I’m sorry, people.
I’m just having too much fun with this whole Twitter thing.
When someone told me Florida State quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston was cited for shoplifting crab legs out of a Tallahassee Publix, I immediately turned to the social media outlet to see what people had to say. After all, what kind of Florida alum would I be if I wasn’t able to poke fun at one of our biggest rivals?
The Winston incident finally gave Twitter addicts (Hi, my name is Christopher and I’m a Twitterholic) a break from talking about Donald Sterling but it clearly didn’t stop their creativity.
Ladies and gentlemen, here are some of the top Tweets about yet another poor college athlete who obviously didn’t have enough to eat.
Jameis Winston woke up in a crabby mood.
Who do I need to contact to apply for the position of following Jameis Winston and making sure he doesn’t do stupid shit
Jameis Winston getting caught stealing crab legs makes me question his breakaway speed. Couldn’t out run a grocery store clerk?
For a measly $16.99 Jameis Winston could have eaten all you can eat crab legs from Red Lobster. Come on, man!
Jameis WINSTON got suspended for stealing crab legs from a grocery store. That has to be the blackest thing to get in trouble for.
Genuinely disgusted with Jameis Winston’s behaviour, how anyone could do that to Publix is unforgivable.
It’s time to ™ the slogan “I got Crabs from Jameis Winston” for t-shirt purposes
Jameis Winston stealing those crablegs was a very shellfish act. He didn’t think about the conchequences.
The real crime would be if Jameis Winston forgot the garlic butter. #FSU
Jameis Winston got a 30 dollar fine for stealing crab legs, now he’s gotta find a way to steal 30 dollars.
Tallahassee PD claiming the crab legs went back to Jameis Winston’s house consensually
What Jameis Winston’s Failure To Keep Kosher Means For The 2015 NFL Draft:
Breaking news: Adam Silver has banned Jameis Winston for life at Publix supermarkets..
Jameis Winston was cited for shoplifting $32 worth of crab legs. Ironically, he’d be in even more trouble if a booster bought them for him.
Donald Sterling said to be confused as to why Jameis Winston would steal crab legs and not fried chicken.
Tallahassee Police are discrediting the story that Jameis Winston stole crab legs…they said he only raped the crab.
Jameis Winston will appear on the covers of both EA Sports “NCAA Football ’14″ AND “Grand Theft Crustacean.”
Jameis Winston. National championship MVP, crab enthusiast.
I have new doubts about Jameis Winston’s judgment. If I’m a Heisman Trophy winner and I’m stealing seafood, I’m stealing lump crabmeat.
I admire fine seafood police work. Also, the phrases “21 Lump Meat” and “Claw and Order” are the best things I’ve ever heard.
Publix: Where shoplifting is a pleasure
If Steve Spurrier doesn’t take this opportunity to call FSU “Free Seafood University,” I will be EXTREMELY disappointed.
SethMeyers: FLA [ST] Heisman QB Jameis Winston was arrested for stealing supermarket crab legs. He was spotted running out the door sideways.
“I fought the claw and the claw won” was sent in by one of my readers and yes, an Alabama super market took a shot at Jameis by adding his name to their own seafood selection.