In fact, dare I say that in this day and age of social media nitpicking at the superstar’s lifestyle, pretty much the exact opposite happened than what I thought would happen in this whole Lamar Odom situation.
Follow me, if you will.
Earlier this week, we all took to the internet to find out that current (or former, I’m not sure which) NBA player and current (or former, once again I’m not sure which) husband of Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom had been hospitalized and was on life support.
Details soon emerged that not only was he near death but he had been found in a brothel (not once described as a whorehouse in any report I saw) with traces of cocaine and herbal Viagra in his system.
The outpouring of support was overwhelming. Everyone with a Twitter account rushed to his defense, citing how serious addiction is (which it is) and what a troubled caring soul Odom was (which he may very well be).
Probably in poor taste, I took to Twitter to see if I could find any jokes about his condition, you know, just stopping by to see what condition his condition was in. After all, it’s not every day that we find an athlete of his stature keeled over in a whorehouse hopped up on coke and boner pills.
The only joke I could find, and I looked for hours, was from Ralphie May who Tweeted “I just heard Lamar Odom was found unconscious in a Nevada whorehouse. What do you think that runs, $8,000? More less?”
God bless the professional comedian for helping us keep things in perspective.
Perhaps more nauseating than the lack of jokes in this situation was the fact that I found countless Tweets commending Kobe Bryant for leaving practice to rush to Odom’s bedside, serving as a testament to Bryant’s character. Spare me.
Call me inappropriate or perhaps even occasionally tasteless but I guess I was just surprised about how this whole thing went down. Not a single soul questioned Odom’s judgment. When did we suddenly become so sympathetic to Lamar Odom’s plight? He must have really won people over on that Kardashian show or perhaps we just feel bad for a guy who has been sucked into their web of horror. Nah, that doesn’t make sense either. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be giving Bruce Jenner so much shit about his sex change.
Imagine if this were anyone else. Local politician? Career ruined. Movie star? Box office disaster. Any athlete who drives drunk immediately becomes a pariah, never mind if he’s found cracked out in a whorehouse (or is it whored out in a crack house, again… I’m not sure which).
When I shuffle off this mortal coil, I want to be helicoptered out of a Las Vegas whorehouse, er… brothel, surrounded by scantily-clad and recently showered hookers to a standing ovation, an empty Ziploc bag of “goodies” in my pants pocket and a smile on my face. Heck, why not throw a parade in my honor?
I can receive Get Well cards and flowers from all my fans. Dr. Milhouse can send me edible arrangements again. I can wave and throw kisses from my hospital room window. It’ll be special.
Lamar Odom must be one helluva guy for not a single person to crack a joke about how he was found and the condition he was found in. Or maybe the Kardashians paid to have them all removed from the internet.
Millions of us struggle with addiction. I’m not saying we should lambast the guy. Nor am I suggesting we shouldn’t feel sorry for a troubled soul who underachieved both on the basketball court and in his marital affairs. It just seems odd that Odom is getting a pass, that’s all. The candle light vigils outside the Bunny Ranch were a bit excessive.
Look, I wish Lamar Odom all the best for a speedy recovery. But we missed a golden opportunity here. Lamar Odom was found PASSED OUT AT THE BUNNY RANCH HOPPED UP ON COCAINE AND VIAGRA and all we could do was feel sorry for the guy?
I certainly hope we’re not getting soft, America. No pun intended.