SportsChump’s NFL Picks against the world – Week Three

It takes skill to be this bad.

Any copper coin when flipped can pick half the games right or better according to Kevin Paul’s lucky and clearly rigged quarter that went 14-2 in Week One.  Someone call Commissioner Goodell.

To go three out of the first eleven games played, however, requires the kind of absolute know-nothingness that few possess.  I’m quite displeased to say I am that person.

Things eventually evened out for me in a week dominated by underdogs.  I went 6-10 against the spread which in retrospect isn’t that bad considering 90% of you were bounced from your eliminator pools.  Last week Kevin went 7-9 so I’ve got him right in my sights, Mrs. Moneypenny.

We’re already discussed how much money you could have made by strictly betting dogs last week.  We’ll see if that trend continues.  As you’ll soon find out, this week is all about trends.

BadMeanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, I’m so bad at picking games, Michael Jackson wrote a song about me.  I’m so bad that I couldn’t even Photoshop this picture of me properly on Michael Jackson’s “Bad” album cover.  I’m so bad that I could play in the Bears secondary.  I’m so bad that there’s a squid somewhere in Spain picking soccer games with greater accuracy… which just makes me hungry for sushi.

Perhaps I should stick to tending bar.

To heck with that!  Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?  I’ve got a full season (of futility) left ahead of me.

Off we go to another boldly unpredictable and quite trendy Week Three.  Enjoy your Sunday, everyone.

 

SPORTSCHUMP’S I’M BAD, I’M BAD, I KNOW IT PICKS

 

Washington Redskins at NY Giants (- 4)

There’s really two ways to bet football games.  You can bet with trends or against them.  One would think betting with trends is the more lucrative option.  We shall soon see.  One might look at these Giants and see they are clearly due to turn things around (against the trend).  Another might look at these Giants and realize they simply can’t close out football games (with the trend).  The Redskins shocked the hell out of everybody last week by beating the Rams.  The Giants are banged up and with no Victor Cruz still only have one viable option at wide receiver: Odell Beckham, Jr.  That being said, the Giants have too much talent to start the season 0-3.  I’ll take the G-Men at home.

 

Pittsburgh Steelers at St Louis Rams (+1)

Wow, these Steelers can really score.  When’s the last time you remember the Steelers scoring 43 points in a football game, especially against a 49ers team we thought after Week One was going to be solid defensively.  The Rams are solid defensively or so we thought.  We’ll find out Sunday afternoon whether they’re able to stop Pittsburgh and their multiple weapons.  I talked to a Ravens fan earlier this week and the mere mention of the Steelers being good gave him fits.  I’m with the trend here as I plan to ride out this Steelers train until they don’t cover.  Give me the Steelers on the road.

 

San Diego Chargers at Minnesota Vikings (-2.5)

Remember last week when I talked about how bad Teddy Bridgewater was?  Apparently, that’s just another thing in this league that I have literally no clue about.  Normally I would take the Chargers this week:  Rivers over Bridgewater in a wash.  But that would be going against the trend.  Fuck it, give me San Diego and the points ayway.

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Houston Texans (-6.5)

What about the Houston Texans leads one to believe they can beat anybody by a touchdown?  They don’t have a quarterback.  Wait, I take that back.  They have two quarterbacks and they both suck.  Ryan Mallett couldn’t complete a pass last week to a horny girl hopped up on Rufinol while the Bucs got off the snide and finally won a game.  I’m looking forward to seeing JJ Watt welcome Jameis Winston into the league.  Hopefully it won’t be the same rude welcome PacMan Jones gave Amari Cooper.  The Bucs looked decent enough on the road last week to cover six-and-a-half points against a really bad team.  I’ll take Tampa Bay.

 

 

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Jets (-2.5)

See, this is why I absolutely hate picking every game every week.  Remind me never to do this again.  I have a much better plan for next year.  Sshhh, it’s a secret.  I have no clue about this game because once again… trends.  The Jets looked invincible last week against a high-powered offense.  The Eagles are supposed to be a high-powered offense.  The Eagles going 0-3 might cause Pope Francis to book an earlier flight out of Philadelphia.  I may kick myself here but I’m going against the trend.  This is the week the Eagles finally figure it out, by giving the ball to DeMarco Murray 27 times and letting him grind out a victory.  Did you see Murray stare down Sam Bradford on the sidelines last week?  Yeah, he’s getting the ball this week.  Give me the Eagles and the points.

 

 

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-3)

I think Drew Brees is out this week with old age.  Not that it would matter.  The Bucs had his number last Sunday so just imagine what a 2-0 Panthers team will do.  I think these Saints are in trouble and three isn’t too much to lay here.  I’m actually surprised this line is that small which might signify a trap.  Still, from what I saw from the Saints, they were just bad.  Give me the Panthers at home to cover.

 

 

Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots (-13.5)

This just seems unfair.  The Patriots are playing insanely well and while the Jags did just beat the Dolphins, they shouldn’t have to travel to New England to play probably the best team in the league.  Back to life, back to reality for the Jags.  I don’t think even Blake Bortles’ mom is giving her son’s team a chance against the Deflatriots.  But can they keep it respectable?  I say no.  Pats cover.

 

 

Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens (-2.5)

The Ravens are getting to the meat of their AFC North schedule, much to the chagrin of the angry Ravens fan I mentioned earlier.  I told him not to worry, that things would even out this week.  They do.  Ravens cover at home and get a much-needed victory.

 

 

Oakland Raiders at Cleveland Browns (-3.5)

Think there will be anyone at this game?  I mean, if I told you I had two free tickets to this weekend’s Raiders-Browns game, would you go or would you need a hellacious buzz before thinking about it.  Of course you’d go.  It’s a free ticket to see Johnny Manziel.  You’d be nuts not to.  And this Brownies defense is pretty good.  They’ll need to be to stop a Raiders offense that scored 37 last week.  Apparently the motivational story of Johnny Manziel has inspired the rest of the Browns locker room.  I guess they like hearing sordid tales about Justin Bieber and Floyd Mayweather.  “This one time… in Vegas.”  Either way, I’m a sucker for a good motivational story.  Give me the Browns to cover.

 

 

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans (+3)

Trends.  Do a pissed off Andrew Luck and company right the ship this week after a woeful performance on Monday night or is there really something wrong with that team?  There is something wrong with that team but it won’t show this week at Tennessee.  I like Indy to cover.

 

 

Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys (+2)

No’ mo, Romo.  It sure seems like I say that a lot.  Romo’s out at least half the season with a broken clavicle, meaning Brandon Wheeden will take over.  The Cowboys just traded for Matt Cassel but it’s unlikely he’ll see any action considering he doesn’t know the playbook.  The Falcons?  Well, they’re good and a Romo-less Cowboy team couldn’t come at a better time.  I would dare to venture everyone thinks the Falcons are just going to waltz into Dallas Stadium, win and cause panic mode in the Big D but I have faith that this Cowboys team is still decent, even without Tony Romo and Dez Bryant.  Who am I kidding?  Falcons go into Dallas and continue their win streak causing Jerry Jones to pop into Cassel’s hotel room every five minutes asking “You learn that playbook yet?”

 

 

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (-6.5)

Did you know that in the first two games of the season, the Cardinals have scored more points than any other team in the league?  Did you know the Niners allowed 40+ last week to the Steelers?  FYI, the over/under is 44 which tells me they think this game will be somewhat close.  I’m not buying it.  I’ll take the Cards at home to cover this week simply because I don’t think San Fran can score with one of the most underappreciated teams in the league.

 

 

Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks (-14.5)

This one has all the makings of a game gone ugly and it’s not just because Jay Cutler is out.  The Bears would get trounced even if he were healthy, probably more so.  Kam Chancellor is back and just in time to feast on (sorry, Bears fans) one of the worst teams in the league.  Things are so bad in Chicago, they’re wishing they had Lovie Smith back.  Jimmy Clausen is starting this week.  I bet he wishes he wasn’t.  Rest assured this game will be the first one turned off this weekend, especially by Bears fans.  Seattle covers.

 

 

Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins (-3)

Good game.  The fish are coming off a loss to Jacksonville.  Another loss puts them well behind in this division.  The same goes for Rex Ryan and his Bills.  Whoever loses this football game will have a tough time climbing out of the AFC East cellar.  I’m going to take Buffalo here only because I haven’t heard a Bon Jovi song in a while.

 

 

Denver Broncos at Detroit Lions (+3)

The Lions could be in trouble.  Matthew Stafford was beaten up more last week than a geek in high school.  A guy who was once owned in every fantasy league is barely started.  He’s questionable in real life too.  Denver is coming off a long week and a high from a game they had no business winning.  They don’t take any chances in Detroit, kicking a Lions team while they’re down.  Give me the Broncos and the trend.

 

 

Kansas City Chiefs at Green Bay Packers (-6.5)

This should be a great Monday night game.  Green Bay is coming off a Sunday night game so they’ll be used to the prime time.  Kansas City is coming off a long week of stewing about their loss in prime time to the Broncos.  Trends.  Do they have enough to right that ship after fumbling it away or does their trend continue?  I’ll take KC and the points for no real reason and hope for the best.

 

YOU’LL SOON UNDERSTAND WHY WE KEEP ASKING BLEED BACK TO PICK PICKS

 

It figures that my turn in the sacrificial lamb rotation against the Chump and KP comes on the heels of underdog week in the NFL. I’m just a basketball junkie dipping his toe into the shark infested waters of pigskin obsessed lunatics that dabble in Dungeons and Drag…I mean…Gridiron geeks that likely build fantasy football teams in multiple leagues and breakdown each game as if it were one of those classified emails from Hillary’s wiped server.

I, on the other hand, merely play a casual game in my weekly office pool for less money than you’d spend at Subway…And the only fantasy I have involves winning the lottery, the Playboy mansion grotto or better yet, both. But since Chris so graciously asked again, I’ll put my two cents in against the internet’s gruesome twosome and hope I don’t embarrass myself too badly.

 

Redskins @ Giants

One thing the Eli era has taught me about the Giants is, you never know which Eli will show up. Peyton’s kid brother that’s 2-0 vs golden boy Tom Brady in the Superbowl, or the short bus, window-licking one who looks like he borrowed Jason Pierre-Paul’s hand for game day. Bottom line in my mind is that NY is winless and playing at home. I think that spells trouble for Washington. I’ll lay the 3.5 and hope for good Eli to show his mug and another two fingered catch or two by that kid with the blond-tipped fro.

GIANTS

 

 

Bengals @ Ravens

Their records are the exact opposite of what you’d historically expect from these two teams. Cincy looks surprisingly legit, but if Flacco and the birds choke to the ginger QB and the Ohio Cats at home Baltimore may see a fresh round of rioting start on Sunday. Hopefully the unibrow and the Edgar Allen Poe’s don’t allow that to happen. I’ll lay the 2.5 points and hope the Ravens FG unit comes through.

RAVENS

 

 

Saints @ Panthers

On top of being 0-2, now Brees reportedly has a bum shoulder. He’ll miss Jimmy Graham more than ever since short passes would help with that arm issue. Their defense looks suspect too…Not a good combo. I’ll spot the Saints the FG spread as I expect Cam Newton to further expose N.O.’s hapless D and the cats will keep their unblemished record for at least another week. Let’s just hope Cam keeps that ridiculous imaginary S on his chest under wraps.

PANTHERS

 

 

Raiders @ Browns

I hate the fucking Raiders. It’s that simple on this pick. Hate em.

And the Brownstains have been a running joke my entire life. Might as well call this one the Tidy Bowl and flush it for all I care. Cleveland’s at home, so I’ll just imagine Kevin Costner actually is the GM and hope Johnny Fooseball plays like he’s back in college so all the local Raider-loving gangbangers here in LA eat crow shit for yet another week.

BROWNS

 

 

Falcons @ Cowboys

Battle of the unbeatens comes down to Romo…Or lack thereof.  As much flak as he takes, dude can play some football…And Brandon Weeden is Brandon Weeden. Frankly I’m surprised the dirty birds are only favored by 2. I’ll take that 2 and raise you a Matty Ice and Julio Jones.

ATLANTA

 

 

 

Bucs @ Texans

The dynamic defensive duo of J.J. Watt and Jadeveon Clowney can’t be happy about being 0-2. I expect they will get after Crab Leg something fierce to give the home crowd a glimmer of hope for the season. -Who’s this Mallet guy? I’d feel much better about spotting TB a TD if Arian Foster were guaranteed to be in there to hand the ball off to, but he’s only a maybe to play this Sunday. No matter. As long as Mallet throws the ball to Hopkins and the D does their part, I’ll continue to never trust the Bucs.

TEXANS

 

 

 

Chargers @ Vikings

You never know when either Phillip Rivers or Adrian Peterson will have a breakout game and put up really stupid video game numbers. I’m gonna keep it simple go with my heart and root for the So-Cal team and root against the child-abuser. I’ll spot the Vikes the 2.5. Here’s hoping San Diego takes a switch to Adrian’s backside and leaves at least one mark on his ass that looks like a lightning bolt.

CHARGERS

 

 

 

Jaguars @ Patriots

Deflate the score by 13.5 points before it even starts? Meh. Brady in Foxborough. Nuff said.

PATS

 

 

Eagles @ Jets

Jets are soaring, Eagles are floundering. My gut tells me Chip Kelly has some wild schemes he’s going to bust out in desperation to avoid an 0-3 hole, but my head tells me NY is actually a solid team with Ryan Fitzpatrick playing well, Brandon Marshall in a zone and Darrelle Revis proving once again that he’s still the best DB in the game. The Vegas oddsmakers seem to agree with my head as they’re favoring NY by 2.5. That’s all the convincing I need.

JETS

 

 

 

Steelers @ Rams

Big Ben is looking spry as ever and Antonio Brown is averaging over 150 receiving yards per game thus far. The Rams shocked the Seahawks in week 1, but lost to Washington in week 2. Both Nick Foles and Todd Gurley are questionable, but will likely play gimpy. Giving up only 2 points to St. Louis seems like a no-brainer, which is why the Rams will probably win by 20 just to make me look stupid.

STEELERS

 

 

 

Colts @ Titans

Mariota looks decent enough dropping 42 points on the Bucs in week 1, but then they lost to the shit stain Browns last week. What are we to make of that?

And the Colts haven’t even won a game yet.

I’m thinking Frank Gore might have a little magic left in the tank, right? And Sasquatchdrew Luck isn’t going to let this Heisman kid get the better of him over a mere 3.5 point spread is he? Sounds like a Jack Link’s commercial waiting to happen. My money’s on bigfoot lashing out.

COLTS

 

 

 

49ers @ Cardinals

Colin Kaepernick has looked good, but this just doesn’t feel like the same 49ers of the last few years. Meanwhile, Carson Palmer’s ACL is healthy and he has Larry Fitzgerald as a #1 target. In the first two weeks, the USC alum has 7 TD’s and the Cards have dropped 79 points. AZ’s defense is still strong and home cooking never hurts. Frisco can have the 6.5 and I’ll take the only Trojan QB to live up to the Heisman hype in the NFL in the last decade and a half.

CARDINALS

 

 

 

Bills @ Dolphins

Rex Ryan dropped a few LB’s and updated his lame tattoo, but he’s still confident if nothing else…And why not? He’s got a Tyrod driving his engine, LaSean McCoy behind him and Percy Harvin reeling em in downfield. Pretty decent weapons. The question is, will Miami’s new monster in the middle, Ndamukong Suh, finally show up? I have trouble believing any team with Ryan Tannehill as their starter as legit. Both teams will be looking to stay out of the cellar of the AFC east, but for whatever reason I think Buffalo will win outright so getting the 2.5 points is just the cherry on top.

BILLS

 

 

Bears @ Seahawks

Okay Russell, just hit that shit already so all this she’s a curse crap stops. She didn’t certainly hurt Future’s career. On the heels of two straight trips to the Superbowl, 0-2 is not how someone who fought so hard for that fat contract this off season is supposed to be sitting. Kam Chancellor is a big loss, but you still have Sherman and Beast Mode. Ciara isn’t your only new toy to not be played with enough…Get Graham some touches and Da Bears should fall easily, even without Mr. INT Jay Cuntler there to help your cause. Jimmy Claussen is a joke and Matt Forte is questionable to even suit up. Look for the Hawks to play with purpose, maybe even anger and win…But not by the 16 point spread. I’ll take CHI and the points.

BEARS

 

 

Broncos @ Lions

Peyton may be singing “Comeback wins you taste so good”, but Detroit is stewing at 0-2. Stafford, Megatron, Tate, Ebron and Abdullah are bound to have a breakout game and drop 50 on someone…Why not this week at home with 3 extra points to boot?

Because Peyton.

DENVER

 

 

 

Chiefs @ Packers

KC got Peytoned last week in a tough loss, so that bitter pill will be fresh in their minds. This week it gets even tougher with Aaron Rodgers and the Pack at home. KC is undefeated at Lambeau Field all time, but they did lose the first Superbowl to Vince Lombardi’s Packers, (A little more fuel for the Chiefs fire). …But history be damned, I’ll take the Jordy Nelsonless Pack anyway and give Arrowhead the finger and spot the Chiefs the 6.5

GO PACKERS!

I love NFL football and that was kinda fun, but damn…Is it Lakers season yet?!?

 

 

KP’S MY COIN KNOWS WAY MORE THAN ME (AND CHUMP TOO) PICKS

 

Washington Redskins at New York Giants (-3.5)

Something strange happened, almost like the NFC East got up on the wrong side of the bed.  The season started and it was the Dez, Tony and Jerry Show in Dallas, with a side of Chip Kelly’s offense.  Now some people think the RGIII-less-Redskins could quietly be the favorites.  The Redskins lead the NFL in rushing (171.5 ypg), while the Giants are likely to be without a few key pieces in its run D this week.  The key will be Washington slowing down Odell Beckham Jr., at least, as much as humanly possible.  Washington’s O-line is off to a solid start and Kirk Cousins has shown improvement this season.  Therefore, with a 3 1/2 point line, I like the ‘Skins, even on the road.  Take Washington and the points.

KP’s Pick: Washington Redskins

 

Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens (-2.5)

Jeremy Hill’s performance last week was a head scratcher, and ugly for those that drafted him in the first round of Fantasy leagues (cough cough, I’m one of those people).  Now, it’s time for an AFC Central clash with Baltimore, a team that gave Denver a fight, then folded at the hands of the Raiders.  Yeah, I’m confused, too.  Joe Flacco has struggled a bit to start the season and could clearly use additional weapons on offense, like injured WR Breshad Perriman.  The teams have combined to allow two sacks on the season (B’More 2, Cincy 0) and that leads me to believe that each passer could have time to throw.  Most signs point to the Bengals, but Baltimore is really tough to beat at home.  Ravens by a FG.

KP’s Pick: Baltimore Ravens

 

San Diego Chargers at Minnesota Vikings (-2.5)

The Chargers are traveling east again and have just one sack through two games, which could bode well for Teddy Bridgewater and the Vikings offense.  Then again, Minnesota only has two sacks, so forget the trenches.  What about Adrian Peterson, who was used more effectively in Week 2 (29 carries for 134 yards)?  The Giovani Bernard – Jeremy Hill combo ran 30 times for 162 yards last week against San Diego.  This is like tossing a slice of pie and a piece of cake in front of me.  I want to pick both.  Give me the Vikes a la mode, whatever that means.

KP’s Pick: Minnesota Vikings

 

Oakland Raiders at Cleveland Browns (-3.5)

The Browns will go back to Josh McCown at quarterback, leaving Johnny Manziel to ride the pine again.  Should this really affect how we feel about this game?  Only if you’re a Texas A&M alum.  You can’t trust either team here and both pulled off surprises last week.  Sure, Cleveland is at home and does have Joe Haden in the secondary.  When I see these two facing each other, I drop all analysis, babble for a few lines and then mutter the word “barnburner”.  Ahem, barnburner.  Take Oakland and the points.

KP’s Pick: Oakland Raiders

 

Atlanta Falcons at Dallas Cowboys (+1.5)

When the season started, this would have been coined as one of the must-see shootouts of the year.  But now, an injured Tony Romo is home making ‘crownies’, while Brandon Weeden will be leading the Dallas offense.  Atlanta is a little banged up, but not like the Cowboys, who will not have its starting QB (Romo) and top receiver (Dez Bryant).  Throw in a hefty dose of Matt Ryan, Julio Jones and Roddy White and that alone will be too much for Brandon Weeden to keep up with.  Take the Falcons on the road with confidence.

KP’s Pick: Atlanta Falcons

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Houston Texans (-6.5)

The Bucs went from hot mess to hot story after shocking Drew Brees and the Saints on the road last week.  The question will be how rookie Jameis Winston can handle the relentless pressure of J.J. Watt and the Houston defense.  Still, it should be noted that DeAndre Hopkins did not practice due to a concussion and Arian Foster is likely to be out another week.  The Bucs do have six sacks through two games and stats have shown that Ryan Mallett has struggled under pressure.  Oh, and Mike Evans should be back, too.  Call me crazy, but the Bucs keep this one close on the road.  Take Tampa and the points.

KP’s Pick: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

 

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Jets (-2.5)

Let’s see, DeMarco Murray left practice this week with an injury, but hasn’t been posting any numbers anyway.  Chip Kelly’s offense is a flop to start the season and the Jets are… good?  New York trounced Cleveland in Week 1 and shutdown Andrew Luck and the Colts on Monday night.  But that’s just it, the Jets are playing on short rest and now will face off against the fast-paced Eagles.  Darrelle Revis is battling a groin injury and Eric Decker didn’t practice due to a knee injury.  The Jets have played well, but let’s not underestimate the Eagles just yet, especially considering the above injuries and short rest.  Give me Philly on the road.

KP’s Pick: Philadelphia Eagles

 

Pittsburgh Steelers at St. Louis Rams (+1.5)

The Rams managed six sacks against the Seahawks, then followed that with a trampling at the hands of Washington’s two-headed monster (Morris and Jones).  It won’t get any easier, now that the Steelers have Le’Veon Bell back from suspension.  Bell could be a bit rusty, but Pittsburgh still has Antonio Brown, Ben Roethlisberger and the second ranked passing offense (349.5 ypg).  In a tossup, give me the strength of Pittsburgh’s offense on the road.

KP’s Pick: Pittsburgh Steelers

 

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-3.5)

Drew Brees is the real question mark here and the New Orleans QB is confident that he will suit up on Sunday.  But will he be 100%?  More importantly, will they have to pull that commercial if Luke McCown starts?  I kid.  Cam Newton and the Carolina offense still isn’t all that, but the SportsChump makes me submit all my picks prior to the Thursday game, so you can blame him if this one is wrong.  I’ll take Carolina, assuming Drew Brees isn’t healthy enough to push New Orleans consistently down the field.

KP’s Pick: Carolina Panthers

 

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans (+4.5)

Andrew Luck and the Colts are floundering offensively, while the Titans came back to Earth a bit in Week 2, falling to the Browns 28-14 (they trailed 21-0 at half).  Indy’s big issues have been turnovers and injuries (especially in the secondary).  The Colts also only have one sack through two games.  Still, I expect Andrew Luck to right the ship eventually – and we will reach “eventually” this week.  Colts cruise on the road.

KP’s Pick: Indianapolis Colts

 

Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots (-13.5)

The Jags are no pushover and proved that last week in a surprising win over the Dolphins.  Still, this is the Patriots playing at home and Tom Brady (7 TD, 0 INT) has the New England passing game on the top of the NFL (366 ypg).  More notable is New England’s 11 sacks through two games (most in NFL), which could mean trouble for Blake Bortles and a Jacksonville line that has given up five sacks through the first two weeks.  I’m tempted to take the Jags with this line, but it just seems silly when the Patriots are at home and playing in midseason form.  Pats cover, win by two TD’s.

KP’s Pick: New England Patriots

 

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (-6.5)

Carlos Hyde left last week’s game and was evaluated for a possible concussion.  His potential absence is a headache for Niners fans, especially traveling on the road to Arizona, where the Cardinals are tough to beat.  Carson Palmer has been on fire through two games and will be facing a San Francisco defense that is ranked 26th against the pass, while also allowing a league-high 10.2 yards per play through the air.  The Niners also played more like people expected they would in Week 2.  Give me the Cards, who will be playing with a full deck.  Yeah, my jokes are that bad.

KP’s Pick: Arizona Cardinals

 

Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks (-14.5)

It took a few glances to make sure that the Seahawks were indeed favored by 14 1/2 points, despite starting the season 0-2.  Then reality set in, a reality that featured the 12th man in Seattle and Jimmy Clausen running a Chicago offense that also has its top two receivers (Alshon Jeffery and Eddie Royal) not practicing on Wednesday, due to injuries.  Suddenly, that line doesn’t seem so large.  Seattle wins big at home.

KP’s Pick: Seattle Seahawks

 

Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins (-2.5)

The Dolphins are 1-1, but have struggled in the opening two weeks.  Rex Ryan talks more than Donald Trump and that came back to bite him against New England.  Dating back to the 2011 season, the home team in this series has only lost twice.  Tyrod Taylor has been a pleasant surprise for Buffalo, but I’m going to stick to the home team trend.  That, plus Ryan Tannehill is due for a breakout game.  Give me the Fish at home.

KP’s Pick: Miami Dolphins

 

Denver Broncos at Detroit Lions (+3.5)

Peyton Manning proved his doubters wrong last week, executing a perfect two-minute drill in a dramatic victory in Kansas City.  The Broncos get a few extra days to prepare for the Lions, while Detroit is likely to have Matthew Stafford, but perhaps not at 100% (due to a rib injury).   Detroit finally gets a home game, but again, it’s against a rejuvenated Peyton Manning.  Denver’s biggest question mark has been its offensive line, but the Lions have just three sacks in two weeks, and opposing QB’s have posted a 108.8 QB rating against them.  With those numbers in mind, give me Peyton and the Broncos.

KP’s Pick: Denver Broncos

 

Kansas City Chiefs at Green Bay Packers (-6.5)

Snow or shine, the Packers are painfully difficult to beat at home.  Aaron Rodgers continues to be deadly, despite not having Jordy Nelson as an offensive weapon.  Eddie Lacy is questionable with an ankle injury, but James Starks is capable of stepping up in his absence.  K.C. is second only to the Patriots in sacks (8 in two games), but Green Bay has only allowed two in the first two contests.  It’s a rarity that I would pick against Rodgers and the Packers at Lambeau, and I’m sticking with that plan today.  Green Bay by a touch.

KP’s Pick: Green Bay Packers

6 thoughts on “SportsChump’s NFL Picks against the world – Week Three

  1. Johnny Fartsniffer ain’t starting for Cleveland there numb nuts…….Josh McClown has been tabbed this weekend’s Clown leader and will give the atomic helicopter goal line crossing another attempt…But otherwise…you put up a fairly decent scribble…..It’s a toss up between Herbie Haddock and Bleed as to keeping me gloriously interested…..

    GO LANE KIFFEN…..
    (Bleed had a wall sized Fathead of that guy when he was coaching the Trojans)

    Where is B&O?…..

  2. Hope you got mine yesterday… sent them two to three hours before kickoff… on time. Shocking, I know. Just wanted to make sure you got them, as I’m sure you are a busy man. Cheers. By the way, that stupid coin went 11-5 in Week 2… that’s insane. 25-7. Why didn’t we take it to Vegas when we had the chance? There’s no way this lasts.

  3. Chris

    As a betting man , do you believe Il Papa (The Pope) can help the professional sports’ franchises in Philadelphia out of their current malaise ? The Phillies and Eagles are so frigging bad , that in the City of Brotherly Love , the only thing worth smiling about, might be The Pope himself . Your thoughts on that ?

  4. I’m still awaiting the arrival of the Four Horsemen…..

    When was the last time that the Jags….the Clowns and the Raiders all won their games on the same day?

    Great reads Rev…..been a long time….

  5. Pingback: NFL Week 3 Picks: The Coin Flip is Turning Me into Two-Face | The Wife Hates Sports

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