As all of you know, I work in a bar and sell drinks for a living. As many of you also know, and have witnessed firsthand, I work in a high-volume bar which means I sell a LOT of drinks for a living.
And of course, as all those of you who live outside the immediate Tampa Bay area are probably tired of hearing, I live in town with so much bling, we can barely stand the shine. Our “sleepy” little city comprised incorrectly of mostly transplants is commonly referred to as “Champa Bay” these days thanks to the collection of sports titles we currently hold in our possession. In fact, we have so many trophies, we toss them sometimes damagingly from boat to boat along the Hillsborough River willy-nilly. I mean, that’s what they’re there for, right?
Last season, in the corona-contained bubble, the NHL darling Tampa Bay Lightning broke their multi-year draught and brought the Stanley Cup home for the first time since 2004. It was, and still is, a glorious time to be a Bolts fan. This year, the Cup didn’t have to travel far as our beloved Lightning repeated as Stanley Cup Champions. More on this later.
We also currently own the Lombardi Trophy (Buccaneers), an American League pennant (Rays) and an Eastern Conference USL Finals (Rowdies). Yes, this is me talking about soccer.
To commemorate our Lightning’s historical accomplishments (only 8 other NHL franchises have repeated as Stanley Cup champions), Coors Light jumped at the opportunity to sell some beer here in Tampa which, to be fair, isn’t all that difficult. If I can sell beer, so can anyone.
Coors Light’s latest promotion, called Champions Ice, is a lager made from actual ice that the Stanley Cup Final was played on. This is not an entirely unique concept. In 2006, the Florida Gators won their first ever basketball national championship, doing so in Indianapolis. To celebrate, they took the entire floor back with them and put it in their home arena: the O’Connell Center. But they didn’t drink the floor they played on. That would just be silly, if not downright splintering.
However, Lightning fans can now do just that. Channeling our inner Drunken Kucherov, Lightning fans can go into select venues and drink beer made with the tears of real Canadiens! Too soon, Patrice? I even know a place where you can get some while supplies last but before we get our pint on, here’s your task should you choose to accept it.
Champions Ice tastes like victory and, not coincidentally, Coors Light. The problem is Champions Ice doesn’t grab me nearly as much as the final seconds of a Stanley Cup victory. That’s where you come in, my dearest readers.
Prove to me that you are more creative than the marketing execs inside Coors Light’s board room and you too can win fabulous prizes. In the comments section below, the reader to come up with the best marketing slogan for Coors Light’s new Champions Ice campaign will receive one free pint of said beer served up by yours truly, a Lightning t-shirt with your logo printed squarely across the chest and the right to call yourself Stanley Cup champion. Beer breath not included.