Weekly Caption Contest celebrates March Madness, Charles Barkley… and pizza

We now take a short break from obsessing about our busted brackets to celebrate our weekly caption contest.  This time around, we poke fun at one of the more dynamic basketball players of all time: Round Mound of Rebound turned basketball analyst extraordinaire, Charles Barkley.

Seen here in his slim-fitting jeans and USA basketball tank top, Sir Charles shows us that not much has changed over the past twenty-five years, other than his waistline, of course.

So sports fans, stop tearing your hair out, put down your pens and your pepperoni pizza, put on your best short shorts and have a little fun at Sir Charles’ expense.

The winning entry can pretend, if even for a brief moment, that their brackets are still somewhat intact.

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51 Replies to “Weekly Caption Contest celebrates March Madness, Charles Barkley… and pizza”

  1. I could’ve sworn I asked for biscuits and gravy on top of this. Where are they?

  2. Lisa… you’re makin’ me hungry.

    How’re your brackets?

    I have a potentially interesting assignment a local mag wants to send me on. I want your take on it so I’ll give you a shout soon.

  3. Actually, LN, I’ve heard a few enlightening interviews with Chuck where he repeatedly points to that one incident as his biggest regret as a professional basketball player.

    You have regrets, don’t you? Like that one time? At band camp?

  4. If it’s a choice between this pizza and being a role model, guess which one I’m going to choose.

  5. Should I eat this whole pizza? Sure I should..I’m young, I’m active, I’ll always have this awesome body!

  6. Chris

    Barkley is married but he’s estranged from his wife. He has a grown daughter in college. I don’t believe however that their divorce was ever declared finalized and it’s not something that he actually talks about in public.

    Alan Parkins

  7. Chris

    Let me pose this question to you. Both the NFL and MLB say that they want to stamp out the illicit use of steroids and HGH within their sport right ? Then why are they now both involved in the supplements market and at the same time several of the products that bear their logos have as part of their content , minuscule doses of steroids and traces of hormones derived of porcine elements(pig tissue) ?

    Hypocritical don’t you think ?

    Alan Parkins

  8. One day I’ll be Governor of Alabama and there will be free pizza for everyone!

  9. Just think, one day I could be President and nationalize the pizza industry and give free Pizza to everyone! Yum!

  10. Aer… I would have to go with that one as the winner so far.

    Too bad your Sweet 16 picks weren’t as successful.

    OUCH… that’s gonna leave a mark.

  11. Kaufman finally rears his ugly head. Where ya’ been, man?

    Do you shut it down when it’s not football season or what?

    And are you attending that Buccaneers protest? I may be covering it so stay tuned.

  12. Al… No idea, man. Maybe they’re trying to infiltrate the system.

    Or maybe they’re thinking, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

    Either way, in years to come, new undetectable performance enhancers will hit the market. I’m pretty sure they already have.

  13. Chris

    The NFL and MLB are both as corrupt as the NCAA , if that’s at all possible ? I hear that the NCAA has both the Mexican and Colombian drug cartels running scared ?

    If Charles is allowed to go out and get some then kudos to him ! I only wished my ex allowed me the privilege of doing that ! But as they say makeup sex just happens to be the best sex you’ll ever have. Unless you happen to be Tiger Woods that is . I’d dare say before he even gets another chance to be intimate with his wife , she’s going to make him pay through the nose and then some !

    Alan Parkins

  14. Chris

    I tried to put pen to paper last night just having fun trying to see if I could make up some figures in terms of an NCAA bracket. Let’s just say I now don’t hold out much hope for my picks . The one team that I thought’d be a dark horse bows out with its tails between its legs.

    Is there such a thing as a do-over in the tourney ? Because I might just petition the NCAA for one .

    Perceptions Of Grandeur ……………..

    Alan Parkins

  15. Chris

    I see that Obama’s brackets have gone to hell in a hand basket. Does that mean he’ll be screwed as far as health care reform goes ?

    And how ’bout them boys from Kansas ? Something else they’ve now got in common with Dorothy from the Wizard Of Oz. They’re now marching their sorry a_s back home.

    Still think that the Mavs have gumption ? The Celtics rocked ’em like the wimps that they are ! And you’re still of the opinion they’ll be alright in the playoffs. You’d better get ready to be schooled brother !

    Alan Parkins

  16. I am probably too late for the Charles Barley caption contest but how about…

    “Nothing gets between me and my Calvin Kleins except this extra large supreme pizza…mrowomwmucnh!!!”

    We should have picked NIT brackets…it would have been so much easier.

    I am doing better in the women’s NAIA bracket that I have completed at collegefanz.com.

  17. Al… His health care plan was facing resistance from the getgo anyway. Guess we Americans don’t feel the need to take care of our own, which is a crying shame like most of our brackets.

    And Al, even before the trade, with an ailing Parker, I thought the Mavs were the third best team in the West. They still are.

    And if the Celtics start peaking at just the right time, they’ll be a tough out in the East.

  18. Feller… perhaps we’d have a better time PLAYING in the woman’s bracket. I can still rain some jumpers, baby.

    Bryson will attest.

    He and I would team up to make sure our boy Jeremy couldn’t score a basket, even with his Mark Jackson free-throw shooting style and his old school Jordan Nikes.

  19. Sunday, March 21, 2:00 p.m.

    TUNE IN NOW…Florida Gators (the fairer sex version) taking on the Miami Her-icanes in Coral Gables.

    Looks like mother nature may keep UF from sweeping Misserable-sippi State in baseball today.

  20. Chris

    ‘Third best’ isn’t what the Mavs or Cuban wants. But one way or another they’re going to meet untimely end in conference playoffs. If they can’t defend then the Nuggets or Lakers will simply walk through them like the Germans did when they took Paris during WWII.

    George Hill of the Spurs is no Tony Parker but he’s playing well enough to give a great many Spurs’ fans hope.

    The Damage Has Been Done ……

    Alan Parkins

  21. Chris

    I know that Boras didn’t negotiate Mauer’s contract. But man is now going to have some hangers’ on or what ? Fourth highest MLB contract in history. Wait ’til Kate Gossellin finds out. She’ll change her tune about only wanting Asian American guys. Mauer’s now got ‘bank’ so that should place him on her radar.

    Loved the Tiger interview with ESPN’s Tom Rinaldi . Why is it that I get the impression that he’s still not learned anything from this mess ?

    Alan Parkins

  22. I had a feeling the Twins were gonna get that deal done with Mauer. He’s a hometown boy.

    I’m just hoping that franchise didn’t bankrupt themselves so that they can still surround him with talent.

  23. Chris

    Third best may well be all that they’ll have in terms of their regular season record. The front office of the Mavs are alive on a wing and a prayer. But come the offseason there’s going to be some upheaval there.

    Mauer is a great player and he’s the best catcher in the league by far. As to the Twins . Ownership there has money but they prefer to spend it wisely.

    I see that Ben is getting somewhat jittery shall we say. He and his lawyer Ed Garland have got be to be worried as of now.

    Roethlisberger’s Nevada accuser might talk to Georgia investigators

    The woman who filed a civil lawsuit against Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in Nevada might speak with Georgia authorities who are investigating sexual-assault allegations facing the two-time Super Bowl champion in that state.

    Attorney Calvin Dunlap, who represents the woman alleging that Roethlisberger assaulted her in Nevada in 2008, told KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh that Georgia Bureau of Investigation officials contacted him Monday looking to interview his client. Dunlap hasn’t ruled out the possibility that the interview will take place, adding that he’s also conducting his own investigation of the Georgia incident in connection with the Nevada lawsuit.

    “They need information from us, and frankly we need information from them, so I will make a decision on how to proceed as the need arises,” Dunlap said.

    Roethlisberger has denied the Nevada allegations, and no criminal charges have been filed in that case.

    In the Georgia case, police are investigating an allegation brought by a 20-year-old college student that she was sexually assaulted by Roethlisberger, 28, in a Milledgeville nightclub earlier this month. Roethlisberger’s attorney, Ed Garland, has said his client hasn’t committed a crime.

    NFL Network’s Jason La Canfora reported Tuesday that Roethlisberger flew to Georgia last weekend to cooperate with investigators but that he ultimately didn’t answer any questions at the behest of his lawyer.


    Click on link to read article in its entirety.


    I wasn’t aware that part of the concierge’s duty at a hotel was to provide the guests with sexual gratification ? I mean called down to let her (McNulty) know that the tv in his room wasn’t working properly and that the refrigerator wasn’t properly stocked with enough alcohol. And once she got there she just wanted to have sex ?

    Next time I go on a business trip for the firm , I’ll have to try that a ruse to get some ‘tail’ from a female hotel employee. Do you think that she’ll oblige if I simply tophatal and I’ve got a great many tools amongst my tool kit ?

    Alan Parkins

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