Random chumpservations, Vol. 7: Meryl Streep, Brett Favre, Prince and post office parking

meryl-streep1Streep vs. Streep

I’ve never been big on awards shows, particularly those of the Hollywood variety. I’ve just always felt they’re packed with stuffy, snobby, tuxedoed movie stars with whom I have absolutely nothing in common. Don’t get me wrong, I love movies. I just don’t need an awards ceremony to tell me what’s good and what’s not. Besides, they rarely honor comedies and I’m a comedy kind of guy. I figure we can all use a good laugh every now and then.

Anyway, I flipped over from the Orlando Magic game the other night to catch the Golden Globes and saw that Meryl Streep was nominated twice in the same category. Once for Julia & Julia and once for It’s Complicated, neither of which I have seen. An impressive feat even for Streep, although I still think her best performances were Sophie’s Choice and Kramer vs. Kramer.

Her dual nominations got me thinking. What if that night featured a tie between Streep… and Streep? Would she have split the award with herself? Did she prepare two speeches? Was Bud Selig at home watching and secretly rooting for a tie? If there had been a tie, would she have received two awards and is there a sports equivalent to this? Frank Robinson winning MVP in both American and National Leagues perhaps? Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders making both All-Star Game and Pro Bowl in the same year? Neither of those come close.

Furthermore, is Streep the Brett Favre of the acting community? Think about it. She and Favre both have the longevity. They both land key starring roles. They’re both historically among the best at their craft. And they can both cry on cue. I wonder if Streep wavers as much when deciding to accept a role.

prince-1984-purple-rain1Sign O’ The Times

Speaking of our boy Brett, I had an interesting thought after seeing Prince at last week’s Minnesota Vikings game. Can you imagine Brett Favre and Prince hanging out? Wouldn’t these be the two least likely dudes you’d expect to see spending time together? Both of them wearing purple, sitting outside a Minnesota café, people-watching, Brett drinking cold draft beer while Prince sips his mocha latte? Would Prince don his best purple Wranglers for the occasion? How many awkward moments of silence would take place between the two? And which one do you think would be more nervous about hanging out with the other? You’d have to think Prince, right?

Do you think Favre has ever purchased a Prince CD, and if so, which one? I would think everyone at one point in their life has popped Purple Rain into their CD player… or at least paused the part of the movie where Appolonia walks out of Lake Minnetonka butt naked.

If I Wanna Be Your Lover came on the radio while Favre was driving his pickup truck, would he turn it up, change the station or wince unknowingly wondering what the hell that noise was coming out of his radio? Did he laugh at Dave Chappelle’s Prince skit? Has he ever tapped his muddy work-boot to Raspberry Beret? I mean, if he’s hip to the soulful sounds of Pants on the Ground, you’d have to think he has a soft spot for Prince.

post-office-mail-trucks1Free Parking

I pulled into my local post office the other day to mail off a package. It was the middle of the afternoon, well after lunch so you wouldn’t expect there to be much traffic. As I pulled into the parking lot, there was a long line of cars ahead of me, leading out almost into the street. As it turned out the car causing the traffic jam was waiting for another car, parked right in front of the building, to leave so he could take his spot. Never mind that there were several other spots available a mere walking distance away, just not in that highly coveted front row.

The parked car finally left and the traffic-causer settled in to the relief of those idling behind him. As I finally inched closer to mail paydirt, the car in front of me did the exact same thing! He waited on another vehicle to pull out of the front row, even with several spaces available the next row over. The parking lot wasn’t that full, four rows of spaces, the farthest you’d possibly have to walk maybe 100 feet. It was a beautiful Florida day, not a rain cloud in the sky and a lovely day for a stroll.

I took a deep breath, successfully avoiding road rage and parked my car once everyone in front of me had finished playing Duck, Duck, Goose. As it turned out, I was inside the post office ahead of those jockeying for parking pole position in front of me. Guess they were only there for the parking spaces, not to actually conduct a postal transaction.

Readers, I plead to you. Be considerate towards your fellow driver. This isn’t Manhattan’s Upper West side where people wear their parking spaces like a badge of honor. Find the first available spot and let everyone get on with their lives. It’s okay to walk a little after parking your car. I’m pretty sure we all could use the exercise.

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26 Replies to “Random chumpservations, Vol. 7: Meryl Streep, Brett Favre, Prince and post office parking”

  1. Don’t you know that a lot of people think that they have the only car on the road? Most of these types are retired/unemployed, so they are in no hurry to get anywhere. They are probably the first to complain about the price of gas, yet there they are aimlessly Mr Magooing around town every day.

    Hopefully, Bret will join them in the very near future.

  2. Chris

    With the Post Office on the brink of financial ruin. What more can you expect ?

    As to the Hollywood diaspora and their backslapping self appreciation with the awards’ ceremonies. That’s just part and parcel of it all. How the hell can Avatar win for best movie when Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker was by far a better movie , is beyond me ! But then again what the hell does the Hollywood Foreign Press Association know about movies to begin with ?

    Come Oscar time it’ll be Streep and Bullock tussling it out for Best Actress honors . And more likely than not Clooney and Jeff Bridges in the male category.

    Alan Parkins

  3. Al… are you suggesting they were making a run at some used copy machines?

    I haven’t seen Hurt Locker but I know everyone raves about it. I haven’t seen Avatar either. I think that’ll be a rental at best.

  4. Along that vein, what’s the chance that Brett Favre has ever seen a Meryl Streep movie? Or that she has ever grooved to “1999” or donned a cheese hat? What’s the chance that Martha Coakley thinks that Curt Schilling is a Yankees fan (oops!)?

  5. Who is Meryl Streep? Guess I don’t watch many movies.

    Post office parking. I have noticed that too.

    What really gets my gander is inside the post office you have people that wait till they have 50 pkgs. to mail and you have to wait in line behind them since there is only one postal employee manning the counter. The other three are on their coffee break togehter.

  6. If Meryl,Brett,and Prince were having a beer together, who do you think would pick up the check?
    I have it on good authority that Brett’s favorite Prince song is When Doves Cry.

  7. Chris

    The Postmaster General might as well put on his fishing gear and leave a ‘Do Not Disturb Sign’ hanging outside the vast majority of post offices. Especially those in the rural areas. With the ‘net’ and broadband access who essentially uses the post office nowadays ?

    If you love CGI graphics and all of that crap then you’ll love ‘Avatar’. It hasn’t much of a storyline and is far too contrived for its own good. As imaginative a mind as James Cameron has. A five year old could’ve come up with something better. Other than Titanic what the hell has he really to shout about in terms of the movies he’s made ? The Terminator movies weren’t that good ! But I suppose that an inanimate Schwarzennegar is better than nothing at all.

    The Hurt Locker is one hell of a movie and it really captures the whole rigors of war and that of bomb explosive’s expert. Jeremy Renner and Anthony Mackie are terrific in the lead roles !

    How fu_ked up are the Glazer boys and what they’re now doing with the Bucs and Man Utd ? Did I not tell you that the family were having some major financial difficulties ?

    Dropped this with regard to Goodell and NFLPA Executive Director DeMaurice Smith’s meeting up on Capitol Hill as well as the mess that Man Utd now finds itself in because of Malcolm Glazer’s boys.

    No Good Can From It All …. When You Get Congress To Intervene In Sports With Regard To Labor Unrest …………..

    Alan Parkins

  8. Does the expression “going postal” ring a bell. Whenever possible, pay on line or stand on line. We can all use the extra exercise, if not, try patience.Ex-road rager-Pops

  9. Unc… apparently Larry is the only person here who HASN’T seen a Meryl Streep movie (see above).

    I can only assume that Streep isn’t avid enough of a sports fan to have even donned the foam cheese. I don’t see her funneling beers at your local tailgate. As opposed to Ashley Judd, insane Kentucky Wildcat fan, that has sported her blue proudly.

    I’m thinking after portraying Julia Child in one her latest, Streep would probably be able to put on quite the Super Bowl spread.

    Hoping I get an invite.

  10. Lar…

    I feel much more comfortable using the self-mail package machines at my local post office than I do the self-check out at the super market.

    Since when have we become fearful of human interaction? Was the seven dollars an hour we were paying these kids too much of an investment?

    Now please press 7 for any further sportschump commentary.

  11. Aer… I’m thinking Streep is more a chardonnay kinda girl. As is Prince.

    If I had to guess who’s got the most bank of the three, I’d say Prince.

    Just a hunch. Although Streep’s probably the best tipper.

  12. Al… I’m worried about what will become of some NFL teams who’s owners are more concerned with making a buck than putting a winning product on the field.

    If that ends up happening, I’m hoping Goodell will step in. It’s in the best interest of the league.


    Silly me, it was right under my nose.

    Streep winning both awards in that category would be like… Allen Iverson getting nominated as an All-Star this year in both the Eastern and Western Conferences. Except that Streep is obviously a lot more deserving.

  14. Chris

    Look at the mess that many of the professional franchises are in, within the Tampa area ? The Lightning didn’t have enough money to pay the salaries of the players as well as their administrative staff. And there’s now talk that they’ll be looking to trade Vinny Lecavalier. He’s the team’s best player but also their highest salaried one as well. So ergo they’ve have to do something in order to make themselves a bit more financially stable.

    Come the end of the season Oren Koules will have a ‘fire sale’ with regard to the roster.

    And the Rays are in a complete none solution as to what to do with regard to B J Upton .

    As we all know the Glazers have been continually lying as to their personal financial health and their franchises’ continued viability.

    Alan Parkins

  15. Ironically, Al, it wasn’t long ago that all teams in the area were solid. The Bucs were 9-3 before losing 4 straight and missing the playoffs, the Bulls were in the top 10 and the Lightning were solid before dismantling the team.

    Can the bay area claim the Magic as their own?

  16. Chris

    But as McGwire once said ….’ I’m not here to talk about the past as I want to think about the kids and their future ‘ ! What a load of hogwash that was !

    I don’t think that Tampa can rightfully claim the Magic as being one of ‘their very own. But anything is possible at a price .

    Courtesy of Roy Cummings of TBO.com

    Bucs Beat: Five players to watch at the Senior Bowl

    TAMPA – The NFL is all abuzz about the record 53 juniors who have made themselves eligible for this year’s draft. Starting on Sunday, though, and for the next week the league’s collective focus will turn to the top seniors in this year’s draft.

    Sunday begins a week’s worth of festivities and workouts leading up to Saturday’s Senior Bowl in Mobile, Al. Little Ladd-Peebles Stadium is the site of the game as well as the daily NFL convention that takes place during the morning and afternoon Senior Bowl practices.

    Just about everyone who’s anyone in the NFL attends this event and plenty of news comes out of it as a result. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, for example, are expected to announce the minor tweaks they’re making to their coaching staff while here at the Senior Bowl, probably on Tuesday.

    More than anything, though, the Senior Bowl is about watching the top seniors work out against some of the best young talent the college game has to offer. With that in mind, here’s a look at five players the Bucs are sure to watch as they prepare for their biggest draft in years.

    * DT Dan Williams, Tennessee. Ndamukong Suh is not expected to play in the Senior Bowl. That’s all right, though. Suh would just draw attention away from Williams and Williams bears watching, particularly by the Bucs.

    Though some believe the 6-3, 327-pound Williams is best suited to play the nose in a 3-4 scheme, he excelled and earned All-SEC honors as a nose tackle in Monte Kiffin’s 4-3 defense at Tennessee.

    Williams’ strength is stopping the run and there’s nothing the Bucs need more right now than a good run stopper. Projected as a late second or third-round pick, Williams could automatically improve the Bucs rush defense.

    Click on the link to
    read further

    Roy’s somewhat askew as the Bucs’ll be penny pinching when it comes to the upcoming NFL draft. Or doesn’t he simply realize that given their financial circumstances ? Man there are some pi_s poor writers in the bay area covering sports. The vast majority of them simply roll over and play dead when it comes to the local area sports and simply just kiss a_s !

    Alan Parkins

  17. That’s the price a team pays for sucking, Al. They’ll have to pay a large sum for an unproven rookie.

    I fully expect the Bucs to take UT’s Eric Berry. He’s going to be the best player on the board when they choose at 3.

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