Dwight Howard shits, gets off pot; now Houston’s problem

Dwight jerseyAnd finally, it’s over.

Like the armful of heavy grocery bags we struggle to carry up three flights of stairs to ultimately rest on our kitchen countertop, our burden has finally been relieved.  Dwight Howard has a home and that home is not in Los Angeles, Oakland, Dallas, Atlanta or any other city we heard rumored as a possible Dwight-stination.

Dwight Howard is a Houston Rocket.  At least, we think he is.

After yet another summer of our discontent waiting to hear with bated breath where the game’s best and likely most overrated center would sign, many of us turned in to read “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” for a little more intrigue.

But it’s official, or at least as official as a Tweet can be.  Dwight’s going to be wearing red.  He will now follow in the footsteps of ring-bearer and greatest Rocket of all-time, Hakeem Olajuwon, just as he decided to follow in the iconic footsteps of Kareem, Wilt and Shaq just one, Tinseltown summer ago.  LeBron might want to inform Dwight that being compared to legends is a tough bag.

Late Friday evening, in typical Dwight fashion (and to some extent, I blame the media for its obsessive coverage of the flip-flopping), news broke that Howard had agreed to sign with the Houston Rockets.  He then back-tracked, at least it was reported, only to agree to sign with Houston once again.  This all happened within a few hours, as if anybody who has paid attention to his career over the past two seasons was in any way surprised.

Dwight Houston Rockets avatar

Either way, despite his mid-evening waffling, and the media and Twitter fracas that ensued, I commend Dwight for finally graduating from the Brett Favre School of Commitment-Phobic Indecision and Waffleability and for finally giving us all something else to talk about.

Since my latest Twitter-related post regarding Tim Tebow landing in Foxboro was such a hit, I thought I’d scour Twitter to see what people were talking about the night Dwight joined, then reneged, then rejoined the Houston Rockets.

There are some real gems here so please enjoy.


@KGTrashTalk @KGTrashTalk ‏

Being excited your team landed Dwight Howard is like being excited you contracted HIV.

Omari Warren @MrOmariWarren

In my opinion Dwight put a ceiling on his career today. There’s a difference between being great and being an ICON.

Dwight Houston Rockets jerseyPeyton’s Head ‏@PeytonsHead

#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen Aaron Hernandez is glad he isn’t as hated as Dwight Howard.

Happy Gilmore ‏@_Happy_Gilmore

Kobe Bryant passes on making a comment about Dwight Howard. This marks the first time Kobe has passed anything in the last 6 years.

Awful Announcing ‏@awfulannouncing

According to Stephen A. Smith, one thing Dwight Howard has never flip flopped on is that he is a friend of Stephen A. Smith.

John Wessling ‏@johnwessling

Maybe I’m cynical, but I won’t believe Dwight Howard is a Rocket until Broussard tells us he signed with the Lakers.

Eric Stangel ‏@EricStangel

Wow, Dwight Howard. Flopping is officially out of control in the NBA…

Evil Mike Tomlin ‏@EvilMikeTomlin

“I’m joining the Rockets…I think…” – Dwight Howard

Dwights a RocketMarc Stein ‏@ESPNSteinLine

That should be Dwight’s jersey number WHEREVER he ends up signing: 50/50

Robert Flores ‏@RoFloESPN

Is it possible… & I’m just spitballin’ here… that maybe Dwight thinks he can play for BOTH the Rockets & Lakers?

Hardwood Paroxysm ‏@HPbasketball

Kupchak: “Oh, thank GOD you’re back. Let’s talk about this.” Dwight: “….oh.. oh, man this is awkward. See… I left these headphones…”

Bruce Arthur ‏@bruce_arthur

If Dwight did The Decision it would last 68 hours. Cameramen would leave. The audience would riot. The director would flee, naked and mad

SportsPickle ‏@sportspickle

Rockets lose Dwight Howard sweepstakes, sign Dwight Howard.

Not Bill Walton ‏@NotBillWalton

The real story isn’t that Dwight chose Houston. Its that Jim Buss has managed to destroy everything his father built in one year.

Rich Eisen ‏@richeisen

This obnoxious Dwight Howard free agency venture underscores, once again, that the NFL season can NOT start soon enough.

And from my Facebook friend, Robbie H…

Chris Broussard says Kevin McHale out, Stan Van Gundy in. Sorry Dwight.

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24 Replies to “Dwight Howard shits, gets off pot; now Houston’s problem”

  1. Pingback: Dwight Howard shits, gets off pot; now Houston’s problem - BallHyped Blog Network, NBA | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  2. Just relieved to know that the SC has food in his refrig. 🙂

    And you know how I feel about Houston. Even Dwight is too good for that city. Or maybe they deserve each other?

    Good post sir!

  3. Howard still needs to become a better player. He’s gotten by on being one of the most genetically gifted athletes in the NBA. But now he needs to develop some post moves in order to take his game to another level. That’s the only way he’ll help Houston win a championship.

  4. I would like to tank Dwight for any indecision over his decision . LBJ is said to have tweeted ….. “ at least I got paid to make my decision before making a donation to the Boys & Girs Club “ .

    tophatal …………….

  5. M…

    He’s already worked with both Hakeem and Patrick Ewing and hasn’t been able to establish himself as a consistent post threat.

    It’s one of the easiest parts of the game. I’m not quite sure why he can’t get that done.

  6. As a Laker fan, I bought into this guy a year ago. But now I’m over it. Sure, he’s a pretty decent player, but he isn’t great. And he’s high-maintenance. Let him be somebody else’s high-buck headache.

    He also needs to learn how to play in the low-post to grow his game. Up until now, he has simply relied on his physicality, but he’s gone as fa as he can with that. Not to mention his body is starting to break down. Bad backs on big guys generally don’t ever really get better.

    As for the Rocket and their status as a “contender,” the Rockets have nobody worth anything in the front court to go with Howard, Jeremy Lin is a circus side-show attraction at best, and Howard might be worth 10 points a game playing with a shot-whore like James Harden.

    And if that weren’t enough, there are two words which will kill this team: Kevin McHale.

  7. Stan Van Gundy has made it known that he does not plan on coaching next season. For the heck of it, wouldn’t it be so great if Van Gundy were to coach the Rockets with Dwight Howard now on the roster? That would be hilarious!

  8. Dubs…

    Dwight’s still essentially a kid (27 years old) but his best year’s may be behind him, which is surprising considering the shape he’s’ in, although I guess that doesn’t really matter all that much. Back surgery is back surgery.

    He was solid when the Magic went on that run to the Finals, pulling down 20-20 games like it was going out of style but I always felt his rebounding stats were overstated considering nobody else on that team could rebound the ball.

    He’s gonna have to buy into a system and I’m not sure that he’s capable of being a leader. Who’s the alpha on that team? Is it Harden, Lin or him? And how long have he and the bearded one been tight enough to “talk championships?”

    Either way, I think they’ll be good, competitive, a fun matchup to watch in the regular season and even deep into the playoffs. But there’s gonna have to be a lot of chemistry and bonding that goes on between that coaching staff and roster before I go all Denny Green and crown their ass.

    Okay, rant officially over.

    Hey, a Heat-Rockets Finals might actually see people rooting for Miami.

  9. CDR/BS…

    Somewhere along the line, Dwight has been able to determine who he wants to have coach him, hence the “I wanted Phil and can’t play for Mike D’Antoni” crap.

    Speaking of crap, one guy who won’t take any of it is Kevin McHale. I think the buck will stop with him so it may very well be post up time or shut up time for Dwight.

  10. Dwight packed up all of his toys and ran off to Houston , not just for the money but because he cannot handle the pressure of playing under bright lights . Now if he fails in Houston , he can always point to James Harden and say it`s his team .

    At no point of his career was Dwight Howard, a player who could be called upon to lead , but yet , idiots were buying into the bs tat he was a real force to be reckoned with . How so ? What has the now spineless yellow streaked center proven , other than he is running scared ?

  11. Weidman`s punch that knocked out Anderson Silva wasn`t sent via UPS , Fedex or the USPS . That sucker got delivered much faster and arrived on time . So much so , that Silva didn`t see it coming . Anderson Silva got knocked the ##ck out .

  12. Al…

    What are we going to consider failure for Dwight now? Isn’t it championship or bust for this team? And if OKC manages to keep both their big guys, how is he going to be able to score against them?

    I saw the Silva knockout. What’s his story? I thought he was supposed to be a great champion. Why was he showboating so much?

  13. Dwight doesn`t have the persona to lead a team . He is more at home , playing second fiddle to others . And in spite of his addition to the Rockets . It may well make them a legitimate contender in the West. By no means does it guarantee them a conference Finals` berth . James Harden had better not think Dwight Howard playing alongside changes the Rockets` fortunes . Hell , they`d have been better off , bringing back Hakeem Olajuwon .

    The Weidman Silva bout was spectacular , simply because of the nature of the loss and its finality . There will definitely be a rematch with at least a $1 million up for grabs for the winner and a sizable paycheck still for the loser . UFC President Dana White knows , he has a blockbuster PPV event on his hands with this rematch .

    If you`ve seen any of Anderson Silva`s bouts , you will see that is the way he fights , in terms of the low hands and the mocking of an opponent . Unfortunately for him , he misjudged Chris Weidman`s punching power and he paid dearly for that error .

    tophatal …….

  14. Al…

    My take on Dwight has been well stated, and probably overstated, over the last two seasons.

    That being said, let’s take a ride in the SportsChump time machine back to 2008-9 when the Orlando Magic made the NBA Finals.

    Dwight was far and away the best player on that team. He was their centerpiece, no pun intended.

    He lead the team in FG%, FTA, ORB, DRB, TRB, BPG and PPG. I’m not sure what happened to that Dwight, whether he was an anomaly, but that’s the Dwight Kevin McHale is hoping to recover.

    And if that’s the way Silva fights, then I’m not sure I’d be a fan.

  15. Some good lines on him…. I threw some out there as well on Twitter and had some tomatoes for him, too. The guy’s antics have turned into a disappointment

  16. All well and good , but leading the team in stats means noting when he can`t be called upon to lead that team and will them to win . All of the great centers ave been known for tat and Dwight Howard will never be one of them at any point of his career .

    A blockbuster rematch seems to be on the cards between Silva and Weidman .

    tophatal ……….

  17. Only a couple of days into being a Rocket, Dwight has already won a title: America’s Most Hated Athlete.

    Congrats on your new found glory Mr. Coward. Enjoy your tenure as the newest member of the Astros.

  18. Al…

    We look at players like Kevin Durant and LeBron James whose numbers, or at least their productivity, have increased basically every year since they’ve been in the league.

    Can the same be said for Dwight?

    I’m not so sure that’s the case.

  19. Bleed…

    He he, who was it that first said Dwight was a member of the Astros? That’s classic.

    Where’s the Shaq quips when we need ’em? Too bad those guys are playing in the league at the same time. We’d see some healthy throw-downs that would probably end up with Dwight running home to mommy.

    Look, Maverick Carter has definitely thrown some bad advice LeBron’s way. He struggled to get his image back to even what it is now, which is still healthily disliked by many.

    Dwight just needs to shut up, rack up 25 and 12 every night and show us he can still play the game. Otherwise, I have a feeling Kevin McHale will join the ranks of those calling him out.

    As we’ve seen, that’s not something Dwight responds kindly to.

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