When you think of desperation in sports, you generally think of the Hail Mary pass or the last second heave from half-court as time expires. Well, the city of Cleveland has set a new standard for desperation… and they’ve done so musically.
Have you ever been so distraught about a break-up that you filmed a video begging your loved one to stay? Well, Cleveland has.
As most of us know, this could be the summer of Cleveland’s discontent. The best player in Cavaliers history, who once again fell short of an NBA title this season, will soon become a free-agent. And there isn’t a team out there that wouldn’t want him.
The question is who can afford him. New York, New Jersey, Chicago, Miami and Los Angeles are all rumored to be in the running, yet nobody knows, probably not even LeBron, which of those uniforms he’ll be wearing next season.
In the hopes of getting LeBron to stay in Cleveland, a number of local business professionals who call themselves “Clevelanders for LeBron James” have put together a touching little ditty, begging the Chosen One to stay. Fortunately, they didn’t quit their day jobs.
The “Clevelanders” are comprised of local disc jockeys, judges, musicians, politicians, television personalities and pitchmen, most of whom can’t carry a tune, but who all recognize that LeBron leaving Cleveland is bad for business and even worse for the Cavs.
The video is actually quite touching, although more atonal than your average karaoke singer. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I hereby give you… the Clevelanders.
You might want to turn down the volume.
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Awwww…that brought tears to my eyes (and hands over my ears)…lol. But truly, the city adores him and he’s been good to and for Cleveland. I hope he doesn’t leave. It’s a shame that success is measured in championships by so many people. He’s a winner in so many ways!
Chris Humpherys
An Ohio multi millionaire has stated that he’d sell his Ferrari and he’d donate the proceeds to the Cavaliers for them to do with as they please if LeBron remains in Cleveland.
How comes we’ve never had that situation arise concerning a Browns’ fans showing that much devotion ?
And given the fact that Buckeyes under Tressel hasn’t been shown that much love or devotion ever.
However it’s been mentioned that LBJ will leave because he isn’t entirely happy with having to call Delonte` his new dad. Especially as LBJ has never learned to ride a bike and his teammate is unwilling to teach him how . Now that’s sad !
As to Delonte` if he’s supplying the meat in Gloria James’ sandwich . How much fat and protein is she allowed to have ?
Alan Parkins
Chris
If the fans in Cleveland are so starved for success why haven’t they moved elsewhere ? I hear Kabul is rather great this time of year and they’ve a terrific soccer team.
Browns’ fans have longed maintained that they’ll continue to support the team through thick and thin. The characters from “Dumb & Dumber” are considered to be intellectuals in that part of the world !
So the Indians’ fans booed Kerry Wood because he blew another save ? Haven’t they learned anything from his days when he pitched as a closer for the Cubs ?
Alan Parkins
So sad, so sad. Where do I send the check? We are the world!
Of course the city loves him, Elizabeth. He’s the most freakish basketball player on the planet. He loves, they’re done.
Can you imagine Orlando ever doing this for Shaquille to keep him from leaving?
Or L.A. to Kobe Bryant? Or Chicago to Michael?
What if, down the road, there’s a player who’s BETTER than LeBron who means MORE to the city he plays for than LeBron does to Cleveland.
Then what do we expect? Roses? Offering to mow his lawn or wash his car? Babysit his kids while he goes out on the town?
Al… don’t be fooled. They love their Buckeyes up there more than they love anything.
I thought you were gonna go with “I know one person that doesn’t want Delonte West to leave town.”
Let me ask you this, Al.
Do you think they contacted Jim Brown about the video and if so, what do you think he said?
And who isn’t blowing a save these days?
Send the check for what, Aer?
To get them to stop singing?
FYI, Cleveland fans.
Be prepared.
You might just be humming THIS song soon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66vn_eS0JjM
Chris
This just in Jim Brown wants to make sure that there aren’t any gangs signs on that mural . LOL,LOL,LOL !!!!
Buckeyes can’t be sure what they want half the damn time . They’re world beaters one minute and hence having got their as_ses kicked they cower in a corner like they’ve seen a ghost.
If this Canadian doctor has allegedly treated numerous sports stars within all of the four major sports with legal as well as illicit drugs then how comes we’ve heard nothing as to those who are now being investigated by the FEDS ? Amongst those having been treated by Dr Anthony Galea (has a practice in Orlando) are Tiger Woods, A-Rod , Chris Simms, a couple of players on the Bucs’ roster and Santana Moss of the Redskins to name but a few .
But his medical assistant states there have been as many 45 -60 athletes that’ve received illicit banned substances from him including HGH.
Alan Parkins
Chris Humpherys
Here’s my first NFL piece in quite a while and it’s on the Bucs. Hope you enjoy !
Here In My Backyard …………
Alan Parkins
Chris
Fans in Cleveland know what they like and dislike . Kerry Woods blows a save for the Indians . So quite rightly they boo him. If it’s the Cubs they actually serenade the player and thank him for his effort . Need I say anymore on the matter ?
Alan Parkins
I’ve got OSU vs Alabama in this year’s BCS title game, Al. With Boise State once again on the outside looking in.
Is there a difference between Galea and Landis, Al?
Be right over to check out your Bucs piece, Al. Can’t wait to hear what you expect from the season.
Al… Neither Wood nor Pryor panned out tobe much in Chicago which is a shame since they mortgaged their future on both of them.
Chris
Hence the reason why the Cubs are viewed as lovable losers . It’s the same with Lions in the NFL !
I don’t believe Galea played any sport professionally but he’s made money like a sports star.
If the truth comes out ’bout Tiger and A-Rod concerning Galea then you might as well call it quits when it comes to sports as a passtime .
Woods’ bulging disc has a new meaning and that’s not meant to be taken as a sexual connotation at all .
Now when it comes to A-Rod ‘boli and his papi chulo cousin we knew all along he wasn’t being supplied by someone down in the D.R. Who the hell is that naive to begin with ?
To paraphrase Dennis Green ……… ” A Rod is who we thought he was” !
So Ochocinco got kicked off DWTS ? How comes he’s so fleet footed on that show but he can’t do that when playing for the “Bungles” I mean Bengals ?
Alan Parkins
Love those videos, thought it might eventually zoom in and there you would be! When is another one of you coming out?
A guy sold his Ferrari, big deal thays like a volks beattle in Lebron league, Try a Buggatti
or a Pagani a Million plus for them. Lebron is a goner He will be in the Big City , The Big Apple
Al… I’m not quite sure the Lions woes are as deep-rooted as the Cubs. Plus the Cubs have at least been decent and competed lately. Not so much for the Lions.
I’m pretty sure Drew Rosenhaus hasn’t played much sports either but he seems to be doing pretty well for himself.
Al, please don’t tell me you watch Dancin’ with the Stars. I’m gonna have a blogcast of Dancing with the Bloggers starring me, you, Chap, Lisa, Kev and whoever wants to make a fool of themselves.
Ath…
I had some video of me at the Magic game but through most of them, I was talking trash about how Orlando would cool off the Celtics. Needless to say, they didn’t fit the piece since it was Orlando that got cooled off.
But there will be more SportsChump videos a-comin’.
Salsa King…
Apparently now Mark Cuban has expressed interest in LeBron. Big surprise.
He might just be saying that to keep Dirk.
Do you think LeBron plus Dirk = NBA title?
I’m not so sure.
Chris
I happened to see the piece where Ocho made mention that he wouldn’t mind spending the evening with his partner Cheryl Burke. Now if you’ve seen Burke you’ll realize that this might just be the first sensible thing that Ocho’s said in years !
Check out these array of images of Burke for yourself and let me know what you think ?
Cheryl Burke …………
Alan Parkins
Chris
I’m not saying that the Yankees need to be worried but when the Rays spank you like a spoiled child then you ought to looking at yourself in front of a mirror to see what’s wrong.
Thanks for chiming in on that Bucs’ piece !
Alan Parkins
I’m not sure which one Cheryl is, Al, but most of those dancers fall on the attractive side.
Al…
The Rays are for real, plain and simple.
City employees made a simialr video when they heard that I was leaving Council and heading to County Commission! 🙂
Chris
The way the Rays are playing is very much reminiscent of the Yankees’ teams of ’96 thru’ ’98 ! Team baseball all the way and all egos were left at the door.
You Know It’s Been A Bad Day At The Office When………… Insert Your Own Thoughts Here ……………..
Alan Parkins
Chris
Jim Brown only likes to interject himself ij the midst of things if someone’s gonna throw down.
Rays aren’t blowin’ saves are they ? But I hear that both Ashley Dupre and Monica Lewinsky have been known to do the same . See Bill Clinton and Eliot Spitzer for their answers .
Alan Parkins
Chris
Bosh has a list of teams that he’s prepared as a short list. The Heat, Bulls , Knicks , Lakers and of course a return to the Raptors isn’t entirely out of the question.
But everything as we know will be predicated upon the decision made by LeBron.
Alan Parkins
Chris
What do you think is liable to happen now that the FBI and Justice Dept are now investigating Anthony Galea ? Quite a number of NFL players were treated by him and his assistant is said to have a list of players in receipt of banned substances that were sent to them via US mail.
Kind of puts into perspective the situation about Armstrong who has been tested in and out of competition and not once has he tested positive.
Alan Parkins
Chris
For your edification Cheryl Burke.
Montage of pics and video to boot .
1) Cheryl Burke ………. Pics
2) Cheryl Burke video . Stuff magazine photo shoot .
Alan Parkins
PJD… what’s more amazing than that is that they were actually able to pry the karaoke microphone out of your hands.
That’s a bold statement, Al. That team won 125 games.
That being said, the Rays are clicking on all cylinders. Funny how local radio shows still bash them every chance they get.
Al…
I haven’t spoken with Bill in a while. He and I were tight back in the day. I’ve just been so busy with sportschump, I haven’t had a chance to call him.
I agree on the LeBron domino effect this summer, Al. Although Orlando’s allegedly in the running for Bosh as well. I’m not sure how they’d make that happen but that’d be prety damn sweet.
Al…
I think Selig should oversee the proceedings. That way we can essentially make sure that nobody at all gets busted for steroid use.
She’s hot, Al. Just not sure I dig her hair.
She’s the one that won with Emmitt, right?
Chris
If Orlando is said to be interested in Bosh does that mean Lewis is on his way out ? If the Magic do go after him then it’d have to be a sign and trade with the Magic giving up something in return.
But Bosh allegedly has five teams that interest him …….Miami, Lakers , Bulls , Raptors and Knicks. I think the last one has to be a joke !
Is There A Doctor In The House ?
Burk is doable !
Alan Parkins
It’s tough to recall a team as dominant in their first two series then taking a big dump in the next as the Orlando has in this year’s playoffs.
Otis Smith thought he had built himself a solid team until they ran into Boston and were exposed on all levels.
Bosh would be solid alongside Dwight Howard and I only assume that would mean either moving Lewis and his salary or moving him to the three-spot.
After this series, I just have a feeling some serious changes will be made.
Chris
A team can only be good as the leadership shown by its best player. And what we’ve seen by Howard in this series has been remarkably pitiful ! Now personally I’d rather see them be swept of the playoffs altogether . That way the embarrassment attained should provide them with the lesson as to what it takes to win.
When you have someone like Rashard Lewis making the statement …..” I’ve got to find out what it is I can do better” …when you’re already 0-2 down in a series goes to show how out of touch not only he is but so too the rest of the team and coaching staff . Hold your horses also as the mantel of best center in the league no longer rests on Dwight’s shoulders ! He’s done nothing to back that up whatsoever in these playoffs. He can’t lead and his game is so one dimensional that it’s become ridiculous to carry on something that has no bearing on being true !
Is There A Doctor In The House …. ?
Alan Parkins
Al…
I totally agree with you about Dwight Howard.
For me, a turning point in the series came in Game Two, when the Magic finally took a late lead after being out-hustled and out-played for the first ninety minutes of the series.
The cameras pan to Dwight who’s all jovial and smiling with the crowd.
Well, Al, as we both know, there’s no smiling in basketball, at least not when you’re on the verge of going down 0-2. Do you see the Celtics smiling? Only when things are said and done.
As I’ve said before, they’re business-like. Their eyes are clearly on the prize, meanwhile this time around, it’s the Magic who are the deer in the headlights.
Chris
Dwight continues to play the a__s and in doing so it makes him and the team seem foolish and misplaced ! If they get blown out in game 4 of this series then they’ve themselves to blame and absolutely no one else.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Magic executives begin to re-evaluate the roster and coaching staff should this scenario take place !
I Want To Go To Disneyland Bitch !
Alan Parkins
Chris
Burke was the two time defending champion on the show. She’s of African American and Asian background hence the facial features. Or as the Japanese say gai-jin .
Lakers and Suns series in game three seems to be a real physical to and fro ? Lopez and Fisher seem to have an immense dislike for each other.
Alan Parkins
salsero
They ain’t all that bright in Cleveland ! They probably think that a Bugatti is a type of Italian sausage ! Never mind “The Situation” from MTV’s
“Jersey Shore” can put them straight on that
Alan Parkins
Chris
So finally we actually have a playoff series in the Conference Finals worth watching. Lakers get shut down by the Suns in game three .
Alan Parkins
Chris
When the Price Is Right’s Bob Barker makes the statement……” keep your pets spayed and neutered ” was he also referring to the Orlando Magic and Van Gundy in particular ?
Alan Parkins
Al, like LeBron, I just think Dwight needs to develop a little bit of mean streak.
Kid’s too nice.
Suns are definitely playing some physical ball, Al.
After seeing what Boston did to Orlando, I thought L.A. would want to come out and put them away but Phoenix wasn’t having any of it.
Al…
So now you’re watching Dancing With the Stars AND Jersey Shore?
Damn, there must really be nothing to do in Dundee.
I’m always game for more basketball, Al, but I still think Celtics-Lakers is a foregone conclusion.
Al…
Looks like Barker already got to the Orlando offense, and defense for that matter, as they’ve been pretty impotent on both sides of the ball.
Chris
The Lakers had better not fall asleep at the wheel against the Suns in this series .
Sad news about former Dodgers’ pitcher Jose “Lima Time” Lima dying at the age of 37 from a heart attack !
So greedy Roger Goodell, NFL and Reebok Int’l Inc loses a major lawsuit in the US Supreme Court that’ll screw all four major sports bodies as well as the NCAA ! Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of people !
Picks And Pans …… All Of The None-Sensical Stuff Of The Sports Weekend ………..
Alan Parkins
Chris
I too believe in the dumbing down of America hence Jersey Shore & DWTS . It’s either that of the Food Channel and C Span. And seeing Anthony Bourdain telling me about the delicacy of an orangutan’s balls doesn’t sit well with my digestive system. Nor does seeing Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi trying to “play nice” with the GOP . Whenever that happens I know that there’s a whole load of crap coming down the pike that’ll affect us all !
Neither of the two parties gives a _hit ’bout anyone but themselves !
Alan Parkins
Chris
Magic are trying to scrap their way back into the series with it now going into OT at 86 pts apiece.
Alan Parkins
Chris
So these are the people that owner Dan Gilbert of the Cavaliers are said to be interested in for the vacancy ?
Phil Jackson, Tom Izzo, Mike Krzyzewski and Larry Brown. Apparently they couldn’t get into touch with Red Auerbach because they didn’t have a ouija board in their possession.
What Uncle Sam Giveth He Taketh Away …………..
Alan Parkins
I think the Lakers will be just fine against the Suns, Al. I’m just wondering if Nash will make it through the series intact.
That was sad news about Lima. Baseball definitely lost a character.
And I look forward to seeing what you wrote about that licensing agreement.
Al… that’s why I try to avoid those channels and programs at all costs.
A win is a win, Al.
And as I mentioned in Chump Chat, there hasn’t been a single memorable winning streak in history that didn’t begin without winning just one game.
Chris
Of course a win is a win. But once the Magic bows out of this series what then happens ? Where will die-hard Magic fans apportion the blame ? After-all they were the favorites to win this series outight .
All the bitch_n’ and the whinin’ isn’t going to stop what’s patently obvious and that’s that the Nagic aren’t built for the long haul and they’re not that good at handling real adversity !
So Rich Rodriguez and the Wolverines imposed their own self imposed sanctions ? Wasn’t he and the AD stating that there was nothing wrong that’d been done ?
Now he’s stating the he wasn’t aware that the compliance officer had made him aware as to what the training protocols were as set out by the NCAA. Nor was he aware that they were suppose to check the academic protocols to be met by the players on the team.
So what was it that he was doing while coach of the Mountaineers ? Fu_k me you gets what you pay for when you acquire a dumb _ss coach !
Alan Parkins
Chris
With each step begins the journey ,the problem is the Magic simply created their own prat falls and obstacles . Need one say anymore on the matter ?
Alan Parkins
Chris
If Nash and Stoudemire can even this series then there’s nothing to suggest that the Lakers want to be any part of a real dogfight !
Alan Parkins
Al…
From everything I’m reading, Lewis is taking the bulk of the blame. Vince Carter also hasn’t been as consistent as they need him to be. And I’m not sure what the heck happened to Mickael Pietrus. It was nice to finally see some minutes for Brandon Bass. I’m actually surprised it took Stan Van so long to play him.
Isn’t RichRod policing his own program akin to the inmates running the asylum? If he’s policing them, who’s policing him?
So far so good for the Suns. They’re up at halftime in Game Four.
Chris
Can Rashard Lewis spell the word blame ? As for Vincesanity who threw away his Midol ?
Rich Rodriguez makes Calipari seem like he’s ready to be beatified . But then again if Cal bolts back to the NBA what then ?
I’m not saying that the Lakers are in a dogfight as of yet. But do you think that Phil has Michael Vick’s number on speed dial ? Cause things could get ugly and I’d hate for Lakers’ fans out there to start defecating on themselves. It’s bad enough that they even have to deal with Dyan Cannon at the Staples Center at each home game. Home girl is really gettin’ on in age and it’s beginning to show in the camera close ups. Pan to Jack at least we know what he’s thinking ! Which of the Lakers’ girls hasn’t yet had the pleasure of his company ?
Alan Parkins
Chris
The Cheifs’ Duane Bowe says that the ladies who were brought to the hotels after the games were there mainly to learn etiquette. When to say ” yes ” or “aye Papi give it to me one more time”. I mean that is proper etiquette amongst your average skank nowadays isn’t it ?
Alan Parkins
Chris
If LeBron decides on NYC and moves his family there. Does that mean his mother Gloria James gets to decide who on the Knicks’ team she wants to have sex with ? I mean whoever it is , will be set . Especially as no one will want to p_ss momma James off ! Not of it means the happiness of her son is at stake. LeBron loves his momma because you can see that Oedipus relationship that they already maintain.
He draws her bath water and she at times takes care of him as only a mother can. And that’s even though LBJ has a family of his own.
Alan Parkins
Chris
Suns played ball last night as they left the Lakers in their wake. Tied at 2-2 and I doubt that there’s anyone out there who’s now sure that the Lakers still has this series all wrapped up !
Alan Parkins
Al… sometimes Carter just looks like he has his head stuck way up his ass when he’s out there. I mean, the guy has the talent to get to the rim as he feels, yet continues to shy away and settle for jumpers. That’s not what gets the crowd fired up and that’s not what wins game.
Some please remind him the higher percentage shots are in the painted area.
I hear Dyan Cannon will soon be on Golden Girls Redux.
Correct, Al.
It all depends on how you define ‘etiquette.’
Maybe she can go White Chocolate, Al, and opt for David Lee.
Too bad Nate Robinson isn’t still on the team. That’d make for a funny visual.
I’m sure Phillip will find an answer for the zone d but you have to hand it to Alvin Gentry and that Phoenix bench.
I think the future of their PG position is in good hands with Dragic. Kid’s good.
Chris
I’d left you a response concerning the Rays . Five years from now they’ll be known as the Las Vegas Bars. Because that’s where they’ll end up being. Fans in the bay area aren’t appreciative enough of the team . Otherwise they’d be there in droves supporting them.
Vince and his Midol will be out of here once the postseason is over. Otis Smith will have to gut the team of the dregs and driftwood and rebuild all over again. The Magic simply put aren’t even one of the better teams in the conference based on their displays in this series !
Alan Parkins
Chris
More problems coming down the pike for the Jayhawks .
Nothing spell trouble like when a coach and others get mixed up with crooks !
What’s the bets that the NCAA comes down hard on their _ss ?
Alan Parkins
Chris
If you’ve not been audited by the IRS then this may well be the reason why.
What Uncle Sam Giveth He Taketh Away
Alan Parkins
I’ll place a wager on that, Al. I think they’re more apt to move to Tampa than Vegas. And I like the name Las Vegas Slots a little better.
Re: the Magic, assuming they drop the series, I don’t know that they have to totally start from scratch, but getting Dwight a little help down low would go a long way. I’d love to see a true PF down there with him.
Al… does the ticket scandal at Kansas mean we can suspend Paul Pierce for Game Six?
Al…
I haven’t been audited by the IRS because I don’t make jack.
lebron james iz tha best
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