I’ve never birthed a child.
Let me rephrase.
I’ve never borne a child, or fathered a child, or whatever it is guys do when they’re in love or having unprotected sex with a perfect stranger.
According to most reports, Timothy Richard Tebow has done none of those things either. Yet he’s still the most popular football player in America today, perhaps for that very reason.
Regardless, somehow, some way, this picture of Tim Tebow holding someone’s newborn child surfaced on the internet, with most reports poking fun that the former Heisman Trophy winner doesn’t know how to properly hold a baby, despite the fact that he’s reportedly circumcised several on his various missions to the Philippines.
Either way, what we’re left with is a picture of Tebow holding what appears to be the only human being on the planet unhappy to be in his presence. The nerve of that baby! What’s the kid thinking?
What I present you with this time around, dearest readers, is another healthy caption contest. Come up with the most creative caption to this week’s photo and receive one limited edition, Tim Tebow autographed foreskin and an unopened box of Pampers.
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WAAA..he’s the back up..WAAA
That baby’s probably not the only one crying that Tebow’s the back-up either, at least until Sanchez’ first game with three picks.
Awwww man! When you said I was going to get touched by a virgin this is NOT what I had in mind!!
That baby is crying because somebody told him bad throwing motions are contagious.
Very nice one, J.
You mean kind of like how Susan was touched by a virgin on your wedding night?
Okay here’s my go at it, before anyone steals my thunder….
Mark Sanchez is apparently dissatisfied with the open competition at quarterback.
I’m honestly surprised I’m the first person to come up with a Sanchez blast.
I know more must be coming.
Or how about, seen here, Tim Tebow rescues baby from scary foot fetish incident in Rex Ryan’s office.
C’mon, people. Stay with me here.
“Mom, you said Jesus was going to hold me…”
Baby: “I FUCKING HATE THE WILDCAT!”
CR… C’mon, man. Isn’t that the next best thing?
And Dub… Just wondering if you answered my Tebow MVP prop question over on your site. I’ll swing by to take a look.
WAAA, I don’t want to be a christian or a 25 year old virgin, that’s not a living life, WAAAA!
Noooo, He’s not really playing for the Jets, Nooo!!!!! WAAA!!!
Could you imagine any player being a worse fit on the Oakland Raiders than Tim Tebow?
If I were an NFL GM, I’d be torn about whether to have Tebow on my team.
He sells tickets, jerseys and is apparently an incredible locker room presence.
On the flip side, he’s a distraction and, according to most of his critics, can’t really throw a football all that well.
I didn’t even pull the cord! How do you turn it off???
Oh, Dwin, that’s a good one.
With any luck, that foreskin will be all yours.
Try to contain your joy.
Chris… BTW… Here’s your first little leaguer busted for PHD’s…
Please…Tim, can you spell shower first?
I mean, who among us hasn’t tipped the scale at three plus in middle school?
Are you suggesting that all Florida grads are dirty?
I’d be offended if you didn’t know differently.
Hope you “Baby Jesus” tagged this … the hits on your site come Christmas time will be golden 🙂
And on the eleventh day as the firmament looked upon itself an angel of the Lord asked why should Tebow still remain a virgin when it was stated go forth and multiply ?
Quite biblical of you, Al, but in a Tim Tebow-related post, I guess I should expect nothing less.
If Timmy starts sowing his seed like Shawn Kemp, then heaven help us all.
Speaking of which , if Chad Johnson signs with Vivid Entertainment and starts to do p#rn , will you partake of his latest endeavor ? That was part of his spiel that in essence got him kicked off the Dolphins . Well, that and his affinity for the “Mary Jane” . But then again, the Dolphins had to have known what they were letting themselves in for . That’s like inviting Bree Olson into your home and not expect to start talking about sex and her numerous partners, including Charlie Sheen .
Johnson can’t be anything else than what we have all seen in front of our every eyes over the last six or seven years .
I’d be frightened by Tebow if I was that kid as well.
I don’t think Timmy does that sort of thing. He’s a good boy, you know that.
So what’s Johnson doing now? Perhaps hanging out with Timmy would do him some good, no?
Frightened by Timmy, Jed?
I thought the only people frightened by Timmy were the linebackers he was running over.
And just like that, any political aspirations Timmy might have had went up in Pampers.
We both know Timmy will be president some day.