I’ve already discussed how the NFL could make the halftime show far more appealing to everyone with any sort of musical sense. Roger Goodell just hasn’t returned my calls.
I actually have a friend who’s big into Coldplay. It strains our relationship. He is a nice guy and all but I just can’t take him seriously nor can I trust anything he ever says about music knowing that he’s jammed to their entire collection on compact disc. He might even own a t-shirt. Seriously, how is this band so popular if everybody hates them so much?
Well, with over 25,000 responses to the hashtag reported, it looks like I’m not alone in my bewilderment. Since we’ve now resorted to bashing the halftime show before it’s even started, here’s a look at some of the more imaginative suggestions to keep us entertained between Super Bowl 50’s second and third quarters. Kudos to Comedy Central’s Chris Hardwick and @midnight for coming up with the idea in the first place!
And now… on to the suggestions.
Cam and Peyton lip sync battle #BetterHalftimeShows
Seeing Janet Jackson’s other nipple? #BetterHalftimeShows
Literally anyone other than coldplay #BetterHalftimeShows
Making a sandwich #BetterHalftimeShows
#BetterHalftimeShows reruns of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross.
Bill Cosby “How to Get Laid in 20 Minutes” Seminar #BetterHalftimeShows
Sarah Palin stars on “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” #BetterHalftimeShows
Make Broncos from Denver play actual Panthers from the Carolinas.
Smashing pumpkins…and by that, I mean Gallagher. #BetterHalftimeShows
James Earl Jones does @taylorswift13 shake it off in spoken word. #BetterHalftimeShows
Concussion: The Musical #BetterHalftimeShows
5 people in the stadium are picked at random, and the first one to name three Coldplay songs wins $1 million #BetterHalftimeShows
Nfl players spelling bee #BetterHalftimeShows
O.J.Simpson memorabilia scavenger hunt #betterhalftimeshows
Counting Crowe. Its a Counting Crows tribute band but they’re dressed & sound like Russell Crowe characters #BetterHalftimeShows
All NFL players with domestic abuse charges get tasered for charity.
Mexican wrestling, since it will be illegal by next year’s game after President Trump takes over. #BetterHalftimeShows
Watching the Caitlyn Jenner operation #BetterHalftimeShows #PointsMe
#BetterHalftimeShows Actually teaching dogs how to play poker
Ted Cruz Kissing Booth #BetterHalftimeShows
#BetterHalftimeShows @midnight Maury Povich reading DNA results to the Players.
Republican debate held at the Apollo.
Sumo Rodeo #BetterHalftimeShows
The Rhonda Rousey choke out a Kardashian for charity special. #BetterHalftimeShows @midnight
Kardashians on Ice #BetterHalftimeShows @midnight
Quarterbacks and punters play D & D with Bob Costas as the dungeon master @midnight #BetterHalftimeShows
Cast of Sesame Street performs classics by Lil Jon #BetterHalftimeShows
Coldplay leaving the stadium, to the sounds of “Na Na Na Na, hey hey hey, goodbye.” #BetterHalftimeShows
Seeing if Johnny Manziel can stay sober for the entire thirty minutes #BetterHalftimeShows
One word… Shatner!