Old, rich white guys doing whatever the hell they want

Deep in the heart of Southeastern Florida, a seventy-something year old, white billionaire walks into an Asian massage parlor looking for some relief. In case you’re not familiar with what goes on inside these “massage” parlors, the word massage is Continue reading

The fault in our expectations and the waning careers of Carmelo Anthony, Vince Carter and Dwight Howard

Carmelo Anthony is about to become a Houston Rocket.  At 34 years of age, he is about to embark on his 17th NBA season with his fourth different team.  Despite coming off a career low in scoring, after so many Continue reading

What Cavs won’t do, do for Love

I love NBA trade rumors.  To paraphrase Borat, they make me very excite. Juicy NBA rumors, well, they’re like my stories, the jostling of rosters, a virtual fantasy team turned reality, sometimes worthwhile but far more frequently failing to live Continue reading

Derrick Rose has gone missing and other Knickerbocker tales of woe

“Bueller?  Bueller?  Frye?” -Ben Stein taking roll call in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off “Murray.  Present.” – Rhys Darby as Murray Hewitt taking roll call in Flight of the Conchords   You might remember this for it wasn’t all that long Continue reading

Applying Simple Laws of Physics to Colin Kaepernick’s Anthem Protest

“To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction” Isaac Newton Sir Isaac Newton probably didn’t have Colin Kaepernick in mind when he discovered his third law of physics but damn if he wasn’t right on the money.  For Continue reading

Ellen DeGeneres ruins the Olympic Games and other racist tales of woe: A SportsChump-Dubsism Production

By J-Dub and SportsChump Let’s just cut to the race here. Somehow, the following Tweet was deemed “racist” by the PC police. Think what you will about this, but don’t surprised that both J-Dub and SportsChump have some Olympic-sized opinions Continue reading

Aussie, Aussie Aussie!!! Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!!!

Please allow me to play the role of the ugly American and express my unbridled frustration with what happened last night and Team USA almost losing to Australia. Here’s your chance to totally call me out on my reactionary nature Continue reading

NBA’s big guns gun down gun violence for the holidays

Not long ago, in the wake of the Ray Rice domestic violence incident, the NFL ran a series of public service announcements entitled “No More.”  In conjunction with the Joyful Heart Foundation, a slew of present and former NFL greats Continue reading