Same Name creates awkward love triangle between Reggie Bush, SportsChump and Kim Kardashian

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These days, original ideas are harder and harder to come by, which probably explains why there are so few decent shows on television.

Yet while watching Keegan Bradley and Jason Dufner duke it out for the PGA Championship on Sunday, I happened upon an advertisement for CBS’ new, reality television program entitled ‘Same Name,’ wherein famous people trade lives with other people who bear the same name.  This particular Sunday, NFL running back Reggie Bush traded places with small town, Illinois farmer Reggie Bush.  I decided to tune in to see if the show was worthwhile.  I mean, who could resist seeing the only football player to ever be stripped of his Heisman Trophy carry a pig around the pasture.  Insert Kim Kardashian joke here.

Bush, who I’ve met before, was the perfect gentlemen upon meeting his namesake’s family.  He even allowed the interchangeable Bush to wear his Super Bowl ring for the week.  The elder Bush’s three boys were awestruck upon meeting the NFL running back, while their father sipped champagne on his flight back to Los Angeles.  Reggie’s posse later took him out for a night on the town.  The more recognizable Reggie fetched eggs from the family henhouse for breakfast.

Mid-way through the show, Bush even addressed giving back his Heisman Trophy, so Kudos to CBS for forcing the issue.  In the end, the show turned out to be a tear-jerker as Bush paid for his stand-in wife’s first year of college, gave them an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii and refurbished their kid’s high school football locker room.

Well, thanks to CBS and ‘Same Name,’ my fifteen minutes of fame has arrived.  Since the show looks for people of the same name to switch lives, I figured I might as well submit my candidacy.  After all, my name is Chris Humpherys, just like NBA power forward, Kris Humphries, who was recently engaged to Kim Kardashian, with whom Reggie Bush was also romantically involved.  (Who hasn’t been?)  So it only makes sense that Humphries and Humpherys switch places, with the NBA star becoming a bartender, blogger and karaoke singer extraordinaire, while I shop Rodeo Drive with the Kardashi-trons.  And I hate to toot my own horn, but I could pull down a few rebounds in my day.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m perfectly happy with where I’m at and what I do, but for a few days, I suppose I could keep up with the Kardashians for the sake of science, even though I’ve never so much as seen a minute of their show.  I prefer to lose brain cells in more opportunistic fashion.

Chilling with the most famous Armenians ever could be cool for a while, I guess.  I could dine in Hollywood’s finest restaurants without so much as a wait, with half the restaurant wondering what Kim is doing with that short, balding white guy.  Step-dad to the Kardashians, Bruce Jenner, could show me around his trophy room, where we could dust off his Olympic Gold Medals and pop open the Wheaties boxes whose cover he once graced.  Unfortunately, Jenner’s now better known for his garbled facelift and for step-fathering the most spoiled children in America.  Such is celebrity in our country.

And maybe during my week-long stint in the NBA, I could convince the players and owners to stop all da fussin’ and da fightin’ and finally end the labor disagreement.  Back in Tampa, Humphries, in his sleep-deprived life, will be punching away at his laptop, pouring mai tais and cosmopolitans on the regular, and practicing his karaoke while I’m stuck listening to the incessant whining that is the Kardashian family.

On second thought, I rescind my submission and I’ll stay right where I am.

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51 Replies to “Same Name creates awkward love triangle between Reggie Bush, SportsChump and Kim Kardashian”

  1. Pingback: Same Name creates awkward love triangle between Reggie Bush, SportsChump and Kim Kardashian, NFL | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  4. Hysterical post!

    And that pix had us laughing out loud!!

    Great job (& glad yr keeping this one)! 🙂
    M & PJD

  7. Is Kim’s rear all it’s made out to be ?

    That being said what’s your namesake’s avg’ with the Nets ? Startling stats don’t you think ? Not much chance of being contenders much less pretenders anytime in the future unless Jigga can get a named superstar to join that team .

    The NBA’s stoppage isn’t a labor disagreement but more to do with egos ! It’s a @@$##ng contest for adults that’s all !

    Is Del Rio in trouble with the Jags this season ? If he fails to get ’em over the hump this season then owner Wayne Weaver has to jettison the entire coaching staff !

    tophatal ……….

  8. Wouldn’t you be a lucky guy if your other equipment matched the size of those hands.

  9. And another thing…I hope they don’t do a “Same Birthday” thing. The world is not ready for me doing karaoke.

  10. Can’t wait for your sex tape with Kimmy!

    When are you going to be showing a few snippets on the site? (with your manly parts blurred out of course)

  11. Ah yes. The grass ISN’T always greener on the other side of the fence :o).

    I wonder if CBS would consider a spinoff series, Children of People with a Celebrity Name. Allie and Katie (my beagles) are the daughters of Sammy Sosa(not the baseball player).

  15. Al…

    Kim made me pick up the tab, can you believe that?

    I have no choice but to like Humphries and hope he does well. I mean, who COULDN’T start for the Nets?

    And Del Rio’s been on the hot seat in Jacksonville for a while, Al. Unfortunately, he’s coaching in the same division as one Peyton Manning who’s not going anywhere any time soon.

  18. Beag…

    Ya’ lost me.

    Are you telling me you got your puppies from a gentleman named Sammy Sosa?

    He didn’t suddenly forget how to speak English when you tried to return the dogs, did he?

  19. Chris

    If Kim made you pick up the tab there had to have been a reason . What did you say to her prior to thinking that you were going “to smush” ? That’s me watchin’ too much damn “Jersey Shore “.

    So the Canes are embroiled in another fiasco of their own making ? How’d they get involved with a now convicted felon who ran a Ponzi Scheme that bilked clients out of almost $ 1 billion ? Did I missing something ? My god I long for the days when that program was simply arrogant and was actually doing something in college football ! LOL,LOL,LOL !!! Now all they seem to be known for is churning out some NFL players and have mediocre seasons ! I hear WDAE’s Dan Silio may well look for the ouster of Al Golden if he’s not up to scratch this season .

    Not Anymore !

    You must’ve missed the above ?

    tophatal ……..

    tophatal …………….

  20. Good stuff. I would watch that episode, and think of the publicity you’d get for the blog! Who knows, maybe you could even get famous making a sex tape!

  22. Love it! Wondered the same thing about the massive hands. Like the Bubble Boy from Seinfeld.

  23. Chris

    What the hell is wrong in the Tampa Bay area ? The game between the Bucs and Pats will be blacked out because 55,000 fans can’t be bothered to turn up and watch the team in a preseason matchup ?

    Yeah not only can’t baseball work in this area but it now seems neither can the NFL ! Go figure !

    tophatal ………….

  24. So, Al, Butch Davis is a coach that’s been hired to clean up programs and here he’s left both Miami and North Carolina in shambles.

    He’s quickly becoming the Calipari of college football.

  27. Kelly taking time out of her busy schedule to leave a comment. To what do we owe the pleasure?

    I guess I need to add some hand calisthenics to my regular repertoire.

  28. Chris

    Much of the Canes’ malaise came under Coker’s watch concerning these latest developments . But herein lies the real truth the program was always dirty once Jimmy Johnson and Dennis Erickson came into being at Miami .

    And you wonder how Drew Rosenhaus got so much access on campus ? Hell it was all in you simply showed and waved $$$ bills !

    So the NFL Supplemental Draft will be suspended indefinitely according to NFL sources ? What’s Pryor going to do ? I guess Drew’ll (Rosenhaus) think of something no doubt !

    More Bang For The Buck … Or Let’s Just Say Simply More Fizzle For The Money ………… !

    Don’t let chappy’s comments ’bout CC rile you .

    tophatal ……..

  30. Chris

    So the Plant High School football coach is now implicated in the Nev Shapiro mess at “The U” ? He’s denying any culpability and apparently the FHSAA says they believe that he’s done nothing wrong. How can that be when his players are associating with college boosters and agents , never mind the impropriety of having possibly received monetary gifts and tickets to various sporting events ?

    Now by all accounts players were also frequenting casinos and adult entertainment clubs . Now that’s something that’d peek my interest if I were still in college or high school ……. the casinos and strip clubs that is !

    tophatal …………

  32. Miami’s screwed, Al.

    And now it’s coming out that Pryor committed even more indiscretions while in Columbus?

    I love the fact that the NFL is seriously looking into his case for precedent to determine whether to allow him into their supplemental draft.

    Somehow, somewhere, there needs to be repercussions for stupidity.

  36. Chris

    If Goodell is now said to be looking into this concerning Pryor then look for Drew Rosenhaus quite possibly looking to force his (Goodell’s) hand by lodging a lawsuit in the court system . Anything that takes away from his client and money going into his pocket will p#s him off .

    Drew don’t roll that way ’cause he’s become a hood rat having associated himself so many ex Canes’ players who became his clients .

    tophatal …………

  37. I won’t dog the U for something that’s totally out of their fan’s control. I will dog a certain U doucher who took the time to write a diatribe of how Tressel was some sort of mafia don who condoned Pryor’s behavior.

    WAKE UP people. These “systems” have been in place for decades upon decades. Now the NFL want’s us to think that they’re going to help clean up the NCAA mess by suspending Pryor for the first 5 games? Maybe if the NFL took care of their retired players with an ounce of respect for what those players did for the NFL, maybe then I’d see the NFL as an organization who acts out of true compassion rather than the typical KNEE JERK’s that they seem to be.

  38. Chris

    I hope you enjoyed last night’s game ? Good to see my Pats lay some wood ….. behind the woodshed ! How ’bout them Pats but more to the point where were the Bucs ?

    So Goodell is that …. big a hypocrite ? One minute it’s Pryor won’t be eligible for the supplemental draft the next he’ll be ineligible for the first five games of the regular season as a form of punishment . What ” ###king ” punishment ? The kid made thousands while at Ohio State and this suspension is merely a slap on the wrist . Who’s counseling Goodell …….. members from the NCAA ?

    tophatal …………

  42. Al…

    My boys and I had a great time last night, except for the fact that the Buccaneers got absolutely embarrassed.

    We were drunk and it STILL looked bad.

    I’m thinking Bucs under 8 this season is the right play, Al. They play too many good teams that can exploit their inexperience.

  43. There was a fellow who dropped the verbal hammer against not only Tressel but the Buckeye fans as well at another site. He happens to be a Canes fan. What comes around, goes around. I’m not going to rail against a school because I know about the “system” that every major NCAA school has. I will point out the fact that the guy is now eating a crow sandwhich, or maybe a bit of stork.

  44. FtC…

    Every day I wake up, I hope not to hear news of any scandal in the University of Florida’s recruiting.

    That’s how bad it’s gotten these days.

  45. Pingback: Sports Chump » Ebbs and woes: Tim Tebow, Tony LaRussa, Kim Kardashian, Eagles, Saints, college football realignment and Big Foot

  46. It was fun to read this again 2+ months later. After what’s been happening this past week, it looks like Kris Humphries is the real chump in sports. How will he ever live this down? This fiasco was even worse than the aborted Richard Jefferson wedding. But no matter what, Kim still does have a fine looking ass. I just watched the 40 minute porn video with Kim and rapper Ray J. That girl has absolutely no shame.

  47. Thank you, sir.

    I had fun writing this one.

    And with the NBA lockout still ever-present, the post still holds true.

    Unfortunately, however, the good folks at CBS have yet to contact me about my episode.

    Fuckers!

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