See, gang? This is why I never dunk a basketball, and I swear my ever-decreasing vertical leap (not that there ever was one) has anything to do with it.
NBA announcers regularly speak of being “posterized” when one superstar slam dunks on another, but rarely, does one “posterize” oneself… until now.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet Shelden Williams, former Duke Blue Devil, current New Jersey Net and the focus of our latest caption contest.
Thanks to Shelden, those of us who have never dunked a basketball are suddenly grateful for that inability. That’s why I stick to blogging. The worst I get is a minor case of carpal tunnel.
At Shelden’s expense (or rather the expense of his nose), I proudly present this week’s caption contest. The week’s winner will not only receive one free box of nasal strips, unopened, but also one complimentary lesson of how NOT to dunk by yours truly.
Bring your Nikes … and happy captioning.
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Do we just submit in the comments? Here is mine: “See, Steve Nash isn’t the only guy who can make a shot with a broken nose.”
Danny Granger’s face says it all: “Ewwwwwww Boogers!!!”
It’s been so hard to find a replacement since Sam Hurd got busted.
Rick Scott in a recent interview was asked ….. governor what are your thoughts on the Bucs’ present predicament ? His response was ………. well I simply loved Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean , I ,II , III, IV & V ! ‘nough said on the matter I think !
From the producers of Looney Tune’s Space Jam comes the next generation featuring Sheldon Williams in Face Jam…
(This time it’s personal)
Well, Sheldon helped my $2 draftstreet team win $125 last night!
“Can I make myself any uglier?”
“Let’s see the seals at SeaWorld do this!”
I was thinking more along the lines of Richard Hamilton, like where’s Rip’s face guard when I need it?
Grainger looks like he’s playing some matador defense there, Bert.
Maybe he’s afraid of mucus after all.
I haven’t heard much about Hurd these days. What happened to him?
Is he locked up? Did he make bail? He should have had Sandusky’s attorney. That guy had more get out of jail free cards than anyone I know.
Maybe Scott’s trying to get the 11 to 14 year old vote because those are the only people I know who watched those flicks and enjoyed them.
I’m looking forward to his Harry Potter resets.
That is friggin’ hysterical!
I’ll get you out those box of nose strips soon.
What, did no one else play?
Or did he lead the league in nose plants?
Shelden’s definitely not one of the best looking cats in the NBA, although isn’t he married to Candace Parker? She’s easy on the eyes.
In my mind, though, Tyrone Hill is still the ugliest man to ever play the game.
I have a feeling the seals do that a little more gracefully.
Check out my Karl Malden impression.
Nice one, Dub.
Reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Peter is doing lines with Karl Malden and complaining that he barely got any.
Williams …… It’s so hard to find good talent in the NBA nowadays that’s why I’m here doin’ this ” .
LeBron just got engaged to his childhood sweetheart and the mother of his two kids . Question is , will that be the only ring placed on his finger this ; season ?
Good question, Al.
If I give you the Heat or the field to win an NBA title this season, which do you take?
The good news is that the ball hides that elongated mug of his that makes him look like he’s the lovechild of Carrie Bradshaw and Beetlejuice from Howard Stern.
How the hell did Corky here pull Candace Parker anyhow?
That about sums up the start of the NETS season. hilarious!
Why I don’t bet much on NBA sides.
Miami visits a hot Atlanta team. Spo and Riles realize it’s gonna be a tough game. Subsequently, LBJ and DWade both nursing minor injuries are given the night off. Bosh plays like Kareem and Chalmers steps to another level. Depleted bench and they WIN in triple OT. Shutting out the Hawks in the third OT. Go figure!
Chris, Hamilton’s transparent face guard?
LOL, forgot about that gem.
Right place, right time, I guess.
Speaking of odd marriages, did you read that Tiger’s ex tore down a $12 million house in order to build a new one?
Must be nice.
That was the most surprising thing about the Deron Williams signing last year.
Why would he go there?
I mean, I know they have a rich, Russian billionaire owner. I know the team will soon be moving to Brooklyn. I know that a roster spot comes complete with the entire Jay-Z collection and the chance to meet Beyonce.
But they’re still the Nets and Julius Erving is not walking through that door any time soon.
Even IF they do land Dwight Howard, they’re still one major signing, and a few other very important acquisitions away, from being a serious playoff contender.
And if they lose Deron Williams, which they probably will, there’ll be no hope at all, which is why, again, I never understood his decision to go there in the first place.
The only way I really ever bet, whether it’s football or basketball, is parlaying or round-robining fat dogs together for a monster payout.
Remind me to tell you about the time my boy and I won 11 grand on your average NBA Tuesday evening.
Needless to say, we were pretty happy that night.
Mr. Spaulding, Mr. Williams
Posterizing For Dummies
Posterizing – Solitaire Edition
In any case, he clearly doesn’t grasp the concept of posterizing. You’re not supposed to make yourself the victim.
Way to bring the Karl Malden gag back to the Sam Hurd/Cocaine issue. This is why you are the Blogger of the Millenium.
To answer your original question, Hurd is out on $100K bond awaiiting trial.
Kudos to the camera guy who nailed that shot, huh?
Although I’m not sure Shelden’s all that happy with his work.
When Michael used to bounce the ball of his head after dunking, that was cool.
This? Not so much.
His Dearest Dubfulness…
Considering what the Hurdenator was pulling down selling product, that 100 K was probably a drop in the bucket.
How sleazy do you figure this guy’s attorney is?
Chris, the type of betting you mentioned strikes fear in your average bookmaker. Really!! Good strategy. You can lose for weeks and a few good days you needa wheelbarrel.
With Deron Williams, Brook Lopez and the other Humphries out of the game, someone had to put up some numbers while they were getting blown out! He was cheap, so even though his stats weren’t through the roof, he put up 20-21 fantasy points…
That’s why the smaller bookies won’t take those bets and some online services will even cap the payout.
My boy and I hit a four-teamer one night, boxed all four of them. The top payout was 432:1. Four long NBA dogs.
Eleven $11 bets, so a total of $110 on the board, paid out huge.
The girl I was dating at the time wanted an engagement ring with my winnings. She didn’t get one.
Needless to say we’re no longer together, he he.
Nice work, Chap.
I actually thought Shelden would always be a serviceable small/power forward in the NBA even though he was undersized. He was an animal at Duke.
He’s holding his own so far but I wonder what percentage of fantasy basketball owners, other than you of course, actually have him on their roster.
Both the Heat and Bulls ought to be able to sleepwalk their way through the Eastern Conference during the regular season after that during the postseason it’s all a matter of not becoming complacent .
Speaking of which ………. Miracle at Mile High or simply that the Steelers played really bad ? Matty Ice and the Falcons now ought to be heading to Home Depot where they’ll find Arthur Blank (company co-founder and Falcons’ owner) and ask him how they go about repairing that defense . ‘nough said !
And on the eighth day God created Tim Tebow in a his own image . Wow ! How ’bout them Steelers ?
I agree with you on the Bulls and Heat, Al, but the Hawks are also making a nice early splash.
I think we’re already seeing the eight teams in the East that will make the playoffs, which are those three along with Boston, Orlando, New York, Philly and Indiana. These eight will be jockeying for position all season with few surprises.
And yes, man, that Broncos game yesterday was incredible.