Alysia Montaño gives new meaning to bouncing baby boy

gatorade babyOkay, this is just weird.

I was at work the other day, looked up at the television to see a pregnant woman running track.

Have you seen this?

I had to do a double take.  I mean, I’ve heard of working late into one’s pregnancy to make ends meet but this woman is in full-on track gear (the numbers outstretched around her expansive belly) and she was running an 800-yard dash EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT!!!

Shake the baby!  Shake the baby!

You know that baby’s in there, hitting the damn snooze button with his little baby hands, screaming “MA, C’MON!  I GOT ONE MORE MONTH!” while his mom is just trotting along merrily without a care in the world but that finish line.

Alysia Montaño is from Queens, New York, which means one thing.  She’s tough.  When her doctor gave her the thumbs up, that was all she needed.

Serious Kudos to Mama Montaño!

USATF Outdoor Championships - Day 2Here’s the thing though.  800 yards is no stroll in the park.  Let’s say for example, I lined up against her in a race to the finish line.  Sure, I could take her off the blocks looking back at her and sticking out my tongue but after a while, the massive and consistent liquor consumption not to mention fair amount of cigar smoking I partake in would probably get the best of me.  I’d start to wheeze and peter off around the five or six hundredth meter.  Meanwhile, here comes Montaño gleefully rounding that turn.  Keep in mind she’s running for two now.  I guess I shouldn’t have talked so much trash to her at the beginning of the race.  I knew asking her if she could hear the fat lady sing was a bad idea.

I’m not saying there’s any disgrace in losing a long distance race to a professionally trained athlete who just happens to be pregnant.  Let’s just say, however, if all my friends were there watching and I lost that race, I’d probably never hear the end of it.

Before all of you (and you know who you are) retort with the dreadfully trite “A woman could never beat me at any sport” nonsense, keep in mind 800 yards is eight football fields, gentlemen.  And after I lose to her, I’ll be sitting in the stands, plunking quarters into my oxygen machine, cheering her on so I can openly make fun of you in return.  Then we’ll both go grab a smoke and a drink.

Either way, I’m just happy to report I’m not pregnant.  Or having to run 800 yards.

Once again, congratulations to Mrs. Montaño for doing something not only nobody thought was possible but for doing something nobody had ever even thought to do.

15 thoughts on “Alysia Montaño gives new meaning to bouncing baby boy

  1. I dunno Chris. You seem to have a special interest in this gal. Anything going on between u 2? Seriously, I really dug this line, “the massive and consistent liquor consumption not to mention fair amount of cigar smoking I partake in would probably get the best of me”. Kinda hit home.

  2. I am not the father, Bets.

    Maury confirmed.

    Not sure an Olympian such as herself would approve of the kind of competitive behavior I choose to partake in on a regular basis.

  3. Which is more pertinent ? Fifty years of the civil rights’ act or the twenty-fifth anniversary of the seminal movie ” Do The Right Thing ” ?

  4. Interesting that those two coincide, Al.

    Let’s just say that Lee’s film is a fantastic representation of filmmaking that stems from the movement as a whole.

  5. That film may well define Lee’s career as a movie maker .

    Your thoughts on Larry Drew’s ouster from the Bucks , with Jason Kidd apparently making overtures for the coaching position even before Drew had been fired by the franchise ? An NBA franchise gets caught doing that and they are penalized by the league . Yet , the league hierarchy allows Kidd to go unpunished . More hypocrisy from another Stern disciple and a merely a carrying on of that executive’s asinine tenure of incompetency during his latter years .

    .
    Sad loss
    for Team USA who were outplayed in their contest against Belgium . It should tell you something when US goalkeeper Tim Howard had to make sixteen saves , with ten of them coming in the second half of the contest . The scorer of the US goal , Julian Green , is from the Tampa Bay area .

  6. Just for the record … I didn’t do that with you. ha ha ha

    It exhausts me just thinking about it! But good for her … guess of the Dr sez its ok??? But pls don’t do that with our granbabies? :O

  7. Al…

    I think Jason Kidd and Milwaukee are made for each other.

    And yea, tough ending for Team USA considering they had opportunities to win that ball game.

    Did you by any chance happen to see the television ratings for that game? Pretty impressive.

  8. Dude, I can’t even run 800 yards with a bottle of water in my hand, let alone a kid in my belly.

    The whole thing just makes me tired, thinking about it.

    I’m going to go sit down and have a beer. Want one?

  9. Hey, you’re the bartender… it’s whatever you want it to come with. I’m just sitting at the edge playing the role of Norm and waiting to be served.

  10. KP…

    I’ll be sure to scream your name as you walk into the bar.

    Assuming all the women in the joint already wouldn’t.

    (Ssshhh, the wife didn’t hear that.)

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