Debunking the Clean Slate Myth

Super Bowl 50How many times have you heard it?

It’s the beginning of the football season and “every team starts with a clean slate.”

That’s laughable.

While it’s certainly mathematically logical to say that all 32 NFL teams have a chance at reaching the Super Bowl, let’s be real.  There are a few teams out there that have no chance in hell of making it to Santa Clara for Super Bowl 50.

The Washington Redskins are one of those teams.

At the end of the season, there’s always a surprise team or two, prompting us to look back and say “Wow, I didn’t see that coming.”  It’s safe to say that’s not going to happen in the nation’s capital, at least not when it comes to the Redskins.  They have a “franchise” quarterback they think they kinda, sorta want but we’ve read this book before and we all know it ends: badly… or at least with him in a different uniform.  If you’re betting money that RGIII will end his career with the Redskins, I have a bridge to sell you.

Not only do they have a quarterback controversy – and by controversy, I mean they don’t have a viable quarterback to start their football games – their GM’s wife was just found Tweeting ill tweets to a woman she thought was having an affair with her husband.  Like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of their lives.

Redskins Days of Our Lives copy

I could go on for hours about the reality TV show that has become the Washington Redskins but picking on them wouldn’t do justice to the rest of the shitty teams in the league.

Jacksonville.

I mean, come on.  How long until they move this team to Los Angeles or perhaps the Arena League?  Maybe there they could finish over .500.  The only reason Jags fans still go to home games is because there’s nothing else to do in that shitty city.  Not only are the Jags unbearably bad and have absolutely zero chance of winning their division, in which the Colts play, you can’t name one player on that team other than Blake Bortles.  The last four years, they’ve won five, two, four and three games respectively.  They haven’t made the playoffs since 2007 and we can fully expect that trend to continue this year.

The Browns.

No, I can’t do it.  I just can’t do it.  Why kick a team while they’re down, which in Cleveland’s case is like, forever.  Let me just say Johnny Manziel and leave it at that.  Okay.  Josh McCown.  Okay, that’s it.  I’m done.

Raiders fansOakland.

When is this team going to be good again?  Things are so bad in Oakland, even the face painters aren’t intimidating any more.  At least they still have the Warriors.

Chicago.

Yeah, well.  Jay Cutler is too easy to pick on.

Earlier this off-season, I contemplated putting money on each of the underdogs to win their respective divisions:  the Browns at +1300, the Bucs at +800, the Jags at +5000, the Raiders at +1300, the Redskins at +3300, the Bears at +2800, the Niners at +2000 and of course, the Jets whose number is currently off the board with the Tom Brady reinstatement.

I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I mean, would you?  Which of those teams do you honestly believe has even a remote chance of winning their division?

So let’s stop it with all the clean slate nonsense.  The chances of these teams winning the Super Bowl are about as good as finding Roger Goodell in line waiting to see “Concussion,” and I can’t imagine that’s very good.

14 thoughts on “Debunking the Clean Slate Myth

  1. Agreed. One thing did come to mind as I was reading however…and perhaps it is because I actually saw (ok…I bought it too) an NBA basketball preview magazine today. My god, what can the NBA sell as far as those teams ALL starting with a “clean slate.” Even with unforseen injuries so many clubs have absolutely no shot at hoop supremacy. Oh…and your phone is ringing. The City of Jacksonville’s Tourism Director is on Line 1.


  2. So now, in order to get noticed and further embarrass the franchise Jessica McCloughlan wife of Redskins’ general manager Scott McCloughlan , suggests that Dianna Russin ( ESPN) a reporter , offered sexual favors orally to get the story on the team’s quarterback Robert Griffin III and his fall from grace ? Can you imagine if the story had been about Michael Sam and what the suggestions there might’ve been ?

    Jeff Pash SVP & Chief Legal Counsel chose not to give testimony in Deflate-Gate but now he and Goodell are lodging an appeal in a US Federal Court of Appeals ? And you continue to wonder why this league is overseen by a bunch of lame @$s idiots ?

  3. Hey, if you are going to suck as a franchise, Dianna Russin is as good a reason as any to screw it up. Not hard to look at – I’m betting it ain’t the first time she’s been accused. Where’s Linda Cohn when you need her? She’d put a stop to this with a lawsuit.

    On a related note, bye Tebow & Matt Barkley. Hello Sanchez.

    Last comment for the day – sorry SC….you know I’m a nice guy but Roll Tide tonight.

  4. I’ve been thrown out of better places than Jacksonville, Burnsy.

    And you’re right about the NBA, particularly the Eastern Conference.

    We watched all last season (well we didn’t really) as the Hawks and Raptors took home the top two seeds in that conference but we all knew they weren’t making the Finals.

    And they didn’t.

    Shocker.

    At least the West is there to give us some drama. It should again this year.

  5. Moose…

    Why not just go all Favre on her and text her a picture of his junk. While clearly less qualified than the other two, Jenn Sterger ain’t hard to look at either.

    Speaking of Tide, looks like we’ve got some pretty good teams in the SEC this year. I guess they’re pissed off about losing that BSC streak.

    Also nice to see the Gators relevant again.

  6. I’m the ultimate SEC homer. I want every team to win every game they play except when they play Bama. If you get a chance post the link and comment on the 2 HS kids that took out the ref intentionally. Bet you’d get some reaction on that!

  7. I didn’t hear about that, Moose. Got a link to the story?

    And Ohio State looked pretty damn good tonight. I see no way they won’t be there at the end playing for another crown.

    Fuckers.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*