What can I say? This past week, I’ll freely admit, I fell prey to the non-stop, LeBron-a-thon that became ESPN, Twitter and the rest of the media outlets nationwide (although I feel a little dirty now that it’s all said and done).
Since I don’t have a day job (I am employed, however, I swear), I was able to spend days leading up to “The Decision” doing nothing but digesting rumors, questioning sources, ranking LeBron’s potential destinations and laughing out loud at some of the inventiveness that Twitter, the internet’s newest fad, had to offer.
For those of you who have been living under a rock, the sports world has been at a standstill this week, waiting to find out what uniform LeBron James would wear next season, with absolutely nobody (allegedly) other than LeBron James and Maverick Carter, his chief advisor, knowing where he would sign. New York? Cleveland? Miami? New Jersey? Chicago? His nine o’clock announcement hung over all but one of those cities like a thundercloud waiting to burst. Ultimately he chose Miami, ripping the hearts out of Clevelanders and simultaneously creating an entirely new persona for himself. The backlash has been abundant.
Despite the fact that his decision dramatically shifted the powers in the NBA, I didn’t resent the constant coverage like so many others. On the contrary, I reveled in it. But I didn’t have a horse in this race. I don’t hate NBA players for bringing this much attention to themselves. But others did… with flair.
Since most of you were probably at work and didn’t have time to comb through Twitter’s comedic gems prior to “The Decision,” I thought I’d share some of the comments
Enjoy! And best wishes to LeBron but I can’t say I’ll be rootin’ for ya.
Sloan_d: The most difficult about Boozer leaving is trying to explain to my 6-week-old daughter why the Jazz’d let one of their top-2 players walk.
notmikedunleavy: Will ESPN get in trouble with the FCC for broadcasting an hour long LeBron blowjob tonight?
christomasson: How would LeBron James commit suicide? By jumping off his ego.
WaterWarren: BREAKING NEWS!! Apple is releasing a special edition Lebron James iPhone. Problem is, it only vibrates b/c it doesn’t have a RING.
queenbellas: I hope Kanye West interrupts LeBron James and says, “Imma let you finish, but Jordan is the greatest player of all time.”
samantha_steele: LeBron “The Decision”= The Bachelor “The Final Rose”.. Dude loves himself, contestants lose their dignity & we’re lame for caring.
SportsChump: Just shot hoops at the YMCA.As I selected a basketball to shoot with, crowds gathered and awaited my decision. Must be something in the air.
And then there was one Tweeter who went by the name of LeBronJamesEgo. He kept me in stitches for hours. He even posted a picture of LeBron in shades as his avatar and listed his home page as Wikipedia’s definition of Narcissism.
Within 24 hours, he had over 1,000 followers. Here are some of his masterpieces…
MY MUSCLES LOOK AMAZING TODAY. MUCH BETTER THAN CHRIS BOSH’S MUSCLES. OH DAMN YEAH I WENT THERE IT’S WHAT I DO.
I WEAR SOCKS ONCE THEN THROW TRASH EM. THEY’RE SAD NOT BEING ON MY FEET BUT IT’S ALL GOOD BECAUSE THEY’RE SOCKS AND HAD A GREAT LIFE.
FEATURED IN MY SPECIAL TOMORROW NIGHT: 1) SOME FOOTAGE OF ME JUST BEING ME 2) A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION ON WHY I LIKE MY SMILE 3) ORIGAMI.
THINKING ABOUT PLAYING IN MIAMI, BUT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING ABOUT HOW WADE SPELLS HIS NAME: “DWYANE” THAT’S SILLY TO ME SO I LAUGH THE BEST.
COULDN’T DECIDE WHAT TO EAT SO I JUST HAD 17 DELIVERY GUYS COME TO MY CRIB. I CHOSE THAI BECAUSE I KNEW I WAS THE BEST AT CHOOSING LUNCHES.
COMPANIES ARE SPONSORING MY ANNOUNCEMENT TOMORROW NIGHT BECAUSE I TOLD THEM “YO” AND THEY WERE LIKE “YEAH” AND THAT WAS THAT.
TO ALL THOSE SAYING I’M GOING TO MIAMI: I JUST DID 758 PUSH UPS SO YOU JUST KEEP PLAYIN YOURSELVES.
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE TODAY IS THE BIG DAY. CHECK MY WEBSITE FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT WHICH POP TART IS THE BEST.
GOT SUIT FOR TOMORROW AND WOMAN ASKED HOW I’M PAYING. I SAID “WITH SMILES” AND SHE WAS LIKE “OH DAMN” SO I JUST REALLY LIKE HELPING PEOPLE.
NEW YORK: JUST FOUND OUT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN AIN’T EVEN A GARDEN SO WTF? NO TULIPS NO LEBRON IS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY.
MIAMI: I’M NOT GONNA FRONT I LIKE THAT WILL SMITH JAM FROM BACK IN THE DAY SO MAYBE, PLUS I COULD WEAR MY JORTS IN THE NICE WEATHER.
CLEVELAND: YO THAT’S MY HEART AND I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE ALL MY FAMILY BUT MONEY IS REALLY FUN SO I MIGHT JUST BUY A NEW FAMILY INSTEAD.
MY BOY JAY-Z AND I ARE IN THE LAB WORKING ON A SONG. RIGHT NOW THE HOOK GOES “OH LEBRON YOU SO LEBRON” I’M LIKE YEAH BOY BUT JAY SEEMS SAD.
CHECK IT – I’M NOT ALWAYS BOUT ME I’M GONNA SAVE ONE ANIMAL FROM THE BP OIL SPILL AND NAME IT LEBRON JR. WHO WILL BE THE LUCKY SEA TURTLE???
I READ GILBERT’S LETTER AND IT’S ALL GOOD. GUESS WHO’S NOT GETTING HIS CAVS CROCS BACK? IF YOU GUESSED GILBERT YOU’RE GOOD AT GUESSING.
no kind of real man does that
LeBron is still a child
people forget that
immaturity plays a role in this decision
and narcissism, which could be chalked up to immaturity as well
Zirin and everyone else it seems is ripping him
What a tool
Pure Potsie, Billy B.
Thanks for sharing the Zirin article.
For the record, I never plan on doing the same when I leave Grow Radio for greener pastures.
Of course, I have to get ON Grow Radio first.
I must admit I’m part of the crowd that is disappointed that Lebron decided to leave Cleveland. Mostly because I think that sooner or later he would have won there.
Like many I agree that the hype he helped to build up yesterday was a horrible idea given his decision to go elsewhere. And yes, a day after his decision I can’t help but think that his public image will forever be tarnished by all the self-driven hype and his subsequent decision to leave Cleveland at the alter.
But who am I to judge?
Following Lebron’s announcement the pundits claimed (among other things) he would “never be as big as Jordan or Kobe” or “Miami will always be Wade’s town”.
Are the comparisons fair? I think not.
Comparing Lebron with a Jordan or Kobe “who stayed with their teams through thick and thin” is a bunch of bs that the guys in the media were screaming yesterday. But let’s think about this. Chicago and LA are already major media hubs and clearly we all know that the city of Cleveland would never reach that level. So a Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant didn’t have to move to a better market because in those instances there simply wasn’t one outside of NYC.
Lebron is a seven year veteran with 2 MVP’s who made a personal career decision and for that people are screaming about his selfishness. Yet people seem to conveniently forget that Kobe pulled this kind of stuff when he wasn’t even a PRO player yet. Remember that one? I do. Kobe and his handlers, fearing that he would be drafted by the Charlotte Hornets, simply announced that he had no intention of playing for them. By doing so they forced a trade with the Lakers (a trade that in hindsight was an absolute steal even if Vlady Dady likes to Potty). Even worse, years later Kobe was selfish enough to help push Shaq out of town to be certain that the town of LA would be his and his alone.
Now is that selfish? I think so.
I think that after last night’s fiasco the older generation and the younger ones too will most definitely hate LeBron with a venomous passion. What Modell was dastardly but LeBron’s actions were even worse.
He at least two weeks ago he wasn’t about to re-sign with the team so why the hell put them through this ? All the league mandates is that you don’t sign with a team before its due date. They don’t categorically stop you from making a statement of your intent to leave other than not to state the destination .
And what the hell did ESPN achieve by last night’s fiasco . As it went on it was more like a campaign and given that the interviewer was Jim Gray that essentially said it all !
He make Jayson Blair seem like the second coming of Cronkite !
🙂 **** 🙂
Maybe you’re right, Mr. North.
People also forget how Kobe threw a little hissy fit, demanding to be traded unless Mitch Kupchak made some moves, which he ultimately did.
I think what makes this all so much worse is that BronBron did it to Cleveland, a town that has been perennially been heartbroken.
Oh well. We all move on. It just might take some longer than others.
It’s been less than a day, watch to see if maybe he doesn’t pull a BillyD/Urb “psych” number on us.
Either way, I don’t give a rat. This is the same guy who wouldn’t shake with the Magic two years ago, then choked away his likely best chance last season. I have no use for him, which is easy when you’re an NBA hatah like me. Go Magic, that’s about it.
My family in Ctown are pretty distraught, tho.
On a happier note, Tonya Harding got married again 🙂
Bron Bron apparently hand-picked Gray, Al. Not sure why.
Maybe it was because a reporter like Costas would have let him have it.
I hear Gilbert has discounted LeBron fatheads for sale.
I agree…Pretty lousy of him…but it is our society’s fault b/c we create these egotistical monsters!
I kept wanting to compare the media craze to what happened to Tiger, but this was all 100% self imposed. It was like a reality show. One thing I found wierd was when he was talking about how he changed his mind every morning. Does that mean he wasn’t that sure about Miami!?! Hell he’s only 25 years old, I know I have a hard time making a decision and I’m a few years older…
If I’m Cleveland I’d rather have had him and lost him than to never have had him at all…
You may have DWade, LeBron and Bosh down there in Florida now but don’t sleep on the Bulls. With Boozer and Korver they now stack up pretty well against the Heat. All Chicago needs now is an athletic g/f and competent back up center (Hello Shaq?)…
If that team can gel, they could conceivably challenge your Lakers next year.
And I guess I may have to join you in rooting for Kobe.
Also note that former Gators Mike Miller and Udonis Haslem from the 2000 runner-up team will be reunited in Miami.
Look at Chappy, goin’ all Shakespearean on us.
He must have been inspired from the Guru of Go piece.
I do honestly think it was a difficult decision for LeBron to make, Chap.
But after hearing Gilbert lash out at him today, he probably feels a little less bad about it.
Good thing LeBron can afford it ’cause Grey Goose on the rocks go for about 18 bucks a pop at posh South Beach.
Drew… I do think Orlando, Chicago, Atlanta and Boston will ALL challenge Miami.
Cleveland now also has a lot of money to sign a nice free agent or two.
Now LeBron going to Chicago and following in Jordan’s footsteps would be difficult. But following LeBron in Cleveland? That’ll be easy. All that person has to do is win.
Lebron did what anyone else would do in his case, find a team that will make him a winner. Cleveland had 7 years to find the right players to go around with Lebron and what they did Nothing. Oh yeah they got the washout Shaq last year. Come on be serious. I think Lebron will win at least 4 with the Heat. IM glad the end of Kobe yes.
Yaz… Harding got married? And you know this how? Were you in contention?
And be sure to wear your sportschump shirt proudly at Sunday’s Rays game. SportsChump is large in Pinellas County.
El merenguero chimes in!
So who do you like more now, man? Miami or Orlando?
Magic fan but the true is Miami for the next 4 to 5 years . You know the game and there is no one there that can compete with Miami. You looking at the Dream Team . In fact the 3 of them toghether will were down defenses in a hurry. You know it. I can wait for the season to star so we can see those 3. 72 wins 10 losses . My prediction. Write it down.
72 wins, huh?
Those are lofty expectations, ‘mano.
By the way, I’m tending bar part-time.
Some dudes came into the bar tonight and ordered LeBron Bombs.
Those are made with CROWN Royal, Red Bull and a side of salt to pour in the wounds.
Then you take a handful of napkins, clap them in your hands when you’re done with the shot and throw them up in the air.
Needless to say, I commended them on their originality.
This week’s haiku:
James joins Miami
Gets to say it on TV
The Yankees still suck
Haha, I think where ever he goes he’ll get paid to drink at that bar! I wonder if he was surprised by Gilbert’s letter. He might have seen that coming. Kinda weird he didn’t talk to him once after their meeting…
Alex… the Yanks might suck (in our hearts) but the Sox can’t seem to play in Tampa Bay.
And what the hell is going on with Lackey?
Are we just going to chalk this season up to all our guys being injured or are we going to make a run?
Somehow I get the feeling we haven’t heard the end of this.
The only reason I’m still following him on Twitter to here what other crap he says.
I have zero problem with him leaving Cleveland, but doing it in the way he did as an hour long “eff you” to Cleveland was despicable. Cleveland, his home town, deserved better.
He’s considerably more entertaining.
Your thoughts and opinions help me see the light. Thanks.
chump or champ?