Chumpservations, Vol. 30: Phone books, sneaker pimps, oddball gratuities and the world’s most famous Heimlich

Phony I came home the other morning to find a phone book sitting on my front door step.  They’ve gotten considerably smaller over the years. I grew up in New York City.  Back then, we had three separate phone books Continue reading

Chumpservations, Vol. 29: Tweets, death threats, fake penises, chicken mcnuggets and dookie chains

Remember the old joke about the guy who walks into the doctor’s office and says “Hey, Doc. It hurts when I do this,” only to have the doctor advise him to simply stop doing it?  Apparently, Darrelle Revis isn’t familiar Continue reading

Chumpservations, Vol. 25: Cable conglomerates, blue rinsers and the cure for tartar buildup

Hello, Friend Am I the only one creeped out by Brighthouse Network’s newest ad campaign?  At first, they were kitschy, mysterious. A lone woman, riding slowly up an escalator or a guy on his fishing boat in the middle of Continue reading

Chumpservations, Vol. 23: Roadside tapestries, shaving cream and other assorted sundries

I consider myself to be a fairly competent person.  I know my limitations, that there are certain things I can and cannot do.  For example, I can’t hang a ceiling fan.  In fact, I can’t really fix anything.  But I Continue reading

Chumpservations, Vol. 21: The Fighter, Spencer Whipple, Barry Bonds, spam and having fun with parallel parking

What do spam, Barry Bonds, Spencer Whipple, parallel parking and “The Fighter” all have in common? They’re all on my mind, that’s what. Continue reading

Chumpservations, Vol. 20: Carmelo to the Knicks, NBA trades galore, cell phone downgrades, girl scout cookies… and puppies?

What do NBA trades, Carmelo Anthony, Girl Scout cookies, cell phones and puppies all have in common? Continue reading