The decorative Dwyane Wade caption contest

We haven’t had a good, poke some fun, caption contest in a while so since we’re in the midst of the NBA playoffs where we regularly see fake-spectacled, fashion statements gone awry, I figured what better way to celebrate the derailment that has become the NBA’s dress code.

On Wednesday night, after Miami evened things up against the Chicago Bulls, Dwyane Wade wore this jacket (see below) to the post-game press conference.

Do not attempt to adjust the color on your monitor.

First of all, Wade plays in South Florida where it’s always eighty degrees and sunny, but if it were cold enough for a jacket, why in the world would you wear one like this?

My Grandma Ana used to have plastic covered couches in her living room.  I’m sure she wasn’t the only grandmother who did.  When I saw Wade’s post-game attire, those couches were all I could think of.

Anyway, to the victor go the spoils.  The person who comes up with the most clever caption in the comments section below will win some Paper Mache flowers (just in time for Mother’s Day), a brand new sofa (with the purchase of a brand new sofa) and the right to dust off that old Members Only jacket and wear it proudly around town without being ridiculed.

Good luck.


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35 Replies to “The decorative Dwyane Wade caption contest”

  1. Okay, here’s my stab at it to set the tone.

    “Jacket” by Monet

    Get it? Because there are flowers… on the jacket… and Monet was a French impressionist… who painted flowers? Oh, never mind.

    Carry on.

  2. Pingback: The decorative Dwyane Wade caption contest - BallHyped Blog Network, NBA | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  3. This jacket looks to me like Dwyane Wade is struggling to be the next NBA player to come out of the closet.

  4. Now for the caption: “I want to thank my fashion coordinator, Stevie Wonder, for picking out this stylish jacket.”

  5. Snake….

    Wade was getting his freak on with Gabrielle Union so I’m pretty sure he’s straight, despite his questionable taste in fashion.

  6. First of all, he could be going both ways. Never assume. Second of all, you’re probably right that the jacket costs about three grand, which goes to the point that there are a lot of people who have more dollars than sense.

  7. Snake…

    Was that part of Stevie’s Cosby Sweater line?

    I’d hate to see the inner lining of that jacket, unless of course, that IS the inner lining.

  8. Bleed…

    Your second, or has it been three, 80s sitcom reference in as many posts. It looks like someone’s been watching a little too much Nick at Nite.

    And is Kim Kardashian pregnant or just fat? You know I don’t keep up with that stuff.

  9. Kim Kardashian is pregnant and fat. The daddy is Kanye West. Her body is just catching up to her supersized ass.

  10. Whatchu talkin bout Willis?…I could have said Dwayne looked like Nell Carter’s aborted lovechild or that he could kiss Flo’s grits for rocking that curtain.

    I could have also just as easily dropped Californication, Shameless or Modern Family references but nowaways not everyone knows every show like the good ol 80’s.

    …Back to Wade’s Martha Stewart approved swag…I pity the fool.

  11. “Look Ive got a hot date with Gabrielle Union after this post-game interview and I need to know if I`ll get some head wearing with this jacket “ ?

    Tophatal ………..

  12. Chris

    What am I actually missing here , in terms of this Maxim piece ? Miley Cyrus is now “the hottest female” on the planet according to Maxim’s Hot 100 poll ? Also <a href=" ranked at #69 is Manti Teo’s imaginary girlfriend . Ranked at 69 ? Is that cause for concern or actually meant elicit a chuckle from the subscribers of Maxim ?

    Courtesy of ABC News

    Manti Te’o’s Fake Girlfriend Makes ‘Maxim’s Hot 100′ List

    By Laura Effron

    Lauren Effron

    By Lauren Effron
    Follow on Twitter

    Beyonce, Mila Kunis and Kate Upton are just some of the bodacious bods we aren’t surprised to find on “Maxim’s” annual “Hot 100″ list, but there is one person who made the list this year that we would never expect to see.

    That’s because we can’t see her.

    Coming in at No. 69 on the list is Manti Te’o’s Fake Girlfriend.

    Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez and Rihanna rounded out the top three, respectively, on the men’s magazine’s most beautiful women list. While all of the other women on the list are featured in super steamy head shot photos, “Maxim” features Manti Te’o’s Fake Girlfriend as a black bikini floating in midair with waves and a beach in the background.

    The tongue-in-cheek profile description under the photo says, “After Manti Te’o’s fake girlfriend hoax of 2012, we think it might be nice to have an invisible girl of our own to love. Why not? She’s got a ton of great qualities, including looking awesome in a bikini. ”

    Te’o, a former star Notre Dame linebacker who was recently picked up by the San Diego Chargers, made headlines when it was revealed that his long-term girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, who supposedly had died of leukemia last fall, actually never existed.

    Kekua, who spoke to Te’o through texts, phone calls and Twitter, but whom Te’o said he never met in person, was the alleged creation of a man named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo.

    But the real question is: How does swimsuit model Nina Agdal, who was named Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue as “Rookie of the Year” last year, feel about coming in at No. 70, right behind an invisible women?

    Click on link to read article in full .


    Teo and the number ” 69 , say it ain’t so ? LOL, LOL,LOL !!!! Pillow biting Manti Teo is into oral foreplay but not necessarily with someone from the opposite sex .

    When Teo suits up for the Chargers this upcoming season , everything about the team and the player will have to be labeled and looked upon as being “fake ” !

    So Ronde is calling it quits ? He has had a tremendous career with the Bucs and will go down as one of the top five players in the franchise’s history given the feats achieved with the club.

    Tophatal …………….

  13. D…

    I had heard about that story.

    First I heard “she” was voted onto Maxim’s 100 hottest girls list.

    When I told a friend, who happens to be a Notre Dame fan (sucks to be him) about the story, he quickly corrected me by explaining it wasn’t that she made the 100 hottest girls list but rather one of the top 100 most talked about stories of the year.

    He stands corrected.

  14. Snake…

    In the words of Frank Sinatra, “Regrets, I’ve had a few.”

    And Jenner should have suck with the bowl cut. I mean if Detlef and Chris Mullin are still rockin’ the flat top, then why not, right?

  15. Vergara as more satisfying assets than the entire Knicks roster ! And what te ##ck was melo trying to suggest after the team`s loss in game three ? Perhaps , someone should remind is dumb @ss that it`s not about Pacers not having done enough to win but the end result .

    Kinicks vs Pacers overview

    MLB piece

    Tophatal ………………….

  16. Knicks cannot take the Pacers lightly, Al. If they do, they’ll be packing their bags and wondering what could have been as Indiana becomes the next to (attempt to) tackle the defending champions.

  17. The Knicks at present couldn’t be trusted to tackle or take on the members the Village People and come away with a victory . It’ll be funny should they end up losing this series to the Pacers , because their fans will disappear like a flock of geese , off to migrate .

    They( (Knicks’ fans) make all the noise in the world when the team is winning , only to become docile , and as quiet as a mouse when the team loses . But then again, isn’t that the way with all of the fans for all of the professional sports franchises in the Big Apple and the immediate locale ? Where, oh where , are the Nets’ fans at the moment ? Licking their wounds or licking their own @ss ?

    Tophatal ……….

  18. The Knicks versus the Village People, Al? That’d make for an interesting match-up. With the Village People’s sub-par defense, I imagine Carmelo would be putting up 50-60 shots per game.

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