As most of you already know, I rarely write about fishing. There’s good reason for that.
But when I heard about the unfortunate case of Carlos Rafael, I couldn’t resist… a caption contest.
Apparently, Mr. Rafael crew’s was asea off the New England coast when they caught a fish. A big fish. A really big fish!!!
Rafael’s boat ran across an 881-pound blue fin tuna, as seen in the photograph below. Even though Rafael’s crew had all the required permits, since they didn’t use a rod-and-reel to catch the fish (is that even possible?), but rather swept it up with a net, Rafael was forced to relinquish it to the authorities.
Federal fishery (say that five times fast) seized the big tuna, not to be confused with Bill Parcells, and according to Yahoo, sold it for just under $400,000. Rafael didn’t receive a dime. The case is still under investigation.
So, readers, I proudly present this week’s caption contest. Every article I’ve read on Rafael offered only the corniest of ‘the one that got away’ taglines. I know we can do better than that. The proud winner of this week’s contest will receive my own personal recipe for tuna fish sandwiches and a pair of slightly used, chop sticks.
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I’m gonna get this party started because I have high expectations for this one.
My two entries…
“Has anyone seen my family size jar of mayonnaise??
and
“SWEET! Tuna for Thanksgiving!”
You can tune a piano, but you can’t tune a fish.
Snake…
What’s worse than lobsters on your piano?
Wait for it….
Crabs on your organ.
Jim Halpert really gained some weight!
Actually, Chap, I was thinking more along the lines of the two Portuguese fishermen that Peter Griffin used to employ.
To show that we here at the Federal Fishery are not the corrupt, heartless assholes that we appear to be we have decided to give Raphael and his men this much tuna to share.
I have three suggestions! Sorry for so many, just couldn’t help myself!
Compliments of 1983’s Scarface, a heavily quoted movie from my house:
“I gonna carve him up real nice.” ~ Tony Montana
And since this is off the coast of Mass, home of “my” Boston Red Sox, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention something about that, after all, I am “Dee Dee Dreams of Fenway”:
“This big guy shared fried chicken, beer and biscuits with Boston’s bull pen.”
“Wow! My net did not collapse, unlike Boston’s 2011 season.”
Chris Humpherys
That’ll go down well because it’ll be auctioned off and the proceeds will go towards Valentine’s salary when he’s hired by Cherington and the Red Sox .
So little time so much bull_hit and still people are aggrieved that Verlander won the AL MVP . What gives ?
tophatal ……….
Aer…
That’d be like winning the lottery and not being able to find the ticket, or worse yet, having them review your ticket and find out you didn’t fill in all the holes correctly.
Dee Dee, ZING!!!
Trust me, the more comments the merrier.
And we’re always good with some Scarface references. A couple quaaludes and you’ll love me in the morning.
And let me ask you this. Who the heck are the Sox going to land as their new manager? And does he like KFC and Pabst Blue Ribbon?
Al…
As I mentioned on your Verlander post, I’m not sure why so many people had problems with him winning MVP.
Nowhere is it written that the award has to go to an every day player, particularly if there are no every day players deserving.
Verlander carried that team every time he took the mound. Without him, they miss the playoffs. With him, they won the division.
And can Boston do no better than hiring another retread in Bobby Valentine?
I’m not sure of the exact wording, but I see potential for a hell of a Summer’s Eve commercial in this…
Chris
Well there was talk that Cherington and Lucchino were about to approach Joe Torre ( EVP within the MLB hierarchy answering directly to ” honest “ Bud Selig ) about the job but rumor has it the former Yankees’ manager has his eyes on Selig’s position .
Now what ?
The Red Sox uniform will be redesigned to resemble the ensemble worn by Coco The Clown and his world renowned troupe .
tophatal ……….
.
Chris, I do not like fish, but dig the aroma.
JW comment hysterical. This does appear to be a good place for a Stick Up!
Would love to see that big boy on a bed-sized slab of rice…
J-Dub…
On that note, Happy Thanksgiving.
Please pass the vinegar.
Al…
Torre might as well take the Sox gig.
After all, Meyer’s going to Ohio State.
And don’t worry, I’ll have my thoughts up on that soon.
RB….
I know longer cook salmon in the house for just that reason.
Mr. Big Stuff…
Glad to see you back among the living.
Nice stick-up line but you’re dating us. Fortunately this is a website for mature gentlemen only who can appreciate such humor.
Chris
Torre won’t do that not when he might well be in line to succeed Selig as the next commissioner of baseball .
The Bucs , the Bucs , the Bucs ! What else is there to say ? Their season implodes in front of our very eyes !
tophatal ………….
Al…
It’s becoming more and more obvious each week that the Bucs don’t have the players to compete at the highest level.
Ha, I was trying to come up one with parcells in it, but ultimately couldn’t…
What’s Parcells doing these days, other than maintaining his Charlie Weis physique?
“I rarely write about fishing” I should hope that for my stuff that goes without saying…Made me laugh my ass off man…
And you’ll never see “Charlie Weis” and “physique” in the same sentence again.
Meehan
Mee…
Not without the words “fat ass” included in between them.