I have a buddy who’s a vodka drinker. Grey Goose, two limes, light on the tonic. He recently flew to Miami for a family wedding and stayed five nights at the Fontainebleau, which I hear is a spectacular hotel.
Upon ordering his signature drink at the lounge downstairs, the bartender handed him a bill for $19.50.
Now I know this is Miami and one of the world’s finest hotels but doesn’t twenty dollars for a cocktail seem a little excessive considering the entire bottle only costs a little more than thirty? And we thought gasoline prices were out of hand.
My establishment charges nine dollars for Goose and customers complain about that. I hope that when LeBron James took his talents to South Beach, aka Expensive Vodka Land, he knew what he was getting himself into. Not that he’ll have to buy a drink in that town any time soon with the season they’ve had.
Either way, I’m pretty sure he can afford it.
Upon returning from Miami, that very same friend had his airline misplace his luggage. Rough trip, huh?
He lost some personal belongings, a nice watch his girlfriend gave him as an anniversary present and some overpriced clothing he had purchased while on vacation.
But he didn’t have it nearly as bad as Manu Ginobili who, on his recent off-season exploits, had the airline lose… his dog. No word as to whether Ginobili was flying Michael Vick Air.
The Spurs forward was reunited with his pup, Ciru, five days later. My friend has yet to have his luggage returned.
My advice? Next time, travel light.
Bringing Down The House
Someone’s been wrecking Atlantic City lately and unfortunately, it hasn’t been me.
At one point in our lives, we’ve all sat down at a blackjack table with $100, hit a hot streak to go up about forty bucks, only to have that chip stack dwindle away, wondering to ourselves, why didn’t we just walk away when we were up.
Few of us, however, have sat down at a high stakes blackjack table and taken a casino for twelve million dollars.
Over the past six months, Johnson has been hotter than Florida asphalt in the summertime, taking down casino after Atlantic City casino. Caesars Palace, Borgata, Tropicana are buildings into which he’s no longer allowed entry. In a single twelve-hour sitting, he took the Tropicana for six million dollars. That’s Garnett money and officially one less person who can complain about paying too much for a drink.
Is there a doctor in the house?
I took a friend to the hospital the other day for a doctor’s appointment. As I dropped her off and rode downstairs in the elevator for a well-needed cup of joe, a woman clad in a white doctor’s gown entered the elevator behind me.
I glanced at her lapel to find her job title. Lactation nurse.
And I thought tending bar was a fun career. You mean they have people who get paid for fondling breasts all day? Why was I never told about this?
“How was your day at work, hon?” “Miserable, babe. I did nothing but feel engorged hooters all day. I so wish I had a normal desk job.”
I don’t mean to make light of anyone who’s chosen this profession. They obviously perform an invaluable service to mothers and newborns worldwide.
I just want to know where to send in my application for I think I may have missed my calling.