I consider myself to be a fairly competent person. I know my limitations, that there are certain things I can and cannot do. For example, I can’t hang a ceiling fan. In fact, I can’t really fix anything. But I can cook. I’m an independent thinker. And I can (sometimes) form a complete sentence.
For the life of me, however, I can’t seem to slip on a t-shirt after putting on deodorant without getting white powdery stripes all along the side of my shirt. No matter how hard I try, no matter how careful I am, I pull my t-shirt over my head and voila… my shirt smells baby powder fresh. Can such a simple task really be all that difficult for someone who holds a Master’s degree? It appears so.
Friends have suggested I put my t-shirt on first and apply the deodorant afterwards, but I refuse to give in. There has to be a way to properly put a shirt over one’s head without looking like I’ve gone ten rounds with a stick of Ban roll-on.
In the end, I guess it’s a double-edged sword. When people see me walking down the street in all my Speed Stick glory, they obviously think I’m incapable of properly putting on deodorant… but at least they know I don’t smell.
I was driving around town the other day when this giant Marilyn Monroe banner caught my eye. As I approached the larger-than-life Norma Jean, I saw it was actually her likeness on a huge rug, being sold on the side of the road.
I don’t know if you have these things where you live but they are all over the place in Florida: random businesspeople selling tiger-print, leopard-spotted, Aztec-patterned and velvety Elvis carpets right off the side of the highway. I have no idea how much such room decor costs. I’ve never bothered to pull over and ask, partially for fear of who I might meet selling these things and partially because I know they might rope me into buying some James Brown rug that would really tie my room together.
It got me wondering though. Who, in their right mind, would buy a zebra-print rug, unless they were trying to decorate some frat house or brothel? Who owns these things and how do these businesses possibly survive? Wouldn’t a good day at the shop be selling just one rug? I would think in a depressed economy, leopard-print carpets are the first thing to be eliminated from one’s budget.