Dennis Rodman speaks to the youth of today and other horrific ideas perpetrated by the publishing industry

I read somewhere that Dennis Rodman is putting out a children’s book.  More power to him.

I’m not necessarily saying that the Madonna-tutored, ex-bad boy, who once traveled the nation with his own bartender, dyed his hair every different color of the rainbow and kicked an NBA cameraman in the groin on live television ISN’T the least likely of candidates to speak to America’s youth.  I’m just saying if I were a parent, I probably wouldn’t bring my four-year old to the book signing, unless of course, it was open bar.

Rodman getting in touch with his inner child inspired me to think of the least likely book titles we’d ever see.

Fasten your seatbelts and if you’re easily offended, please turn away.

Gambling is Bad by Michael Jordan

The Perfect Golf Swing by Charles Barkley

Decision-Making 101 by Dwight Howard

How to Hit for Power by the Tampa Bay Rays

Sexcapades by Tim Tebow

The Art of Passing by Carmelo Anthony

Staying Faithful to Your School: An Urban Meyer/Nick Saban Collaboration

How to Build an NFL Fan base by the City of Los Angeles

Abstinence by Kim Kardashian

Proper Poker Table Behavior by Phil Hellmuth

The Art of Not Fumbling by Adrian Peterson

Monogamy by Tiger Woods

Driving in the City by Jason Kidd

Keys to Sustaining Long-term Fame by Jeremy Lin; foreword by Vanilla Ice

Turning Right by NASCAR

Surefire Techniques in Successful Sports Management by Don King and Bob Arum

Body by Andy Reid

Frugality by the Steinbrenners

Free Throw Shooting by Shaquille O’Neal

Showering Alone by Jerry Sandusky

Winning in the SEC by Vanderbilt

Winning in the Post-Season by Tony Romo

Silence is Golden by Rex Ryan

Long Term Arm Health by Stephen Strasburg

Living A Profanity-Free Lifestyle by Ozzie Guillen

27 thoughts on “Dennis Rodman speaks to the youth of today and other horrific ideas perpetrated by the publishing industry

  1. Pingback: Dennis Rodman speaks to the youth of today and other horrific ideas perpetrated by the publishing industry - BallHyped, NBA | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  2. I’m glad for Dennis. I hope he can make a little money and find peace.
    Thanks for the grin brother and have a great weekend. Cheers!

  3. Glad you enjoyed, Aer.

    I don’t know that I’m necessarily glad for Dennis. Was he hurting for cash or something.

    I mean, he didn’t go all MC Hammer on us, did he?

  4. How can I have any empathy for a guy , when told he owed $175,00 in child support, and that his ex wife had been evicted from her home . His response was ……… what about me ?

    Rodman became self destructive and uses his infamy and schtick to curry favor .

    Calling all fans , calling all fans

    How to win friends and influence people, and not necessarily be liked

    Obama has advice on the Tebow/ Sanchez budding controversy of dual quarterbacks ? Nice , I suppose the economy takes a back seat to his thoughts the Jets’ issues and filling out his NCAA brackets ?

    How asinine is that the NFL and referees’ association (NFLRA) are still bickering over renegotiation of their collective bargaining agreement ?

    Replacement officials could be used in this weekend’s Hall of Fame game . Now consider if that hold true for the NFL regular season ? Then what ? Still feel Goodell is a great NFL commissioner ?

    tophatal ………

  5. Isn’t Kim Kardashian penning her own little ditty about her 72 days of marriage to Kris Humphries entitled ………. Ballin’ with the best of ‘em how my took a turn for the worst .

    Rays are making life interesting in the AL East don’t you think and the wildcard standings now makes you want to pick up a good suspense thriller .

    Who kidnapped Cal Ripken’s mother and why ? The kidnappers abandoned their hostage when she told them none of Cal’s memorabilia is kept in her home .

    So Money Mayweather is out of jail . Next stop calling on either Dr Drew to help him get out of his funk . Apparently Mayweather’s lawyer and business partner tried to suggest his client was suffering from clinical depression . So that’s what earning $200 million can do for you when you can’t sit down and count it or blow anywhere between $80 to $100 k in strip club by makin’ it rain can ? Oh the shock of it all ! LOL,LOL,LOL !!!

    tophatal ………..

  6. Andy Murray is asking the IOC for a special dispensation when he faces Federer in the Men’s Singles Finals of the Olympic competition . Federer has to play blindfolded and weighted down by a ball chain weighing a quarter of ton .

    Murray couldn’t beat Club Fed at Wimbledon and I don’t expect him to do it again at the same venue under a different set of circumstances .

    B J and Justin Upton on the day hit the 100th homers of their professional career.

    Brett Favre is now a high school football coach ? Your thoughts ?

  7. Chris

    The NFL preseason kicks off with the Hall of Fame Game between the Saints and Cardinals on Sunday . But the event will have replacement referees officiating the game . If that happens then you simply know what’ll happen in the regular season don’t you ?

    At present the league in still in ongoing negotiations with the NFRA (referees’ union) about a long-term contract. Remember the NFL’s negotiations with the Players’ Union (NFLPA) and that how that idiotic mess ended ?

    tophatal ..

  8. Bleed…

    Doesn’t Karl Malone have his fair share of children too?

    Ah, Shawn Kemp. His poor kids must be fighting him for food at the dinner table.

  9. Al…

    I heard that Obama line about the potential ‘quarterback controversy’ in New York. Don’t get me wrong, I like the guy, but it seems like every reporter and their mother has to ask the POTUS some asinine question about sports where he has the potential to put his foot in his mouth.

    Leave that convo to the sports bloggers, prez.

    Besides, doesn’t he know by picking on Tebow, he’s also picking a fight with the big man upstairs?

    And the whole replacement official thing in the NFL is ludicrous, Al. Pay these guys already. You’ve gone to extensive lengths (allegedly) to ensure the health of your players. Your officials play a huge role in that and now you’re going to have lingerie league officials on the field?

    Makes perfect sense.

  10. Mayweather’s out of jail, Al. So now what.

    The interest in that Pacquiao-Mayweather fight has clearly waned and will not draw what it once would, just as we thought.

    Hey, if I wanna watch a bunch of washed-up, has-beens fight, I’ll purchase the next Screech-Jose Canseco bout.

  11. Al…

    Murray can’t beat anyone, except for Roddick, and that doesn’t really count.

    Nice accomplishment by BJ, becoming I believe, only the 8th player to amass 100 HRs and 200 SBs by his 28th birthday.

    Or did I read that wrong yesterday.

  12. Chris

    The NFL is a goddamn mess ! Anyone who believes that Goodell has this sport heading in the right direction they’re crazy . Just because there’s billions coming into the NFL’s coffers what use it when their image is so tarnished .

    Now that Emmert has rendered his verdict on PSU ……… why no verdict as of yet on the Miami Hurricanes’ program ? Like I said in my piece Mark Emmert is disingenuous as the NCAA President .

    Jeter’s relative finishes second in the women’s 100m Finals .

    Costas has toned down his act on the Olympic coverage but we still have to put up with Seacrest.

    Bazza is offering his advice on Tebow and Sanchez but he’s got two of the dumbest sh##heads going in Tim Geithner and Ben Bernanke fu##ing up the economy with their idiocy .

    If Bazza can’t rein in those two , as well as Reid and Pelosi then what chance does the country have ?

    Great accomplishment by the Upton brothers .

    I hear PBS will be bringing their show Antiques Roadshow to Marlins Ballpark as well Citizens Ballpark as both teams cast off their antiques

    Things seem to be looking up for the Bucs but until we see what they’re made of in the preseason we still won’t know what we’re getting .

    How to win friends and influence people, and not necessarily be liked

    tophatal ……

    tophatal ………

  13. Al….

    Like most everyone in the area, I’m looking forward with great, yet realistic, expectations from this young Bucs team.

    Here’s hoping they turn some heads.

    After all, we know the NFC South is always up for grab, don’t we?

  14. The Rays, Al, I just don’t know what to say.

    This team just can’t hit.

    They come back from a stellar road trip, take the first one against Baltimore, then can’t so much as score a run in their next two games.

    They ruined a beautiful outing by David Price yesterday. If I were him, and the rest of that pitching staff for that matter, I’d be livid.

    I’m a fan and I’m livid.

  15. Dee Dee…

    I stand corrected. I didn’t see the match so I’m not exactly sure what got into Murray but he beat Federer like a red-headed Swede.

    Good for him to finally win a match of some import on his own soil.

  16. You sure about that, Jed?

    If that’s the case, then why haven’t more women, heck, ANY women, come out and say they’ve been in bed with baby Jesus?

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