The agony of the winning wager never placed

StevieI live my life by the Stevie Ray Vaughn rule.

The Stevie Ray Vaughn rule is as such.  In 1990, I was in New Orleans for their annual Jazz & Heritage Festival.  Lacking funds, I opted not to go the final day of the concert.  Stevie Ray Vaughn was the headliner.  He died in a helicopter crash three months later.

These are regrets in life I’d rather not have.

The same can be said with wagers.  If you have a hunch, it’s often best to just go with it as long as you’re wagering wisely and responsibly.

The following gut-punch of a story tells of a hunch not carried through with, a wager not placed and two underdogs that would have paid… well, you’ll just wait to find out how much to share in the agony.

Let’s let the pain simmer a little bit, shall we?

Early Saturday afternoon, I messaged my current gambling partner in crime, Dr. Milhouse.  We had a decent weekend betting the NFL two Sundays so we had some coin to spare.

On a whim, I looked up what Ronda Rousey’s opponent was getting as an underdog.  The line on Holly Holm was coming back at +1000, which means ten times your money.

Milhouse scoffed at the idea.

“No chance,” he wrote back, in response to my suggestion.  “It’ll be over in the first.”

Rousey Holm stats

Now, I wasn’t looking to put crazy money on the fight but when I see 10 to 1 odds, I like to take a shot, even if it’s for small change.

Here’s my thinking.

First off, I had heard that Holm was a boxer.  She was also undefeated.  But beside all that, ten to one tells me that if Rousey fought this woman ten times, she would beat her ten times.  This, ladies and gentlemen, is how I like to make my money.  That’s why they play the games, right?

So I didn’t push the idea, thinking perhaps, Milhouse was right and my money was better saved for a wager far more likely to hit.

Arkansas beats LSUHours later, he sent another text saying “Throwing this out there.  Arkansas +210 over LSU.”

Now, I was busy at work and hadn’t done much research on that football game.  I didn’t even know where it was being played.  Here’s what I did know.  That game could have gone two ways.  LSU was either going to destroy Arkansas and exact revenge for the beat down they took to the hands of Alabama last week, or they would have been so distraught by that loss that they laid an egg entirely.

My quick response to Milhouse was this… and read carefully.

I replied “Only if I can parlay it with the fight”

For you gambling newbies, a parlay is when you bet two teams together.  You increase your payout but both teams have to win.

In this case, they did.

Milhouse never replied but this is a wager I would have probably bet about five dollars on just to have some action, just for shits and giggles, just to see what it would have paid out if it hit.

Milhouse didn’t place the wager.

It hit.

By my calculations, the wager Arkansas-Holly Holm parlay to win would have paid out nearly 35 to 1.  That minimal five dollar bet would have paid out $175!

At about 12:54 am, while I’m knee deep in customers shouting my name and demanding whiskey, I received another text, this one all in caps.

OH. MY. GOD.

ROUSEY GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.

Rousey knocked out

I felt sick to my stomach.

And so it goes.

I’ve written about wagers won.  I’ve written about wagers lost.  Perhaps the most painful of all are the winning wagers not placed.

The cursed Stevie Ray Vaughn rule.

Those who taught me how to gamble taught me well.  With a limited bankroll, you don’t have to bet that much money to win big.  You can find an underdog or two you believe in, bet ‘em, and if they hit, well not only are you walking to the window to collect, but you can boast about how you called it all along.

So there ya’ go.  I called it.  And in some small way, this is my $175 worth.

Let it be known, I don’t (entirely) blame the unplaced wager on Milhouse.  The experienced gambler would tell me to open my own fucking account and stop relying on others to squash my hunches.

I kept the TV off that night when I got home.  I didn’t turn on SportsCenter as I usually do, knowing they’d lead with the Rousey story then go straight to the LSU loss.

I’d rather not relive it and just forget it ever happened.

Next time around, Milhouse will probably place that wager.  Until then, drinks are on him.

Fucker.

16 thoughts on “The agony of the winning wager never placed

  1. Ouch!

    We all have our Stevie Ray Vaughn moments honey. ( sorry) Mine was turning down tkts to see the Beatles at Shea Stadium w/ friends from my HS. I remember saying ” I’ll see ’em next time” … ARG! It hurts to even write that. Been kicking myself ever since … so I hear ya.

    As for the fight- guess I’m old school as I’m not comfortable watching women box- heck- I don’t like guys boxing either. Angry, hurtful and bloody. We have all too much of that in our world… I’ll stick to basketball, tennis, baseball & Olympics when I’m not listening to some classic Beatles music.

  2. Ronda Rousey is a judoka specialist and Kelly Holm was an unbeaten muy-thai specialist, but somehow idiots were still buying into the Rousey myth ? Now , everyone is talking about the bout, as being on the level the night Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson ? What frigging planet are they living on ? I have always maintained that until Ronda Rousey fought someone of the caliber of Gina Carano , she would sooner rather than later get caught out of her comfort zone . Saturday night was clearly the case in more ways than one.

  3. Surprised you got talked outta it. Big ‘dogs your style. I couldn’t pull the trigger either. The Sportscenters of the media pollute your rationale with over-the-top hype.

    For the rematch a few online spots opened RR @-3-1. Holm has been bet down to 3-2. Missed the boat again.

  4. My SRV moment was leaving the Dodgers game early a few years back.
    ….The one where they hit 4 straight HR’s and Namar popped a walk off in the 11th. Only the greatest game ever…the whole reason you buy a ticket in the first place. Worst part is some heavy set Mexican fellow stood up pointing his index finger in my grill and told me, “Don’t leave man, it ain’t over” as I was exiting. I scoffed as I strolled past and replied, “yeah it is”.

    I mean, the Dodgers had loaded the bases with no outs and promptly fucked that up, so I was disgusted as I left.

    Didn’t find out the outcome until I got to work the next day as the receptionist asked me how the game was with a weird giddiness. I said, “It sucked, they blew it”.

    As her face dropped, almost turning white she said, “Oh no honey…You need to go check your computer”. Needless to say, I’ve never left an event early since.

    Didn’t see Rousey get Buster Douglased but the memes I got via text let me know that I missed a doosie. Best one was Bill Cosby with his fingertips together and a wry smile saying:

    Rhonda Rousey got knocked out?

    I’ll be right there.

    In the spirit, I should go to Vegas and drop a hundy on the Lakers to win it all this year…

    Or not.

  5. Although I despise the GM, 5Dimes.com. Reduced vig and all kinds of props. The GM named Tony is a tyrant. I’m sure u wouldn’t have any problems with him unless you win over 40k. Really!!

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  7. Pingback: SportsChump Summer Concert Series, Part IV: The Beatles at Shea Stadium (thanks to Ron Howard) | Sports Chump

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