Albert Einstein is credited with defining insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If that’s the case, I must be a lunatic for repeatedly yelling instructions at my golf ball in mid-flight Continue reading
Phony I came home the other morning to find a phone book sitting on my front door step. They’ve gotten considerably smaller over the years. I grew up in New York City. Back then, we had three separate phone books Continue reading
NFL tight end Kellen Winslow was recently caught masturbating in his Escalade in the middle of a Target parking lot. And I thought I was excited about the playoffs!
CJ Isherwood / Foter.com / CC BY-SA Long known as a fascinating and ideal tropical vacation destination, the 300-island nation of Fiji hosts over half-a-million tourists each year. For the most part, these overstressed vacationers become Zen-like beach bunnies, ambling Continue reading
In only a month, my quest is complete, my Holy Grail has been attained, total glory stenciled onto my scorecard. Where to begin?
“Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me.”
My morning started out like any other. A late night karaoke-fest followed up by a solid night’s sleep, then another nap after moving from bed to sofa. The Chump likes to be well-rested before starting his day.
Very few men have ever won a PGA Championship. Even fewer have grabbed their wife’s ass for millions to see immediately after doing so. Suddenly, Jason Dufner has become my new favorite golfer.
“I actually think the back is playing a little bit easier.”
Old guys spend a lot of their time naked. If you’ve ever visited a South Florida nursing home or your local YMCA, you’d know that.