Will the real Cal Ripken please stand up?

Wow, I can’t believe I just realized this.  I guess I’m a little slow on the draw.

I’ll admit to enjoying mindless, guilty pleasures every now and then.  Don’t hold it against me but I used to watch my fair share of Jerry Springer back in the day.  Who didn’t?  Like most superficial males, I jump at the opportunity to catch a good cat fight or the unexpected, unveiling of a random breast.  Back in the day, watching Springer dramatically increased your odds of seeing just that.

Probably to the overall betterment of society, Springer’s not on the air much anymore, however, it looks like he’s allowed his former head of security, Steve Wilkos, to take over his show.  Now I don’t know Wilkos’ background, nor did I find it necessary to look it up on the internet, but I’m pretty sure he’s not a former mayor, like Springer, nor that he’s in any way qualified to psychoanalyze the problems of people he barely knows.  I guess being surrounded by dysfunction for so many years qualifies him to host his own talk show.  (If that’s the case, shouldn’t we all qualify?)

While flipping the channels the other day and catching Wilkos interview some under-aged, pregnant, midget stripper complaining how her baby’s daddy was cheating on her with her perennially unemployed cousin, I thought to myself, what the hell is Cal Ripken, Jr. doing hosting the Jerry Springer show?

You gotta admit, these two look pretty damn alike, minus the 2632 games played streak and the 3184 career hits, although after patrolling the Springer show for so long, Wilkos probably has that many hits of his own.  Not only do they look alike but their names even SOUND the same.  Steve Wil-kos.  Cal Rip-ken.   Were they separated at birth?  Has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?  Is Wilkos the missing Orioles infielder?

Or maybe this generation’s Iron Horse simply missed his calling.  Sure, he was a pretty good baseball player but if Magic Johnson can host his own talk show, then why can’t Ripken?  He gets his fair share of face time on the MLB Network but maybe he should consider branching out to a more dysfunctional brand of television.  CBS has that Same Name show where famous people with the same name change places with others who lead normal lives.  Why not famous look-alikes?  Wilkos can go through life having people mistakenly tell him he was the greatest player of the 1980s and Ripken can break up fights between tank top-wearing hillbillies arguing over the love of their fourteen year-old girlfriend.

Now if we could just give Ripken a bat for those episodes, we’d have ourselves some quality entertainment!

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21 Replies to “Will the real Cal Ripken please stand up?”

  1. Wilko is an ex cop but let’s get over that for the moment . My issue with the Ripper as in Ripken , is the the fact he wants to build a baseball academy in the Bay area but he’s looking for residents ( ne’ —- the dumb ##s politicians to enact a vote) to foot the bill for the edifice . He believes that the economic impact to the community will be as much as between $10-$15 million a year . Since when have either Pinellas much less Hillsborough County been willing to spend that sort of money on a none related infrastructure exercise ? Oh I forgot they’re still forking out money with regard to the Rays and Bucs and not essentially getting anything tangible back in return !

    If Rich DeVos puts the Magic </a. up for sale will you form a syndicate and lodge a formal bid for the NBA franchise ? I’m in if you are ?

    So Mayweather is %%%sed that he can’t get the fight with Pacquiao that’d guarantee him a minimum payday of between $45-$75 million but he’s now going to fight Miguel Cotto on May 5th ? Did I miss something as to the relevance of him fighting Cotto ?

    Sad about the death of Angelo Dundee (age 90) ……. former trainer of Ali , Sugar Ray Leonard, and Foreman in his later years ! In all he took thirteen guys to world titles in different weight categories over the course of five decade plus training career .

    Sad when the old timers of the sport suddenly start to bite the dust ! Next up may well be Ali , himself as he’s now not often seen in public .

    tophatal …………………

  2. So do they still call it the Jerry Springer show even though he’s no longer the host?

    Not sure why, but I don’t remember Wilkos on the show. Maybe I was more focused on the trash on stage yelling at eachother…

  3. Pingback: Will the real Cal Ripken please stand up? - BallHyped, MLB | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  4. Man I knew there was something about that show. Not only are Steve and Cal dopplegangers, but have you ever seen Jerry Springer and Steve Miller in the same place? And they’re both musicians. Spooky man, real spooky.


  5. You gotta love Jerry Springer. Imagine the poor sap was picked up for soliciting a prostitute. Hey, that happens, but Jerry you can’t pay her fee with a check. GEEZ.

  6. Chris

    You’ve got to pay the piper before you can have a say ! I mean the Mets are offering a 5% stake in the team for between $15 -$20 million and that doesn’t even guarantee you a pot to ##ss in no less ! Should I be worried about Gronkowski’s high ankle sprain ? My problem as a Pats fan with his association with renowned porn star Bibi Jones ( see link for pic of Gronk’ & Jones) I’d like to really know how that injury came about ! Pats’ fan have got way too much vested in this game to find out the team’s most productive offensive weapon’s injury may well have been caused by him actually laying the wood to Jones !

    Braves’ player Dan Uggla apparently has also had the pleasure of savoring Jones’ goody’s . Nice !

    tophatal ………………

  7. Wow, it’s amazing how both Wilko and Ripken really do look alike. I wouldn’t mind watching Cal Ripken do his own talk show, but I doubt the guy is into that kind of stuff.

  8. Al…

    Gronkowski’s health has undoubtedly been the storyline of Super Bowl XLVI, so much so that we haven’t even heard whether Bradshaw’s foot is at 100%. You’d think that’d be just as important, no?

    Even though all anyone really wants to talk about is Peyton’s neck.

  9. BS…

    Or better yet, how about a burned out baseball stars of the 80s talk show, starring Jose Canseco, Kevin Mitchell, Lenny Dykstra, Darryl Strawberry, Dwight Gooden. Who else am I forgetting?

    Cocaine is a helluva drug.

  10. I didn’t know who Wilkos was, but showed the pictures to my husband and he recognized Wilkos immediately, even said his full name…then he asks who the other guy was! Gasp! He didn’t KNOW Cal? How can he be married to a baseball freak like me and not know Cal Ripken, Jr? Ha ha ha!
    Have a happy & safe Super Bowl Day!
    Dee Dee

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