The throwing of the golf club: An exercise in tamed aggression

I’m a brat.

I’m a 44 going on 45-year old man but still, I’m a brat.  Or at least I have brattish tendencies.

Let us all turn to the third hole at Heritage Isle to demonstrate why.  After shooting a cool par on the first hole, then disgracefully double-bogeying the second, I stepped to the third tee box in an effort to erase the mistakes I had made on the previous hole.

SmailsThat didn’t happen.

I quickly shanked my drive far right out of bounds, into somebody’s backyard, that dimply little golf ball never to be seen again, by me at least.  I shrugged it off, still somewhat miffed.

I took my penalty stroke, dropped a new ball, pulled out my trusty 6-iron and hoped to finish the hole as painlessly as possible.

That didn’t happen either.

My club face left open, combined with a perfectly flawed swing, sent another brand new golf ball wide right again, nowhere near the flagstick and deep into the woods.

I had had enough.

I threw my club like an Olympian throws a shot put, just with far worse temperament.  My playing partner later joked that the club traveled farther than the ball.  He was wise to wait two holes before saying that.

An odd thing happened, however, after the embarrassing and certainly juvenile, club-throwing incident.  I started playing better.  Not only had I started that round rather miserably (minus the initial par) but my last two rounds had been hack-a-licious as well.  The club-throwing, however, had suddenly exorcised forty plus holes of shitty golf.  I went on to play well the rest of that round.  The club toss, combined with a cold Jack and Coke and a mild cigar from the pro shop, had settled my nerves.

Tiger throws clubOn the professional tour, of course, such behavior is frowned upon but even the best golfers in the world aren’t immune to showing their emotions, whether it is Tiger cursing up a storm or kicking a club at last year’s Masters or Brandt Snedeker wanting to snap his club in two after an errant approach cost him contention this year.

We’ve all been there.  We just don’t resort to throwing our clubs.

Well, some of us don’t.

I have a friend, a fellow hacker, who once tossed his putter into a tree after recording an eight, ironically on that very same hole at Heritage Isle.  Good times.  He’s since quit the game and is now taking anger management classes.  He seems more even keel now, more in tune with his emotions.

I wonder if heading back out to the golf course would fix all that.

24 thoughts on “The throwing of the golf club: An exercise in tamed aggression

  1. Pingback: The throwing of the golf club: An exercise in tamed aggression - BallHyped Blog Network, Golf | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  2. No your not.
    I’ve known you 44-45 years … in fact I probably (& proudly) hold the record for knowing you the longest. 🙂
    And you are NOT a brat.
    Never were.
    Ok- I will read the rest of the post now… just had to correct the record sir.
    M

  3. It is the one time where you become human and all one’s frailties are exposed .

    Byron Scott you will not pass go and you not collect that $2 million bonus .

    Tophatal ……………….

  4. Al…

    If by ‘frailties’ you mean having to go to Wal-Mart to buy another box of golf balls after every round, then yes, you’d be correct, sir.

  5. Chris,

    It’s suppose to be a ‘gentlemen’s game’ You’re forgiven. I can understand the rage. “Ground ball to Buckner….”. Wanna buy an air conditioned Sony TV?

  6. I was on the high school golf team (lettered 2 years running!). One of my friends and teammates (small school… grew up with all the guys on the team… and knew their parents, where they went to church, who their aunts and uncles and cousins were… You know, small town stuff…), anyway, he got so mad as we were driving from an elevated tee, across a small river to a par 4 fairway on the opposite side, when he topped two consecutive tee shots and KERPLUNK! SPLASH! both were down in that fast running water… Someone snickered to which he grabbed up his golf bag, strode down to the river, flipped the bag over and shook and dumped out every single one of his nice, expensive golf clubs into that brimming with cold spring run-off water river… He was yelling every conceivable word we had been schooled over and over to never say in public and then red-eyed, stormed off the course… The rest of our foursome decided to try and save his clubs but it was impossible without getting right down in the water to do so and although we were all friends with Steve, the guy who lost his temper, none of us were going to make the supreme sacrifice. As we let other groups play through and contemplated what to do, Steve came back. He took off his golf shoes, pulled out his wallet and ended up having to fully submerge in that frigid water to retrieve his golfing tools, all the while with a big crowd of hooting golfers not really offering encouragement… The last time I saw Steve I asked him if he’d ever dumped his clubs like that again and he assured me he hadn’t! I think he learned his lesson…

  7. Chris

    It’s always good to have another box of balls somewhere . Or better yet, simply have the old lady wax and shine your balls for you .

    I see the NBA coaching merry go round is about to begin ? Doug Collins re-signs from the Sixers and is now likely to replace Rod Thorn in the front office as the team’s general manager .


    Byron Scott
    is still wishing he were back in a Lakers’ uniform . The Cavs have sucked the life out of the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland , Ohio . Bron , Bron ain’t going back there anytime soon to play for the franchise but he may well return to have team owner Dan Gilbert , kneel down, grovel , and then kiss his (LBJ) @ss , as well as have Gilbert make an attempt to kiss his own @ss.

    Joe Dumars shows Lawrence Franks the door and then tells him ….. ” don’t let the door hit you in the @ss on the way out “ after the Pistons’ disastrous season . Let’s hope that team owner Tom Gores has “the balls'” to now fire Dumars’ @ss after his disastrous handling of the franchise as its general manager over the past five seasons .

    Other than the Bobcats , Hornets and Magic has there been a worst team than the Pistons that has played that badly this past season ?

    What just happens to be the Rays’ motto at the moment ? Win one , lose one , win one , lose one ? Inconsistency has been the Rays’ consistency this season .

    The Bucs’ schedule for the upcoming season will be formally announced on Friday , I believe . Any of the games on their schedule that you find intriguing or that you’ll somehow attend at the Ray J ?

    With the draft coming up , it will be interesting to see the type of personnel …. decisions that will be made by Schiano and Dominik jointly , in comparison to last season and those of the previous regimen .

    Buccaneers’ news

    According to the analysis provided , the thought process is , these are the Bucs’ area of need or should one say needs ?

    Tophatal ……………….

  8. Bets…

    I grew up a Sox fan. In fact, I was living outside of Boston, attending Tufts University my freshman year watching Game Six in my dorm room.

    That was bad. After 2004 and 2007 though, we can laugh about it… sort of.

    Or at least watching that high(low)light isn’t quite as painful.

  9. Al…

    That Collins thing was a done deal when a) he lost his desire to coach that team and b) his players stopped trying. Weren’t the Sixers a playoff team at one point?

    It’s no surprise that other coaches are gone as well but let me ask you, when are some of these GMs going to take accountability for fielding shitty teams? I mean, what’s it take to get Dumars fired already.

    Oh and what’s your guess on what the Bucs do on Draft Day?

  10. Chris

    Accountability from a general manager in the NBA ? That’s like asking how Omar Minaya and now Sandy Alderson have now been allowed to ruin the Mets , but yet , their fans remain optimistic that the team can be competitive .

    I’m still trying to figure out how Tom Gores still has Dumars as an employee . Gores is a billionaire venture capitalist , who has invested in companies and seen exceptional returns on those investments . He’s pumped millions into buying the Pistons , and since the purchase that franchise has literally sucked !

    Alderson at one time, was a great general manager , not so much now . And we’re now seeing how f##king bad the Padres remain with Minaya as a consultant , as the team is stinking up the NL West as well as the rest of baseball .

    The Bucs have to address the issues on their defense as well as getting themselves another wide receiver .

    Beyond that though , what the hell is happening to the sports’ franchises in the greater Tampa area ? The Lightning at present are truly bad hockey team . And the Rays simply want to make you give up wanting to watch baseball .

    Tophatal …………………

  11. You are a club-thrower and you sent me a book by Bobby Knight, who was a chair-thrower.

    I suspect a theme here…

  12. Chris

    Let me pose this question , Browns’ owner , Jimmy Haslam and his family are now under investigation by the Feds as their transportation company has been under surveillance for some time concerning racketeering , tax evasion and grand larceny . How is it that the NFL granted the sale of the franchise , having not fully investigated his background and business dealings ? One more reason that Goodell has to go in spite of the denials that there has been no wrongdoing on the part of anyone within family and that it will not affect how he conducts the operations of the Browns .

    See link below and read with intent and then let me know what you think ?

    Truck Stop Business of Browns Owner Faces Investigation

    After Jimmy Haslam bought the Cleveland Browns in the summer, he stood in the middle of a field at his very first practice, wearing a Browns T-shirt and shorts, a promising sign that the franchise — one of the N.F.L.’s most storied, but long lagging while in the hands-off control of the former owner Randy Lerner — would finally have the attention and enthusiasm of the person in charge.

    On Monday, however, it became clear that Haslam, who paid more than $1 billion for the Browns and only a few days ago sold the minority stake he had held in the Pittsburgh Steelers, has much bigger concerns than which players the Browns will select in next week’s draft. Agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Internal Revenue Service raided and locked down the headquarters of Pilot Flying J, the family business of truck stops and convenience stores run by Haslam, on Monday afternoon in Knoxville, Tenn., as part of a continuing investigation.

    “It will take some time for us to finish what we’re doing,” Marshall Stone, the spokesman for the F.B.I. office in Knoxville, said, declining to provide further details.

    The scene Monday, according to what a Pilot Flying J employee told The Knoxville News Sentinel, involved a few dozen federal and local law enforcement officials, some wearing bulletproof vests, swiftly moving through the three office buildings on the corporate campus. They were verifying employees’ identifies and job titles, instructing them to turn off their computers and cellphones, and telling some to stay while sending others home.

    Haslam, 59, told reporters Tuesday that the investigation was related to rebates that customers complained had not been properly paid. “It does not involve any tax issues,” he said.

    Documents were seized by the authorities during the search; Haslam said he did not know specifically which ones. He added that although he had not been subpoenaed, some members of the company’s sales staff had been. He also said that he planned to be in Cleveland on Thursday and Friday to prepare for the draft and apologized because “the last thing we ever want to do is put any blemish on Cleveland or the Browns.”

    In a statement given to reporters Tuesday in the form of a Q. and A., the company acknowledged that multiple search warrants were served Monday. The statement also said the investigation appeared to center on the application of rebates to what the company said was a small number of trucking company customers. The company statement said that, to their knowledge, no company executives were targets. And it seemed to raise the question of whether the raid could be politically motivated; Haslam’s brother Bill, the former president of the company, is the governor of

    ===============================

    Click on link to read in full .

    =============================

    What happens should a few million dollars just happens to go missing from the Browns’ finances ? It’s the same f##king idiocy that took place with Frank McCourt when he ran and was ruining the Dodgers .

    Here is simply another reason why Goodell’s dumb @ss should be relieved of his current position as the NFL commissioner . He has been a frigging failure from the very first day he held that office as the highest ranking executive in the NFL . It’s not what he has knowledge in terms of the NFL but the fact that he was Paul Tagliabue’s pet poodle and had lips stuck firmly to Tagliabue’s @ss ..

    Tophatal …………..

  13. Al…

    Do you think Dumars gets booed when he goes out in public? I mean, what has that team done to make itself any better over the past five years?

    And you’re right about the teams in the Tampa Bay area. The Rays are off to a rough start, the promising Lightning had themselves a horrible season and the Bucs are in limbo. Which will be the next of these three to make the playoffs and how long will that be? Inquiring minds want to know.

  14. Al…

    That story sounded just like the McCourt deal. I agree with you that professional sports leagues should pay closer attention to who they’re letting into their tight-knit group of owners but let’s be honest, how many of those in the billionaire boys clubs didn’t attain their fortunes by jumping through a few loopholes?

  15. Chris

    There isn’t enough intelligence in the Tampa Bay area when it comes to sports’ franchise ownership groups within the locale . But yet the anal retentive print and television media continue to kiss their @ss , because they themselves , simply have no goddam idea what the ##ck they’re talking about , much less have anyone with the intelligence to cover that specific area succinctly enough , never mind the actual lack of insight shown by the fans within the area .

    The Glazers remain a joke as it relates to the Bucs , as they spend more of their time devoted to their “cash cow” Manchester United .

    Meanwhile Jeff Vinick (Lightning) and Stuart Sternberg flaunt their alleged business acumen when considered , it might be barely above the IQ of Paris Hilton .

    When Jimmy Haslam bought the Browns , the investigation by the FBI and Justice Department was ongoing and all it would have taken would be for Jeff Pash , the NFL’s Chief Legal Counsel to advise Roger Goodell to place a “stay ” on the sale or the league itself take over the franchise , rather than this current goddamn fu#king idiocy at present !

    Goodell has been nothing more than a goddamn fu##ing moron with his edicts , and his ongoing stupidity has to be seen, to be believed . And there were fans who believed , that this guy showed insight as to the issues concerning the NFL ? How so ? Roger Goodell , were he to defecate or have an act flatulence , it would likely cause him to have a cerebral aneurysm .

    If interested let me know what you think of the following ? One piece concerns boxing and two famed fighters from the past , Joe Louis and Jack Johnson and the other covers the NBA postseason .

    I know you’re behind on your reading , so as and when you’re ready .

    My ball, my game , my rules , let’s play ball NBA piece

    Don’t blame me for what an ancestor did , that was then , this is now Boxing piece

    Tophatal ……………..

  16. Al…

    We agree on the Glazers but disagree on Rays ownership. They’ve done nothing but consistently put together a contender at one-third of the price, something this market demands.

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