Next year, we here in the United States will be voting in a new President. Whether you like him or not, President Barack Obama’s two terms as Commander-in-Chief will be over. The Democratic Party likely has their next candidate in Hillary Clinton. The Republican Party, however, is still looking for the one person who will give them back control of the White House.
Last night, America watched the first organized debate between those looking to fill that role. From Donald Trump to Marco Rubio to Jeb Rush to Rand Paul, Americans tuned in to see who might become the next leader of the free world.
Millions watched. The debate’s television ratings matched Game Six of the NBA Finals… and were equally as entertaining. It was by far the most watched primary debate ever televised. Republicans eager for change watched to find someone they can believe in. Liberals watched for the comedic value.
Needless to say, Twitter had something to say about the ten men on stage. Here are some of the more satirical Tweets from the night that was.
I think we’ve reached the point where if you’re playing a drinking game it’s time to just chug. Chug until it all goes away. #GOPDebate
“Dr. Carson, my question’s for you. I’ve had an erection for more than 4 hours…” #GOPDebate
I’m sorry, why do we let men lead this country? #GOPDebate
Can we please make this a weekly show? #GOPDebate
Finally a question from Facebook: “In my most recent travel photos do I look fat? I asked for those not to be posted.” #GOPDebate
I feel like ten guys are aggressively trying to sell me a used car that they know smells like smoke. #GOPDebate
SNL is really killing it with this #GOPDebate sketch
My ears hurt. Let’s get to the swimsuit competition already. #GOPDebate
If the Mexican government was really “cunning,” it would have bought a tourism ad during the debate #GOPDebate
“It’s a person as soon as the man buys the woman a second drink.” -M uckabee #GOPDebate
Man, I just can’t imagine why the Republicans haven’t locked up the Hispanic vote. #GOPDebate
“If it weren’t for me, no one would be talking about me.” – Trump, 2016 #GOPdebate
Marco Rubio admitted he’s poor. Like we couldn’t tell that already from his suit. #GOPDebate
I haven’t seen this many opinionated white men in the same room since, well, I guess since this morning. It’s very common. #GOPDebate
This is the best Sharknado so far. #GOPDebate
There should be a monster truck rally intermission. #GOPDebate
If Marco Rubio does a good job answering tonight, his mom says they can stop for pizza on the way home. #GOPDebate
Who’s winning the #GOPDebate? According to preliminary reports, anybody who’s not watching.
Trumps plan is to write a 13th chapter in the constitution #GOPDebate
“I made a lot of money in Atlantic City,” is exactly what you want to hear come out of the mouth of a presidential candidate. #GOPDebate
This is the dullest Viagra commercial of all time. #GOPDebate
So far no questions about:
– Confederate flag
– Gay marriage
– Cecil the Lion
– Properly inflated footballs
Let’s take a moment. Applause for a Republican man who said he attended a gay marriage. We’re getting there. #GOPDebate
You went to a gay wedding? Hopefully not in that suit. #KasichSlam #GOPDebate
Do you hate black people, and how much? #GOPdebate
“Show of hands: How many of you plan to see Straight Outta Compton?” #GOPDebate
Jeb Bush just said we need to take out ISIS with every tool at our disposal. There are plenty on stage tonight #GOPDebate
“It was my understanding there would be no mention of my brother.” -Jeb #GOPdebate
Governor Christie, did you get your military expertise from Tom Clancy novels? #GOPDebate
“Kill people and break things,” Huckabee just described the GOP. #GOPDebate
In final moments…”what about the veterans” a great reflection for how our politics have failed to prioritize our veterans. #GOPDebate
Rubio says journey from a bar to #GOPDebate stage is why he’s running. Ironically, I want to run from this debate to a bar.
“My father worked his whole life in a Breyer’s ice cream plant. I continued his dream by eating that ice cream plant.” – Christie #GOPDebate
This is like the police lineup for the most boring crime ever committed #GOPDebate
Thoroughly enjoyed last night’s Parade of the Unelectables. Let’s do it again soon.