Dennis Rodman speaks to the youth of today and other horrific ideas perpetrated by the publishing industry
August 3rd, 2012 by Chris Humpherys
I read somewhere that Dennis Rodman is putting out a children’s book. More power to him.
I’m not necessarily saying that the Madonna-tutored, ex-bad boy, who once traveled the nation with his own bartender, dyed his hair every different color of the rainbow and kicked an NBA cameraman in the groin on live television ISN’T the least likely of candidates to speak to America’s youth. I’m just saying if I were a parent, I probably wouldn’t bring my four-year old to the book signing, unless of course, it was open bar.
Rodman getting in touch with his inner child inspired me to think of the least likely book titles we’d ever see.
Fasten your seatbelts and if you’re easily offended, please turn away.
Gambling is Bad by Michael Jordan
The Perfect Golf Swing by Charles Barkley
Decision-Making 101 by Dwight Howard
How to Hit for Power by the Tampa Bay Rays
Sexcapades by Tim Tebow
The Art of Passing by Carmelo Anthony
Staying Faithful to Your School: An Urban Meyer/Nick Saban Collaboration
How to Build an NFL Fan base by the City of Los Angeles
Abstinence by Kim Kardashian
Proper Poker Table Behavior by Phil Hellmuth
The Art of Not Fumbling by Adrian Peterson
Monogamy by Tiger Woods
Driving in the City by Jason Kidd
Keys to Sustaining Long-term Fame by Jeremy Lin; foreword by Vanilla Ice
Turning Right by NASCAR
Surefire Techniques in Successful Sports Management by Don King and Bob Arum
Body by Andy Reid
Frugality by the Steinbrenners
Free Throw Shooting by Shaquille O’Neal
Showering Alone by Jerry Sandusky
Winning in the SEC by Vanderbilt
Winning in the Post-Season by Tony Romo
Silence is Golden by Rex Ryan
Long Term Arm Health by Stephen Strasburg
Living A Profanity-Free Lifestyle by Ozzie Guillen