Here’s hoping you’re having a better day than Robert Kraft: The Twitterverse strikes back

I woke up from a peaceful nap Friday afternoon to hear breaking news that Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots and proud owner of six Super Bowl rings, was somehow involved in a South Florida prostitution and sex trafficking ring.  I bet this was news most Patriots fans wish they had slept through as well.

Local police uncovered that Kraft was among a number of men who frequented this massage parlor in exchange for sexual favors.  According to the police reports, Kraft went twice… and there is video.  Rest assured TMZ is working overtime to bring you all the news the NFL is not fit to print.

While sex trafficking is no laughing matter, Robert Kraft getting involved in a prostitution ring that involves sex trafficking in a town that Donald Trump pretty much owns sure the hell is.  Or at least Twitter thought so.

Here are some of the more humorous Tweets that might even elicit (solicit?) a smile from the most ardent Patriots fan.

 

Cousin Sal@TheCousinSal

BREAKING: Robert Kraft found not guilty as a result of the NFL’s new Tug Rule.

 

Sarah Spain@SarahSpain

I look forward to all the Patriot fan bloggers boldly offering up their own sex crimes in solidarity with Robert Kraft.

 

m i t h‏ @ManInTheHoody

i feel bad for the guy that has to tell trump robert kraft was arrested by jupiter police and then spend all morning explaining that jupiter police isnt part of space force

 

Nick Jack Pappas@Pappiness

Robert Kraft: – 2001 Super Bowl Ring – 2003 Super Bowl Ring – 2004 Super Bowl Ring – 2014 Super Bowl Ring – 2016 Super Bowl Ring – 2018 Super Bowl Ring – 2019 Prostitution Ring

 

Clay Travis‏@ClayTravis

If I were Robert Kraft I would sign Colin Kaepernick today. You go from the guy busted for paying for sex to a media hero in an instant.

 

Just Bill‏ @WilliamAder

Turns out Robert Kraft isn’t against all kneeling.

 

Tom Segura‏@tomsegura

I gave Robert Kraft a blowjob for no money.

 

Brian Krassenstein‏ @krassenstein

BREAKING: President Trump tells reporters that he’s “surprised” to see Robert Kraft charged with soliciting prostitution You know what I’m ‘surprised’ about? Why a serial alleged sex predator like Trump, who admitted to sex assault, is President of the United States of America.

 

Boogie2988 @ SocalRetroGamingExpo‏ @Boogie2988

This story about robert kraft probably wont have a… happy ending.

 

JRehling‏ @JRehling

Robert Kraft paid $90. Donald Trump paid $290,000. The Art of the Deal.

 

Jordan Ruddy‏ @Rustyyy_513

Live look at Robert Kraft

 

Jack McGuire‏ @JackMacCFB

“Robert Kraft is not the biggest name involved”

 

ChrisHumpherys‏ @SportsChump

I love the fact that when Robert Kraft eventually returns to Gillette Stadium, the crowd will be essentially applauding a well-needed hand job.

  

Eric Stangel@EricStangel

BREAKING: Robert Kraft has also been written out of the final two episodes of Empire.

 

Clemson Carl‏ @ClemsonCarl

Live look at Robert Kraft

 

CJB@Terggggg

Robert Kraft being arrested is being celebrated like Christmas Morning in my Buffalo office lol

 

ChrisHumpherys‏ @SportsChump

The Robert Kraft scandal raises an interesting question. Which is more enjoyable: a presidential pardon or a hand job from a stranger?

 

Seth Hoyle‏ @sethwhoyle

Everyone needs to calm down Bob Kraft was just trying to get his

 

Ronald Funches@RonFunches

The video of Robert Kraft paying for a blowjob is the only proof we’ve ever gotten on trickle down economics.

 

brady  😎‏ @Pebbut

Robert Kraft is cheating on Tom Brady with prostitutes. Unbelievable

 

Chicken@DriedChicken

This image is somewhat relevant again #RobertKraft

 

Kimtopher‏ @kimtopher22

Who’s Bob Kraft? Is macaroni and cheese in danger?

 

Parag Dave@myPARAGative

Tom Brady = DeflateGate

Bill Belichick = SpyGate

Robert Kraft = TailGate

 

Amazin Mets‏ @los_mets

Bob Kraft paid more for a handjob then the Mets will ever pay for players in the offseason

 

Felonious Munk will beat you tf up‏Verified account @Felonious_munk

Robert Kraft set white billionaires back.

 

Cian@Cianaf

Bob Kraft. The Patriot way.

6 thoughts on “Here’s hoping you’re having a better day than Robert Kraft: The Twitterverse strikes back

  1. Old rich white men’s club moto: Abusing slaves for over 300 years. Sorry, for some reason I can’t think of anything funny to say about this subject. The punishment should fit the crime.

  2. I had a thought tonight, Bleed.

    Kraft should just blame Manti Te’o’s girlfriend.

    Oh wait, there’s video.

    Here’s hoping TMZ doesn’t release it.

    Did you hear he was in and out of there in about 15 minutes. Fucker’s more efficient than Tom Brady.

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