We were about to elect a president who was fornicating everything in sight, but we didn’t care because the economy was good. Silence of the Lambs won best picture, Roseanne was still funny and as seen in the video below, not only was it cool for black guys to wear spandex, but there was apparently some “I’m a better dancer than you are” spat between the now broke MC Hammer and the currently deceased Michael Jackson. Furthermore, steroids were something sports fans only associated with professional wrestling and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
That year, Hammer was doing his best to follow up the unprecedented success of his Rick James sampled “Can’t Touch This” only a year before. Regardless of what you think of “Too Legit To Quit,” it had a catchy hook and the album went triple platinum. Aside from that, the most enjoyable part of the video, other than James Brown in the intro of course, is the end of the song where the biggest athletes of the day performed the “Too Legit To Quit” mantra with their thumbs, forefingers and a simple flick of the wrist.
In addition to some athletes we still revere like Kirby Puckett, Chris Mullin, Jerry Rice and David Robinson, Hammer features a few other gentlemen we view a little differently twenty years later.
Jose Canseco – 8:22
Once upon a time, this Cuban-born kid from Miami was on the verge of revolutionizing the game. Not only could he hit for power, but he was a monster on the base paths. Canseco became the first major leaguer to hit 40 home runs and steal 40 bases in a single season.
Then he got big. Fans noticed but didn’t think twice about it. Neither did Major League Baseball. The arms of he and Oakland A’s teammate Mark McGwire got progressively larger, as did the distance they hit a baseball.
Canseco eventually became the poster-child for steroid use in the sport. In 2005, he released Juiced, a tell-all book about baseball’s rampant steroid use where he named names and made many an enemy.
These days, Canseco has become a parody of himself, what with all the celebrity boxing matches, tanning salon visits and reality TV shows, but once upon a time, back when MC Hammer was still relevant, Canseco was the most feared bat in the game.
Isiah Thomas – 8:24
By 1991, the Bad Boy Pistons had just finished their run of consecutive championships, led primarily by their point guard, team leader and best player, Isiah Thomas. Their reign ended that very year as Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls would soon rattle off three championships in a row. The Bad Boys were no more.
Thomas retired a few years later and became part owner of the Toronto Raptors, where he drafted such talent as Marcus Camby and Tracy McGrady. He left Toronto after only four years in the organization due to disagreements with fellow owners.
He later bought the Continental Basketball Association, which folded in only a few years. King Midas Isiah was not.
He went on to coach the Indiana Pacers and had reasonable success there in three years, but was summarily fired when Larry Bird took over general management duties in 2003. Thomas then became President of Basketball Operations for the New York Knicks but was released in the midst of a sexual harassment suit in 2007.
He most recently went on to coach in the college ranks, at FIU in Miami, but didn’t have much success their either, winning only 11 games in his best season.
Despite his talent, Isiah’s been outcast by the 1980s NBA click. He was left off the 1992 Dream Team because of how he played the game. To this day, no one will touch him with a ten foot pole.
Andre Rison and Deion Sanders – 8:34
“Spiderman” and “Prime Time” were teammates on the Atlanta Falcons in the early 1990s. Deion was one of the most insanely athletic talents we’ve ever known, excelling in both professional football and baseball. Rison went to the Pro Bowl every year he was with the Falcons, from 1990 to 1993, and ranked in the top five in receptions each of those years.
Then Deion found God and Andre married a hip-hop artist. In 1996, Sanders was arrested for misdemeanor trespassing and only recently, his on-again, off-again marriage to Pilar, mother of three of his five children, made headlines when SHE was arrested for domestic violence.
It’s not all bad for Deion these days. He was recently elected into the Pro Football Hall of Fame and serves as an analyst for the NFL Network. He just needs a little marital counseling. But then again, don’t we all.
In 1994, Rison had his house burned to the ground by long-time girlfriend Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes of TLC. There were more than just rumors of domestic abuse in this relationship as well. People don’t just burn houses to the ground for the hell of it. Lopes passed tragically in 2002 and after making nearly twenty million dollars playing professional football, Rison declared bankruptcy in 2007 for failure to pay child support.
Roger Clemens – 8:47
Finally, we get to the Rocket. I’m not going to bash the Boston-traitor, donut-eating, steroid-using, frosty-tipped Clemens more than my uncle already has.
The token, soul-less white guy in the video (Chris Mullin does not count for he clearly has soul), Clemens was still dominant for the Red Sox in 1991. Over a seven-year stretch, he had no fewer than 17 wins, including going 21-6 with a 1.93 ERA in 1990, finishing second in Cy Young voting to Bob Welch who went a very flash in the pan 27-6 that year. In no other season did Welch have more than 17 wins.
Despite his illustrious career on the field, along with Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens has since become the name we all associate with not only steroid use but perjury as well.
As for Hammer, he turned 50 this year. His balloon dance pants are hanging in a Planet Hollywood somewhere. Despite having sold 50 million records, Hammer declared bankruptcy in 1996. His moves will live on, however, as many to this day try to duplicate the Hammer dance unsuccessfully.
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I hold Zeke in high esteem as he single handed ruined the Knicks in the span of his reign as coach , team President and GM . You have to be friggin’ brilliant to do that or be a member of the current Cabinet administration with decision making powers .
So Ray Ray has now been joined by Rashard Lewis at the Miami Heat. Who says being a veteran in the NBA can’t pay ? Not unlike being a criminal , if you get caught committing a felony your a#s gets sent to jail . In the NBA even if you’re untalented you can still scrape by makin’ some cheddar .
See Juwan Howard’s stat lines with the Heat and his pay with the franchise .
Speaking of which, are they all anally retentive or simply brain dead within the front office of the Magic ? No head coach and no movement on trading Dwight Howard . What’s up with that ?
Laying Down the Law , Now Follow It ……….
Nobody’s Seen Troubles Like Me ………..
Rusty Hardin , Clemens’ lawyer has been hired by Adrian Peterson . Apparently he (Peterson) was unable to hire Ben Matlock for some reason .
Didn’t Hammer also turn his soul over to the Lord and become an ordained minister ?
I didn’t see what Miami signed Lewis for but here’s hoping they got him for the league minimum. That guy held several teams in the NBA hostage for years with that awful contract he signed in Orlando.
And I’m guessing Orlando’s top brass is going to just make whatever decisions they need to make regarding Dwight, then hand the team over to some poor, unsuspecting schmo as their head coach and say “Here ya’ go. Have fun with this.”
Like Herm Edwards always says, nothing good ever happens after midnight. Of course, I beg to differ as I tend bar for a living but AD was clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I don’t know what happened but the bottom line is he was arrested and will likely have a better, or at least more highly paid, legal staff to get him off on these charges.
Hammer did find God, becoming a pastor, and working with troubled youth and those imprisoned.
Now that’d be a sermon I’d have to check out.
Great read! Canseco is pure comic relief!
Without Canseco, MLB and the fans would still have their heads in the sand regarding steroids.
FIU… Jacksonville? Reboot your GPS, Rev.
Unfortunately if Hammer had rendered his version of ” Too Legit To Quit” to either Michael or Whitney , it just wouldn’t have worked .
Orlando’s brass hasn’t got any (balls) is they’ve foregone the chance to move Dwight , with the Nets now re-signing Brook Lopez to a a four year $60 plus million deal .
The only team that’s willing to take Dwight now and offer him a contract given their cap space are the Rockets . The Lakers can go after Howard but they haven’t the cap room and that’s even based on the cap space now being just over $58 million .
It’s now dependent upon the front office of the Magic and what they ultimately seek . Like I’ve repeatedly said , there’s no god damn intelligence to be found within the Magic organization . Have you not realized that ?
At what point should I have turned on the mute button on my tv set during the All Star Game ?
‘Last night was a god damn eyesore ! The AL team didn’t come to play just to collect a paycheck . And that to me is an affront to the fans and gutless piece of crap by the team and a slight to the game ! As good as the NL roster was said to be their opposition were like the French in WWII …………. they laid down raised the white flag and simply surrendered .
Laying Down the Law , Now Follow It ……….
Nobody’s Seen Troubles Like Me ………..
Peterson was there of his volition . Either he mans up or hides behind the bull#hit we come to expect athletes who simply can’t see their lives being exposed as a fraud .
I mean look at the BS now going on at PSU and the cover up concerning what went on . Tom Corbett is a joke as has been exhibited when he was the AG of for the state of Pennsylvania during the Hershey School scandal and what is now happening at the university where he sits as a member of the board of trustees .
They say no one circles the wagons like the Bills , well they’re wrong as evidenced now at the educational establishment .
A Rod and the Yankees front office have a yellow streak running down their spine , in light of their stance against Reggie Jackson . His criticism of the Yankees’ third baseman was valid and justified . The player’s apology over his admission of his use of steroids wasn’t an act of contrition but simply an image saving exercise . Anyone who couldn’t see through that bulls#it must be using pixie dust and running around with a bunch of leprechauns . ”
Only the Yankees’ front office and ESPN could use that exercise and run with it in such a way . What a bunch of a#s wipes !
Heading down to Haiti at end of this month for a few days . to get a feel of what’s going on down there . That place is still a mess . Hopefully things can change ………… but politically that place is so damn corrupt that everyone within the government is in need of a payoff just to get their a#s on the move .
By any chance, have you read Juiced?
I’d read it, but be afraid to, wondering how much was true and how much was actually real.
No wonder I couldn’t find Isiah last time I was in Jacksonville.
Besides, you know for us Gators, there’s really only one school’s location to pay attention to.
Hey, stay tuned. I’m having my second annual NFL futures contest and not only are you getting a special shout-out, I fully expect you to defend your crown.
I don’t know that it has to do with lack of balls when it comes to Orlando, just lack of sense.
I blame Dwight as well. I mean, why would he want to play in Houston rather than Orlando? Please explain.
And yes, that All-Star game was atrocious. So much for Verlander being untouchable, huh? Come contract time, he may want to rethink signing on with a National League team based on how opposing NL batters took him to school.
Peterson, A-Rod and Penn State, Al?
Can’t we honestly find something better to talk about?
All three stories can be best placed on the back-burner for now . Like every day politics , one way or another something will happen in order that those stories will be rekindled .
I don’t know that you follow horse racing that much but the story now coming out concerning Kentucky Derby and Preakness stakes’ winner , I’ll Have Another is somewhat disturbing . Apparently the trainer Doug O’Neill and owners ( J Paul Reddam & syndicate) of I’ll Have Another may well have ran the horse while injured and that was one of the reasons why the horse was “scratched ” and didn’t run in the Belmont Stakes (last leg of the Triple Crown) . The NTRA (Nat’l Thoroughbred Racing Assoc) have been quick to point out they take the utmost care in the monitoring of the equine stock in horse racing . That to me is the biggest joke on the planet ! . Much as in the same way the FDA monitors the pharmaceutical industry or USDA monitors the beef and poultry industry . Listeria , e-coli and salmonella poisoning , anyone ?
O’Neill the horse’s trainer has received his third suspension in five years for racing his horses either under duress /slight injury or having been found to have an illicit substance within their system . Now that’s a sport like cycling that really does need to be thoroughly cleaned up .
Lance Armstrong feels that the USADA (US Anti Doping Agency) has a vehement vendetta against him . No Lance , it’s just that with you having played the “sympathy card” so often , no one any longer believes you to be telling the truth .
Brees won’t be turning up for training camp with the Saints , not until he gets the contract extension he seeks . I can’t say that I blame him , as he is being mistreated by the franchise . The NFL , already a law unto itself shouldn’t allow their teams to ” franchise tag ” players multiple times .
Colts’ owner Jim Irsay says as a small market team his franchise cannot afford to not to blackout games given their predicament . Funny isn’t it what a decade plus of Peyton Manning can do for a franchise when it comes to success and making several truckloads of money ? LOL,LOL !! Get the feeling this season & [ ( preseason) ] …… the Colts faces an uphill struggle to remain relevant in the AFC much less the NFL as a whole ?
Michael Vick now has a clothing line ? I guess that beats having petting zoo filled with Rottweilers and Dobermann’s doesn’t it ? The NFC East to me this season looks to be something of a toss up but I still expect the Giants to prevail as the winners of the division .
How do you see the Bucs faring this season not only in the preseason but also the regular season ?
And which of their rookies do you believe will have a breakout season ?
Can the Rays recover from their inconsistency shown in the first half of the season ?
My take on the mess in Orlando concerning Dwight !
Laying Down The Law , Now Follow It
Here’s to the 90’s and to absent friends, cheers!
Left you a response with regard to the baseball piece I recently completed
Nobody’s Seen Troubles Like Me
“Hammer Time” has passed…and indeed with it some previously good vibes about those mentioned. That being said, “Too Legit To Quit” lives on as being a very cool memory. Guys were doing that “move” all over the place.
I don’t really follow horse racing all that much, Al, which is probably why I lose a shit-ton of money every time I go to the track. But if these owners and trainers are racing their horses when they’re not supposed to, aren’t they, in addition to hurting the horse, doing themselves and their million dollar investments a huge disservice?
The Bucs over/under is six wins, Al. I’d say they’ll probably right on or around that number. I expect the Falcons to run away with that division. There’s no reason they shouldn’t at this point.
And if I had a dollar for every Dwight piece that’s been put out by the major networks lately, let’s just say I wouldn’t have to work this weekend.
I’d say really the only good thing about Facebook is that it allows you to reconnect with those friends, if only for an instant, to let you know they’re okay, just with a lot less hair, a lot more kids, and a plenty more padding around the waistline.
Perhaps Hammer can thank me personally for trying to bring back the Too Legit To Quit move.
You’ll be happy to know, I didn’t do it for karaoke last night.
Responded to your comment on my piece on about the Nats
I’d actually like to do a piece about the times when Dwight used to drive the fans delirious with his play . But I no longer believe that it would sit well with anyone , not even Dwight’s parents ! They’ll end up disowning him . LOL,LOL,LOL !!!
Had a call from my brother in the UK asking me if I’ll be watching Saturday night’s fight between Amir Khan ( British boxer) and Danny Garcia for the WBC light welterweight title . I responded no ……… Khan is an acquaintance of his (my brother) as they run in the same circles with regard to the club scenes and the entertainment arena .
Let’s put it this way , I have about as much of an appetite for boxing as a Hasidic Jew would have for a slice of bacon or a large piece of pork . It is no longer relevant with me ! That sport has become a complete farce !
The oddsmakers in Vegas are actually prepared to offer a line on Bucs , given their recent inconsistencies during the regular season ? Jesus what’ll they think of next ?
How many members of Governor Rick Scott’s family does it take to assist him to screw in a light bulb ? Do you know the answer ? Well neither do the guys in Vegas but I’m sure that they can offer a spread and line on that particular premise !
Kobe is either little miffed or as of late his on and off lady friend actress Sanaa Lathan hasn’t been giving up the ” goodies ” If Kobe wants to be like Mike (Jordan) then he shouldn’t be trashing Jordan and the members of the original ” Dream Team” .
I hope Team USA basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski doesn’t have the entire team drinking from the same bottle of Hater-ade ! LOL,LOL,LOL !!!
Sir Charles denounces Kobe’s statement and wants a piece of the Lakers’ player .
I can tell you one thing for certain , Barkley could whip Kobe”s a#s with both hands tied behind his back ! LOL,LOL ,LOL !!! And that’s Barkley pre ,being 45 lbs heavier and now in his present shape (diet regimen and paid up endorser for Weight Watchers)
Have you seen his ad that as such parodies singer Jennifer Hudson ? Take a look ?
Charles in a wig and a dress ? Rodman must feel slighted don’t you think ?
My take on the NBA at present !
Barkley channels his inner Dennis Rodman while trying to be Jennifer Hudson . A grown man in a in dress , donning high heels and a wig . Ru Paul must be shuddering at the thought .
The night that Barley got “busted ” by the cops for speeding and his response was that he was following a prostitute because he was about to receive a specific sexual act made infamous (dependent upon your viewpoint) or famous by Monica Lewisnky . Do you feel that the cops should have let him off with just a warning ?
Jose Canseco is playing for the Worcester Tornadoes just up the road from me. I’ve been meaning to go see him play, but I was distracted by the bearded lady and the two-faced man.
Speaking of Canseco , any truth to the rumor that he’s coming out with a specific culinary machine that “juices” , purees` and makes other edible delicacies that is said to be good for your health ?
Juicin’ made easy , you think ?
The NFC South should be pretty interesting . At the same time I don’t hold out much hope with regard to the Bucs and their schedule unless they get off to a really fast start .
Dropped this with regard to MLB and the Jackson A Rod brouhaha . What else is now spineless with regard to the Yankees’ organization ?
Don’t Go There
Amazing how the mighty have fallen.
…And that year really was Hammertime for me.
The hammer dropped in the form of Magic Johnson’s HIV announcement.
1991 sucked hairy balls after that bombshell.
Funny thing is, he’s doing far better than all the guys in this piece now.
Amazing how the fallen became mighty again.
Guess Magic is the one who’s really 2 legit 2 quit. Too bad he didn’t have a cameo.
I went to MC Hammer bobblehead night in Oakland last year. I didn’t get a bobblehead since I rarely make it in to see the first inning, but thought it was pretty good looking.
Man, Oakland was hopping with celebrities back then, too bad the crime rate drove them all out of town…
Brees and the Saints have come their senses and reached an agreement on a 5 year deal .
Now will be do a Michael Vick and come out with his own clothing line ?
Like you, I subscribe to a number of different media outlets, Yardbarker, Bleacher Report, NBA.com, ESPN.com, Orlando Sentinel, etc.
I actually thought about compiling a list of headlines regarding Dwight and the incessant trade rumors that have leaked out for the last two years but a) who has the time for that nonsense and b) I’m not sure he’s worth it any more.
And I agree with you wholeheartedly about Kobe and Barkley. In fact, that’d be the most entertaining thing about watching that hypothetical old dream team-new dream team match-up. Watching Barkley put all those people on their ass.
And I’ve seen that Chuck commercial, Al, and actually have been meaning to write about it.
Just trying to get in touch with my feminine side.
I’m not entirely sure how much of that story is true, but I’m guessing… all of it?
Dude, Al, you are TOTALLY on to something. How has nobody thought of that sooner?
Fortunately nobody reads SportsChump.net but we need to get Canseco on the phone NOW and get him to endorse some blender-like product and call it The Juicer.
That’d make millions, I tell ya’.
Here are your odds to win the NFC South, Al.
ATLANTA FALCONS +105
CAROLINA PANTHERS +550
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS +105
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS +1200
It looks to me like Vegas likes the Bucs as little as you do.
Ya know what else, Bleed?
Magic is one of those announcers that, just because of his inherent knowledge and talent for the game, you just feel like you get smarter listening to.
Sure, Wilbon, Barry and Broussard will speak their piece, then Magic will come out and say something neither of those other three had even thought about.
Because they’re not Magic.
There ya’ go, Chap.
I agree with you on being fashionably late to sporting events but for a Hammer bobblehead, I may just have to show up on time.
That’s why I didn’t raise too much of a stink about the Brees deal, or lack thereof.
I knew they’d get something done.
And yea, I heard Michael Vick’s going into the wifebeater business. That one’s just TOO loaded so I’m going to leave it alone.
With regard to Strasburg, my question what has got GM Mike Rizzo running scared ?
The pitcher has already had “Tommy John surgery” on his pitching elbow . So do you really believe he won’t have another injury over the course of his career ? If not now with the Nationals then when ? Because the organization hasn’t shown the pedigree yet to show they have what it takes …………… no track record at all . But now we’re meant to buy into this team because of some eighty odd games ? Come on give me a break !
Vick can possibly take hints from J-Lo and Kim K in terms of their apparel lines . Can’t wait to see what might happen should PETA find out that some that line isn’t made from from faux fur . Alligator skinned shoes come courtesy of the Vick line . Will have in bad taste a T-shirt known as Rottweiler Willy ?
Just a minor correction for all you geography geniuses out there. FIU is in Miami, not Jacksonville.
Yeah I probably should’ve gotten one, but on giveaway days the people line up two hours before the game…
It’s not about the injury with Strasburg, Al. It’s about the extent of the injury.
And I’ll be interested in seeing how that Vick line does.
Two things, Snake.
First off, yes, I misspoke, or originally mis-wrote (kind of like how Roger Clemens mis-remembered) that FIU was in Jacksonville, confusing it with FAU which is in Jacksonville, I do believe.
Second, and probably more importantly, a big name like Isiah Thomas couldn’t a) win with that program and b) put them on the map enough for most everyone, including myself, to realize without a shadow of a doubt, that FIU, is in fact, in Miami.
Funny thing is… I used to have an Orlando Magic Grant Hill bobblehead.
Thing wasn’t true to life though. It didn’t have a cast.
The Nats’ front office are being way too careful with regard to Strasburg . Either they want to win or they don’ t . Shutting the pitcher down , what perception do you think that creates for that organization’s fans ? Tommy John surgery and a player still remains susceptible to another injury no matter what safeguards are taken . Rizzo should realize that the player isn’t a Picasso or a Rodan .
And by the looks of things the Nats are now feeling the pressure as they begin to falter somewhat .
If the Magic can’t seven settle on finding a successor to SVG then what makes anyone think that they’ll find a likely suitor for Dwight Howard . The Rockets can muster all the pieces they want but it is all dependent upon GM Rob Hennigan and Alex Martins as to the direction that the Magic will take . And as of now those idiots have driven themselves off a god-damn cliff . Hope those mutha-###@ers crash-and-burn !
I have to be honest, Al, I haven’t kept up with the local Washington media, or the sentiments of most Nationals fans.
I can tell you that if I were a Nats fan, I’d want to see Strasburg out there, but I’d also understand and trust that the organization would be doing everything possible to ensure his health and a long, prosperous career.
Whether that’s the case or not, I don’t know.
And let us just hope that Hennigan is the next Presti. For if not, that only means many more years of mediocrity in Central Florida.
Ah yes good old MC Hammer. Always loved the parody that In Livin Color did on him. Those were the days!
I don’t know if I recall that Living Colour skit. I may have to look it up.
haha well done MC hammer for bringing humour into the modern game, still I think there is no place for it but funny it is!!!
Modern game, Jerr?
Did you just slip into your time machine?
I’m assuming it’s a Dolorean,right?