I’ve been to plenty of weddings in my day.
I’ve bartended ‘em, been the best man at one and yes, even cursed out the brother of the groom at another, but that’s a story for another time.
Even though weddings are intended to be a celebration of love (until they inevitably end in divorce) I generally don’t like going to them. While the free food and open bar tend to ease the pain, unmarried men such as I tremble the moment the deejay announces that stupid, catch-the-garter thing, which is invariably followed by an uncomfortable silence when the garter hits the floor and every liquored-up, bachelor in the room sprints for the doorway.
But even that awkwardness doesn’t hold a candle to one NBA star’s wedding photo, recently uncovered by Sports Pickle.
Golden State Warriors two-guard and shooting sensation, Stephen Curry, is in love and good for him. Far be it from me to talk a multi-millionaire, professional athlete out of marriage at the ripe, young age of 24. To each his own.
However, one of Stephen’s groomsmen probably should have warned him against posing for this photo for fear of any future repercussions, aka caption contests.
That’s right, readers. This week, we celebrate love, exciting and new. The reader who can come up with the most creative caption below will win one garter (slightly used), a handful of rice (not boiled) and a lifetime of hypothetical, marital bliss.
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I’m so happy, I just peed my pants.
Are you calling Stephen a bed-wetter, Snake?
Geez, all I suggested was that the kid shouldn’t have gotten married so young and you’re saying he’s got bladder problems?
Seriously, he’s my soul mate. It’s not about the money.
She’s got Stephen wrapped around her finger, soon she’ll have him under her thumb.
It never is, is it, Yaz?
We want pre-nupt, we want pre-nupt, yea!
Aer…
Makes it sound like your typical marriage anywhere around the globe.
BRIDE: “Someone want to find Urkel his glasses?”
He thinks I signed the pre-nup.
“Do you Steph Curry take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife , shoot her up with 40% of your free throws and thereafter make her happy ? Also , will you love , honor and obey , answering all of her whims , even when she becomes a cantankerous bi#ch ” ? …. I do ” ! Steph Curry
I definitely wouldn’t ! I’ve learned my lesson through one marriage and have no wish to go through it all , again ! LOL,LOL,LOL !!!
Sixteen consecutive wins and counting . Is there anyone within the East bold enough to derail the Heat’s ambitions ? Knicks ? Hell , no ! They’re simply not good enough by any stretch of the imagination . Can’t play defense and they never will learn how to !
Tophatal ……………..
Not a bedwetter, just excited to be married to this babe. Maybe his knees are together to hide that trouser snake. I do know something about snakes.
Maybe Steph Curry should have watched this horse race before he got married. Maybe we all should have watched it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9q7Nm9m_co
lol…Game over..Alex wins.
I just married Black Chucky.
New game….
How long before she tops two bills?
I’ll give 24 months as the over/under… and I’ll bet the under.
Irish…
I think we have Urkel to blame for the fake lens craze that’s taking over the NBA. Russell Westbrook has the entire Urkel limited edition on DVD at home for fashion tips.
And I’m not sure what to make of those shoes and dark socks. Sure hope he’s not wearing suspenders under that vest.
“If you think think that horn-dog is getting in my pants with that cheap ass pre-nup you’re crazy.”…….Mrs Stephen Curry.
Unc…
Not sure if you remember this but when Kobe Bryant was caught cheating on his wife by raping… er, inviting that concierge up to his Eagle, Colorado hotel room, he ended up having to buy her a seven-plus-karat diamond ring to kiss and make up.
Don’t tell that to my old Aunt Kate and for the sake of your children’s college fund, please refrain from any such extra-curriculars.
Al…
I thought for one brief second that the Orlando Magic were going to bring that Miami Heat winning streak to an end. Would’ve been a great story for a team that sucks, but plays hard under first year coach Jacque Vaughn.
I could go on and on about how the Magic got screwed with some bad calls down the stretch but what good would that do?
Snake…
I’m officially putting you in time out. That’s simply too much time talking about Steph Curry’s junk.
You must still be giddy about that Celtics come-from-behind win last night.
He he, get it? Come from behind? I figured that went well with all the Steph pecker talk.
Okay, now I’m in time out too.
Coming from behind? You must be referring to Pau Gasol’s sex life.
By the way, Snake, I don’t think I’d seen that horse race video before and if I had, I’d forgotten about it.
Friggin’ hysterical.
Bleed…
Game over, Alex wins?
Does anyone else get that?
Little help?
Dub…
Black Chucky. I like it.
Trick is… which one of them said that?
OK. Enough of Curry’s wife. How about a blog on Blake Griffin’s girlfriend, Sabrina Maserati? I would drive that until the gas tank ran dry.
Han…
I’d say a much more appropriate bet would be taking the under on how soon she stars on Real Housewives of Golden State, assuming that team doesn’t end up relocating. Knowing David Stern, anything is possible.
Bets..
Funny.
I was watching the Thunder-Knicks game as I was reading your ‘horn dog’ comment.
The cameras panned around the Garden and suddenly showed Woody Allen then David Duchovny.
I found that weird yet perfectly appropriate.
Snake…
Just ’cause Pau is Spanish and wears a scarf doesn’t make him gay.
I speak Spanish and wear a scarf and find Sabrina Maserari…. whoa!
Chris
There’s more chance of you bring the Miami Heat’s 16 game win streak to an end , rather than the Orlando Magic .
The Magic are getting screwed ? Ah well , payback is a bi#ch , considering how much the organization has screwed the fans in recent years , with their ambiguity and bull#hit about wanting to be and remain competitive !
Tophatal …………….
Meant your commenter Alex cracked me up.
Al…
I’m interested in seeing what the Orlando Magic do over the next two to three seasons to remain competitive in this league.
Did you happen to catch Penny, Shaq and D Scott last night on Inside the NBA? Perhaps bringing them back would be a good start.
Bleed…
Please don’t feed the man’s ego. It’s already bad enough he thinks he knows more about baseball than anyone else.
Does this clown seriously think he’s taking me bowling on our honeymoon???
Veeeeery nice, Rav.
I’ve been waiting for someone to comment on those shoes.
Chris
You know what the Magic can do over the next three seasons , make a petition to Stern , to be moved to the D League , because based on their play , that is where they belong .
Shawne Merriman is retiring ? ‘roid up ! LOL,LOL,LOL !!!
Didn’t Shaq say he wouldn’t mind owning an NBA franchise ? Why not approaching Rich de Vos , by making him an offer , he can’t refuse ? I mean , now that Dr Diesel has a Ph.D in Childhood education , I am sure he’ll be able to get his point across .
The World Baseball Classic ? Damn ! And Selig wants a joint effort to get women’s softball and IBAF baseball back in the Summer Olympics ?
Since its’ inception , Team USA has done $$ck all in the competition .
Age, is simply, nothing but a number , yet , when it catches up with you , it does make one look old
Tophatal ………….
Al…
I actually think Shaq takes pride in the fact that he was a member of the Orlando Magic. It might not be a bad idea for DeVos to let him in on that investment.
Chris
De Vos is rarely seen in public and his son in law is no longer involved with the franchise . Attendance is now at an all-time low ! Makes you wonder what now has to happen in order for the city of Orlando to recoup their investment in the building of the Amway Center . Buddy Dyer was a damn putz for “pumping public” funds into a white elephant . But nowadays it simply sums up the lame a$s attitude of the politicians within Central Florida to begin with !
I have no implicit faith in the front office of the Magic , much less the playing or coaching staff !
Age, is simply, nothing but a number , yet , when it catches up with you , it does make one look old
So Team USA continues to embarrass itself in the lame a$$ed World Baseball Classic . No surprise there ! Why the ##ck is Torre managing this team ?
Losing 5-2 to Mexico ?
So Florida loses a close game to Kentucky ? They had that one in the bag , but as usual Donovan tends to play it way too safe , when it’s not needed .
Left you a response to my most recent piece and the sports’ franchises within New York tri state area namely those who have alignment with the Big Apple .
B-Hop and Tavoris Cloud are meeting tonight for the IBF light heavyweight title . Cloud is unbeaten is his 24 fights with 19 KO’s .
Tophatal ………………..
B Hop again becomes the oldest fighter to win a world title by winning a unanimous decision over Tavoris Cloud (24-1 ,19 KO’s) in his victory for the IBF light heavyweight title .
Canada and Mexico brawl in the World Baseball Classic ? Rick Renteria and his explanation ………. he and the team weren’t fully aware that run differential plays a part as a deciding factor in who makes out of Group play . What ? No wonder this tournament is such a fu##ing joke !
Tophatal ………………..
Al…
When Orlando originally made that push for a new arena, the team was still relevant. Not so much anymore although they do play hard for Vaughn.
The fans did their part. Now it’s time for the organization to do theirs but that team is no overnight fix. It’s going to take two to three years for them to be competitive again.
My concerns about Florida going into the tournament are whether they’re mentally tough enough to close out games. That happened with Louisville in last year’s tourney. You’d think they’d have learned their lesson by now. It’s March and they can’t take anyone lightly.
Baseball classic, Al? I’ll start watching when the US fields a team with guys that can play, major leaguers. Can someone please get Jerry Colangelo on the phone?
Oh, and your Bernard Hopkins has inspired another boxing piece from me. Please stay tuned.
There are always more than a few “unusual” images taken by wedding photographers. I tend to think this one is great…though I probably won’t have made it public.
Caption: “Death do us part…hee hee”
Chris
Print journalists in the Central Florida , are either doing or do need to stop doing crack or whatever it is they’re doing . The Orlando Sentinel’s Mike Bianchi describes and says ” Dwight Howard is the greatest player in the Magic franchise’s history > ” ? Oh , so Lil, Penny and Shaq were absolute dog #hit as far as he was concerned ? Bianchi is an a#shole !
I watched that fight , predicted Cloud would get his @ss kicked ! Came way with $500 , after laying odds with two guys who own the local sports’ bar .
Updated my recent piece with comments and then added this additional piece .
Age, is simply, nothing but a number , yet , when it catches up with you , it does make one look old
New piece
Glib, Yes, they are ! In the world of sports and in entertainment, what else, would you tend to expect ?
D-How back in O-town tonight with the Lakers . I guess he’ll be receiving a wonderfully warm welcome ? LOL,LOL,LOL !!!
The Knicks are Steph Curry’s bi$ch , and you heard it here first ! . See last night’s game as evidence of that and how goddamn overrated the Knicks are !
Colangelo is USA Basketball not baseball .
TP (Parker) is on the pine but the Spurs remains the best team in the West . How do I know ? ’cause Kawhi Leonard says so …………… he $$$ked the Thunder all night long , last night . Durantula and Westbrook are feeling sore at the moment .
😉
Tophatal
Tim…
Fortunately, I’ve never had the pleasure of having my wedding photo taken.
“this guy almost beat Kansas?”…
Seriously, how did I not find this for my own site?