Tales from the Hard Rock, Vols. 1 and 2
February 4th, 2012 by Chris HumpherysThis post goes to show that lightning can strike twice… if you’re lucky enough.
Months ago, I was going to write a feel-good story about friendship, gambling and how SportsChump finally got the better end of a woman scorned. (Hey, it only took 43 years, right?)
My birthday fell back in July. I was blessed to be surrounded by family and friends who all came to share the love. The drinks were flowin’, the food was a-plenty and the karaoke was abundant and atonal.
After a long night’s work, my partner in karaoke crime, Pure Prairie Dave, and I hit the local Hard Rock for a deliciously fattening, chicken-fried steak breakfast and a few hands of Let It Ride poker. His inebriated wife-to-be came along for the ride.
We debated whether or not to take her, knowing either choice would ultimately be the wrong one. Gambling is a time-consuming activity. Had she not accompanied us, his phone would have been ringing off the hook with her angrily awaiting his return home. Had she come with, which she did, she would have also complained… which she did.
After a solid hour or so of celebratory morning champagne and the inevitable ebbs and flows of the poker table, our chip stacks were hovering around even, give or take our bar tab. His fiancée lay not-so-pleasantly asleep in the car.
She approached the table minutes later, still tipsy from the karaoke-fest hours earlier and demanded to be taken home. I don’t mean to imply that she caused a scene but let’s just say car keys were flung halfway across the casino floor.
Recognizing the urgency of the matter, Pure Prairie Dave decided it was best to call it a night. I understood, having been there myself on occasion. As the happy couple bid the table a fond farewell and stumbled towards the exit, I stayed at the table to press my luck.
Now, for those of you who have never played Let It Ride, the game is actually quite simple. Each player is dealt three cards face down. The objective is to land a winning hand with the assistance of the communal flop. A pair of tens is the lowest winning hand and pays even money. Better hands obviously pay a higher multiplier on your original bet. There are five bets, two of which you can pull back at your leisure as the hand progresses.
Well, the very next hand, I was dealt pocket tens, so I knew I already had a winner before the dealer’s flop. In the distance, I could see the loving couple stumble out the casino door. As the game suggests, I let it ride.
The next card came. Another ten. Trips and I was good to go, knowing a fourth ten would pay huge with the amount of chips I had bet that hand.
The fourth ten hit and so did I, to the tune of over a grand. Happy be me!
Well, the same thing happened again last Wednesday, with the same loving couple after another night of karaoke bliss. This time, Mrs. Pure Prairie Dave sat at the table, playing alongside us and learning the game as she went.
The night, er… morning was going well, with all of us breaking even until… straight flush (9-10-J of clubs) in the pocket and an off-suited 7 and 8 on the flop, making SportsChump the big winner in the casino once again.
Now, of course, I don’t condone gambling outside of someone’s limits, always know your bankroll, but Let It Ride is a great way to kill time if you have a couple hundred bucks to spare. The payback can be huge. Just know what you’re doing.
It also helps to have a little luck on your side.
Tags: Hard Rock, karaoke, Let It Ride, Pure Prairie Dave
Posted in card table, Featured, Life of Sports Chump | 5 Comments »
Will the real Cal Ripken please stand up?
February 3rd, 2012 by Chris HumpherysWow, I can’t believe I just realized this. I guess I’m a little slow on the draw. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Baltimore Orioles, Cal Ripken, CBS, Jerry Springer, Magic Johnson, Same Name, Steve Wilkos
Posted in Baseball Diamond, Featured, Screen | 19 Comments »
Six surefire ways to fix the Orlando Magic
February 1st, 2012 by Chris Humpherys“I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”
-Peter Finch as Howard Beale in Network
That’s it. I’m fed up!
I have been a die-hard Orlando Magic fan for years, supporting the team through thick and thin… but these days, even I have seen enough. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Amal McCaskill, Amway, Boston Celtics, Brandon Bass, Brian Evans, Brooks Thompson, Carlos Boozer, Chicago Bulls, Chris Duhon, David Vaughn, Deron Williams, Doc Rivers, Dwight Howard, Geert Hammink, Gene Hackman, Gilbert Arenas, Glen Davis, Hedo Turkoglu, Hoosiers, Jameer Nelson, Jason Richardson, Joakim Noah, Johnny Taylor, Larry Hughes, Luol Deng, NBA, New Jersey Nets, Orlando Magic, Otis Smith, Quentin Richardson, Rodney Dent, Stan Van Gundy, Stephen A Smith, Walt Disney
Posted in Featured, Hardwood, Life of Sports Chump | 28 Comments »
Blake Griffin dunks violently over Kendrick Perkins (video)
January 31st, 2012 by Chris Humpherys
I’ve seen dunks and I’ve seen dunks, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anything thing quite like this. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Blake Griffin, Kendrick Perkins, Los Angeles Clippers, Oklahoma City Thunder, video
Posted in Featured, Hardwood, Screen | 30 Comments »
Who needs heavyweight boxing when we have Federer, Nadal and Djokovic?
January 30th, 2012 by Chris HumpherysSoon after his retirement, basketball junkies everywhere craved the second coming of Michael, so much so that we dubbed every player after him who could jump out of the gym “The Next Jordan.” Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Baltimore Ravens, Boston Red Sox, Don King, George Foreman, Joe Frazier, Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, New York Yankees, Novak Djokovic, Phil Mickelson, Pittsburgh Steelers, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Tiger Woods
Posted in Baseball Diamond, Featured, First serves, Hardwood, Pigskin, Punches | 40 Comments »
Kyle Williams and Billy Cundiff go back to school: Another work of complete and total fiction
January 26th, 2012 by Chris Humpherys
Professor Buckner stands at the head of the classroom as his students file in. The school bell rings, papers shuffle, pencils get sharpened, class is ready to begin. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Baltimore Ravens, Bill Buckner, Billy Cundiff, Chris Webber, Dan O'Brien, Earnest Byner, Greg Norman, Houston Oilers, Jean Van De Velde, Kyle Williams, Mitch Williams, NFL, Steve Bartman
Posted in Featured, Pigskin | 29 Comments »
Counterpoint: An American football fan talks Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Glazer family and ownership in professional sport
January 24th, 2012 by Chris Humpherys
At the end of every NFL season, only one fan base is truly happy, leaving 31 others to wallow in the memory of what could have been. Those feelings are compounded exponentially if you root for a team which never had a chance to begin with. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Joel Glazer, Manchester United, NFL, Raheem Morris, Raymond James Stadium, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Posted in Featured, Life of Sports Chump, Pigskin | 33 Comments »
Point: A Scottish football fan talks Manchester United, the Glazer family and ownership in professional sport
January 24th, 2012 by Alan Dymock
Soccer teams, at least in the UK, come under financial threat with worrying regularity. Money turns your club inside out, guts it of its most valuable assets –which are what the fans tend to identify with most –and see what can turn a profit while the show still kicks on. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Cristiano Ronaldo, English Premier League, FC United of Manchester, George Gillett, John Henry, Liverpool FC, Malcolm Glazer, Manchester United, Newton Heath, Tom Hicks
Posted in Featured, Pigskin | 8 Comments »
Thoughts from AFC/NFC Championship Weekend complete with updated contest standings
January 23rd, 2012 by Chris Humpherys
Wow, what a Sunday of football! Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: AFC Championship Game, Baltimore Ravens, Billy Cundiff, Joe Flacco, Jr., Kyle Williams, Lardarius Webb, Lawrence Tynes, Lee Evans, New England Patriots, New York Giants, NFC Championship Game, San Francisco 49ers, Super Bowl XLVI, Ted Ginn, Tom Brady, Victor Cruz
Posted in Featured, Life of Sports Chump, Pigskin | 28 Comments »
Second Annual NFL Playoff and Super Bowl Pick Em Contest
January 18th, 2012 by Chris Humpherys
We had so much fun with this contest last year that we’re hosting it again in 2012.
Plus I like giving stuff away. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Baltimore Ravens, Chicago Bears, Green Bay Packers, New England Patriots, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFL, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Fransicso 49ers, Super Bowl, Super Bowl contest
Posted in Featured, Life of Sports Chump, Pigskin | 89 Comments »
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