Patriots, Pressers and Perfectly Pitched Pouts: New England coach goes Belisheed on his way to Cincinnati

One of the most underrated and commonly forgotten press conferences of all time is Rasheed Wallace’s “Both Teams Played Hard.”  It falls slightly short of Allen Iverson’s “We Talkin’ ‘Bout Practice” but then again, what doesn’t?

Back in 2003, Rasheed Wallace’s Portland Trailblazers were coming off a playoff victory although you’d never know it by his stewy reaction to the line of questioning thrown his way.  Despite the win, his team was on the verge of elimination.  It was a series they would eventually lose.  In that instant, Sheed, who was always truculent with the media, gave us a moment that will forever live in press conference history.  He was later fined $30,000 for his behavior.  Apparently David Stern didn’t share his sense of humor.

After a tough Patriots loss this week, Bill Belichick channeled his inner Sheed by repeatedly answering media personnel with the one-liner “We’re on to Cincinnati.”  God bless them both for their controlled impatience.  These moody cats would make for sparkling dinner conversation.

Look, I get that reporters ask dumb things that warrant such responses and I don’t fault them for it.  They’re just doing their job.  There are times in my life when I don’t want to be bothered with stupidity either.  Fortunately, I’m a patient man.  I can only imagine what those in the spotlight feel.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love these pressers.  If it weren’t for the media’s inane line of questioning, we would be robbed of these precious moments.  How often do we get to reminisce about Rasheed Wallace and both teams playing hard?  The New England media and Bill Belichick made that happen.  For that, I thank them.

You can tell Belichick just hates these press conferences with every inch of his being, an unfortunate aspect of the job for many.  His sourpuss is as genuine as Iverson’s or Rasheed’s or Mike Gundy’s or Mike Singletary’s and of course we can’t let Denny Green off the hook.

Most of these unforgettable moments came after losses and that’s something the Patriots have been doing a lot lately.  While those inside that locker room will tell you their coach has a great sense of humor, no one in Foxboro is laughing right now.

Tom BradyTheir team is not good.

They have an aging supermodel quarterback who has nobody to throw the ball to.  Their usually impressive offense is nothing short of offensive.  They rank 29th in the NFL in yards per game.  Only Tampa Bay, Oakland and Jacksonville are worse.  That’s not exactly elite company.  They’re also 19th in the league in points allowed.  How do you spell mediocrity?  P-A-T-R-I-O-T-S.  As a general rule, not scoring and not keeping your opponent from scoring fail to coincide with winning records the Patriots are accustomed to.

Fortunately they play in a pretty mediocre division in which they’re currently in third place.  As the Patriots lose, the Bills, Jets and Dolphins lose along with them so all is not entirely lost.  Yet.

The Patriots have won the AFC East ten out of the last eleven seasons.  They probably will again in 2014.  We’ll find that out in a few more weeks.  If they don’t, at least we’ll have some entertaining Bill Belichick conferences to look forward to.

23 thoughts on “Patriots, Pressers and Perfectly Pitched Pouts: New England coach goes Belisheed on his way to Cincinnati

  1. Bless his heart… Show me someone who likes losing and I’ll show you a loser…

    I’ve got to say that I’ve enjoyed watching the New England Patriots over the years and part of that is due to Bill Belichick and his handling of the vaunted sports media. During the season he has to stand up there on a weekly basis and let these subhuman members of the lemming clan ask questions. It’s part of his job but he certainly doesn’t have to like it. Just look at his eyes. He despises those trolls. Bill just handles the chore and gets ‘er done in his own unsmiling, uncompromising way…

    Bill Belichick makes the personnel calls for the Pats and just maybe he’s slipping a little, especially when you consider he now has a much older, immobile QB who requires protection and a running game (check out the Cowboys’ change of fortune). He spent so many of his top draft picks trying to improve the defense, evidently betting the good ‘ol boys on the offensive line, even though they were getting old too, would just be happy to stick around playing for peanuts and now the piper has come to call. As a result, Tom Brady’s career is being fast-forwarded to retirement without that cherished 4th ring… So I’ll end with yet another cliche’…

    This could get ugly…

  2. Speaking as a diehard Patriots’ fan the coaching staff of the Patriots have been aimlessly heading nowhere over the past five seasons . Josh McDaniels (offensive coordinator) remains an oaf , Matt Patricia (defensive coordinator) has his lips firmly pressed against Belichick’s sphincter that he cannot come up with an original idea of his own concerning the defense . Bill Belichick remains a conceited SOB whose sole passion now seems to be , is to remain condescending when having to deal with the press when they question his judgment .

    Brady at times seems disinterested and the offense labors under the weight of expectation when all they have to do is simply play hard . This weekend will be a true test for the Pats when they go up against Andy Dalton and the Bengals and it could turn ugly for New England . Calls for Jimmy Garappolo are already being heard but I don’t believe he’s ready to take over from Tom Brady .

    The Orioles looked bad last night in their game against the Tigers . Do you think KP is a little worried ?

    Don’t look now but Dorothy is having fun in Kansas , as the Royals turn over the Angels . Damn !

    On another note , you asked in my piece , what else needs to be known concerning the NFL and their latest woes ? How about the fact, that there have been at least 50 incidents concerning player indiscretions concerning domestic violence and other felonious assaults in the past five years where the league hasn’t severely reprimanded or punished a player . Interesting article on the subject within USA Today .

    tophatal ……….

  3. I don’t want to say things have passed them by. It’s clearly to early to make that assessment. The panic button doesn’t need to be pressed but they’re at least looking at it.

    As I mentioned in the post, they should still win that division. But what about when it comes to the playoffs? When December comes, will they have all their ducks in a row to take down some of the more talented AFC teams on their way to a Super Bowl?

    At this point, it’s certainly not looking that way.

  4. Al…

    Let me ask you this. Do you think the Patriots would ever consider getting rid of Brady? I’m not sure what his contract status is, whether he’s locked up til his final days there or not but would they part ways if they considered it in their best interest or will they go down with him on their ship?

  5. Remiss with regard to the Orioles’ game as I misread the result !

    Brady looked bad in the loss against the Chiefs , but so too did the rest of the team . The real issue I believe is the fact many of the players the team acquired during the off-season as well as the constant tinkering with the defense hasn’t helped . The Patriots have not had a top five defense since 2007 . Before that , 2006 and prior, it was eons ago .

    The Cowboys’ head coach Jason Garrett categorically made the statement , any player on the team’s roster would not be allowed to play , if they were involved in any type of domestic violence issue or criminal act . Now comes word , CJ Spillman is at the center of a probe concerning a sexual assault . The franchise is said to be backing the player pending an investigation . Given the fact Jerry Jones himself is on the wrong end of a sexual misconduct allegation , I believe the Cowboys are going to take another PR hit if this mess goes downhill.

  6. The New England Patriots will likely win the AFC East given the mediocrity we have seen from within the division over the past five years . Belichick will take the team into the postseason but how far they go , will be based upon the determination shown by the team. Given what I have seen from them this season , I am not holding out much hope they can actually make a deep playoff run .

  7. I haven’t read the particulars in the Spillman case but the league needs to come up with a blanket policy. If any one of their players breaks the law, they’re ineligible to play until the charges are resolved.

    I’m really interested in seeing how the Players Union will react to any new such legislation. I can’t see them taking this sitting down even if it’s for the betterment of the league and its image.

  8. Chris

    If you’re waiting on DeMaurice Smith (Executive Director of the NFLPA) and the union to do anything constructive , then you’re in a for frigging long wait . Those morons sold their souls to the Devil in order to get a larger slice of the revenue pie when they negotiated away part of their rights concerning a policy on player conduct . Smith bit#hes and whines , but he acted in conjunction after the vote taken by the union’s executive committee.

    The Spillman case in essence is likely to become a ” he said , she said ” situation . I mean , look at the case of Darren Sharper . If the rumors are to be believed , he was sexually assaulting a number of his alleged victims at the time, his NFL career was said to be winding down . Makes you wonder why no one caught on or why none of the so called victims never stepped forward concerning those assaults .

    If you thought that the situation in Atlanta had come to a close (Danny Ferry and Bruce Levenson mess concerning the Atlanta Hawks) then consider the fact the city Mayor Kasim Reed is petitioning the league to force a sale of the Atlanta Hawks even though Michael Gearon (former syndicate partner) bought Bruce Levenson’s majority stake in the NBA franchise . NBA Commissioner Adam Silver has not only met with Reed, but also with the current Hawks’ ownership group to discuss the matter . Do I hear a bid of $ 500 million ? I think not !

    Clippers’ owner Steve Ballmer states he wants the Los Angeles Clippers to become America’s Team in terms of it being a popular NBA franchise . What is it with this bull$hit and being America’s Team ? The Cowboys haven’t been relevant as an NFL franchise in years , albeit , they are one of the most profitable sports’ franchises in North America . Needless to say the New York Yankees are now on the downside of what has been a great decade and half for the organization .

    tophatal …………

  9. The NFL’s image can be likened to that of seeing a naked old female suffering from dementia completely lost and unaware of her surroundings . Not a pretty sight . Goodell and the league hierarchy remain completely clueless .

  10. Chris

    Since when has the union been proactive about anything other than protecting their members’ best interests when they are accused of a criminal act ? DeMaurice Smith has been no better than his predecessor, another @sshole , Gene Upshaw .

    New England are struggling , Belichick and his staff are putting on a brave face on the matter . Let me pose this question , do you actually believe Darrelle Revis has been an upgrade over Aqib Talib at the corner-back position ? Revis is old and past his sell by date .

  11. Chris ‘

    So we’re already beginning to see the ineptitude of the prosecution in the pre-trial motion of the Aaron Hernandez case , as a judge throws out the evidence gathered from the player’s home . Who is conducting the investigation by the police , members of the Keystone Cops ? Has there yet been a sighting of Mark Furhmann, who will undoubtedly tell us where law enforcement might well have gone wrong . The DA’s office in the presiding county and the State Attorney General’s Office in Massachusetts has to be ran by morons .

  12. I saw the press conference and, as usual when The Hoodie comes off as a jerk, was reminded of the 60 Minutes segment I saw on Billy where he was portrayed as a human being who did not have such awkward contempt for questioners. He was portrayed as a kindly family man with a hobby of being a war /battle buff. Real war, not just what the NFL portrays as war. That segment, orchestrated as it was, had me letting my guard diown for awhile that I could excuse his boorish behavior to the media and fans…and even opponents. But the “we’re on to Cincinnati” presser made me wish nothing for him but yet another humiliating defeat on national tv. Go Bengals.

  13. Chris

    If the rumors are to believed , what do you think about Jon Gruden being hired to return to coach the Oakland Raiders ? GM Reggie McKenzie and team owner Mark Davis are actively assessing the situation and believe the former head coach of the franchise would be the ideal candidate .

    Personally , I don’t believe Gruden will accept the position , unless he’s given wide latitude in terms of all personnel decisions . Something I don’t believe McKenzie would be willing to do . Yet given the missteps in the decisions made by the general manager since he assumed his role , I don’t believe Gruden coming in could be any worse . Both Jon Gruden and Reggie McKenzie have been poor assessors of talent when it comes to the NFL Draft . The track of both has been abysmal .

    tophatal ……..

  14. That’s why I suggested, Al, that the Players Union and any resistance they provide, will be key to any progress. That’s where Goodell’s leadership (or lack thereof) will come into play.

    I don’t think there’s a fine line in these domestic violence cases. What if someone were to accuse a player of wrongdoing when there actually was none? Are we to suspend that player? Of course not.

    And who are we to trust? The authorities? Our legal system? The league?

    I’m not suggesting any of this is going to be easy but it needs to get done before the league’s image takes any more hits.

    No pun intended.

  15. Burnsy…

    I haven’t seen that interview. Nice to know though that you once had a soft spot for the man that was soon revoked.

    Hey, at least he’s a snazzy dresser.

  16. Why would Gruden go back to the Raiders, Al? That team sucks and Gruden currently has the cushiest job in all of sports.

    How much more money could he possibly be making by going back to the sidelines and is it worth the headaches?

    Personally, I don’t know that he’ll ever coach again. Has he publicly expressed any interest in doing so?

  17. Hmmm… Aero…

    This name sounds vaguely familiar.

    Welcome back from your tour around the world, brother.

    You know I worry when I don’t hear from you, right?

  18. If Gruden were to go back I’d say he’d want to be paid commensurate to the contract Pete Carrol now enjoys , a five-year $37.5 million contract . Don’t forget two of the last three year Jon Gruden was being paid b ABC ESPN and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers . Right money and price , you can never say ” never ” .

    The NFL remains a joke but yet fans are trying to suggest it still has some semblance of credibility , integrity and morals . What a fu#king joke along with the morons of that mindset . Name one thing of note the NFL has got right over the last decade which has been to the betterment of the game ? The play remains as mediocre as ever along with the coaching . This season in large part the quarterback play has been horrendous .

    Great to see the minnows of baseball finally beginning to make an appearance and getting the job done . I guess Mike Scioscia is likely to be looking for a new job after the Angels’ debacle against the Royals ? Not a moment too soon .

  19. I’m not saying he’ll never coach again, Al, but it certainly wouldn’t be a place like Oakland where a) he’s already been there done that and b) is essentially devoid of talent.

    Pats finally got one and yea, the Chargers look pretty decent. But what will they do in December and January?

  20. Bleed…

    I had the Bengals in the game mistakenly. I should have known better.

    But then again, what the hell do I know about picking football games.

    Nothing apparently.

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