10 – Their team is better than yours at pretty much everything.
9 – Courtside tickets to home games cost more than you make in a month.
8 – Ron Artest still plays for them under perhaps the most, inappropriate pseudonym ever.
7 – Jack and Dyan.
6 – Over the past forty years, they are the most successful team in terms of overall winning percentage in professional sports. It’s true, do the math.
5 – They got Mark Madsen and Isaiah Rider a ring but couldn’t get one for Gary Payton and Karl Malone.
4 – Steve Nash will reach 10,000 career assists in a Lakers uniform this season and then pass Magic Johnson for fourth all-time a few weeks after that. One of those assists will be to either Kobe or Dwight. He’ll celebrate by placing his bangs behind his ears.
3 – Laker fans have never, not for one minute, known an ounce of suffering. (Sorry, Bleed, Dub and JM, but you know it’s true.)
2 – Players from those 1980s championship teams STILL don’t have to buy a drink in that town.
1 – Oh yeah…. Dwight friggin’ Howard.