Because hockey

Ladies and gentlemen, I once again proudly give to you…. Dr. Milhouse

Milhouse and the ChumpI am “That Guy.” I admit it. I live, breathe, and die with my teams. 

I go to every game I possibly can, I watch every road game I can, and if it’s possible, I’ll go to a bar to watch the team with other people. It’s not so bad early in the year, when I can go to games or watch them out of the corner of my eye on TV, and a loss isn’t a deal breaker, because there are so many left to come back from. But once it comes time for a playoff run? I turn into every awful idea you have about sports fans. I drink too much, I’m overly superstitious, and I will yell atrocious things at total strangers, just because they happen to wear opposing colors. On normal days, I’m a perfectly able, functioning member of society. When a championship is involved, I insist on sitting in the same seat, wearing the same shirt, growing a playoff beard, and any other “tradition” I justify to myself. 
 
It’s not something I’m happy about, or particularly proud of, but it’s fact.
 
Rodney Marsh, who made his name in Europe as a soccer player for Manchester City, and was the sparkle of Tampa’s eyes in the late 70s, once said, “Most people are in a factory from nine till five.  Their job may be to turn out 263 little circles.  At the end of the week they’re three short and somebody has a go at them.  On Saturday afternoons they deserve something to go and shout about.” It describes my approach to fandom pretty well. All week long, we absorb abuse. Letting it out at a sporting event is a healthy way to release that pent up aggression. If that involves telling Martin St. Louis that his mother is sucking cocks in hell, so be it. 
 
Which brings me to my primary obsession this time of year: The Tampa Bay Lightning. As frequent readers of this site no doubt know by now, I’ve dragged the Chump into my world of hockey psychosis. He’s seen me go from a rational, intelligent person and change into someone yelling “HIT HIM AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” like I’m spearheading a battering ram at a castle gate. Because Hockey.
 
Is what I do a poor reflection on me as a person? Probably. 
 
Should sports fans have some sort of common decorum, even in the heat of battle? Maybe. 
 
iRa-jOsCDo I intend to act any differently next spring when the Lightning make another playoff run? Fuck off. No.
 
So, while I attempt to cope with the Lightning falling short of the Stanley Cup, I lick my wounds and remind myself of crucial thoughts. The team’s core is young, under contract, and even hungrier now than they were before. And, maybe next year, the PLAYOFFS!!!1 shirt will work its magic. Next year’s schedule comes out soon. Season ticket seat relocation is in a week. A couple months to rest, and we’re back at it again. We’ll don the blue, we’ll go to games, watch from home, watch with friends at bars, and lose our minds all over again. The Lightning are 12/1 to win the Cup next year. Place your bets now.
 
Because hockey.

10 thoughts on “Because hockey

  1. Yeah, the only thing I don’t get about the piece is the “rational, intelligent person” line.

    Um… when exactly does that happen?

    Great piece, House, and thanks again for all the tickets.

    Lather, rinse, repeat next year.

  2. Great season for the Bolts. While not a fan myself I know many Lightning fans so I was rooting for them. Good article Milhouse. Nice touch on Martin St. Louis’s mom being a fluffer in the afterlife.

  3. Seeing unbridled passion for one’s team is what helps make sports so much fun for me. It was a great, great series and Tampa Bay comes away from it with a ton of valuable experience and a very healthy dose of revenge seeking. They are young and poised to have another stellar season in…just a couple of months. Hockey only gets put on pause for a couple of months and training camps will be open before we know it.

  4. Burnsy…

    It should come as no surprise that Tampa was banged the hell up in that series.

    They’re not using it as an excuse; everybody played. Including Ben Bishop with a busted-up groin, Tyler Johnson with a broken wrist and Nikita Kucherov after smashing his head and neck into the side of the post.

    Good things will continue to come for this franchise and tickets might just be harder to get.

  5. As a loyal Kings fan, I was rooting for TB in that series.
    Because fuck the Blackcocks.

    Good luck to you guys next year…
    …So long as your championship interests don’t conflict with mine.

  6. Pingback: Dr. Milhouse suggests trading Stamkos may reap long term gain | Sports Chump

  7. Burnsy…

    Milhouse is a buddy of mine who has done a fair share of writing in the past for other sites. He’s welcome to contribute whenever he feels.

    The phrase “because hockey” was a running theme for us throughout this post-season. We’re already making plans for next. “Because hockey” will probably be around then too.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*