most of it was “I cannut wait to be bustin some nuts over this stuff” when he read the first OSU story. He beat that dead horse like her name was Beverly. We took his toothless rants with the utmost dignity and a shear understanding of the hillbilly code of ballbreaking. Hattfields & McCoys. It’s on hillbilly man. LOL

    I wrote a blog which depicted the tattoo parlor guy in Columbus as the sorry sap dropping dimes to save his own incarserated ass and Hanahan told me that I was full of dootie.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA…..it was a plausable theory, wasn’t it Hillbilly?

    I also told Hanny that all schools cheat, laugh at the Buckeyes for getting busted and just wait cause da U ain’t a friggin monastary.

  12. The funniest part of Rev’s blog? He unknowingly posted 6 mugshots which happen to be Hanahan family members. 3rd from the end is Gene’s brother Herbie Haddock.

  13. “but Yahoo did little more than a hatchet job”

    Did you see the haircut Gene gave his brother Herbie? (3rd from the end in Rev’s photo montage)

    He knows a “hatchet job” when he see’s one.

  14. Chris

    The day Selig steps down can’t come around soon enough as far as I’m concerned !

    Let me ask you this should Paul Dee recuse himself from any decision rendered against M Miami he’ll be presiding over any decision levied against the school ? You do realize he chairs the NCAA’s Infractions Committee ? And as a former AD of Miami his overall judgment will be clouded albeit he sits on an empaneled board .

    I can see it being a conflict of interest and I can tell you this that USC’s AD Pat Haden would have a valid reason to challenge Dee presiding over any hearing wherein chairman has a vote and decision in making against the school . Especially if it’s a case where the punishment levied against Miami isn’t seen as fitting in comparison to the violations committed .

    tophatal ………..

  15. Speaking of Weinerville, FtC, check out my latest post on Charlie Furbush.

    The two go hand in hand.

    It’s getting nice and nasty between Han and Crank here. Do you two need to get a room?

  16. Here’s my take, Al.

    The NCAA is lenient on schools like USC, Ohio State and Miami because they’re its cash cows.

    What does vacating wins mean anyway? That’s the most ludicrous punishment ever.

    USC won those ball games. Reggie Bush was the best player in college football. Anybody that watched those games knows that, so what’s the point?

    Suspending UM or Ohio State or USC from televised games or bowl games or whatever means less money for the NCAA and we both know that’s what they’re all about.

  17. I’ve been handcuffed, shackled, and put into “transport” to be locked up a few times, but I didn’t cry. Not counting the tears in my eyes when a bug attacked my face through the window…

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