The mishandled Ryan Braun drug test and the hypocrisy of Major League Baseball

Major League Baseball is a joke.

Okay, now that I’ve got that off my chest, let me repeat myself.

Major League Baseball is a joke.

Somewhere, lost in all the incessant Jeremy Lin coverage that ESPN has been shoving down our throats, we lost sight of the fact that last season’s Most Valuable Player was accused of taking steroids and has since by been exonerated, all because of a technicality.  Word on the street is his drug test was “mishandled.”

The “proper protocol was not followed” excuse that baseball is feeding us borders on the ridiculous.  Braun (allegedly) failed a drug test in October, 2011. It’s now February 2012 and we’re just finding out now that he’s ‘not guilty.’  I’ve had airlines return lost luggage sooner than that.

Never mind the fact that Ryan Braun is Jewish or that he plays for the Milwaukee Brewers, a team formerly owned by 77 year old commissioner Bud Selig.  I’m not crying conspiracy theory (or am I) but this whole thing insults our intelligence.

Dare I suggest that the Ryan Braun story is BIGGER than both the NFL and NBA pre-season labor disputes?  Those leagues were arguing over money, not integrity.  Here we have a former league MVP accused of violating “the strictest drug policy in all of professional sports” in a sport that is only recently recovering from a scandal that stands to discredit every modern record it holds dear.

Now we’re expected to believe Braun’s innocent because Fedex didn’t get some Tupperware to the lab on time?  What a brilliant excuse.  Why didn’t Roger Clemens think of it sooner?  And how does Fedex feel about being thrown under the bus or did Major League Baseball pay them off as the patsy of the pee test?  When it absolutely, positively has to be there over night, my ass.

I’m not suggesting Braun is guilty but this is what we were all told a few months back.  Did it really take them four months to invent some lame “lost in the mail” excuse?  Why didn’t they just come out and say their dog ate it?

Think about it, which is more believable?  The fact that Major League Baseball covered up that its MVP used performance enhancers or that his pee test got lost in the mail?  When’s the last time you didn’t get a bill in the mail?  Ever?

And what of the over-extended pee test?  Were there guys in lab coats standing around a lab, staring at Braun’s expired stool sample, and asking what to do now?  Why do I feel like more and more that those around me are extras from the cast of Idiocracy?

I’m hesitant to send these thoughts to the major network(s) for fear my website will be shut down.  The long arm of the rat reaches far.

Let me just finish this rant by saying, I really don’t care which athletes take which drugs to enhance their performance.  But the fact that the institutions platform so heavily against it, then blame their futility on a mailman and expect us to believe that, is absolutely ludicrous, not to mention hypocritical.

Hopefully someday soon, professional sports, and the networks that cover them, will realize that fans are not stupid.  We just don’t give a shit.

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36 Replies to “The mishandled Ryan Braun drug test and the hypocrisy of Major League Baseball”

  1. Pingback: Major League Baseball is a jok … - BallHyped, MLB | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  2. MLB = hypocrisy? No shit.

    This just in: Roger Clemens & Barry Bonds are both converting to Judaism. Expect both of them to be fast-tracked into the Hall of Fame. Can you see Pete Rose making his Bar Mitzvah any time soon?

  3. I can’t help but think there’s still another “leak” coming with this story. Neither Braun’s presser nor MLB’s official statement seemed like an end-all to me. Unfortunately, there will be more to come from this story.

  4. The ol racism card eh? I can’t say I disagree in anyway. All I know is when someone hits a homer I don’t ask myself if they used PED’s, because the pitcher might be on them too. The conspiracy theory goes deeper though when you factor in kemp should’ve won the MVP last year hands down!!

  5. We should commend MLB and their in depth steroid policy and the idiocy of the lab used to conduct these tests ! I mean let’s not forget we’ve got a bunch of geriatrics on seated on baseball’s hierarchy whose biggest concern may well be the size of their prostate and the fact that the first stages of Alzheimer’s might be just beginning to set in .
    Selig earns in excess of $25 million a year and under his tenure as the commissioner ultimately what has he actually given the public ? But yet there are idiots out there who continue to think that this game still has some semblance of integrity and decency about it . What planet are they living on if they actually believe that ##it ?

    tophatal ……….

    tophatal ……….

  6. There’s way more to this story than meets the eye. My take on this will be coming soon. I’m sure you will want to check that out…

  7. Chris

    If ever I’m asked to give a urine or blood sample by a potential employer or law enforcement I’m making the request that it be tested by the lab used by the hierarchy of MLB ! ‘nough said !

    tophatal ………………

  8. Actually, Mun, I think exactly the opposite.

    I think Major League Baseball will sweep this story under the rug, like they always do, hoping and praying that we fans forget it ever happened.

    That’s what’s so offensive about the whole thing. I honestly think the sport thinks we’re stupid, when, like I mentioned, it’s more that we just don’t give a damn.

    Selig can’t leave office soon enough BUT the only good thing about his contract being extended is that he’ll be forced to face Bonds, Clemens and the rest of the steroids gang in their first year of Hall of Fame eligibility.

    Trust me, I have my popcorn ready. There will be some definite side-stepping going on. Get your boots on.

  9. Chap…

    Can you imagine if they had stripped Braun of his MVP award and given it to Kemp, only to find out someone mishandled his test? How sweet would that have been? Probably why they didn’t do it in the first place because they planned to overturn it all along.

    And somewhere, Mike Greenwell is still pissed Jose Canseco stole his MVP.

  10. Commend MLB, Al?


    Are you sure this is Al talking or just someone using his log in name pulling a prank.

    Look, if baseball wants to get serious about its drug-testing policy, then it should have a damn Brink truck haul every bucket of piss possible to the lab and have it tested properly, or simply admit it doesn’t want to bust its best players, its faces of the league and most certainly not its former MVPs.

    C’mon, Al, you’re not getting soft on me and PLEASE don’t tell me you’re believing this line of crap that baseball is currently selling us.

  11. There is simply no other way to go than a zero-tolerance policy. He must serve the suspension, and is completely responsible for what goes into his body.

    A good analogy is penalties. If an offensive lineman commits a false start, he did it on accident, like Braun supposedly did with a PED. Both serve the consequences.

  12. I can tell you this about our New Wave curriers. I’ve had money stolen from these same creeps that wanna put the US Postal Service outta biz……….Oh wait, matter of fact they’ve misplaced a few of my packages themselves.

    This whole RBraun scenario? I think the real MVP Kemp is behind it. LOL

  13. This whole subject get about a 9.5 on the Pissed-o-meter.

    I just can’t get behind any grand conspiracy theories, although if you think about it, how hard would it be to get a box off a FedEx truck to tamper with the contents?

    This really boils down to incompetence, starting with MLB and the construct of its testing policy to the lab, which I picture something like “Beaker” from the Muppet Show.

    But here’s the million-dollar question for you.Why is there all this righteous indignation about PEDs in baseball, while nobody cares in football? Remember when Brian Cushing won Defensive Rookie of the Year, then tested positive? Remember how they took away the award, had another vote, and he won it again?

    I said it before, and I’ll say it again. This is all a bunch of bullshit.

  14. Great read Chris! Thanks for inviting me to read your opinion on this whole disgraceful drug issue with Ryan Braun. MLB needs to really evaluate a bit further. Not just on Braun but in terms of the whole drug procedure. It has gotten to the point where it is now comical. It feels like every time a player takes a media dump, all that MLB wants to do is shove it under the rug… the league has not looked this bad. Time to clean it up Selig!

  15. Sam…

    That’s the problem here.

    What does Major League Baseball do now?

    If they adhere to a “no tolerance policy,” which they’ve claimed to profess, then they have to go after Braun, which means taking the whole thing to court, a case we all know will eventually get dismissed, making MLB look even more incompetent than they already are.

    That’s why I think this whole thing will be swept under the rug, and serve as yet another black eye on the resume of what some idiots will probably end up calling one of the best commissioners ever.

  16. Dub…

    Actually, I give it a 9.5 on the no-shit-o-meter. No shit in the sense that baseball still has no clue on how to pattrol itself.

    Riddle me this, Batman.

    As crappy as we claim David Stern to be in this day and age, when’s the last time you remember any sort of serious drug scandal bringing down the NBA.

    We know players do recreational drugs and we deal with it. They’re human beings that make a crapload of money and we accept that. For some reason, Selig has a hair up his ass about drug use in his sport.

    He made this bed and now he has to lay in it. Is there any way we can re-institute public lynching? I mean, just for him.

  17. RB…

    Follow-up drug test?

    Yeah, right.

    Is there any way we can test Selig for Viagra?

    How sweet would it be if his results showed up way over the normal amounts?

  18. Chain of custody my ass. Braun was ridin’ dirty. Nobody gets to those levels without help. He lawyered up and there grasping at a technicality to avoid the suspension. In my opinion Braun is a liar and a cheat and they should ban him for at least a year.
    As for MLB, what the hell do expect from those clowns? They make the Keystone cops look like freakin’ Sherlock Holmes.

  19. How about this, Aer?

    Do any of us really care any more?

    I mean, who are you more upset with at this point? Braun or the league?

    If there’s a publicist that can make this whole thing go away, then he’s worth his weight in gold.

  20. Chris, thanks for stopping by and seeing my take. As you know, my focus now would be on making the testing as mistake-proof as possible…but making sure everyone fully realizes when you dabble in the “practice” of medicine mistakes will always happen. Some stupidly obvious, some in the interpretation. Reputations can be unfairly scarred. That is one of many reasons why I wouldn’t even bother testing for this stuff.

  21. Chris

    When baseball gets serious about drug testing will be the day that you can walk into a bank hold it up and be sure that you won’t face criminal charges . I mean these are the very same idiots (baseball league hierarchy) who refused to undertake the original testing protocols adhered to by WADA . Baseball much like cycling and its governing body the ICU are being run by ##sholes ! Can’t put it anymore succinctly than that ! Bud Selig decries Shyam Das’ (arbitrator of the tribunal ) decision to overturn the 50 game suspension of the player . But why hasn’t the league been critical of the profound mistakes made by the lab ? Let me pose that question to you ? Then you can understand where I’m coming from because I have never been enamored with Selig and his tenure ! He’s simply $$#ked up the game beyond recognition in spite of what his lame a##ed supporters are saying !

    tophatal ……

  22. SA….

    The problem is that baseball made such a big deal about all this stuff in the first place, and maybe rightfully so.

    They needed to clean up their sport.

    But now, with the Braun case, they’re the ones that broke the story and now they’re going to have to be the ones to amend it somehow.

  23. Kemp 50/50 season? No way in Chavez Ravine. The only 50 guaranteed is intentional and semi-intentional walks he gets.

    My gripe with the shipwreck called the LA Dodgers is their managerial selections and the way they let the press insinuate the sexual preference of the greatest pitcher of all time. Hey, Vin Scully is good, but don’t you think it’s about time we stopped the “one more year” nonsense? Oh yeah, the ‘ratholing’ McCourts cudda left a little more $$ for ballpark security?

  24. Hey, RB…

    At least you’ll always have that annoying Kirk Gibson, elbow-pumping video to fall back on, or perhaps some of vintage Tommy Lasorda Slim Fast commercials.


  25. Chris

    Bernie Madoff would feel at ease if he were in the employ of MLB under Selig’s tenure ! The game has always been a f@@king sham prior to and after the game became desegregated . Now it is way beyond that as the tenure has lost all sense of reality .

    In what world would you have a governing body try to apportion blame elsewhere after the league and a damn laboratory screw things up in the way that they have done ? Furthermore who the hell has been providing MLB with their legal counsel ? Surely it’s not some actor on tv portraying the characters ………… Ben Matlock or Perry Mason ? Does Selig actually live in the “real world ” or the world of reality tv ? Never mind the moronic idiots and on air MLB analysts who swill from the porcelain pot that the commissioner defecates and urinates in when they come to his support repeatedly !

    tophatal ………………….

  26. Chris

    Brown (UPS) gets your delivery there thought not necessarily always on time . Fedex on the other hand … well who knows ?

    Ryan Braun feels vindicated ? Nah , some dumb a#s lab employee saved his career but the “court of public opinion” …. now takes center stage . ‘nough said on the matter I think for now !

    I say Suns’ owner Robert Sarver ought to do the right thing and allow Nash to leave rather than Nash trying to be the hero in stating that he’d like to end his career with the organization !

    Trade deadline (15th March) looming in the NBA ………… here’s to you ,a href=””> Dwight it’s nice in LA at this time of year </b/ I’m told . So don’t listen to your grandmother or mother ………… well at least not this time for once !

    tophatal …………….

  27. Chris

    Eric Holder as head of the US Justice Dept is said to be looking for a few new hires ….. no legal experience required in terms of being a lawyer as their primary task will be not to chase down and prosecute criminals but simply waste the taxpayers’ monies by pushing paper . Job pays on average $75,000 to $100, 000 a year in some cases far higher and the benefits are said to be great . Are you or any of your patrons interested ?

    I mean after the fiasco surround the $15 million plus spent on the BALCO investigation and Bonds’ trial …. is there anything left to be said ? There are drug barons and dealers infesting the streets with hard drugs that has killed so many individuals but the Justice Dept wants to indict and convict a ball player (Bonds and Clemens) for lying under oath to a Federal law enforcement officer ? I can think of 535 members in the federal legislator that have done far worse than Bonds . Can’t you ? Using insider trading information (House and Senate members ) to make and pocket millions of dollars but only recently have they seen fit to change that particular law . But if you or I were to do that , the minimum sentence we’d be looking at dependent upon the egregiousness of the act would be anywhere between five to 10 years in federal facility .

    Granted, Martha Stewart did get off lightly with her little faux-pas and mea-culpa . Money begats money as they say in the right hands , when it comes to the justice system it can get you almost anything …. like a pristine cell in a prison that would put the penthouse suite of a luxury hotel to shame .

    tophatal ……………

  28. SK…

    That’s the whole point.

    Baseball has tried to clean itself up and still can’t. It touts itself as having the strongest drug policy of the major sports yet is really the only sport to continue to have any sort of drug problem at all.

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