Old guys spend a lot of their time naked. If you’ve ever visited a South Florida nursing home or your local YMCA, you’d know that.
I’m an old guy, officially one year older this weekend. I’m not as old as Gary Player but my putter still works and I too enjoy getting naked in random places, just not in the locker room of my local Y.
ESPN the Magazine (yes, they still make magazines, woe is your neighborhood newsstand attendant) is only fifteen years old. They celebrate nakedness annually in their Body Issue.
The Body Issue first came out in 2009 with Serena Williams (yum!) on the cover. Please excuse my drool. Since then, ESPN has featured Carl Edwards, Adrian Peterson, Dwight Howard, Gina Carano, Lolo Jones, Manny Pacquiao and countless other professional athletes who make most of our bodies, or at least mine, look rotund.
This year, ESPN the Rag continued its cutting edge issue with pictures of an old guy: Gary Player. The only problem is the old guy looks pretty fucking good. He’s a scratch golfer, a three time Masters champion and has less of a pot belly than most of us. How is that fair?
Gary Player was one of the first professional golfers to incorporate workouts into his training regimen. He maintains them to this day. Player proudly disrobed for the photo shoot which is causing quite a stir. As if the other featured pro athletes don’t put us all to shame, Player does so at the ripe old age of 77.
To honor his old bones and flat stomach, I thought I’d host a caption contest. Seen below, the naked Player is holding an oversized golf ball Atlas-style over his head. The reader who submits the best caption below will win their very own SportsChump t-shirt, which is only appropriate since Player could definitely use one to cover up.