This week’s caption contest honors the flippant, gun-toting Gilbert Arenas

You know you run a sports website when your mom calls and asks you “So… what do you think of that Arenas character?” Mom, you make me proud.

For those of you unfamiliar with the goings-on in the NBA these days, Gilbert Arenas, aka Agent Zero, aka the Hibachi, allegedly brought firearms into the Verizon Center last month, then wielded them with teammate Javaris Crittenton over a gambling dispute. Details are still unclear, yet the stern hand of Commissioner Stern has suspended Arenas indefinitely until the matter is resolved and the investigation concluded.

Before the suspension came down, however, Arenas was still allowed to play. The other night, in pregame warm-ups, Arenas was photographed making light of the incident, pointing his fingers as if they were guns and shooting at his teammates.

Not the brightest thing an NBA player has ever done.

(Ironically, Arenas plays for the Wizards, who in 1997 changed their name from the Washington Bullets because the NBA didn’t like the imagery the name portrayed)

So, in honor of Gilbert’s stupidity, we proudly present the decade’s first Caption Contest, courtesy of Getty Images.

As usual, the winner will get his or her name up in lights and very possibly an official t-shirt… if I can ever get the darned things printed.


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40 Replies to “This week’s caption contest honors the flippant, gun-toting Gilbert Arenas”

  1. Let’s get things started, shall we?

    She-do-BOP-BOP-BOP, she-do-BOP… Roll Call!

    My name is Gilbert…. YEA!

    I got some guns… YEA!

    I brought ’em with me… YEA!

    Now my career is done… ROLL CALL!!!!

  2. Sorry – didn’t read your whole blog entry. Obviously my comment now appear derivative. 🙂

  3. That’s ok, Unc.

    I just wanted to make sure everyone who read knew about the name change to give them some…. ammunition.

    Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

  4. I’s got a gun what’s you gots ?

    The fallout from this Leavitt thing is now being ratcheted up a notch or two. Especially in light of what took place with Mike Leach.

    Courtesy of the Tampa Tribune – Joe Henderson

    Leavitt probe drags, McGriff moves on and other notables ..

    A number of you disagreed with me last month when I wrote that the University of South Florida needed to quickly get to the bottom of allegations that head football coach Jim Leavitt put a hand around a player’s throat and struck him in the face.

    My point was that the longer it took to resolve the issue, the tougher it would be for USF to get control of the story. Without a decision, I wrote, the void would be filled with more speculation and opinion. There would be the likelihood of more stories, too. Just because USF was investigating didn’t mean everyone else would just sit back and wait for an answer.

    So let’s review what’s happened at USF, shall we?

    The investigation grinds on. It could end today, or it could end in a month. No one knows.

    Click to read in is entirety

    This from an ESPN blog by Brian Bennett

    The South Florida investigation into allegations of player abuse by coach Jim Leavitt is now stretching into its fourth week. Meanwhile, another player has come forward to back the original accusation by walk-on Joel Miller.

    Receiver Colby Erskin tells Fanhouse’s Brett McMurphy — who broke the original story — that Miller had told him Leavitt grabbed and slapped Miller at halftime of the Louisville game. However, Erskin was not in the locker room at the time.

    Erskin’s father said he decided to speak out “when he learned Leavitt cleaned out his son’s locker Monday and threw the contents, including Colby’s personal items and International Bowl jersey, into a trash bin. Equipment manager Jeremy Lees told Colby Erskin that Leavitt had personally removed everything. Colby said he found his belongings in a trash bin in USF’s football equipment room.”

    Joel Miller and his father have publicly rescinded the original accusations. But Miller’s high school coach told McMurphy the original report was accurate.

    This, clearly, needs a resolution quickly. If South Florida decides to make a change, it’s getting late in the game to find suitable head coaching candidates. If not, then this story can only hurt recruiting. The investigation needs to be complete and accurate, obviously, but a month should be enough time to wrap this up one way or another.

    Again click on link to read article in
    its entirety

    USF had better quash this and put this ‘baby’ to bed real fast before they have a real friggin’ mess on their hands !

    Alan Parkins

  5. Here’s the link to the Bennett piece , click here .

    This isn’t going away anytime soon and Leavitt’s arrogance and denial of the event aren’t helping his case.

    Alan Parkins

  6. as the jester holds center stage
    his shows his court the latest rage
    as they all are above the law
    he grins and does the D.C. draw

  7. Chris

    This thing is far from over it’s brewing in a pot like one of those Paula Dean recipes. Tasty on the outside but it’s going to get a hell of lot better once the meal is actually ready. Then everyone can dig in.

    Alan Parkins 🙂

  8. Just looking at how Paula Dean cooks makes my cholesterol level climb.

    And thanks for mentioning Paula Dean for the first time on this site, Al.

    Now I KNOW I’ve hit the big time… and by big, that is in no way a crack on her waistline.

  9. Hahahan owns “Tombstone” on DVD, video, memorized the book and has a Sam Elliott fathead on his bedroom wall. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I prefer the Kevin Costner “Wyatt Earp” film.

    Paula Dean got hit in the face with a ham by someone unloading a truck at a “Feed the Hungry” event in Atlanta.

    Your post has hit a new low,

  10. Chris

    So you’re telling me if the price is right you wouldn’t ‘dry hump’ Paula Dean ? You jest sir ! Go on give a try , you might even learn to like it. Dry humping that is . LOL, LOL,LOL !!!

    Championship game ? That thing looks as if it could go either way. My head tells me Longhorns but my heart definitely says ‘bama. So I’ll go with ‘bama . I just like McElroy and Ingram to hold up the deal and give Saban a second national title with a different team.

    Alan Parkins

  11. Chris

    So <Weis is joining the Chiefs as an offensive coordinator ?
    Won’t that now make the Chiefs even worse off than they already are ? It’s not as if the Irish were all that much to write home about.

    Other than Golden Tate they had absolutely nothing on offense.
    Please don’t bring up Jimmy Clausen as if he’s all that. He’s still looking to lace up his own jock-strap.

    Alan Parkins

  12. Chris

    Great win last night for ‘bama over the ‘Hook ’em Horns. Though the theatrics with the Longhorns’ backup qb was fun to watch. You just knew at the end of the day that Saban’s boys had done just enough for the win.

    Have you as such been watching any of the commissioned film documentaries by ESPN ? I streamed one of the episodes last night. It was on the Terrapins’ ,a href=””>Len Bias . Man that story had tragedy written all over it from start to finish. Even upon his death the family was struck his family was struck by even more tragedy when he was younger brother Jay was shot to death in a jealous rage by a guy who thought he’d been ‘hitting’ on his girlfriend. When all it was – the fact that the two knew each other from high school and he was saying hello to her at the counter in the store where she worked. How crazy is that ?

    It’s unfortunate that people never got to see Bias play in the NBA. It was said at the time he and Jordan were on par with one another at the college level. And when he was drafted by the Celtics , everyone was waiting to see him take it all to the next level. Man, had he not died under such tragic circumstances who knew what might have been ?

    Alan Parkins

  13. “Break yourself, fool!”

    “If we gave him the Red Ryder, he would’ve shot someone’s eye out.”

    “King Kong ain’t got nuthin’ on me.”

    “I’m gonna be a cowboy, baby,
    Ridin’ all night cause I sleep all day.”

    Are guns really male compensation? ‘Cause his are invisible and there are more than one. Hmmmm.

  14. Chris

    In the office going over some prospectuses when I hear on the Ron Diaz Ian Beckles’ show on WDAE that Leavitt has been ‘fired’ by USF ?

    Courtesy of the NJ Star Ledger

    South Florida coach , Jim Leavitt fired for allegedly striking player

    South Florida coach Jim Leavitt has been fired for allegedly striking a player during a game this season, according to two reports.

    Both AOL Fanhouse and are reporting Friday morning that Leavitt has been fired by the university after an investigation into his conduct against special teams player Joel Miller during the Bulls’ November game against Louisville.

    Leavitt — the only coach that South Florida has had in its 13-year history — was told he was fired in a meeting Friday morning with the university’s president Judy Genshaft.

    According to Fanhouse, the results of the investigation will be released Friday.

    Leavitt’s $1.6 million salary made him the second-highest paid coach in the Big East conference, behind only Greg Schiano of Rutgers’ $2 million.

    The firing of Leavitt for the alleged striking of a player makes him the third coach since the end of the college football regular season to be fired for abusing a player. Kansas’ Mark Mangino was bought out of his contract in December after allegations from current and former players for his conduct towards them. Most recently, Mike Leach was fired by Texas Tech after it was discovered that he locked a concussed player in an electrical closet.

    South Florida finished the season 8-5 and won the International Bowl over Northern Illinois on Jan. 2.

    I don’t see that any of the local papers have the story in print as of yet.

    It seems guys like Leavitt and Leach are far too arrogant and stupid for their own good. Did I not tell you that there was more crap coming down the pike on this story ? So said, so done .

    Alan Parkins

  15. Ath… wow, that was HARSH!!!

    I mean just because she likes a little butter in her cookin’… goodness.

    And personally, I’m more of an “Unforgiven” guy.

  16. Al… the game definitely could have gone either way.

    I’m not going to jump on the Texas apologist bandwagon but I do think the outcome would have been different had ShoulderBoy stayed in the game.

    Saban’s team bailed him out of a few special teams errors early. In the end, Bama’s running game was just way too much.

    Expect more of the same next season. I’m not looking forward to a young Gator team traveling to Tuscaloosa next October.

  17. Al… I disagree. The Chiefs have nowhere to go but up. Weis couldn’t make them any worse.

    And he’s already worked with Cassell in the past, hasn’t he? In New England?

  18. I think Mack Brown did the best he could under the circumstances. It may have taken him a little too long to adjust his playcalling to a young qb. The three and outs early were a little too much for them to recover from, and he seemed a little too timid to have his kid air it out.

    The kid showed poise late and might have a nice future in Austin.

    And yea, they did a great job with that Bias program. Most of the 30 for 30 episodes were great. I do believe that’s Bill Simmons’ project.

  19. Al… I’m trying to knock out a piece on the Leavitt situation now.

    Stay tuned.

    Wild news.

    Now I’ve heard the entire coaching staff will be fired as they were involved in the cover up.

  20. Chris

    Have you looked at the Chiefs’ roster ? There’s not that much talent there to begin with. I know that ex Pats’ GM Scott Pioli is there now as head of player personnel. But even he had something to work with when he was with the Pats. What’s there to work with now in Kansas , answer me that ?

    C’mon man as the guys at ESPN have been known to say.

    As for the Leavitt situation , who couldn’t see that steam roll of horse manure coming down to land right on top of him ? The guy was a complete a_s for not proffering up an apology to begin with. That’s all it’d have taken. But no he has to follow in the footsteps of that as_hole Mike Leach and think that he’s above the fray and runs the program.
    What a dick ?

    Of course the entire staff was in on it all. How else do you think it was kept on the down low for so long ?

    Dropped this piece about the death of former Terrapins’ star Len Bias.

    A Life Lost Too Soon Is God’s Way Of Using It As An Example For Others To Learn Something From ….

    Alan Parkins 🙂

  21. Al… KC made the investment in Cassell. He’s their guy. Now they want the fat man to coach him up. Seems like a fit. Might not work but is still seems like a fit.

    How soon til Leach, Mangino and Leavitt all find new gigs? And who would hire them?

  22. You put your right trigger finger in
    You put your right trigger finger out

    You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around
    That’s what it’s all about

  23. DB… I’m wanting to say corny.

    Ok, I’ll say it…. corny.

    So does everyone in college football breathe a sigh of relief now that Pete Carroll has left USC? That’s a HUGE hit.

    Early predictions for next year’s title game? Ohio State vs Bama.

    Be ready.

  24. Pingback: Sports Chump » Orlando Magic pull trigger on Gilbert Arenas trade.

  25. Pingback: Gilbert Arenas banned once again Caption Contest | Sports Chump

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