Wheel…. of… Dunces!!!

Here at SportsChump, we like to play a game called Wheel of Dunces: Commissioners’ Edition.  With the bone-headed moves our sports commissioners bless us with on a regular basis, we could actually play this game more often but who has the time to micro-manage the incessant blathering of tyrannical multi-millionaires.  Some of us have real jobs.  Their antics, however, would make for an interesting reality show.  We could call it The Real Commissioners of Beverly Hills.

This week, the wheel of Dunce-ness falls squarely on the head of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, which must take some skill considering our most recent winner, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, is currently presiding over a sport which has no season.

The whole episode we NFL fans have come to know as Bounty-Gate was bungled so poorly by Commissioner Goodell that by the time it was all said and done, a former NFL commissioner, Paul Tagliabue, had to come in and do Goodell’s job for him.  Goodell’s an attorney by trade, yet his mishandling of the events in New Orleans made it appear as if no legal brief had ever come across his desk.

Can you imagine that happening at your job?  If your boss was forced to bring in your predecessor due to your ineptitude, wouldn’t your employer think he’d have no need for you in the first place or at a minimum think you were a bad hire?  Wouldn’t they be talking about you behind your back, discussing your absolute worthlessness as a human being?

Last summer, it became public knowledge that the New Orleans Saints’ coaching staff had placed bounties, otherwise known as incentives, for their players to intentionally injure opponents.  Based on Goodell’s findings, players and coaches were suspended, the franchise was fined and their entire 2012 season was lost.  It was the stiffest fine in NFL history.

In the wake of the suspensions, the Saints started 0-5.  Head coach Sean Payton was not allowed anywhere near his team… until Roger Goodell found it in his heart mid-season to allow him to see Drew Brees break Johnny Unitas’ record for most consecutive games with a passing touchdown.  That was the first indication that perhaps Payton had unfairly become the fall guy for the entire scandal.  So much for the stiff arm and consistency of Roger Goodell’s authority.

According to Brees’ recent comments, Goodell has little credibility.  The bitter Brees, player representative and all-around nice guy, blasted Goodell and the league.

“What I would like to see is a level of accountability on the part of the NFL and Commissioner Goodell in regards to [the] mishandling of this entire situation.  We as players hold ourselves and are held to a very strict code of conduct both on and off the field. We have to be accountable to that, as it should be, and I feel like they should be held to the same standards.

“If someone would just come out in the league office and admit, ‘You know what? We could have handled this situation better,’ it would go such a long way with both players and fans. People would really come around to realize what this thing was all about because right now the league office and Commissioner Goodell have very little to no credibility with us as players.” 

Of course, were Brees an NBA player, David Stern would probably have had him executed for saying such a thing.

It’s safe to say that Goodell overreacted considering the penalties he assessed came before all the evidence had even come to light.  He’s presiding over a league that is at an all-time high in terms of popularity yet faces a tenuous future considering the long line of impending law suits and increasing amount of injuries in the game.  Plans to eliminate kick-offs to increase player safety have met with mixed response.  By the end of Goodell’s reign, the game will look a lot different than it did when he first took office.  We can only hope that’s for the better.

Until we spin the Wheel again, Goodell remains our Dunce for the month but rest assured, it won’t be long until someone knocks him from his perch.  Let’s just hope he hasn’t destroyed the game we love before that happens.

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57 Replies to “Wheel…. of… Dunces!!!”

  1. Pingback: Wheel... Of... Dunces - BallHyped Blog Network, NFL | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  2. OK, I concede that Goodell is your dunce of the month, but Stern has to be the biggest douchebag commissioner of the last 25 years. He may have been responsible for making the NBA highly profitable, but his blind eye towards the worst officiating in pro sports negates all he’s done on the business side of the league.

  3. I’m sure you’ve seen the movie “A Few Good Men”… The verdict at the end exonerated the two subordinate Marines of all charges except one since they were proven to have been ordered to do what they did. They were guilty of conduct unbecoming of a Marine and drummed out of the corp.

    If the league has the “goods” on the Saints coaching staff, as both the current and immediately past Commissioners have stated, then there should not have been any backtracking on the players’ penalties. The problem I see is Goodell had varying degrees of penalties for the players. They should have been uniformily the same since they were all guilty of doing what they had been told to do by their coaches and not being man enough to balk (and yeah I know we’re talking about the fraternity of men as well as these players making damned good money for playing a game. If they did the right thing and called their superiors out for what they did the players would risk their reputations and that nice paycheck).

    Concerning any further changes to the game… It’s turning into a convoluted mess as it stands right now. In the last couple of weeks I’ve seen at least 4 perfectly legal hits between WRs and DBs that were flagged for helmet to helmet when that wasn’t the case at all and I’m just watching about 10% of the games being played. This one change is already out of hand. Take away the kick-off? That is total BS for several reasons…

  4. If we could go back in time, maybe we could get Herr Stern as the only Jew to be tried at the Nuremberg Trials. His henchmen (NBA referees) killed more game outcomes than I have hairs on my head.

  5. I have an almost full head of hair, just like you. I just choose to keep it razor short. Its an optical illusion.

  6. The game should be renamed in honor of the world class dunce Gary Bettman. This guy has possibly destroyed the NHL.

  7. Aer…

    The NHL could ill afford another work stoppage.

    Two seasons cancelled in ten years? Really?

    I mean, are these people ever going to play again?

    I don’t see why the players just don’t start up their own league.

  8. Come on over. I won’t shave my dome for a few days. Rub my head and you’ll get the same feeling like rubbing sand paper. I’ll provide the Crown Royal and maple syrup, unless you’d rather do 1800 tequila shooters.

  9. Snake…

    You forgot about Bettman, the league and the whole damn sport.

    There’s a reason for that.

    They’re not playing the games. Say what you want about Stern but Bettman is arguably the worst commissioner of any sport ever.

  10. I’m still not sure that I can consider Bettman to be a sports commissioner since by my definition, hockey isn’t a sport. That goes for NASCAR, luge, track & field and curling too. By my definition, if it isn’t played with a ball, then its not a sport.

  11. You have to wonder if this is the beginning of the end for Kommissar Goodell. I’ve seen other guys in management go through pretty much this sort of situation, meaning their own ham-handedness forced their bosses to pinch-hit for them. Once they bring in the hired gun to fix the mess, the manager usually gets re-assigned of canned outright.

  12. I noticed that your Wheel of Dunces does not include anyone from NASCAR. If you want to talk inconsistency in sports, NASCAR could fill an entire sports talk show for at least a month, probably more. Here’s an example of their most recent inconsistency.

    Back in November 2011, Kyle Busch took offense to Ron Hornaday’s actions during the Truck Series race in Texas. Busch finally snapped and deliberately wrecked Hornaday under caution, ending Hornaday’s shot at the championship. For his actions, Kyle Busch was suspended from both the Nationwide Series and Cup Series races that weekend.

    Fast forward to November 2012. It is the next to the last Cup series of the season. Jeff Gordon is unhappy with the manner in which Clint Bowyer is racing him. After a spin into the wall, Jeffie decides to exact his revenge on Clint. NASCAR officials see that Jeff is waiting for Clint to come around and the #24 is black-flagged. Jeff ignores the black flag (a big no-no in NASCAR), and deliberately sends Bowyer into the wall ending Clint’s championship hopes. Jeffie WAS NOT suspended; instead, he was fined and placed on probation until December 31- a probation that was essentially meaningless since there was only one race left in the season.

  13. Dub…

    He’s been commissioner now for six years but for some reason, it seems shorter than that.

    Maybe that’s because he still seems wet behind the ears when it comes to successfully running his league.

    I think he’d have to do a lot worse than just fuck up Bounty-Gate to be impeached but I also wouldn’t be surprised if the guy keeps a low profile til Super Bowl time.

  14. If the NHL replaced the puck with a 16# shot, it would slow down the game so that it would be easier to watch on TV. Or, bring back the “glow puck.”

  15. Beag…

    You know I get my NASCAR news from you, Han and the rest of the lugnuts. I wasn’t sure whether there was a problem with the commissioner but at least he’s presiding over a sport that is still growing in popularity.

  16. Snake…

    Personally, I could give a flying fuck whether there’s a hockey season or not. I don’t watch the sport, pretty much ever.

    But I do feel sorry for the ardent hockey fans that don’t have anything to do now but drink beer and beat the shit out of each other.

  17. The NHL is and will remain a ###king joke ! Three months in, and those morons would have trouble finding their own a#sholes with the aid of a flashlight were they in a darkened room .

    Reruns of Slap Shot the movie Miracle would be preferable than having hockey back for real . Reason why ,. because neither side (NHL hierarchy or NHLPA [union]) is intelligent enough to make a long term commitment for the betterment of the game . Look at the facts , four stoppages inside of two decades . Not even the UAW or Teamsters’ Union were that ###king dumb . were they ?

    Goodell is and remains a pompous and bombastic #ss ! His IQ might be slightly lower than Palin and Paris Hilton’s combined .

    Stern , $25 million a year and he still doesn’t fully comprehend the fact that teams are hemorrhaging money in the NBA . Yet his ##s was felt compelled to ask the NBPA to make concessions while the teams still chose to ignore the $58 million “soft salary cap ” . So the next time I hear some idiot trying to suggest that the NBA remains a healthy financial concern , I will simply chuckle at their dumb naivete and stupidity !

    The Kings are screwing over the city of Sacramento but their fans are too dumb to actually realize that fact. Or could it be that they simply don’t give a $#it ?

    Dear ol’ Bud . he’s now looking to piggy-back on the shoulders of the ISF (Int’l Softball Federation) to get baseball reinstated for the Summer Olympics . At the earliest , the game could only be reinstated for 2020 , because the IOC Executive Committee would have to take a vote and make a decision upon which sports they are liable to drop .

  18. If the Jets season were to be made into a tv film drama , who would you have in the pivotal starring roles ? State your reasons why also . LOL ,LOL,LOL !!!

    Tophatal ……

  19. Al…

    I know I’m about to have my man/sports fan card taken away, or be put in time out or something, but I am so little of a hockey fan that I haven’t even sat through SlapShot or Miracle in their entirety. I haven’t seen the Mighty Ducks either. Don’t tell Dub. He’s a big Emilio Estevez fan.

  20. That’s actually a great question, Al.

    Obviously Tim Tebow would have to play himself. After all, who else could play the baby Jesus. He’d be the biggest box office draw of them all.

    I’d have to go with either DiCaprio or maybe Matt Damon as Mark Sanchez and someone portly, older and tall to play Ryan.

    Damn, I’m stumped or perhaps I just can’t think of an actor that would want to have to put on that much weight for the role.

  21. Slap Shot! One of the greatest sports movies ever. Best line about the Hansen brothers, “They brought their fuckin toys.”

  22. ” I wasn’t sure whether there was a problem with the commissioner”

    That HAS to be the quote of the century!(Thanks for the laugh. It took my mind off the tree branch that looks to be headed toward my window if the wind hits it right.) Do you not keep up with our incessant rantings about phantom debris cautions, inconsistent application of rules, and a rule book whose existence is questioned on a regular basis? Not to mention the OUTRIGHT FAVORITISM shown to one particular driver who shall remain Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

  23. Great read bro! Dictator Goodell is certainly feeling heat, and it’s well deserved!

    Funny stuff he beats out Bettman! LOL!

  24. Snake…

    Scalabrine has a highlight reel? Can’t be much longer than 30 seconds, right?

    I saw where he’s going color now. Can’t miss that red dome from a mile away.

  25. I do, Beag, but I’m not so sure I could pick that guy out of a lineup, whereas I’m pretty sure I could recognize Dale Jr. if I saw him walking down the street.

  26. E Allen…

    Here’s how I came up with the idea for the wheel.

    I was playing poker at the Hard Rock the evening before. For people who had been in the poker room for six hours (yes, six hours), they were given a spin of this random prize wheel at the end of that sixth hour. Prizes ranged from free tourney entries to straight cash, homey.

    I kinda combined that with Drew Brees’ recent comments, Goodell’s mistakes, having useless employees at work and voila. The Wheel of Dunces was born.

  27. Chris, Brian Scalabrine is filling in for my man Tommy Heineken, who doesn’t do a lot of road trips anymore due to age and health issues. As a color commentator, he sucks worse that he did as a player. He’s even worse than Reggie Miller. Donny Marshall filled in last season and he was 100% better than Scal.

  28. Chris

    In an interview today Tebow says he’s unhappy that he won’t be starting this Sunday for the Jets against the Chargers . Timmy , should simply shut the f##k up , once and for all ! He was , brought as a sales gimmick and not much more than that .

    As to hockey , their whole mantra is in the sh@ts to begin with . They’re so f$$king dumb ,that even when a public statement is made by an official you simply have to laugh .

    NHL Deputy commissioner , Bill Daly, has now issued a statement saying ” the point of no return when they will have to consider abandoning the season altogether , will be January ” . Fu@$ that sh#t , we’re 2/3 of the way through the month of December and his dumb a#s comes out with a statement of that stupidity ?

    The NHL has been losing $200 million a month in revenues , so that’s all you need to know . What a bunch of a$$ wipes !

    Seeing these two sides (NHL & NHLPA [players’ union]) negotiate , is akin to Bazza and Boehner negotiating the f##king precipice the country is already over when it comes to this ” fiscal crisis ” . We’re already being fu#ked in the a## , so why not take wholeheartedly take more of that medicine and wash it down with even more of the Dem’s and Republican’s utter bulls#it !

    Selig is now piggy-backing on the back of softball to get baseball reinstated at the Olympics . How low wont’ Bud Selig stoop ? He’s the primary reason the sport was kicked out of the Summer Games to begin with , because of his damn intransigence when it came to adopting WADA’s protocols concerning testing for banned substances .

    So angered by his actions that even the game’s international governing body (IBAF) didn’t want anything to do with MLB , and that was even after the World Baseball Classic came into being.

    Tophatal ……….

  29. But he’s done worse than simply mishandle bounty-gate. The dirty little secret is that the NFL is still getting dragged through several lawsuits, and the fact that bounty-gate revealed the NFL was less than forthright with its handling of other issues relevant to those lawsuits means the NFL exposure to liability just went up, and when they need a “fall guy,” Goodell is going to look pretty handy.

  30. Al Pacino but he’s way too small , height wise . Did you catch his portrayal in Any Given Sunday ? Another actor might James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano) ?

    We could still have Jamie Lyn Sigler and Eva Longoria play themselves , two chicks who dug Sanchez , ’til he came up firing blanks not just on the field, but also off it .

    If you’ve got a business (NHL) that’s losing $ 200 million a month in revenues , whose a@s are you going to hold accountable ?

    Hockey’s fans can wax on lyrically all they want but they just can’t face fact the damn sport is dead in the water . Now you have their Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly , proclaiming they can wait until January , before shuttering the season completely. And this is the bull#hit they want as a fourth main team and spectator sport ? There’s no goddamn intelligence to be found within the NHL hierarchy or with the union .

    Women’s softball is actually more popular , globally, as a participation sport than baseball . Perhaps that’s the reason why Selig is piggy-backing on ISF’s a$s to get baseball reinstated for the Summer Olympics . So the WBC (World Baseball Classic) which elicits about as much interest here domestically , in terms of tv ratings and attendance is not enough , with all of the money that MLB and IFAB have thrown at it ?

    I know you chimed in with a comment on the piece but not with regard to Selig’s attempt with the IOC .


    They haven’t got a pot to pi$s in , much less a window to throw it out of ….. ideas of grandeur , baseball style .

    Tophatal ……………

  31. Well deserved Dunce of the month and I’ve lost much respect for Goodell over the past two years. Still I tend to believe the Tagliabue move and his decision was part of a well executed plan and that the former Commish’s decision was not an independent one.

    And for God’s sake stop changing the game. Work with the NFLPA and have players sign an agreement that football is an inherently dangerous game and they cannot sue the league for liability in the future.

  32. Hey Chris, we’re back man. Been gone a while due to some maintenance issues. Anyway, you hit it right on the head. Commissioners have a tough job, but we can’t deny the fact that Roger Goodell and Bud Selig have been the top two worst these past couple of years. Fans are ready to have their heads on a platter.

  33. Al…

    Why wouldn’t Tebow be unhappy in New York? This whole year has been a sideshow up there.

    The question is, when the Jets cut him, and they will cut him, which team will take a chance on him and will they also use him as a sideshow or will be actually be able to play quarterback?

    With regards to the NHL, I’m paying as little attention to the negotiations between players and owners as I would to the season if there were one.

  34. Al…

    If Eva Longoria’s in that movie, does that mean Tony Parker gets a cameo? He can play Darelle Revis or something.

    Woman’s softball back in the Olympics? If Jennie Fitch comes out of retirement, count me in to watch.

    And yes, I do think the Rays will field a competitive team this season. Don’t forget, even without Shields, that lineup still goes five deep.

  35. TP is laying the pipe to chics with a ” tramp stamp” just above the their @ss .

    The loss Shields and Davis will hurt the Rays and now with the loss of Upton and Pena . Where will the offense be coming from on the team as it now stands , never mind the pitching you’re of the belief , still has real depth ?

    Have you really taken a look at the make up of the roster and what might be their projected starting lineup for 2013 ?

    The Rays won’t be winning more than 75 games at best , this upcoming season , not with the current roster in place , far too many holes on the team still remains that haven’t been addressed.

    Check back out the piece I did Selig and joint attempt for the reinstatement of baseball for the 2020 Olympics . I’ve given some detailed info on the Rays ! You only glanced over it , it as such .

    They haven’t got a pot to piss in , much less a window to throw it out of ….. ideas of grandeur , baseball style .

    Watching those a$$holes in the NHL deliberate their goddamn mess is almost as comical as Boehner and Obama talk about what they’d like to do , concerning the “fiscal cliff “ . Both are so goddamn clueless that it doesn’t bear thinking about !

    And as far as Goodell is concerned , were he in prison , right about “now a train” would be on his a$$ , as he’d be a ” prison $$tch . All aboard that wants to ride an a#$ , 10″ or more would be preferable in order to feel real pleasure .

    Tophatal ……………

  36. Rex Ryan now suggests that it might well have been a mistake to have traded for Tebow . Ya’ think ?

    Woody Johnson’s family has a multi-billion dollar company that bears their name , Johnson & Johnson Inc , and it is extremely profitable . They own the Jet, s but yet that franchise, is being ran as if it’s a late night convenience store with over priced stale goods on sale and it has been the apathetic and gullible Jets’ fans that have been buying into the Jets’ bull$hit ! As for the idiots , who were vehemently critical of Namath , when he called out both Tebow and Sanchez , how ’bout those guys eating some crow or better yet , go seek life, elsewhere !

    Tophatal ……..

  37. Al…

    Hitting will still be an issue but last year the Rays rotation ran about six or seven pitchers deep. They’ll have enough young talent to carry them through. The question is whether they’ll get any run support.

    The Rays will definitely be an over .500 team. I’ll even place a friendly wager on that.

    Ryan said that about Tebow? How’s that for locker room leadership? Nothing like having the coach tell one of the players on their roster they have no need for him.

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